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Found 17 results

  1. Hi everyone, There are already some other threads on this topic but I thought I should create my own. I'm going to give as much background as I can in as few words as possible. I've been addicted to using porn as a sexual outlet for about 15 years now. I'm under the age of 30. I'm a convert, was baptized several years ago. I have gone through many resources that are supposed to help people with this - it's called sex/love/porn addiction, it takes various forms but it's not about the thing or even the sex as much as it's about the feeling of being aroused or excited and how this masks some other unwanted emotion. Here are some of the resources I've tried: Books like "The Porn Trap", written by two therapists. It includes a lot of helpful info. Attending SAA meetings when I lived close to a place there were meetings (now the nearest one is over 50 miles away from what I can tell, meaning I have to do these "online text" chat room meetings, which don't seem to help a lot) Attending regular one-on-one therapy with a Licensed Clinical Social Worker or Ph.D psychologist. My current therapist is a male Ph.D psychologist. I went through two female therapists, after telling them about this problem, they never looked at me the same and things just got too weird it wasn't helpful. Fortifyprogram.org. Fortify is a 12-week long online course with info and tools to help overcome porn addiction. It also includes a "battle tracker" that lets you record you setbacks and victories, a really helpful tool. Using parental controls on computers I use. For a long time, I had my parents make a password that I wouldn't know. This didn't even help because I found ways around it that wouldn't trigger the controls. What I do for work now requires unrestricted access and I work from home most of the time. Telling people - therapists and family, to be specific. Huge mistake. They only judge and humiliate you. It's like a big joke. Trying to "fill the void" with healthy activities - musical instrument, video games, exercise, etc. It helps for a while but then the urge always comes back. Reading the scriptures, praying, doing everything that any online LDS resource I could find said to do. Also read through a "strength of youth" pamphlet I got when I was investigating. I haven't told my bishop and I never will. I can't tell anyone who hasn't struggled with this themselves or anyone I have to see on a regular basis because they will never look at you the same and will always treat you differently. Don't tell me my bishop is special and won't do that. None of this has worked. I've never been celibate for more than a few days or weeks at a time since I was about 8 years old. I was abused as a child (not sexually, at least not to my memory), bullied relentlessly from elementary school all the way through high school and college. There's no church support group in my stake, I went to it and no one was there. Support groups don't help a lot because I never know what to say - same thing with individual therapy. I didn't realize the law of chastity commands total celibacy (i.e., no masturbation at all) until recently. I'm pretty sure I don't have the capacity to endure that, not in this lifetime. I'll get into law of chastity discussions in other threads. For now, I'm just curious about how people seek help with this. Twice in my life I "hit rock bottom", in this context meaning that my body gave out and lost its libido for months, leading to temporary insanity and mental/spiritual crisis. The second time, I learned how real Satan really is. It manifested itself unto me in various ways and was terrifying, maybe I'll get into that in another thread sometime too. This addiction has ruined a lot of my life, I have little self-esteem and that creates so many problems. It also contributes to depression, I'm diagnosed Bi-Polar, see a psychiatrist who happens to be LDS. I haven't told him directly although I've hinted at it, but my guess is he will just tell me to tell my bishop. Not sure what I'm looking for in responses here. I know there's nothing that can help me, I've tried so hard for so long. I know something bad happens if I die in this current state, I can't explain how, but it's worse than what the gospel describes as Telestial. This has already gotten to be a huge post so I'm gonna end it here. Thanks for reading.
  2. prisonchaplain

    Temptation and Surrender

    During the song Satisfy, by Worshipmob, the singer breaks into prophetic wording, with the LORD declaring that he loves us in spite of our addictions. We all struggle against those, yet Heavenly Father loves us--loves me! It dawns on me that I struggle way too hard against my addiction--my sin. I strike a defensive posture, and gradually wear out. Then, the temptation comes at me and I am overrun. What if, instead of striving and fighting, I turned towards Jesus? Then, I could quit my battle and surrender. My Savior would then take my hand, and walk with me through my sin-lust, around my temptation, and He would deliver me from my sin. Yes, it's time to turn from my wicked ways, towards Christ--and surrender.
  3. Hi all! I've been married to my husband, and best friend, for 20+ years. The majority of these years he's been plagued by a pornography/sex addiction. In the beginning I tried to be supportive, I asked what I could do to help, etc., He said he'd get control of it himself. Little did I know, it was not something he could take care of himself. His addiction grew from viewing pornography occasionally, to viewing it daily, to eventually committing adultery with numerous women over the course of about 5 years. After I discovered this ( I honestly think he would have taken the secret to his grave) I became angry and separated from him. We have 4 kids, and I knew they needed their Dad, so I agreed to work on things, if he would get into intensive therapy. Well, he did! Yay! Things were looking up, and I was able to forgive and forget and we moved forward. Fast forward 7 years....things are getting bad again. He's having "slips" more often, and instead of being transparent with me, he hides it. I'm terrified. I put so much into getting this marriage "back up and running" and I feel like he's throwing it all away. I'm starting to fall into a depression, knowing I will NEVER be enough for the man I love. I try so hard every day to make him feel like #1-- I text him "love messages" throughout the day, give him my undivided attention when we're together, we go on weekly date nights, I fulfill his needs in the bedroom, but it will never be enough. He tells me I'm beautiful, but I no longer believe him. I'm sad, and I don't know where to go from here. He could get into therapy again, but we paid hundreds/thousands of dollars for therapy over the course of 3-4 years, and if he won't use the tools they taught him, it's useless anyway. Should I just end things?
  4. Coping is a sign of resilience, strength and hope. It’s a powerful mechanism for getting through a hard season of life. However, it’s no way to live. Coping ought to be a transitory stage, not a permanent circumstance. I can't cope! When we hear this—or say it—life is a mess! Often, something has been exposed: Alcoholism or drug use, an eating disorder, porn addiction, or even “chexting”—cheating by texting. We feel overwhelmed, and are tempted to give in. We may give ourselves over to the mess, badly abusing drugs, food, porn, or people. When the matter becomes desperate, suicide tempts our frayed souls. We may think that if we kill ourselves we will quit hurting others, and stop allowing the mess to control us. Realistically, many will die—fully immersed in their mess. Some will claim to have stopped the madness by killing themselves. Yet, they still die in their mess, and they still hurt the ones they loved. King Solomon proved his wisdom when he said: There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. Struggle demands that we cope so we can live with it. I want to cope. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, but I want to live! I want to control my drinking, my drug use, my eating, and my devotion to my spouse. Through coping I can say that I am okay. I know that I am an alcoholic, a drug abuser, an anorexic or bulimic, or one given to lust—whether by porn, or by illicit relationships. So, I learn to cope. For drugs and alcohol a may join an AA-type group, or even enter into a residential rehabilitation program, like Teen Challenge. Over time the temptation softens, but seldom leaves. Sometimes recovery meetings seem like the same old same old. Residential programs are strict and feel insulting—especially in the early stages. There is struggle. It is the same for eating disorders, porn viewing, and other sexual temptations. They all demand our time. They also impose controls, Arriving at the place of being able to cope seems like a worthy goal. After a tragedy, or after the revelation of a life-controlling issue, a loved one may ask how we are doing. If we smile and say, “I’m coping,” there is relief. However, if there is no known struggle—then what? If we just asked someone we care about how they are doing, and the response is, “I’m coping,” what do we think? Coping must give way to overcoming. It is not life, but rather the transition back to life. Alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, pornography, infidelity, and life-controlling issues will assail us our whole lives. If we overcome an issue, we will always have extra boundaries that help us resist relapse. We never get to say we beat the battle. Instead, we thank God daily for our victories. We celebrate them. Admitting struggle with life-controlling issues is necessary and important. Knowing the areas we must guard against is crucial. Humility towards past struggles is wise. Nevertheless, let us not be afraid to declare the win. Let us not live by coping, but rather cope, so we can live. When it comes to the temptations that come at us, 1 John 4:4 offers the conclusion to the matter: You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
  5. I recently married a non-member. He has been taking the missionary discussions and has even set a goal date for baptism. I can't tell you how thrilled I am! However, he is struggling in keeping the Word of Wisdom. Some background on us. I grew up in the LDS church but fell away for a period of years. During this time, I met my now husband, and while I wasn't keeping the Word of Wisdom myself very well, I couldn't very well be hypocritical and ask him to work on his problems, which were much more addictive than mine. We recently moved to my home town which has brought so many blessings in our lives. I found the church again and my conviction to be the best me I can be and strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father has been stronger than it ever had been growing up. And thankfully, my wonderful husband has begun to find the truth for himself as well. The missionaries that are helping us are fantastic and supportive and have guided us both into a better place. My husband had problems with alcohol and tobacco addictions, as well as growing up drinking coffee and tea. He has given up coffee and tea, and quit drinking. However, he doesn't seem to be trying to quit tobacco at all, and last night, while we were out with coworkers of his, he drank multiple beers. He knows my stance on these matters and I don't want to be the one that deters him from baptism by pressuring him, or making him feel like he must choose between baptism or tobacco and alcohol. Ultimately, he must, but I'm worried an ultimatum like that might be too much. One is easy, and the other is not. I love this man so much, and seeing how far he has come is incredible. I want to be able to help him with this step as well. I'm just so worried it will come off as nagging and not supportive. I've asked the missionaries to go into further detail about the Word of Wisdom at our next appointment in hopes that will inspire him, but don't know what else to do besides pray and love him and encourage him to pray, go to church and help him feel the spirit. I'm wondering if there is more I could be doing. Any advice or suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thank you!
  6. Can anyone recommend some quotes from the Book of Mormon or Bible that might strengthen someone who is fighting with addiction?
  7. helplesslywondering

    How do I bring this up??

    Alright, so I've set up an appointment with my Bishop for this Sunday. I need to tell him about my pornography addiction of almost 3 years (I am a teenage girl, by the way, so this is really hard). How do I bring it up once I'm there?? Please help
  8. fedwrongwolf

    Not sure what else to do. . .

    So, I've grown up in the church and have a strong testimony. I am 19 and have had plans of going on a mission for years, but for years I have been addicted to masturbation and porn. I have tried many times over the years and my record for stopping was about two months and that was around 6 years ago. my second best was one month and i did that last year. Most of the time it is a week to a week and a half of not viewing it followed by a few days to a week of viewing it. I have met with my Bishop many times and my stake president a few times, but there is only so much they can help with. We have decided that I could receive my patriarchal blessing after two weeks, the Melchizedek priesthood after a month, and submit mission papers after 6 months. Over the years my mind began to easily put all other thoughts aside and think about whatever thought is at the forefront. So, each time I'm trying to stop I easily put aside all other thoughts and begin down the wrong path again. I often am able to control myself from this one day, but the following day I just seem to give up the fight. I have realized that with most things in my life i just lack the proper motivation and perseverance. I always know what needs to be done but just can't bring myself to do it. I am just not sure how to go about this anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  9. SoCal_Counselor

    12 Steps of Recovery

    LDS Family Services runs an addiction support group that can be a wonderful resource to those struggling with any sort of addiction. You can find the nearest group by going to the new website LDS Addiction Recovery Program. These steps are also very helpful for those who need to go through the repentance process. Here is a link to the ARP manual. May the Lord be with you as you strive to overcome and heal from your addictions. Here are the twelve steps: Step 1. Honesty Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable. Step 2. Hope Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health. Step 3. Trust in God Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Step 4. Truth Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself. Step 5. Confession Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs. Step 6. Change of Heart Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses. Step 7. Humility Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings. Step 8. Seeking Forgiveness Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them. Step 9. Restitution and Reconciliation Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed. Step 10. Daily acountability Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it. Step 11. Personal Revelation Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out. Step 12. Service Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.
  10. This is my story... Well, Here I go. My problem started because I began to explore my body when it began to change. Ya, Puberty lol. I grew up in a family where we didn't discuss sex or anything related to sex. I think this can have a toll on a boy who is discovering new changes everday it seems like. See needless to say, I eventually "discovered" masturbation. Immedietly, I was guilt ridden. I didn't know it was wrong until about 3 years later, when I was fourteen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm on wikipedia, all this vast information and I'm curious what they have to say about the church. I see the law of chastitiy, wow, yep thats all bad stuff, I will never do that cuz I want to go to the temple. BOOM! It hit me, Masturbation is against the Law of Chastitiy. I couldn't believe it, this is terrible, I'm going to hell what am i going to do. What do you do when your are frantically worried about something like this? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERNET, because I cant go to my parents and I'm not sure if its serious enought to confess. Unfortunately, the Internet isn't the safest place to research masturbation. I came across the most disgusting things, but I could't find my own answer. I knew I wasnt supposed to look at nasty pictures so I tried to stay away from those, but I was curious, was I the only one going through this, my age my situation or even any boy our there. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So I look up masturbation stories, this took to a world of what i think is called Erotica. So I dealt with this problem for some time, I believe this made me feel guiltier. By the way, all this time I felt detached from the church, participating but I felt like my work was wrong because nobody really knew me. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I never did look at porn pictures, until I got a phone. A smartphone allows so much secrecey, and now I can look up all those questions that nobody can answer. I was curious, is my penis the right size, shape whatever. Guys, you know what I'm talking about, burning questions. So I look up pictures, and it seems wrong but not that wrong, I mean I have one of those so how bad could it be. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Internet, does in fact have an unlimited amount of pictures from people that are obsesed with their own bodies, guys for some reason love to take pictures of themselves. So I was exposed to all of this pollution to my brain. But, the Internet took it upon itself to go beyond just pictures of privates, It wanted to show privates together. So I was finally exposed to sexual situations. From there, it seemed to have just skyrocketed into a probem compared to my gradual exploration in my earlier years. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Summer, 2011. Im 16, we're moving and staying with relatives. I have nothing to do, nothing. So I look up porn on my phone. It was strange, I actually never used that word in a search inquiry, but I decided thats what I've been doing all along, why lie to myself. From their, ever since I "decided" that it was ok I guess, nothing was wrong to look up. Before, I would never look at actual nasty scenes but now, it's like why not. BTW, I didnt go to church during the summer, for sure this has to do somehting with it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anyway, Im 17, all my promises of stoping have been pathetic. But, I feel a tide turning, I had to tell this to someone. Even to all of you out there, no body I'll ever meet. I can't talk to my parents about anything, hopefully I wont have to. They call me the perfect son wayy to much, weird burden. But, the Bishop set up a meeting this Wed without me knowing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Any of you guys have advice for me? my meeting is tomorrow! What's your story?
  11. kenamety

    Helping children with addiction

    My 6-year-old daugther has been struggling with masturbation for a few years now. I have counseled, taught and helped her in every way I can think, but she still struggles with the addiction. Does anyone have any ideas of how to help her stop. I can find no answers anywhere else, because to the world, masturbation is accepted. Please help me. I'll take any advice I can get.
  12. lostintranslation

    Can I ever trust in a marriage again?

    Here's my background: Married at 19 in the temple to my exhusband. That night he brought pornography into the relationship, and demanded sex constantly. Hide his pornography problem on and off for four years. Decided he didn't believe in God, and stopped going to church...abused my verbally and sexually. I decided to leave him at 23 and divorced him over a year and a half ago. Now, to put it mildly, I am pretty traumatized about the whole marriage experience and have severe trust issues with men. I have been dating a wonderful, supportive man in the church for about nine months. We have talked about marriage (he is divorced as well), but I can't help but think that all guys' are addicted porn and will cheat on me. I am really trying to trust him, and want to be married to him! I just don't know how I can stop making myself think he will treat me bad as well once the ring is on the finger! Always being hypersensitive about it being and issue and checking for signs that aren't even there. Help! (
  13. With the latest understanding of how the human brain functions, we are ready to take the next step in the evolution of addiction treatment. The tools that have been developed are powerful and can increase the speed of change. We now understand how to increase the motivation and desire to change through neural reconditioning and consistent daily practice. For those who struggle with addiction issues, deep neural connections at the unconscious level are driving behavior. These neural connections can be changed is now sure. The brain is constantly changing and will continue to do so throughout life. You can read more on the Pornography & Sexual Addiction Group within this forum
  14. Letting everyone know! Please let all your Bishops, Stake Presidents, Seventies, family, friends et. know. I am so excited. InnerGold is going to be presenting about pornography and sexual addiction, in June, so still a little ways out but we want to get the ball rolling. It is not to sell their services, No! It is to help give ecclesiastical leaders instruction on how to handle someone addicted Pornography and Sex. Most leaders, counselors don't handle treatment of addiction the correct way. A lot of the time they tell you to just STOP, if an addict could they would. Nonetheless, the person walks out feeling good because they have just confessed. However, deep down the addicts brain is going into survival mode and essentially causing it to panic. The addicts brain has been trained to use pornography/sex to cope with Boredom, Loneliness, Anger, Stress and being Tired. The brain (specifically the limbic system, survival portion of the brain) starts saying no, no you can't do that, how will I help you to relax? We hope to give ecclesiastical leaders the training they need to start really helping people overcome this addiction. This is a huge battle and it is getting greater and greater so InnerGold is going to be very aggressive about education. P.S. This training will be for all denominations so if you know someone, please let them know. P.P.S The location, time will be announced later.
  15. New to LDS.net and was referred by a friend. I have seen pornography and sexual addiction take the toll on many friends and family so I have made it my mission to help people with these issues. I know that we all have talents that can bless the lives of others. I was called to serve a mission in Michigan. I was bummed! I wanted to go foreign. However, after going there I was blessed with the opportunity of touching the lives of many people because of my talents. I am so grateful my Heavenly Father was so much wiser than I was. Those same talents have brought me to a program helping addicts called, InnerGold. It is literally helping people throughout the world. Dubai, Ghana, throughout Europe, China, etc.. It is absolutely wonderful! The InnerGold system was written by Gordon S. Bruin. It was written after many late nights. He would try to go to sleep but couldn't. He would get up write what was in his head and then he could go to sleep. He has a testimony all his own about how he has written the manual. He wrote the manual with the focus of changing the world one person at a time. I have seen this program work miracles and that is why I have joined to champion the cause to help people long-term overcome their addictions. The Gospel is true! It has blessed my life in so many ways I could not count them. I know that there are people out there who are struggling with addiction and they have counseled with their ecclesiastical leaders and professionals but are not getting the help they need. Therefore, they think they are alone. They are not alone. Heavenly Father loves all of us, despite our follies but he has provided people with talents that can help. Don't ever give up! You can do it! We are all brothers and sisters.
  16. I'm not sure how to word this due to the fact that anyone can view this forum. I want to try to keep the topic G rated. Many of you know my situation that drove me away from the church. In 2007 I repented and made a full return to the church. I was rebaptized in July 2008. I plan to get my endowments this Summer. There are major issues such as same gender attraction & sexual addiction I deal with. For 19 months, I have had good progress in obstaining from the temptations. Well until, tonight. For the past few weeks my physical feelings have been very itense, especially while dreaming. The dreams are disturbing & I've discussed them with my Bishop. He really did not give much advice on that issue. Getting back to the issue I "took care of the strong urge". I was alone but used the internet in my action. In 19 months this was the first time I willingly did such a thing. after the act, i physically feel grounded again, but spiritually I'm confused. I do not want to get back into the old patterns. I do commend myself going 19 months. I don't see those 19 months as being wiped out and having to start over again. My addiction will be a life long issue. This was my first stumble since I took hold of the issue 19 months ago. How do I repent? If you get what I'm talking about, this issue could have gone much further wich would result in a more serious transgression. Married couples have each other. I'm unable to be married or have a partner. All I can do is bottle up my "feelings , urges" in order to remain worthy. In a "G" rated way of talking. What are some ways to help with the issue when it comes up again. It may be another 19 months if it happens again. I DO KNOW THROUGH THE ATONEMENT I'M FORGIVEN PROVIDED I TRULY REPENT. I do hold the priesthood and help with the sacrament. I want to continue to help serve others. Thanks for letting me write about this. I also apologize for those who may be offended with the subject matter.
  17. OneEternalSonata

    Friendship in my darkest hours

    I've been struggling with pornography, as well as masturbation, for the last couple years. I counsel with my Bishop about it, but would like for someone to talk with over IM on a fairly regularly basis. My church friends try to offer comfort and advice, but I think they are more bewildered than anything. Usually, I am the one they come to for advice. Therefore, I believe it would be beneficial to have someone online help me stay accountable and be there when I need someone to talk with. I'd prefer the help of an older LDS male. (I'm 23) I will eventually overcome this sin, of that I am certain, because I trust that my Lord Jesus will heal me. However, I know that requires my continuing valiance. If you feel willing to help me in this please feel free to PM me or post here.