LatterDSaint

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  1. On a whim I traveled from Reddit to MormonHub just to get a more relative perspective for various topics I was reading about and it appears that this thread I created over half a year ago gained quite a bit of attention. I save my login and passwords for everything so I had no trouble accessing my account again. The replies here are really thought provoking and interesting so much appreciated. As a brief update I did end things with my ex girlfriend. Which was almost 7 months ago. I found the situation to be impossible to move past. I was never going to feel comfortable with any level of friendship she had with the other guy especially considering the circumstances of the proximity they would have. It was the toughest thing I have ever had to do and it took me a long while to do so after a lot of helpful advice from my own friends and family to finally end it. But I thank the Lord I did. I may have been fully committed but my ex unfortunately couldn't be. With everything said and done I am content with life and moving forward with the direction the Lord wants me to go. I still yearn almost to be in another relationship because of the intense happiness that is felt being able to open yourself up to another person in the way I did, but this longing is conditional on being in a relationship where our boundaries are compatible hence why I must take my time and be patient. I pray you are all well and are blessed till the end of days.
  2. I gave my girlfriend a back massage yesterday after I read your post which but at the time I guess I forgot about it since she knocked out 4 hours of study and she deserved the massage, so as I see it, there isnt any resentment lingering from the ordeal getting rehashed again haha LOL I tend to want to get deeper and deeper into topics I discuss with my girlfriend which I think are important and there are times where she is very resistant to go further because she gets mentally worn out before me after a while of our prolonged back and forths hahahaha
  3. This is an amazing analysis of the situation. The detail and analysis based on how I described it blows my mind. I did log on just now cause I havent been here for a while and was curious if any new comments on this thread came up, but mind you I have tried to close/ delete this thread a while back because rehashing it all again could make me resent my girlfriend somewhat because of what happened. I really do like this site so I will share a bit more details on what has happened since. To start off, my girlfriend has absolutely gained back my trust. I trust her more than anyone else second to our Savior Jesus Christ. The fact of the matter is that her "best friend" who I had a conversation with now appears to be her "friend" nowadays perhaps due to his acknowledgement of what my girlfriend means to me after our civil conversation and also perhaps due to a situation that happened recently. Obviously after what had happened things were a little rocky but she recognized the mistake she made that night and I believe my girlfriend when she promised that she wont put me in a position that made me feel the way I did again. Now onto what happened recently. Me and my girlfriend often have dinner together and the girl I went out with once while we were split works near where we eat. My girlfriend and I both passed her and me and this girl waved to each other. Following this, me and my girlfriend were about to head into the dinning hall to eat but I doubled back and firmly asked my girlfriend "Can we say hi to (girl I went out with once)?" and my girlfriend gave a slight nod of approval. Unbeknownst to me, it was extremely awkward for my girlfriend even as my arm was around her while I was talking to (girl I went out with once). After a minute of talking I said bye to this girl and me and my girlfriend sat down to eat. My girlfriend mentioned that she did feel uncomfortable but said that "I can be friends with her" since friendships are valuable to her for reasons I wont discuss here. Later on that day, me and my girlfriend were hanging out and I mentioned how her "bestfriend" reminds me of a guy I am familiar with but not friends with. I mentioned this guy I am familiar with before to my girlfriend and mentioned how I wouldnt want her hanging around that type of person because he is a flirt and doesnt seem interested in a serious relationship which is similar to my girlfriend's friend (who is on her team btw) from my perspective. After my comment, my girlfriend opened up about how what happened earlier had been weighing on her mind, and through discussion between her and I, which led to emotions, I recognized how what I did made her uncomfortable. At the time, I hadn't contacted this girl since I got back together with my girlfriend (about three weeks before), apart from accepting her friend request (at the approval of my gf) and I also want my girlfriend to meet her and I also felt that a wave to this girl wasnt the most respectful act I could have shown hence why I wanted to say hi, but I fully recognize how this was not appropriate with or without my girlfriend being there. I too was very apologetic because my girlfriend helped me understand that I took away from our time to have dinner, to "touch base" with this girl who I was obviously interested in the period before me and my gf got back together. Even through this, my girlfriend made a point where she recognized how her friendship with this guy on her team will always make me slightly uncomfortable and how she experienced a similar type of "betrayal" I must have felt back then, so whilst it was not a premeditated act of revenge by me, I think my girlfriend fully understands the reality of making each other uncomfortable especially when it comes to how we behave around people of the opposite sex where there is some historic connection no matter how innocent or platonic it may appear. Perhaps she and I should make a pact that anytime either of us say the line "he/she is just a friend (who is single)" we should end that friendship immediately lol. Her guy friend is on her team so I am well aware that a friendly relationship between them is inevitable given their emotional (non physical) history, so its something I have gotten used to. I know she loves me and respects our relationship, hence why I love her and trust her.
  4. Hi Gator. I am curious looking back on this thread. If this bestfriend of yours wasnt in a relationship of her own, is it likely that your wife would have a different attitude towards your relationship with her?
  5. At the end of the day, whilst the way she did what she did the other night, I do forgive her and believe that she will make the appropriate amends going forward. We have spoken about everything twice today
  6. Im not playing any mind games lol. Are you saying that me describing the reality of what happened is playing mind games? Look I trust her but Im not an idiot. Whether she realized it or not she did dress in a certain way that day after I left and right when she knew her friend was about to pick her up...
  7. well what do you mean. Are you saying that she was lying about dressing in a way to please her friend? Not quite sure I follow you here...
  8. wow, i think its possible that she did not want to admit that she did dress the way she did for her friend's sake. I mean, who would want to admit that? But if it occurred subconsciously then can I really hold her responsible for that? I guess I ought to if I consider myself a man...
  9. wow. I really do consider her a mature human being. She has been there for me and we have had many important deep conversations about different topics and her reasoning has always been sound from my perspective.
  10. she is the first girl I have ever been in a relationship with so it wouldnt be this but I understand your advice here that if I cant trust her, then in no way can I marry her.