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Found 17 results

  1. so I have a question about the law of chastity and have looked around for several weeks now and I cant seem to find an answer to my question anywhere. let me start off by saying that I have never had sex or masturbated before, however a few months ago when I was alone I took actions that I aren't inherently sexual but I knew would cause a sexual response within me. at first I didn't really think much of it because it didn't evolve sex with another person, pornography or masturbation, it was just something I always wanted to try. Anyway as time went on I began to worry that perhaps I did break the law of chastity and just didn't know it at the time. over the past few weeks I have tried to find an answer to my question but no one else seems to have asked this question before. I also have a tendency to worry about things that aren't a big deal and get stressed over nothing. should I confess this to my bishop or am I being paranoid? Please know that I am being serious so please be honest. I'm 19 and single
  2. So my fiance has been struggling for the past few weeks with life and has been seriously contemplating suicide. So we did some stuff we shouldn't have. I thought it would help and it did. Is it wrong that I did it to save her life? There was literally no other option. I tried everything else but nothing worked.
  3. I'm an eighteen year old young woman and in the past got into a habit of masturbation, I've since stopped as I want to be worthy to serve a mission. I know that sins regarding the law of chastity should be taken to the bishop and it's not enough to simply stop committing the sin and pray to be forgiven of it, so I fully intend to go to my bishop about this matter not matter how long ago it occurred. However, as a young woman I feel extremely uncomfortable with the idea of blatantly telling my bishop that I've masturbated, no matter how much I trust him. Plus I feel, although I don't think this is rational, that people are more understanding of young men committing sexual sins and as a woman that it is much worse to have committed this sin. Do I have to explicitly have to tell my bishop that my sin is masturbation, or is it enough to tell him that I broke the law of chastity, but specify that I haven't had sex with anyone? Honestly the only thing that is keeping me from having this conversation with my bishop is the dread of having to explain to him that I masturbated.
  4. So the past two years I’ve broken the law of Chastity with 4 different guys... im really ashamed to say that but I need help. I went to my bishop about a year ago and repented for everything and I finished the repentance process. It was by far the hardest thing I’ve been through and it hurt so bad, I know my actions come with consequences, but because of that situation I’ve changed for the better and I’ve truly became converted to the Lord, and realized how important this commandment is. I’ve been wanting to serve a mission every since the age changed for woman. I still have about 2 years until I’m old enough to serve. My bishop said I most likely won’t be able to go and he didn’t give me much detail. It’s been killing me because I want to serve so bad. I made a very huge mistake and I’m scared it will ruin my chance to go on a mission. Please help and I’d appreciate no judgment because this is still very sensitive for me to talk about, thank you.
  5. Hi everyone, There are already some other threads on this topic but I thought I should create my own. I'm going to give as much background as I can in as few words as possible. I've been addicted to using porn as a sexual outlet for about 15 years now. I'm under the age of 30. I'm a convert, was baptized several years ago. I have gone through many resources that are supposed to help people with this - it's called sex/love/porn addiction, it takes various forms but it's not about the thing or even the sex as much as it's about the feeling of being aroused or excited and how this masks some other unwanted emotion. Here are some of the resources I've tried: Books like "The Porn Trap", written by two therapists. It includes a lot of helpful info. Attending SAA meetings when I lived close to a place there were meetings (now the nearest one is over 50 miles away from what I can tell, meaning I have to do these "online text" chat room meetings, which don't seem to help a lot) Attending regular one-on-one therapy with a Licensed Clinical Social Worker or Ph.D psychologist. My current therapist is a male Ph.D psychologist. I went through two female therapists, after telling them about this problem, they never looked at me the same and things just got too weird it wasn't helpful. Fortify is a 12-week long online course with info and tools to help overcome porn addiction. It also includes a "battle tracker" that lets you record you setbacks and victories, a really helpful tool. Using parental controls on computers I use. For a long time, I had my parents make a password that I wouldn't know. This didn't even help because I found ways around it that wouldn't trigger the controls. What I do for work now requires unrestricted access and I work from home most of the time. Telling people - therapists and family, to be specific. Huge mistake. They only judge and humiliate you. It's like a big joke. Trying to "fill the void" with healthy activities - musical instrument, video games, exercise, etc. It helps for a while but then the urge always comes back. Reading the scriptures, praying, doing everything that any online LDS resource I could find said to do. Also read through a "strength of youth" pamphlet I got when I was investigating. I haven't told my bishop and I never will. I can't tell anyone who hasn't struggled with this themselves or anyone I have to see on a regular basis because they will never look at you the same and will always treat you differently. Don't tell me my bishop is special and won't do that. None of this has worked. I've never been celibate for more than a few days or weeks at a time since I was about 8 years old. I was abused as a child (not sexually, at least not to my memory), bullied relentlessly from elementary school all the way through high school and college. There's no church support group in my stake, I went to it and no one was there. Support groups don't help a lot because I never know what to say - same thing with individual therapy. I didn't realize the law of chastity commands total celibacy (i.e., no masturbation at all) until recently. I'm pretty sure I don't have the capacity to endure that, not in this lifetime. I'll get into law of chastity discussions in other threads. For now, I'm just curious about how people seek help with this. Twice in my life I "hit rock bottom", in this context meaning that my body gave out and lost its libido for months, leading to temporary insanity and mental/spiritual crisis. The second time, I learned how real Satan really is. It manifested itself unto me in various ways and was terrifying, maybe I'll get into that in another thread sometime too. This addiction has ruined a lot of my life, I have little self-esteem and that creates so many problems. It also contributes to depression, I'm diagnosed Bi-Polar, see a psychiatrist who happens to be LDS. I haven't told him directly although I've hinted at it, but my guess is he will just tell me to tell my bishop. Not sure what I'm looking for in responses here. I know there's nothing that can help me, I've tried so hard for so long. I know something bad happens if I die in this current state, I can't explain how, but it's worse than what the gospel describes as Telestial. This has already gotten to be a huge post so I'm gonna end it here. Thanks for reading.
  6. So in church we had a lesson on chastity and why it is important to keep and during it i started to wonder if because I masturbate and look at porn does that break the law of chastity?
  7. Hello! So, I’m really struggling. My fiancé joined the church in November, and we are planning on getting married in May, just civily since he won’t have been a member for a year. We are struggling with keeping the law of chastity, and have gotten into a cycle that is proving to be hard to break. I feel hopeless, like change isn’t possible. I’m afraid that since we couldn’t wait for marriage, maybe it means we shouldn’t get married at all. We both know better, and we keep making the same decisions that lead us into situations that we don’t want to be in. I could really use some comfort and advice, and if anyone has struggled with the same issue, went through the repentance process and was able to be sealed in the temple, I’d love to hear that perspective. My fiancé and I so desperately want to get married in the temple, but it seems impossible after the mistakes we’ve made. If anyone has words of comfort, or advice, to help me remember why the law of chastity is important, please respond. Thank you.
  8. Hi all- hoping for some advice and I'll start with background info- I'm a new member that has struggled with the WOW and investigated the church when I met my BF(now husband) -When we met my husband also struggled with WOW and was a somewhat-repentant struggling RM. Basically I got baptized a year later and then we got civilly married. Once we were married it was hard, because my husband has been breaking the WOW while I was preparing for my baptism. So our problems stemmed from basically falling in love when neither of us were temple worthy. When we first started dating I was not a member and wanted to have sex with him, he caved in soon-so he had to repent for that and we stopped for awhile before we got married so he could Get back his priesthood. (Didn't have it before me for a little while-either) I didnt know about temple covenants and the importance of the law of chastity, WoW and the PH until I really started investigating before I got baptized. Flash forward and we have been married and we're both breaking the WOW for some time. Basically my husband is a good guy with a tough background and I'm also here as a result of difficult circumstances- but I just really really struggled. At the beginning of the year my husband started talking to his ex gf a lot because she broke the law of chastity and wanted a friend. But he had just finally started to clean up his act with the wOW and was waiting for me to do that too.. I've never been to the temple or gotten my blessing because I was just too sad and focused on our problems -didn't know to use the gospel to help us. And I think he was really depressed. Basically they started talking all the time and I found her to be fantasizing about my husband, literally. And meanwhile he wanted a divorce-but Didnt begin the process because he didn't have enough money to move out and his own car at the time. Blah. So I'm really being neglected at this point, ignoring all the guys that want my attention and I'm just having faith things will work out. He wasn't perfect but was expecting me to change instantly when I've already changed so much. The church IS for me and I'm a completely different person now- but obviously have a lot to do to improve my life. My husband is always mad, unhappy with me etc but uses me financially. I was too quiet about our problems in the beginning of our marriage, and now that he was really not approving of me, it was a little late to change his thinking about what he wanted. So he moves out on me finally before our one year anniversary and we keep fighting. he still needs me to take him to work, meanhwile he's emotionally invested in his ex gf and he repentance process trying to "help her" - but she as trying to visit him from out of state- coming to literally visit him only, and started telling him about her high sex drive and crap. Mind you- this girl is completely irrelevant to me, not cute and a total loser wanting attention- but I started to feel really angry that he was liking all her attention- since I was always focused on what I was doing wrong and not what he was doing to make things harder. So a few months ago I've been starting to move and I'm now out of state. I am here trying to get some space and hell myself by saving money. I visited him a few times and it's been good when I first arrive- but the closer I get To leaving town- he starts showing disapproval and how much he wants things to be over. I'm on a rollercoaster in our marriage. Always holding hope until recently- but now I'm mad I didn't just get an annulment. I love him more than anyone in the world and wanted to be sealed. It just has been tough for me as a new member never having the PH in our house and seeing how he handled things. I definitely should've just kept my baptismal covenants... but here is where my question lies. About 3 months ago (he moved out before this) I was visiting him, and was raped by a stranger. Long story but in the end, my husband ignored me and didn't talk to me for a month after that because of our marriage problems. He blocked me on Facebook too. That really hurt. Then he finally called me saying he had been praying, I went and saw him for 2 months and helped him with $$ and everything, but a few weeks ago when I was about to leave again, he started to be a jerk and saying he doesn't want to be married. I get out of town to where I'm staying and AGAIN he started ignoring me, going as far on thanksgiving to block me again on Facebook and then block me on the phone because I was telling him let's get this divorce- I don't want to be married to someone that doesn't know how to love uncondiontially when he makes mistakes and bad choices too. Basically im at a point now where I feel so far away from him and have no hope. We aren't in the divorce process yet because he's broke! So I'm stuck in this marriage and just decided last week to start hanging out with some guys and getting to know other people. But this guy ended up kissing me the other day and I'm really frustrated because I know I should have just been more careful and avoided being alone with anyone again. esoecially after having an adult male stranger sexually assault me months ago.. but I just wish that I had avoided that situation because even though nothing really happened I can feel that I don't want to be in that position again. I'm meeting with my bishop tonight. But I'd appreciate any insights into my situation and what to do. I want to stay married to my husband but he's just unhappy with himself so we aren't even talking. I feel alone and need to turn to God and get myself to the temple but it's definitely hard and I feel guilty for allowing myself to try hanging out with members of the opposite sex and not preventing an advance on me. I know from here I won't be spending any time with any men anymore, but I could use any advice and thoughts in this subject matter. Our separation has been going on for almost a year now but obviously there have been periods of trying to work on things and we have only been living separately for 6-7 months. Sorry for such a long story but this is hard- I love God and I just want a better relationship with him and myself. But don't know what to do about my marriage anymore. Stay strong and have more patience or push for the divorce to happen faster? Thank you for any input.
  9. My story is rather messy. To make it as short as possible, I dated a nonmember before my mission. We were very serious and committed, and eventually broke the Law of Chastity. I hid it because I wanted to serve and was too afraid of what people would think or the possibility of losing my relationship. Several months into my mission, she decides to end things, and I decided to confess my sins, since my hope of having both a mission and this sinful relationship ended. I am going to go back out once I finish the repentance process. We decided that meet up and see if we still have a future together. While we were together, she told me that she had lied to me about being a virgin when we started dating. She also said that she doesn't see a future with anybody else, and we agreed that now is not the time for us to be together, but that we still hope to have a future. Here's my dilemma. We got along so, so well, and I absolutely loved the time that we spent together. We were friends for a long time before dating, so I know that as people we are compatible, it wasn't just a summer romance. However, there are quite a few things that I'm scared of. She lied to me several times about things because she was afraid of losing me (her sexual history being the most severe). She's a nonmember with a fairly negative attitude towards the church. She wasn't the best at writing me while I was gone, and ended up developing feelings for someone else while we were in a relationship. She put that aside to see what would happen when I came back, and said that I'm the one she wants to spend her life with. But the more I think about it (and writing everything has made the situation seem really ridiculous), the more I think this is probably some distraction that Satan put in my path to stop me from reaching my potential. We plan on writing each other during my mission, but only letters, and only every other week. I feel horrible about breaking the LoC, and perhaps my biggest fear right now is I'm of the damage that my past could potentially have on my future marriage if it's with another woman. I still do love the woman that this happened with, but I fear there are too many red flags that have been piling up. At the same time, I'm scared that girls who have followed the commandments their whole lives wouldn't be interested in me. I'm hoping to figure out what to do by the time I end my mission, but in the mean time I'm curious what anyone else has to think about the situation? I have a narrow view that's very emotionally invested, and I would appreciate any outside comments or insights. Thank you!
  10. Before I begin, I feel a sense of urgency in clearly stating from the get go that I understand this is an incredibly sensitive subject, and I am fully aware that there are plenty of people who have experienced the heartbreaking situation I am staring at. To you and also to those of different perspectives, I ask that you take the time to read this post and make an effort to see my trial from both my perspective and from her's (especially those who have walked either side of this road before) and please provide any insight or help that you may feel inclined to offer. Anything will be appreciated. It is 2:58 in the morning, and I still cannot sleep. I have a job interview tomorrow but that does not worry me really, I am actually looking forward to it. The real reason that my eyes are still open is because I see her and her former boyfriends and I cannot help but wonder the details that would cut the wound in my heart deeper. She called me on the phone a couple of days ago to open up about her sexual history a little bit after I had mentioned my thoughts on and commitment towards the Law of Chastity. Our communication is limited to FaceTime, phone calls, and text right now because we are currently in different countries. She did not tell me the details but she told me enough to where I can make a very good prediction concerning how far she has been with a couple of guys. Let me rewind: From the moment we first met there was an instant connection. Things just felt so different with her. Natural. Calm. Comfortable. I have not felt this strong of a bond with any girl in a long time. And this could of course grow firmer with time. I appreciated her honesty in telling me a little bit of her sinful past before things with us get too serious. I have heard horror stories of spouses lying to each other about the depth of their sexual history in order to get married in the temple to their finance, only for the truth to eventually creep its way out and destroy their superficially honest marriage. My prayers go out to people who have been lied to or betrayed in that sense, I cannot even imagine the pain they must experience. How grateful I am to know she trusts me enough to divulge her darker secrets. She did so with a quaking voice and although I could not physically see her face while we talked, I was able to see her crying. She mentioned that she has repented of them and talked with her bishop to overcome these sins. She told me she finds my commitment to the standards of the church beautiful, and she told me she understands if I want to only marry a woman who has been as faithful to the Law of Chastity as I have. I told her thank you multiple times for sharing such private information, and that I would like a little time to just think. And thinking is what I have done, what I am doing right now at this moment, and probably what I will be doing until I come to some sort of conclusion. The story of the prodigal son has always been very hard for me to read. I feel like the son who stayed on the farm watching the celebrations from a distance. I have grown up listening to the apostles and following their counsel to the best of my ability. I haven't committed sexual sins (major or minor) even though there have been times when I was tempted. I'll be honest: part of me is wondering why I even tried so hard. Plenty of youth and young adults slip into sexual transgression and then repent and become wonderful teachers of the gospel and bear powerful testimony. All of them talk about how much they have learned and benefited from their mistakes. Like me, do you also think they get the best of both worlds? I do not fully understand the atonement, and maybe that is why I often feel jealous of those who rebel and come back. They experience the pleasure of the world and also know the redeeming love of the gospel at a level I do not. I recognize that this is my own problem and I need to change in this respect, but I cannot help but watch the arrival of my younger brother from a distance and envy the experiences and also the warm welcome home that accompanied his journey. Since my earliest recollection, I told myself that I would only marry a woman who has remained pure and virtuous sexually. I passed up opportunities to adventure off sexually and continue to do so with a rooted hope that my future spouse is doing the same. I told myself no matter what that if the woman I was planning on marrying or a woman I was getting very serious with opened up about a sinful sexual past to me, I would thank them for their honesty and walk away. I understand that they could be completely forgiven and clean, and I do not hold the sins against them or judge them. I simply have always wanted to marry a woman who is sexually pure. I loved the Lord even during my trying high school years enough to not walk down those promiscuous roads. There are plenty of great young women in the church who do the exact same thing. If a woman were to approach me and reveal her past like that, I would tell her that if she has repented sincerely that the Lord will not punish her. But I would emphasize that my reason for leaving is not out of anger but out of a loyalty to the sexually pure wife and future I have prepared for since I was a deacon first learning about the Law of Chastity. My father and grandfather both have told me they cannot argue with this desire, and have even applauded me for it. But they also told me that her sexual past should not be that big of a deal to me and that other factors such as her current commitment to the gospel are much more important. Maybe more years will bring me this elevated vision and healthier understanding. For now I still just worry and lament over this spiritual place I am in. I understand that she has fully repented. Is it unfair of me to leave? I think she deserves someone who will see her for the beautiful daughter of God that she is and not worry about her past. What steps do I take next? Is it out of line to ask her the exact details so I know the full picture as well as she can recall? I still really like her and want to continue our relationship, I still feel like we belong together. But is it fair to either of us? Am I wrong to think I deserve someone more sexually pure? Please help me. If you feel comfortable sharing your experiences by all means, please do.
  11. This seems to be a pretty common thread here. But none of them that I found were my situation. And I'm riddled with anxiety about this. I was raised in the church, not super strong, but i grew up going to church and never thought I'd be facing this trial. Never thought I'd mess up this badly. My boyfriend (convert) and I broke the law of chastity. We did not go all the way, but I don't know if that matters at all, we've gone pretty far. We haven't done anything in about six months now. And I want to get back into going to church, the problem is I feel guilty about being there. I feel unworthy. I know I need to repent if I want to marry my boyfriend in the temple someday relatively soon, and I do, more than anything. I'm scared of what my bishop will make me do, I don't want to sound whiny, I know this was my mistake and I need to take whatever consequences come. I'd just like to know what I'm in for. Will i be excommunicated? Will he make me tell my parents? (I'm 23) How long will we have to wait? (I know this depends on a lot of things but will it be a year or more?) I'm also petrified to talk to him, it's very embarrassing, and the fact I have to tell this middle aged man what I've done is hard for me to swallow. I know the bishop is there to help you along the path to repentance but part of me thinks that this should be just between me and God. Does that make any sense? Thanks for any help. I know this is a hard question to answer as every situation is different.
  12. Who would you marry? If possible give a reason why one over the other. Please presume you must choose. A "neither" answer is not an option. Choose one or the other. OK, Also presume you are in love with both of them, and you must decide. They are worthy priesthood holders, kind to children, old people, and animals. They love you, love your family, love the gospel. They are currently everything a woman could wish for in a man with the exception of the aforementioned "flaw" which they have separately disclosed. Now you must choose.
  13. Hello everyone, I have been extremely discouraged lately about my inability to get a temple recommend. Every time I get close, I shoot myself in the foot and ruin everything. I haven't held a temple recommend since I was 12, it's been 10 years. I work so hard to try to improve, but it feels like I'm spinning in a hamster wheel. I am engaged to a wonderful Mormon girl. We are both active in the church, and have been dating for 21 months. If I had a temple recommend, we would already be married. Unfortunately, I've been working through a 11 year porn addiction, which started at age 12. Through all the ups and downs, I've never given up. I recently have been getting closer and closer to a temple recommend. I've been "clean" for 2 months, which has been difficult and miserable, my withdrawals feel like torture. So being 2 months clean felt great, then I goofed up again. My fiancé and I got handsy, and engaged in in appropriate touching. Between my being clean for 2 months, the resulting withdrawals and cravingsfrom this insane addiction, and two sex-starved young adults, we just had one night where we were both very weak. Its important to note: we did not have sex. We did not touch front genitals. We engaged in other inappropriate touching (petting). Im terrified. Completely terrified. How will our bishop react? Ive been "clean" from my addiction for 2 months, and bishop wanted me clean 6 months. Will this recent petting transgression between my fiancé and I put us back at square one? Or can I hold my head high and continue to say, "I've been clean for over 2 months" and we will simply keep plugging along and trying to better ourselves? Just very worried this will delay our marriage plans even further. It's an awful feeling. Obviously we both regret what we did, and wouldn't do it again if we could go back and fix the mistake. Please, no judgemental comments. I've worked my butt off to fight off this addiction. Countless men inside the church struggle with it. We have been dating for 21 months. We broke down ONE night and engaged in petting. Don't judge. Most relationships in society have sex and sexual touching on the first date or within the first week of dating. We went 21 months without any of that, and still haven't had sex. We are active members of the church, and truly our trying our best to improve ourselves and stay strong together. Both of us feel a lot of pressure right now. Everyone keeps asking us when the wedding date is. It's my fault we haven't set one yet. This entire situation has already been extremely painful for me, and now this feels like another brick on the shoulders. I want a temple recommend, and I desperately want to marry THIS girl in the temple. I love her so much, we are the best of friends. That was a lot of talking and explaining. Ultimately my biggest question boils down to: Can I repent and get a temple recommend within the 2016 calendar year, between now and December 31st? Gosh I hope like crazy this process doesn't take longer than that. Since everyone is expecting us to set a wedding date soon, I would hate for us to get dragged through the mud and still not be married when 2017 comes around. Helpful comments and advice only, no judging. Thank you! GoldenOrange
  14. I was getting a massage on my back. It was a really good massage that released a lot of tension. The trouble is, I felt myself becoming aroused. I stopped the massage immediately because I was getting close to having an 'accidental discharge'. I'm not some perv, I just don't want to lose my worthiness over a back rub. Is that breaking the law of chastity? It might seem obvious to more experienced members, but I'm a newby. I'm kind of dissappointed because It was a great back rub and all.
  15. I go to a church university. I have broken the Law of Chastity. I only have one semester left and we are required to have an ecclesiastical endorsement before we can register for classes. My boyfriend and I want so badly to confess and make things right, but we're 80% sure we'll get kicked out of school. (We leave room for faith and miracles!) This will cost us lots of time and money since it's right smack dab in the middle of the semester. This isn't just a private thing between the bishop and us. It's everyone in our lives all becoming very aware that we broke the Law of Chastity and are kicked out. We'd have to move out and be outcasts basically. It sucks! Does anyone have any words of comfort? I hate life right now. I really really really don't want to lie to the Bishop. I never have, and I never intend to. Also, how bad is it to run away and elope? Just wondering. I'm almost 25 by the way. I know I sound like a teenager, but seriously I don't know what to do.
  16. I was involved with a guy who was not LDS, hI was completely oblivious to physical intimacy and inexperienced before I was involved with him and I started changing little by little, seeing myself drift from family, from church and the spirit. I am not blaming this on him whatsoever, but I am saying this could happen to anyone. I was involved in heavy petting and kept excusing myself and after a while the spirit withdrew from me. I am applying to college soon, I'm so guilty, when my stake president came to visit. I spilled my heart out to him because I had no one else to turn to. My father would be devastated and completely shocked to hear of my transgressions. I want to humble myself, but I don't know where to start. I was thinking of writing him a letter because I cannot seem to utter those words. Would he consider this as a bishop or as a father? If I told him at home, would he not regard my need to keep this matter private? Or would a letter be completely informal? I just don't know where to start. I really don't want to tell my whole family. My stake president told me I have to tell my father because I am applying to LDS colleges and there are two interviews and my dad needs to know about this. I want to demonstrate integrity, but I have no idea what angle to view it from. PLEASE HELP ME. I'm desperate for words of advice. I have no one to turn to
  17. I want to repent but I am so discouraged by it all. I can't seem to get it together on my own. My boyfriend and I were much too heavily involved. I've discontinued our relationship for the time being. I've spoken to my Bishop who told me what I need to do to repent. I know what I need to do but in trying to do that I don't feel anything. I don't feel any sense of hope, any sense of encouragement, any sense of an end in sight. What I do feel is that I failed and that perhaps I am not cut out for this gospel. I feel isolated and alone. I can't partake of the sacrament. I can't attend the temple. I can't serve in the church. I can't do anything that helps increase my testimony. I don't feel encouraged when I read my scriptures and I feel as though prayers can be quite empty. I've considered going back to my boyfriend. That way I don't feel so alone. I am starting to resent repentance. Ugh. Is there any support system in repenting?