valdree

Ok, so I am hesitant to say too much here, but my ex husband was cheating (with 5 different women, and yes I found out by checking his phone, for the first time ever in 14 years), and I honestly never saw him eyeing up other women in my presence. I guess he was too busy behind my back. After helping me through a devastating break up, my friend began to wonder about her own husband. Her husband is a good guy and I have repeatedly told her not to let my husbands appalling behavior affect her great marriage by suspecting him of something he isn't doing. What I am saying is, don't let other people's problems interfere in your very personal and private marriage. You have no idea what really goes on between a couple, you only know what they want you to know. Have you spoken to your Bishop? maybe he can help or maybe your ward has a couples Councillor service? Don't bottle it up, it won't go away by itself, but be prepared to admit that its maybe you that needs to have a change of feelings not your husband. Wish I could be more helpful. God bless you x

Thanks for all the replies guys. I have been looking through profiles and updating my own. I think I can verify that a lot of men are not LDS. The very last thing I want is another cheat and liar, so pretending to be another faith is off to a really bad start. I wish I could move but I have a 5 year old son in school, and Scotland's not a bad place to be :) I think its awful that someone was given abuse for saying they only wanted to date another Mormon, surely there are loads of dating sites available for non members to cruise until their hearts content. I was mostly amazed by the amount of people who have 'rarely' or 'never' under church activity, why go there if you are non active? Its good to know its working for some people, I guess its a case of being patient. xxx

Hiya, I am from Scotland, also a divorced Mum, and in my mid 40s, nice to meet you :)

Hello Everyone, I was wondering if anyone has any advice about using LDS dating sites? I have signed up for a couple but to be frank, I am fairly dubious. I live in Scotland and I am 45 years old so I have a very small LDS community in real life. I can't imagine a guy in Utah wanting to start anything with someone so far away if they have children in their country of residence, and although I would consider moving, that seems a bit like a far off dream that would have so many requirements attached. I was married to a non member who was a serial cheater and although I know members and non members are all susceptible to temptation, I really want my eternal husband to already be in the church. I have complete faith in my Father in Heaven and so I know things will work out in the end, but I also feel strongly that I have to do the most I can to help myself, I am just not sure if online dating is the way to go. Any advice, tips or genuine success stories would be very much appreciated. V xxx

Thank you for the replies. Right now I just wish there was a button to press that would make it all go away. I cant even hate him, I love him. This weekend havin him visit our son was torture. :-(

My non member husband of almost 10 years has just left me and my 5 year old son and I am totally destroyed. He was having internet sex with lots of women online but also told me eventually that he has had sex with more than one woman in real life. I love him so much, my world has been blown. apart. How do I cope with this?

Hiya, I have been asked to speak tomorrow in the joint Priesthood and Relief Society meeting EEEK. I was baptised 5th May :)

That is a very good way to think about it PhxLucy7, I know he has enjoyed the changes he has seen and it is not causing tension between us, so yes, it makes me happy too to know that it all has a purpose.

Actually Gwen you did make me feel a bit better. There was a lot there I had not considered yet. One of the Missionaries doing my new members lessons comes from a non member background (he was baptised at 13 and neither parent are members), so I was going to have a chat with him about how it worked for them. And of course I am still hoping that one day my husband will join the church.

Sure, as long as you return the favor lol :)

Hi Gwen, its not really my son I am worried about at the moment, its my husband feeling usurped by the Church when it comes to his own family. He is taking a modest role in family home evenings and is very supportive but really, knows only the basics, and to be honest so do I in some respects. I love my husband so I am sure it has to work itself out.

Thank you both for your replies. I think because I am new to the church these things are more troublesome. Firstly I am very happy and excited by it all, and I don't want to alienate anyone (my husband included) by been irritatingly happy lol I also don't have much knowledge of marriage when both are members or where one is not, so I really am still learning. I have prayed to Heavenly Father about this because its what my heart desires, now I have to exercise my faith that HE knows better than I do how it will all turn out.

Hiya :)

Windseeker I am sure it would make them smile, but make sure you bring plenty of woolly jumpers

Thanks EarlJibbs, Scotland is pretty rainy today, but that's nothing new lol

I have always known that my husband has his own ideas about faith, which he refuses to put into a definable context, (somewhat Buddhist with a bit of Christianity mixed in). Up until joining the LDS Church this was not a problem for us because I was not sure what I believed myself, although I always had faith. I was what some people have referred to as a 'golden investigator'. I asked the missionaries to come myself, I had looked into the church myself, I did not know anyone else in the church, and I felt everything click into place the more I talked with the missionaries. After 5 weeks of lessons I was baptised at my Church by one of the missionaries and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. This was on 5th May this year and I am still having new member lessons and I feel I have a LOT still to learn. My husband is SO supportive and he has helped me as much as he can (being outside the Priesthood), but the more I learn, the more worried I become that we are not spiritually on the 'same page'. Don't get me wrong, our relationship has not changed, but I don't think he realises how apart we can become as I follow my new path. I have also started taking our son (aged 4) with me to church/Primary with my husbands full support, but again, I don't think he realises the potential problems ahead (when my son cant turn to his own Dad for spiritual guidance so then seeks it from other males in the Priesthood). The missionary who baptised me has moved on to another Ward (country actually), and I was unexpectedly floored by his leaving. I kept wishing that it had been my husband who had performed my baptism because I would not be feeling such a wrench when this young man left (I am 43 by the way). My husband was again very supportive and said he had expected it to be hard for me and the bond I had with the missionary was evidently strong, presumably due to my baptism. At another point a different missionary gave me a blessing and I felt that I was really missing out on a wonderful aspect of the church by not having a Priesthood holder in my own home. I am not asking will my marriage survive, because we love each other very much, but I can see a rocky road ahead. My love for the Gospel and Our Heavenly Father is painted on the outside, people have said there is a physical difference in me since baptism, even my husband has said it, so there is no chance of ignoring the elephant in the room. Can this really work out if he never joins the church? Thanks for sticking with me through a fairly long post :)

Hello, I am new to the Church and I have loved my experiences so far. I am the only member of my family (and friends before baptism) to be a member so it can be frustrating at times. Please say 'hi' I am very happy to be able to connect to fellow Mormons from around the globe.