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NeedleinA last won the day on January 5

NeedleinA had the most liked content!

About NeedleinA

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    Fidei Defensor

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    Deep in the stack
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    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

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  1. NeedleinA

    I desperately need some advice :(

    You are more than welcome @kiwigirl1. When awful times come, especially the really awful ones, it is then that we truly are able to see what we are made of. We truly get to see what years of testimony building has taught us, and solidify what we really believe in. I've noticed that when presented with huge life altering challenges, individuals inevitably chose two different paths. They either: 1. Fall apart. Begin to doubt in God, "why could he let this happen to me?". Their testimony is shaken if not crushed. They abandon the Savior and his extended hand and basically forget all the lessons they ever learned or taught about staying strong when trials arise. OR 2. They cling even harder to God. They say, "I know that he loves me and whatever comes next, I prefer to travel down that path with him by my side than alone". Their prayers are more intense and sincere than ever. Their desire to be spiritual increases, and by so doing, they feel the relief of Savior's atonement more often during their time of need. My prayer is that you will white knuckle grasp to the latter option and not let go. Lastly, what your husband recently said to you, 'may' in reality be a blessing or answer to your prayers, thus allowing to you move forward without guilt or reservation. I would contact your Bishop next. Allow him to counsel with you. Best wishes.
  2. NeedleinA

    I desperately need some advice :(

    @kiwigirl1, I'm sorry you find yourself in this position, it sounds like your heart truly does hurt. From one stranger to another, I'll share a couple of thoughts in no particular order. 1. I hope that in typing out your feelings, even if to strangers, you found some kind of comfort in doing so. Simply verbalizing out loud or writing down your inner thoughts can be a healing process. Keeping a journal can be extremely helpful if you have no one else readily available to talk with. 2. While in the mist of being emotionally hurt, traumatized or depressed... we typically are not on our "A" game. Doubt, concern, frustration, fear, etc. can easily begin to overwhelm: common sense, hope, rational perspective, etc. I share this, so that hopefully you can take a deep breath and realize this is probably happening to you as your mind zips around back and forth playing out 100 different scenarios at once. Pause. Breathe. Realize that you have more control in this situation than you might remember. 3. In your post, one thing that I noticed was a lack of sharing things that would surely strength you in this time of need. Rhetorical: How are your personal heartfelt prayers to our Father in Heaven going? What guidance have you asked for and received from the Spirit on this matter? Have you gone to the temple, alone, to meditate in peace on what to do? Have you asked your Bishop for advice? etc. I know you said you are active now, these are some of the many uplifting tools at your disposal that can help carry you through this situation. Remember, remember the Atonement. It has the power to lift burdens, heal heartache and restore hope. 4. Do you really know this? Do you honestly believe in your heart that you deserve so much more? Once you honestly believe this, you will take courage and actually stand up for yourself and your own self interest. Part of the problem of item #2 (above) is you can start to doubt if you truly do deserve more and start accepting fiction over fact, in this case perhaps the insincerity your husband feeds you about the other woman. Stay strong. Besides our Father in Heaven and the Savior, you are your number one advocate. 5. Decide what you want. Once you know what you want, act upon it. Do you want to work things out? Do you want to part ways with your husband? Do you want counseling with your husband? Whatever it is, seek confirmation from the Spirit that it is the right course of action and then act. I'll stop here in the interest of not dragging out endless thoughts. Hang in there, you can get through this.
  3. NeedleinA

    Moving away when you're the Bishop

    I agree with everyone else. Family first. Moving might not change anything. Moving could make it better. Moving could make it worse. Trade one 'bad' influence for a 'worse' influence. If the Spirit tells you to move, then that sounds like a better direction. My LDS sister-in-law was dating a perfectly fine member of the Church, he just didn't have tons of aspirations. We uninspiredly suggested she try dating someone else instead. So she did, a non-member to our surprise who took her down a dark path into inactivity. Point A: If the Spirit says it is the thing to do, do it. Point B: If fear alone is the driving force see point A.
  4. Not me. It was @Jane_Doe, @Vort , mods & others. I just watched it happen. Why did he/she do it, who knows.
  5. NeedleinA

    Family and the new firearm prohibition

    Soooooo corny, you can't help but laugh out loud. You crack me up @mordorbund
  6. and giving... not civilians of course.
  7. Both accounts @Junior and @JKing have been banned. The 'mom', the 'son', the 'mystery silence', the whole story... was just that... probably nothing more than a story. Despite the story, perhaps there are still little nuggets of advice on the thread that future readers can glean from it, starting with being honest.
  8. Some quotes up for consideration. President Spencer W. Kimball, Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 4: Elder Joseph Fielding Smith, Way to Perfection, 44:
  9. We did mention it, but glad you also mentioned it too. Same page on this one, if it is really needed. We have a recently returned missionary who works for us. One of our seasonal businesses is technically closed right now, but we keep him employed earning money to go off to BYU-I in spring. He is the only active member in his family. It truly was the hand of Lord helping this young man get out on a mission without family support. His limited interaction with his family, with whom he lives, is being asked by his parents for rides home from the bar (designated driver) every other night. It is sad. So we support him even more because of it.
  10. If something really bad happened, and 'he told the Mission President', you would have heard. So, no reason "why" he wanted to extend his mission? I simply ask because if he was having actual problems during his mission, why did he request to stay there longer? Perhaps the actual problems or people he is trying to avoid are at home or in his ward? Who knows? ^^^agreed. Until then, it is a guessing game. Mental health, avoiding people at home/ward/past girl friend, faith crisis, abuse... is guessing only. IF you feel your back is against the wall you can always talk with the Stake President. Your son should have had an exit interview with him when he returned, plus he is local. He can not only give you advise, but help if there needs to be contact with the Mission President or better his last companion. Best Wishes to you @JKing
  11. Q: Though very limited, how were his 4x emails toward the end of his mission? Upbeat & positive? Depressed & negative? I would imagine if you were to go back and reread those 4x emails, you may be surprised at what you might notice now. Q: What reason did he give for extending his mission? Q: May seem odd, but did he ever make mention of a 'special' girl OR 'extra special' family on his mission?
  12. President Ezra Taft Benson, Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson shared: The path your husband appears to be going down now: How has this supposed 'revelation' impacted you, as his only actual wife? Q: Do you, as his wife, believe that our Father in Heaven (knowing all) would provide your husband such a 'revelation' given what it is doing to your marriage now? Q: Has the Spirit testified to you of the 'truthfulness' of said 'revelation'? If not, why not? Moroni 10:5 Why would our Father in Heaven give your husband a revelation that would drive this wedge between you both? A wedge that is sending him down a path of actual action, that if followed even further very well could destroy your marriage? The feelings you described are not the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith I agree with @Just_A_Guy, "makes me think there may be some mental health issues at play here."
  13. NeedleinA

    Impeachment question for experts

    Our salaries are better. Take that China.
  14. NeedleinA

    Unexplained Fatigue Leads to Hating Sundays? Anyone Else?

    Really, really old.
  15. I agree, this is frustrating, I've been in my own ward while this took place over a couple of months. The teacher is the key to keeping this in check. I've known several teachers who have been intimated by the vast 'knowledge' of the know-it-alls in class that they cave to them. The teacher regardless of their own gospel 'knowledge' can still develop the skills to reign in the class and keep it focused on the lesson while not letting the dominant personalities dominate. The supposed 'evidence' changes enough for and against that I hope no one has their testimony rooted in either. I watched an interesting TedTalk a while ago, Where are the baby dinosaurs? I appreciate the honesty in which Jack Horner, the presenter, admits how scientists, for so long, had the 'facts' so wrong on the different types of dinosaurs.