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Found 46 results

  1. Before you assume I'm horrible from the title, hear me out. Recently I was out with a friend and we ran into a friend of hers, who I guess used to be her nail tech. We invited her to sit and eat with us, and while we were and chatting I learned she is a convert to the church of a few years, divorcee of a few years, single mom, and looking to date men who are members. We started talking about dating as we are all single and I teased my friend that she never comes to the Young Single Adult Ward despite being in her 20's. This acquaintance says that she had never heard of singles wards before, and what a fun idea it is. I mention that they should come together sometime with me. The next week my friend puts all of us in a group chat and says we should go to church together. We carpool and this acquaintance really enjoys it, and says she is going to talk to her Bishop about transferring records. However, here is the kicker. I knew she must be a little older as she has grade school aged children, and she mentioned she married young, but she has one of those faces that you can't really tell how old she is. But come to find out she is at least 42, and has a son who is 23! She told us that she does not have an interest in dating men her age, and wants to date guys who are like 25, and not really older. She has come to this singles ward several times, and each time she leaves her grade school age kids home to play video games without taking them to church. She also asked me to take her to FHE and young adult activities. I told her the singles wards are typically for people no older than 30, but she says she doesn't know where else to meet young guys. She says the YSA Bishop told her it would be fine to transfer her records, but I'm imagining he is assuming she is actually YSA age. My friend who has known her a lot longer, says she thinks she is definitely trying to reclaim her youth that she spent married to her former husband. But it's weird. She really is a sweet lady, and as someone who has gotten to know her the past couple weeks I can tell she has good intentions, but I definitely think someone telling her that she would be better off in a family ward should come from someone she knows instead of a stranger in the ward, or be offended. Is it even any of my business? She keeps contacting me to see if I'm going to church or if we can go to activities together. How would you handle this?
  2. I am attracted to a female co-worker of mine; however, I know that she does not date co-workers. Immediately after she said that, she stated that she would be alright going out with a guy if he was no longer a co-worker. We work at a seasonal job that ends in a month, and I feel that a month is a reasonable time to wait before I ask her out. I happen to know that she likes some other guy, but that she is not currently in a relationship with anyone. I am contemplating anonymously sending her flowers of her favorite color with a message like the following: "For a woman with a radiant smile only matched by her radiant soul. -Co-worker that respects your personal rule and is willing to wait." The main idea behind this is so that she knows there is a co-worker interested in her, thereby hopefully increasing the chance that she does not end up getting a boyfriend within the next month. She does not want to date co-workers because of the weird things that can happen in such a situation, so I figure leaving the message anonymous will be better than signing it. My Questions Is sending her flowers appropriate in this situation? If so, should the message be anonymous? Should I do something else to indicate my interest? (Note that I do flirt with her, but I have little relationship experience so I am not entirely sure if what I do comes across as flirting or not.)
  3. I'm sorry if I have wrong grammars and marks on my post...I am really trying to go to sleep tonight as fast as I can....It's already 1:28 A.M. I know this is a forum for spiritual discussions and such...but I really want to type this because I have no other place to go to for advice. It's been a long journey to finding the love of my life. I'm 26, Male, college graduate (BYU)...I never ever had a real girlfriend...like a real relationship that's focused on love, understanding and all the good things that the LDS church talks about....eternal companion. When I was in high school, I was pretty much the most introverted kid. I didn't have much friends...I was the only boy in the family...I have 3 younger sisters...It was really hard. I really wished I had a brother. Growing up...we never really got along as teenagers in the family. My sisters are not that far apart in age. I was the most wayward/awkward kid. My family is all LDS, we were raised in an LDS upbringing. However, I had my rebellious days...because my father and mother were too strict that it really drove me crazy into revolt. It was almost obsessive of them to always demand things on us...like A+ grades, they expected too much of me, and never really gave me Affection for my achievements. I never heard "son, I'm really proud of you". I know it's really BETA for someone to want some affection....but we all need affection from our parents and others...we all need love...I never got that from them....they were basically "providers". They put food on the table, clothing, shelter, bought me a guitar, etc...etc... whatever I needed, wanted...I got it. The only thing missing was..affection...like my mom and dad would come home from work...and basically bail out on me and go to sleep after work or they'd go on a date...etc...like something was really missing....MAYBE a hug...:( I know it's really stupid to say that but that's really how I felt. I got bullied in school...so many times. I'd come home angry and wanting revenge from these bullies...I couldn't do anything. I really felt abandoned EMOTIONALLY when I was a kid. I was molested (at 11 yrs old) by my own cousin...I didn't know what it was till I realized and learned about sexual abuse in elementary school....I never reported it. I didn't know what to feel about it....until one day....I realized that it was really wrong what He had done to me!.............. My parents had a busy busy busy life of WORK...and never really got the time to give affection towards me.....I've read about this in Psychology...and it is true in my case...it causes a lot of self-esteem in most normal kids today...I stayed home (didn't have much friends), played my guitar, drew, played computer/videogames.... most of my days spent were inside....my parents barely allowed me to go outside. I attended swimming school and competed for the sake of it just to get away from the house...and I guess I seeked/sought approval by winning swimming matches...that was the only way I felt loved....winning. Now, when I was in BYU (college), I had the chance to be around people, classmates, away from parents...etc...this was really different in high school...because we had school dances every Tuesday and Thursday and sometimes Saturday...in which I religiously almost attended...I built my dancing skills through these classes and events. While dancing, I also had many chances in talking to women....There were so many awkward conversations...but I built my social skills through that...but when I'm not dancing....It's still hard for me to talk to people. I really tried my best to be "out there". Sometimes, after classes, I would wander around the cafeteria just to strike up a conversation. I didn't hold a job while in college because I took my parent's advice to just focus on school instead of having a job. I should've because I know that would have increased my social skills (if I worked as a cashier or anything that involved social interaction). I deeply regret not having a job while in college. It took me shorter to get my Bachelor's degree, only 3 years instead of 4 because I took more classes since not having a job has perks. So, this habit of mine, dancing, talking to women in events, striking up a random conversation, built up my social skills to the point that I thought I was really good at talking. I worked out and kept a routine, I worked hard on my grades! I practiced approaching women that I thought were attractive while in college. Most of the time, I would get rejected I know I can carry a conversation gracefully....Most of the time, they would have a boyfriend, married, refused me, and even GHOST me...that means they'd give me their numbers and never text me or call me back This really affected me because I would feel so hopeful to come home with a number from a girl..only to find out that she wouldn't even text me back!!! Now, I know I sound desperate but my approach count was about 212 women...in the campus...and I only got about 7 dates...and none of them turned to a relationship. I never had a girlfriend All I really want is this...Love, someone to love....Why is that so much to ask? I asked Heavenly Father for it and never really got anything... I would see couples, boyfriend and girlfriends in the hallway and I'd feel soooo bad about myself...wishing I had someone. Even on facebook, my BYU friends...news and updates would keep spreading from posts...that someone got married, have a boyfriend and girlfriend..and it makes me feel un-worthy, not good enough. I have a forearm tattoo...because I was being stupid and rebellious against my parents...I also got it because I had self harm scars from depression. Now that I have graduated from BYU, looking back at these memories..., It makes me really sad. I never really got I what I wanted and needed! Is it so hard to find a girlfriend? PEOPLE always say the right time will come...but I don't believe it anymore! I am really asking Him for this... It's affecting my self-esteem... Am I too ugly? Did God make me ugly? Did God give me a curse? Am I not attractive? Am I too short (I'm only 5"5, 5"6 with shoes on) I have abs, big muscles, big arms, ripped legs, good skin, etc etc...(humble brag) I have so much going on for me:( I really don't know why... Am I not good enough? but I just wanna feel loved, because my parents couldn't give it to me (emotionally) I try to stay close to Heavenly Father I kept asking Him for the same things over and over again...I'm pretty sure he's annoyed. I self-loath when I wake up every morning...hating myself... Wishing I had somebody else's face (a more handsome one?) Am I unlovable? Sometimes I think of not being born with this face, because I have such low self-esteem... I really don't know what to do... I keep thinking about plastic surgery.. maybe that will help:( Could someone help me through this? I feel like I'm stuck in a never ending spiral! I don't know where else to go to...I've seen many counselors....I don't know anymore...
  4. EllieBelle2015

    BYU-I Don’t

    I’m in my senior year at Brigham Young University-Idaho and I’ve recently been dating a young man who is also a senior. We’re both starting to worry that if we don’t find a spouse now, we’ll never find a spouse. Because of this, there’s a lot of pressure to commit. I enjoy spending time with him, but we’ve had some trouble communicating our expectations and needs, and it’s resulted in us breaking up once already. We both recognized that we needed to spend more time getting to know one another and less time cuddling, etc. We ended up getting together last night, just to communicate and connect on a personal level. The evening ended in the pushing of the boundaries of the Law of Chastity. We talked about it this morning and both agreed that it can’t happen again. I like this young man, but I don’t feel an emotional connection with him. I’m attracted to him physically, but not emotionally. I don’t know if I need to break this relationship off completely. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t know that I’ll ever love him, because I’m not emotionally available due to being hung up on a past love. If I stay with him, I’m afraid it would be purely physical and pushing the boundaries would lead to us eventually breaking the Law of Chastity completely. What do I do?
  5. I'm a single young adult woman in the Church. I've been going through the repentance process for a while now, and recently made some choices that have hindered my progress. Because of this, my Bishop told me not to go to the temple for a while. Although these sins are not related to breaking the law of chastity or my interactions with men, he implied that I should not be dating. He said that if a man were in my position and brought a sister he was dating to meet him, he would tell her that he is "bad news." I'd been dating a guy I really like, and I feel we have a really healthy relationship. He asked me to be his girlfriend a while back and I said we should keep on getting to know each other, which we've been doing. But now with this counsel, I feel I need to be clear with what's going on. How can I say this to him? I don't feel like it's his business to know, and I don't have this level of trust established with him yet, especially since my ex boyfriend broke up with me when I confided it to him (even though he had a porn addiction, but whatever.) I still would like to make it known that I want to see if it would work out in the future.
  6. Hey, I'm a 21-year-old sister. I was in a relationship with a nonmember when I was 19 and ended up breaking up because of stuff, and now I've been single for two years. I had two guys ask me out: one a RM who is 8-year-older than me and then another one who is also a member (he' 26 now). The latter guy asked me out again 2 years later (which is now) even after I rejected him before. He said he'd wait until I am available. :l I did reject the first guy (even though he liked me a lot) because I feel like I wasn't ready for a steady relationship and he seemed to be looking for a wife already. And I'm only 21, fresh out of college, and just started my new job. They only wanted a date, but I rejected them right away. They say first dates aren't supposed to be preoccupied about bc you're actually getting to know the person first before anything. I'm just afraid it will blow up into something serious and I don't feel ready for the responsibilities. Also, going on dates feels awkward for me. I'm also an introverted person and generally cautious of people and guys, especially after I had my first heartbreak :( Am I missing out on things? I visualize myself rejecting another guy who'll ask me out out of the same fears and feeling of not being prepared for the emotional and 'financial' demands of a possible relationship. I also live in a family where young adults being on a steady relationship at my age (or within the 20-23 year old age range) is being frowned upon because elders would say: You're too young to be committed OR you have to help your family first before dating OR you shouldn't be committed at that age yet OR wait until you're 25 or something. P.S. My family is mostly Mormons, but of course our culture also blends in.
  7. SweetJester

    Dating before divorce?

    I think I am posting in the right area. I didn't know whether to post in the Singles area, since I am not really..? A bit of background info: I was baptized when I was 21 and left the church not long after. I married a non member and we ended up separating in Dec. 2007 after over 5 years of marriage (no kids). I met a wonderful, active LDS man (I'll call him M) in Sept. 2008 when we were both on holidays in Europe. I truly believe we were meant to meet and he feels the same. We fell hard for each other and kept in touch ever since (we live 4000 km's apart and in different countries)! LOL We get together when we can, talk all the time and it is going great! I returned to the church in Dec. 2008 and am feeling confident and happy about being back. I know that even without this amazing guy that I would stay a part of the church, I have my testimony back and am thankful. My problem is this: I am still not technically divorced! Everything is in motion towards that (of course M knows about this). It could possibly take until summer until the divorce is finalized, possibly sooner. I have prayed about what to do regarding dating M while still technically married and I keep getting the feeling that I can proceed. M and I agree that once I am actually divorced we can plan a lot easier. Right now we are in the "exclusive to each other but lets keep it fairly quiet" stage. Our close friends know, and my family and they are all supportive. Are we doing the right thing? I know this is a silly question and I am not sure why its bothering me considering I have prayed about it and feel I am on the right path. Thanks for your help! ~SJ
  8. so there is this girl that got back from her mission and joined my ysa ward in December. I met her and thought she was really cute, but i didnt want to get to close to her because she told me she was leaving the ward for school in September. I know thats a long ways away but i didn't want to end up in a long term relationship. Anyways during church activities and FHE activities she would go out of her way to talk with me. She is funny and has one of the strongest testimonies I have heard. So I thought, what the heck ill ask her out. She said yes and I took her out to dinner. We had a lot of fun so I asked her out again. She said yes, but i wasn't sure what to do. One thing i look for in a girl is if they will be a good teacher to her future children. so i prayed for a way to find that out about her. I got a prompting to take her to Temple square and the Church history Museum. I did and I had never seen someone so excited to be there. She knew so much about the temple and church history. I'm pretty sure the Lord was telling me that she would be an excellent teacher. So i asked her out again and we went out a few more times. I've been to the temple multiple times, prayed about it there and felt really good about everything. Anyway yesterday I finally told her how I feel. She just said she didn't want anything serious. i told her that I knew she just got home and I didn't want to try to rush her into making a decision. She said she really appreciated that and enjoyed spending time with me though. So I don't know what to think. One other thing to add to this is when I got set apart for my current calling in the ysa ward. I was told in the blessing that If I fulfilled my calling I would have the opportunity to meet my eternal companion. For the record I am not desperate to get married. I just feel a pull to working towards it and I feel like the Lord is pushing me towards it as well. I am about to get released from this calling and I believe I have given it my all. Sometimes I have this lingering thought in the back of my mind saying that I didn't fulfill my calling fully and thats why I'm still single. Some background on her. She has never been in a relationship before. Could that be a factor? Idk I just feel like I prayed and gave this everything I had and got nothing in return even though I felt really good about it. She reminds me of how I felt on my mission, which was the happiest I had ever been. COuld that just be because she just came home? Maybe I just need to have patience idk do you guys have any advice? Was I really receiving revelation about all this or was it my our thoughts that made me feel good about this? How did you guys rely on the Lord when it came to finding your eternal companion?
  9. Chacabuqueño

    What do women want in dating?

    So I am a young twenty something year old guy who is trying to meet a special someone. Turns out it is kinda hard. I have really struggled these past few months, I’ve asked many girls out and very few have accepted. I have felt little connection with any of them, likely because they displayed no engagement or interest. It seems as if many girls have complexity ceased to try, as if they consider it only the man’s job to prove himself worthy. Many a time I have put in the first couple of moves, to no avail. (Just so you know, I am a normal guy, I’m not inactive, I’m not a stalker, I’m not a jerk, and I don’t have 3 eyes) So, what is it that women look for? What do they expect from a man in the dating process? How can I know if she is interested? I know now that a lot of girls lament that they don’t get asked on dates, and that there aren’t any nice guys, but my experience has lead me to discredit the validity of those sentiments.
  10. Hi all- hoping for some advice and I'll start with background info- I'm a new member that has struggled with the WOW and investigated the church when I met my BF(now husband) -When we met my husband also struggled with WOW and was a somewhat-repentant struggling RM. Basically I got baptized a year later and then we got civilly married. Once we were married it was hard, because my husband has been breaking the WOW while I was preparing for my baptism. So our problems stemmed from basically falling in love when neither of us were temple worthy. When we first started dating I was not a member and wanted to have sex with him, he caved in soon-so he had to repent for that and we stopped for awhile before we got married so he could Get back his priesthood. (Didn't have it before me for a little while-either) I didnt know about temple covenants and the importance of the law of chastity, WoW and the PH until I really started investigating before I got baptized. Flash forward and we have been married and we're both breaking the WOW for some time. Basically my husband is a good guy with a tough background and I'm also here as a result of difficult circumstances- but I just really really struggled. At the beginning of the year my husband started talking to his ex gf a lot because she broke the law of chastity and wanted a friend. But he had just finally started to clean up his act with the wOW and was waiting for me to do that too.. I've never been to the temple or gotten my blessing because I was just too sad and focused on our problems -didn't know to use the gospel to help us. And I think he was really depressed. Basically they started talking all the time and I found her to be fantasizing about my husband, literally. And meanwhile he wanted a divorce-but Didnt begin the process because he didn't have enough money to move out and his own car at the time. Blah. So I'm really being neglected at this point, ignoring all the guys that want my attention and I'm just having faith things will work out. He wasn't perfect but was expecting me to change instantly when I've already changed so much. The church IS for me and I'm a completely different person now- but obviously have a lot to do to improve my life. My husband is always mad, unhappy with me etc but uses me financially. I was too quiet about our problems in the beginning of our marriage, and now that he was really not approving of me, it was a little late to change his thinking about what he wanted. So he moves out on me finally before our one year anniversary and we keep fighting. he still needs me to take him to work, meanhwile he's emotionally invested in his ex gf and he repentance process trying to "help her" - but she as trying to visit him from out of state- coming to literally visit him only, and started telling him about her high sex drive and crap. Mind you- this girl is completely irrelevant to me, not cute and a total loser wanting attention- but I started to feel really angry that he was liking all her attention- since I was always focused on what I was doing wrong and not what he was doing to make things harder. So a few months ago I've been starting to move and I'm now out of state. I am here trying to get some space and hell myself by saving money. I visited him a few times and it's been good when I first arrive- but the closer I get To leaving town- he starts showing disapproval and how much he wants things to be over. I'm on a rollercoaster in our marriage. Always holding hope until recently- but now I'm mad I didn't just get an annulment. I love him more than anyone in the world and wanted to be sealed. It just has been tough for me as a new member never having the PH in our house and seeing how he handled things. I definitely should've just kept my baptismal covenants... but here is where my question lies. About 3 months ago (he moved out before this) I was visiting him, and was raped by a stranger. Long story but in the end, my husband ignored me and didn't talk to me for a month after that because of our marriage problems. He blocked me on Facebook too. That really hurt. Then he finally called me saying he had been praying, I went and saw him for 2 months and helped him with $$ and everything, but a few weeks ago when I was about to leave again, he started to be a jerk and saying he doesn't want to be married. I get out of town to where I'm staying and AGAIN he started ignoring me, going as far on thanksgiving to block me again on Facebook and then block me on the phone because I was telling him let's get this divorce- I don't want to be married to someone that doesn't know how to love uncondiontially when he makes mistakes and bad choices too. Basically im at a point now where I feel so far away from him and have no hope. We aren't in the divorce process yet because he's broke! So I'm stuck in this marriage and just decided last week to start hanging out with some guys and getting to know other people. But this guy ended up kissing me the other day and I'm really frustrated because I know I should have just been more careful and avoided being alone with anyone again. esoecially after having an adult male stranger sexually assault me months ago.. but I just wish that I had avoided that situation because even though nothing really happened I can feel that I don't want to be in that position again. I'm meeting with my bishop tonight. But I'd appreciate any insights into my situation and what to do. I want to stay married to my husband but he's just unhappy with himself so we aren't even talking. I feel alone and need to turn to God and get myself to the temple but it's definitely hard and I feel guilty for allowing myself to try hanging out with members of the opposite sex and not preventing an advance on me. I know from here I won't be spending any time with any men anymore, but I could use any advice and thoughts in this subject matter. Our separation has been going on for almost a year now but obviously there have been periods of trying to work on things and we have only been living separately for 6-7 months. Sorry for such a long story but this is hard- I love God and I just want a better relationship with him and myself. But don't know what to do about my marriage anymore. Stay strong and have more patience or push for the divorce to happen faster? Thank you for any input.
  11. Hey, so I have been talking to this girl for a while now who is from the Philippines. I am from the US. I am going to BYUI and she is applying for BYU Hawaii. She is really sweet and is a RM and I talk with her sister sometimes as friends so I know she has feelings for me as well. I have told her that I am considering visiting her there in the Philippines, as I have been considering going on a trip this fall. Besides the obvious complications, any advice on how to proceed? Any advice on Filipina women would be appreciated hahaha
  12. I seem to recall that when I was a teen my church leaders encouraged my generation to date (and to date more in groups than one-on-one alone for obvious reasons). Over the past couple of decades or so I've observed many parents lamenting that their teens "never dated" and some of the parents draw a connection between "this generation's behavior" and the fact that their child is past his or her twenties and still unmarried. I remember over-hearing the bishop in a singles ward only a few years ago "grilling" a ward member in the hallway outside the foyer about whether he had asked enough girls out that week, hahaha.) I am happily married (41 years) and when fondly remembering my own youth I include happy and fun memories of dating "alot". (I'm hearing in my mind the lyrics to John Mellencamp's song, Cherry Bomb: "...when I think back about those days all I can do is sit and smile." I like to believe that having met so many wonderful girls helped me to recognize the one I chose to marry when I finally met her. With this little personal background anecdote I'm curious whether any of you have an opinion (whether from personal experience or not) on the benefits (notwithstanding the risks and challenges that have always beset young people in their teens and single adults) or whether it even matters at all about dating "alot or a little".
  13. I have tried ldsplanet and ldssingles which need to pay a membership fee. Do you guys know if there is any other lds dating apps or websites that are free?
  14. Indeed98

    My Search

    Hi, I am new to the site, just wanted to ask anyone who might be able to help. I am having a hard time finding any young lady who is a member to date. I live in an area with few mormons and because of current circumstances, I am not able to move. I am 19, red headed, going to school for accounting. I have a strong testimony, and I want anyone I date seriously to have the same, or atleast an understanding of the gospel. I am open minded to nonmembers, I just dont want to lower my standards and lose any chance of the spirit being involved. Anyway, if anyone knows any single lady that has similar issues, let me know. I dont want to seem awkward or desperate, just frustrated. Thanks
  15. I've been friends with this one guy for almost 4 years now. He and I have been dating off and on for about 2 years, and we're both the same age. Last February, I took him to my school's winter formal, and when I dropped him off at his house, he told me how he felt about me, and I could tell he has a big crush. I didn't know how to respond though I am crushing on him big time, (have been since I've known him just about) but I had his mission in mind so I didn't really take action or tell him that I felt the same way. Between that night and now, he has gotten his mission call, and he's going on his mission in June, so about 2 to 3 months from now, and I wanna sit down with him and tell him my feelings and that I feel the same way, but I don't know if 2 to 3 months before his mission would be the right call. I don't wanna make any promises with him about dating in the future or anything, just tell him how I feel cause it's gonna bother me until I tell him. What would be the right thing to do?
  16. Does not wanting to be apart from someone you're dating always mean that you want to be with them forever? I dated this guy for a year and it was a bad relationship because we were both in rough spots. We took a three month break because he went to school in another state and I stayed home. I didn't talk to him pretty much all that time and dated someone else, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. Now I'm in school with him and we're talking again, and we're both doing much better. My problem is that I don't want to be apart from him and I'm not sure why. I feel like there might be other people better suited for me, but I almost don't care because I don't want this guy not apart of my life. Could it be familiarity? What do you guys think?
  17. chelseacurranauthor

    When members get set up by nonmembers

    My friend, Rockford, and I agreed to start a YouTube channel called "Words on the Rocks" where we talk about the wonders of dating as a Mormon millennial living the YSA life. "Young Single Adult" and asked people to comment on our facebook page their worst date stories. We picked two and reenacted the one typical to what it's like when members get set up on dates with nonmembers. some can be really fun; a nice way to reconnect with old friends or meet new people. This women didn't realize the two men she encountered had a reputation for breaking the law! The video is very low budget, but fun to watch. Our other videos talk about the creepers we encounter in the dating world, as well as cliques in singles wards. Check it out!
  18. I am frustrated. I just spent the last 2 hours going through the admission process for 3 different "LDS dating sites" only to find out that certain crucial aspects of the process(you know, receiving and answering messages, uploading profile pictures, finding matches, etc.) require payment. I do not want to pay $9.99 for a month-long service. I live in a rural area and I do not have access to too many wholesome men as it is as the singles ward is farther away than I can reasonably drive. Do any of you know of a dating service or site that encourages people of the LDS faith to get together that is free to use? Or have any suggestions for how to find someone? All we have around here by way of recreation are bars(nope), country clubs(nope), and...other churches. I already intend to pray about this but I felt like just looking online and trying to get this rusty wagon wheel turning again with conversations with people of like minds, you know? My biggest mistake with my last marriage was that we were both not very strong to start out with and when times grew tough as far as spiritually, we couldn't look to each other for that strength and neither one of us suggested that we might ask God for help. I went down some very dark roads after that and although I know I cannot depend totally on another person for my testimony, it is my ideal to find someone with similar values so that we can offer each other an example and strength in the spirit, when we need it. I think because of how passionately I feel about the church it'd be best to find a Mormon guy. If you have any ideas or suggestions, I am open to hearing them.
  19. ALostSoul

    Dating?

    I've been wanting to date and have been looking around my area for people to date, but haven't had a lot of luck. The church is kind of small where I live, so the few YSA wards are too far away and I go to community college, which does not have as many options as I thought. Any suggestions?
  20. Jacobliv

    Dating

    Hey all, I have a bit of a predicament, and I know to some degree a lot of people can relate. I recently returned from my mission, and obviously there is a big pressure on my to date. I know how important this is, in fact, I want to. I desire to date. But I am scared. The reason I am scared is mainly due to the fact that while I was on my mission, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I have seen it play a much larger part in my life compared to before my mission (I have had some degree of anxiety for years now). Before I left for college, I asked a girl from my YSA ward on a date, and she said no, and it kind of took a toll on my confidence in that field. For one of the classes I am in, we are doing a comfort zone assignment, where we need to get outside of our comfort zone, and I realized that this really makes me uncomfortable. There is a girl that I want to ask out, but I am scared, and I don't know how to go about it. Essentially, my anxiety is getting the best of me.
  21. So I dunno if this is the right board but here we go! I am a LDS member, mid-20s, and fairly active! Right now I'm feeling a bit bummed out, one of my dreams is to get married in the temple and share a wonderful, fun life with my future wife! Lately though in the dating scene it hasn't been going too well, like the dates are fun and i have made a lot of good friends but it always grinds to a screaming halt when the topic of families and children come up. I never want to have kids, the idea of sleepless nights, crying, etc, really doesn't appeal to me and I'm pretty sure that isn't changing, I just want to live my years having a fun life with my future wife. But in my area almost every girl i have met in the church wants to have children and big families and such. It kinda bums me out cause I don't want to be alone forever but at the same time I don't want to change what i look for just to have a chance. So yeah I am just wondering, is there anyone else out there that thinks similarly? it would be nice to see some like minded people. (also I am kindly asking you don't say "well when you meet the right women and get older you will want kids" that's not happening and I'm kinda sick of hearing it, thank you!)
  22. Hi there, I'm a mormon all my life and have been in and out of the church many times. I have finally decided to stay in my faith and chose to stay in the church's standards and expectations. Because I have lack of knowledge about mormon dating, how do I ask out a mormon girl on a date? What pickup line do I use? I have provided tons of these...lol I have no idea where to begin with. This girl is from Peru, she's beautiful, she speaks good english, and she's kind. I really don't want to mess this up. I know her as a friend. So what do I say to her? The 13th Article of Faith requires me to ask you out (“If there is anything virtuous, lovely or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”) If Eve was tempted by an apple than you must be my fruit. Even with the Liahona, I get lost in your eyes. You remind me of the fruit in Lehi’s dream. Precious above all others Can I introduce you to my friends to prove that angels really do exist? God broke the mold when He made your sweet face. I want to be like the Spirit, to be with thee whithersoever thou goest. What’s ur favorite temple? I’m lookin’ at mine. If we were around with Noah… then you, me… pair. my spiritual gift is my good looks… it lifts peoples spirits The tree of life called, it wants it’s sweetness back. The tree of life called, it wants it’s sweetness back. welcome to the christian family… the only family where brothers and sisters can marry each other. I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you, then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder I just got back from my mission and I’m looking for my next companion! now i know why Solomon had 700 wives… Because he never met you Are you the spirit? Because whenever I think about you I feel a burning in my bosom. Are you the iron rod? Cause I wanna hold onto you for the rest of eternity. Is the spirit telling you what it’s telling me? Is your name virtue? Cause you garnish my thoughts. Use this at your singles ward. I knew I’d feel the spirit at church, but I never thought I’d see an angel. Are you a gadiaton robber? Because u just stole my heart. (If they do not know that this is one of the Mormon pick up lines they are not Mormon) Don’t I know you from the pre-existence? Guy sees girl and says: Oh good! Now I can break my fast. Girl asks: Why? Guy: Because I see the answer to my prayers. What time do you have to be back in heaven? I just got back from my mission….. i’m looking for another companion and i just found one. God told me to come talk to you No, i’m not coveting, I intend to make you mine. Have you ever held the Priesthood? Guys puts his hand out The Bible says “Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry”; how about dinner? For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me Did it hurt? …… When you fell from heaven? What’s your name and number so I can add you to my “prayer” list If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself. I’d pick you over Satan any day. God was just showing off when He made you. I know milk does a body bood, but how much have you been drinking?!!!!! Even with the Liahona, I get lost in your eyes:)
  23. My fiance basically began a relationship with a woman after about three months after we got engaged and three months before we were suppose to get married. It was with a woman from work who is 10 years older than him, she is married and has five kids. She told him that she had feelings for him (she was in a horrible marriage, her husband is just horrible) and my fiance reciprocated about a month later they ended up kissing on a few different occasions. He told me that when it started he thought he was losing feelings for me and thought he wasn't in love with me anymore. A month before our wedding my fiance told me and also our stake president. We broke up, but are now trying to work it out. Before it started he had to work everyday for over a month including sundays because the other supervisor was out of town. During this time we began fighting a lot, I was getting upset at him for no reason and I was dropping him off at work like that. We both weren't preparing well for our sealing, we were hardly reading our scriptures, praying, hadn't been to the temple since before we got engaged, we barely even read the marriage prep manual that our bishop gave us. We were both just really busy with school and work and I was stressed all the time and felt like our relationship was on auto-pilot. As long as i've known my fiance he's always been a righteous priesthood holder. This is so out of character for him and especially since the other woman is sealed to her husband. My fiance and I were friends for a while before we started dating and have been together for about two years. Its been almost two months since he told me and at first he was really emotional and depressed. He was crying all the time, he was upset that he hurt me and hurt her family. He kept telling me that he never thought he would do something like that. Now, he's been doing much better and is an even better boyfriend then he was before. I really believe that he'll never do anything like this again and I know that it is kinda normal for engaged couples to get cold feet and one ends up doing something similar and they still end up getting married eventually. The hardest thing for me is not knowing how this will affect our relationship if we do get married. Infidelity is everywhere, in movies, books, magazines, music, everywhere. How do we handle uncomfortable situations like that. People always say Satan is going to work harder on you now because you are engaged and to me that meant physical intimacy which we never had a problem with. I didn't think the adversary would be working on us emotionally. I just want to know if this is possible to get through and if its possible not to let this affect me in the future. I know it was just a kiss but its still hard. He's not done with his repentance process yet and hasn't gotten his temple recommend back yet. My bishop told me to be patient and that I wouldn't be able to make a decision until he has fully repented and has a clear conscious.
  24. truebeauty

    Athiest & Mormon

    Hey- so, I'm a Mormon and he's an Atheist- yes, we've been dating for several months now, going strong. However, we are struggling with the Law of Chasity- and unfortunately; we've crossed the line a couple of times. We need help- advice, anything and PLEASE don't say that I need to leave or run away from him; (especially if its because he's Atheist) because it wasn't just his fault; I am to blame to for this as well. Thanks.
  25. I just turned in my mission papers and I am anxiously waiting for my call. It’s been a dream of me to serve the Lord but there is one problem in the way. I’ve been dating a beautiful, loving girl in the same faith with me, but she kept something from me. Five months after have been dating, she confessed something to me and I feel stupid for not noticing, or maybe she is just good at hiding it. Well two weeks before she conceived her child, she confessed to me that she was pregnant and expecting. She didn’t tell me this because she thought I would leave her, and I finally gained her trust so she told me. Fortunately I stayed, because I did not want to leave her. Well we named the child Mahonri, as the biblical name of the brother of Jared, and I took him as my own, even though I am not the biological parent. During the time in her hospital, I helped pay expenses since I had a very good job, and I grew to love the adorable thing. I helped take care of it while she went to work, I even begged to keep the little thing over the weekends. The feeling of having Mahonri with me was amazing. But I also want to serve a mission, and I know that it is my obligation. Mahonri is now three months old, but I don’t know if the saying “You can’t go on a mission anymore if you have [broken the law of chastity] and have a baby since you have a family now” still applies to me. I’ve asked for parental advice, but they tell me my obligation is the mission. I want to go, but I can’t leave my girlfriend and her child! I’m too scared to ask church leaders for they will think I am lying and that Mahonri is my biological child. I’m just really torn. The mission, or the family I could have?