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Found 19 results

  1. Just asking! It may be useful to pose these questions the other way around: If one is selfish, is that vice? If one is selfless, is that virtue? And what do virtue and vice have to do with sanctity and sin, anyway? Best wishes, 2RM.
  2. Ive been in a relationship for a while now and things have taken a different turn than I expected. I was born into in the church and faithfully go as often as I can. Im still young and living at home but I've always wanted to serve a mission. Ive always loved the church and believed everything about it but I struggle with staying sexually pure and resisting temptation. After repenting and talking to my bishop would I still have the opportunity to serve a mission? Ive yet to go into my bishop but feel great regret almost everyday. I know for a fact that I won't marry this man and I want my old life back. This is one of the worst decisions I've ever made in my life and I feel as if ill never be the same again because I have sinned so badly. I really don't know what to do.
  3. During the song Satisfy, by Worshipmob, the singer breaks into prophetic wording, with the LORD declaring that he loves us in spite of our addictions. We all struggle against those, yet Heavenly Father loves us--loves me! It dawns on me that I struggle way too hard against my addiction--my sin. I strike a defensive posture, and gradually wear out. Then, the temptation comes at me and I am overrun. What if, instead of striving and fighting, I turned towards Jesus? Then, I could quit my battle and surrender. My Savior would then take my hand, and walk with me through my sin-lust, around my temptation, and He would deliver me from my sin. Yes, it's time to turn from my wicked ways, towards Christ--and surrender.
  4. The article below is one I am considering posting on a professional social media venue. However, it is a sensitive subject, so I thought I would vet it here first. Thanks buddies! Kevin Caruso, of, says that since suicide is not a crime we must stop saying that people “commit suicide.” ( Is he right? What does it mean to say that suicide is not a crime? In the United States, suicide is not illegal. So, as a civil matter, Caruso is right. However, suicide is broadly considered sinful—a spiritual crime. Both Catholicism and Protestantism (especially more conservative denominations) call suicide “mortal sin,” or even “self-murder.” Islam and Judaism generally concur. Dharmic traditions (Hinduism, Buddhism, etc.) also consider suicide a negative and unacceptable act. Caruso dismisses all such considerations, and insists that, “Suicide is not sin!” ( Instead of saying one commits suicide, Caruso prefers “death by suicide." He says the former term must be expunged from our vocabulary, because it is insensitive and stigmatizing. No and yes. It is not insensitive to state what a person did. It may be disheartening and sad, but not insensitive. Is it not more thoughtless to remove the deceased’s sovereignty and volition, by making it seem that suicide is somehow visited upon them? On the other hand committing suicide brings stigma. They violate spiritual tenants, and they deprive loved ones of spouse, child, parent, or even lover. “Well, they must have been crazy, so it’s not their fault.” There is a measure of truth in the statement. 30-70% of suicide completions involve depression or bipolar disorder. Of course, this means that 30-70% do not. Even amongst those who suffer from mental illness, we wonder if disease forces them to kill themselves. How much of the act is uncontrollable and how much is choice? Nobody wants survivors to experience unwarranted guilt. Likewise, broad brush condemnations and shaming have no place in suicide-survivor counseling. Jesus warned us not to judge, and we do well to leave the assessing of departed souls to God. Still, should we not discourage suicide attempts? Alcoholics suffer from an organic predisposition to their addiction. Nevertheless, we condemn alcohol abuse, because we know it leads to impaired driving and to verbal, mental and physical aggression. Likewise, even though “committing suicide” is not a felony, we must continue to say that it is wrong, bad, immoral, and that it hurts survivors. The way to love sinners is not by dismissing the sinfulness of what they do. Instead, we love them for who they are. Then we encourage them away from self-harm and towards the better expression of their God-given potential.
  5. I'm dating a girl right now and have been for about a month. Things have been for the most part good and we have a ton of similarities that surprised me. My problem is that well we both have pasts, hers is just a bit darker than mine. She was completely inactive for a few years and in the past few months has gotten back into the church. She has really good intentions but is taking things kind of slow in the repentance process. She hasn't gone to the bishop for the drinking, drugs, and sex of this inactive period. For me, I've never had sex but close i guess but I repented of all that. Now though it just gives me the worst feeling in the world whenever I hear of something shes done in the past. I get that nothing will make her a virgin again so if we got married then it would be my first time and not her but it is just so hard for me to get over. How could I deal with possibly being compared to or reminding her of past boys... I never thought I would be with someone with this history and even falling in love with them. I just would like some advice on how to get over something that is as big to me as this.
  6. I'm getting baptised soon. Unfortunately, I've developed something of a crush on one of the missionaries. We're both the same age - in our late teens - and he just happens to be particularly good-looking. I've tried to not let it distract me during our lessons together, and I generally try to talk to other missionaries and church members during church events like the weekly sports matches, I try to talk to other people instead of him so that my crush on him doesn't serve as a distraction. However, when we're talking - such as when he's trying to teach me stuff during the lessons - I find it very difficult to look at him or maintain eye contact. I know such crushes are unlawful but I can't get rid of it. Any advice on how to deal with it? One of the annoying things about it is that I am asexual - I feel absolutely no desire to have sex with anybody - but I still get crushes on people.
  7. I have been pondering this topic lately and I thought someone might be able to share some scriptural evidence to shed some light. We came to Earth in part to receive physical bodies and to learn and grow, correct? How are we supposed to grow? We grow and learn through our trials (among other things). Because there is opposition in all things, good and evil, there must be evil in order for there to be good. If there was no evil, and no sin, how would we learn and grow? Wasn't that Satan's plan? So... how does that translate to the souls who will be in the Celestial Kingdom? How can we grow eternally if there is no evil and no temptation to sin? Will the knowledge we gain here on Earth be enough for us to grow eternally? What will be our challenge in the Celestial Kingdom? What will be our work? And if we have work, will there be laziness? From what I understand, there will be no evil or sin in Heavenly Father's presence.. so how will there be any growth? Will we be "good" or will we just be? Will the knowledge of evil and sin of those in the other kingdoms provide us with what we need to grow?
  8. There's a part of me that is deeply saddened. Ministers, deacons, and other clergy--and most likely bishops, home teachers, etc., as well, will have to resign their callings because they gave into the lure of sinful sexual encounters via a supposedly secure website. Similarly, there is an organization called The Clergy Project that aims to help religious leaders who no longer believe in God to transition out of spiritual service. On the LDS side, most here are well aware that there are organizations that aim to help LDS do the same (some Evangelical, others secular). What to make of these incidents? Besides sadness, part of me feels anger. How dare Satan and his minions target God's choice servants?! Then again, of course they do. And, here's the rub: If you engage in sexual immorality, or if you do not believe in God (or the church's doctrine), it is time to leave. Christian churches have ways and means of offering restoration/reconciliation, should that be sought out. However, step one is honesty. Such folk must leave. As believers what are we to do with this news? Pessimism? Cynicism? The better path would be to fall to our knees and intercede on behalf of those who lead us.
  9. There is a person in my life that is struggling with their sin. I know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that He suffered and died for all mankind. The Atonement was needed so that man could return back to our Heavenly Father. (2 Nephi 9:7) I know that we are free to act for ourselves, we have the choice; everlasting death or everlasting life. There are some sins that are truly personal. After reading the New Era Magazine, October 2013 article titled, "Why and What do I need to confess to my bishop?" I am having a hard time understanding the reason why the priesthood is needed in the repentance process. I understand what we must do as children of God. “…consists in believing and accepting and living in harmony with all that the Lord once offered his ancient chosen people. It consists of having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, of repenting, of being baptized and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and of keeping the commandments of God. It consists of believing in the gospel, joining the Church, and coming into the kingdom.” (A New Witness for the Articles of Faith [1985], 515). I was not raised in any church and converted 18 years ago. During that time I have not been very active from the fear of my lack of knowledge. Just in the past couple of months have I really started to understand. In praying about this situation I have been led here to seek help from other members that may have faced the struggle of repentance of a serious sin.
  10. Perhaps the best answer to those who choose to live in sin, and loudly proclaim, "God made me this way!" is to ask, "Which is more important to ask, how you were made or WHO made you?" If the latter, then instead of insisting that our current status is optimal, maybe we should look to the Maker's "original factory settings?" Those can be found in The Instructions. And yes--they are included.
  11. I've been masturbating and been watching pornography for the past 5 years of my life. It's been horrible and hard to stop and I've talk to my bishop so many times! Well, my old bishop was retired from it and now I have another bishop. It's been embarrassing going Sunday after Sunday with interviews with my bishop and not being able to partake of the sacrament for ages, and I literally mean it. I don't remember the last time I took it, or the last time I went to the temple! I feel like an outcast at church, and I feel ashamed when people have been asking me when will I serve or bless the sacrament. The guilt never has left, and I stop for days, weeks, or some few months and then go back. I'm 17 and I started when I was 12, and I want to serve a mission bad!!! I've looked for advice, I've prayed, but now I need physical help as well as spiritual. If anyone wants to give me advice or knows of a program to help cop please reply! I am desperate to be worthy again, and I miss that blissful feeling of being clean and pure of heart. I pay my tithing, I attend church services and worship my God, but I believe there is more to stop this sin. Please help....
  12. Everyone always says you go to hell if you commit suicide. But I really don't understand why that is. I mean... Punish someone because they are so sad that they don't wanna live anymore? Or because they kept trying to think of reasons to live and they couldn't find any? I mean even here on earth, we tend to give these people therapy, rather than throwing them in prison. I just don't understand why in heaven, its not also understood that such people need help more than punishment.
  13. i have heard there are people called to do disciplinary hearings who decide whether you should be excommunicated. i struggle with this because Christ wants us to come closer to Him when we are lost. He will go out of His way to find us and embrace us when we repent and come to Him. when a group of people wanted to cast the adulterous woman out or stone her, He chastised them in a way and brought her close and forgave her, for He knew her heart. in John... "8:10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? 8:11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." additionally, are these people really that far gone that they cannot change or be worthy of the sacrament unless they choose to be rebaptized? what about disfellowship? can they really not be trusted to simply lead a class in prayer or hold a calling? they can't renew their baptismal convenants by taking the sacrament? don't we want people to be with Heavenly Father, even if they have sinned? that is when they should be even closer. that is when Jesus wants us to come to Him. any insight?
  14. Hello, I'm 18 at the moment and I live in mapleton ut. (10 mins south of provo) I fell away from the church when I was 15. Due to family issues.. I have been a good person and have made mostly good desicions except for a problem with two young women I felt horrible and did not do anything of the sort again. Untill My senior year of high school my best friend died in a car crash and i was the driver. I soon after got a girlfriend she is a awesome child of god and beautiful young lady. Me and her dated for quite awhile and because of that got very close. We made some big mistakes and had sexual intercourse. The relationship ended and I'm stuck here now. And just tonight I was with a friend wjo has been making some wrong choices and it hit me really hard that that life is not me and I refuse to be apart of it... And the spirit hit me hard... And I feel like I need to go on a mission... Is it even possible for me to go...? I would love some help... I simply can't wait for Sunday for some input... :s
  15. I go to a church university. I have broken the Law of Chastity. I only have one semester left and we are required to have an ecclesiastical endorsement before we can register for classes. My boyfriend and I want so badly to confess and make things right, but we're 80% sure we'll get kicked out of school. (We leave room for faith and miracles!) This will cost us lots of time and money since it's right smack dab in the middle of the semester. This isn't just a private thing between the bishop and us. It's everyone in our lives all becoming very aware that we broke the Law of Chastity and are kicked out. We'd have to move out and be outcasts basically. It sucks! Does anyone have any words of comfort? I hate life right now. I really really really don't want to lie to the Bishop. I never have, and I never intend to. Also, how bad is it to run away and elope? Just wondering. I'm almost 25 by the way. I know I sound like a teenager, but seriously I don't know what to do.
  16. I have been disfellowshipped for over 2 years now, wow I hadn't even realized that until today.... I have never lost faith in the church, and I continue to live righteously in nearly all aspects of my life, with the exception of one: I have committed the transgression that initially caused my disfellowship repeatedly since my initial disciplinary council. I have felt great shame and disappointment in myself about this, and I would stop if I felt that such an action wouldn't drastically disrupt my life as it exists currently. I will add that my transgression is not illegal nor socially unacceptable. I need badly to be attending church, I know that nothing will change if I do not start attending church again. I have moved and am no longer in the same ward I was in when I had my disciplinary council. I want to begin attending church, but I am not ready to discuss anything with the bishopric of my new ward (I haven't met them since I've never been, so it's not a matter of being uncomfortable, I'm simply not ready to go back to the issue). I have avoided returning to church because I know that since I'm continuing to commit such a grevious transgression, I don't feel worthy of being there. I am afraid that if I return, I'll be forced to meet with the bishopric, I'll be forced to undergo another disciplinary council, which would result in excommunication. This terrifies me, and has been the motivation behind my not having felt the spirit of the Lord in His house in over a year. I want so desperately to resume attending meetings, and it's more important now than ever because I'm planning to marry the man I'm dating. He is not a member of the church however, and has had no exposure to it to date. I need to be coming to church, so that he can come and feel the spirit and decide if he wants to join the church. But I'm so scared to go myself that I can't really ask him to go either. I want to know if I can attend meetings without having to speak to the bishopric about my transgression right now. I have no intention of letting it continue for forever, because I want to feel the blessings of being a member in good standing of the Church again, more than anything. I just am not ready to face it yet, but I know that avoiding going to Church will never bring me closer to facing my problem. Can I go and just attend the meetings, or will I have to talk to someone about my membership status?
  17. My 6-year-old daugther has been struggling with masturbation for a few years now. I have counseled, taught and helped her in every way I can think, but she still struggles with the addiction. Does anyone have any ideas of how to help her stop. I can find no answers anywhere else, because to the world, masturbation is accepted. Please help me. I'll take any advice I can get.
  18. I have sinned in the past with my last boyfriend. Things that I try to forget now and have repented for and such. Now I have this incredible guy. He's exactly what I always wanted in a guy and we've only really just started dating, but things are going really well. He doesn't know about my past sins, but he told me he broke up with a girl because she had "gotten frisky" with her last boyfriend (not actually had sex, and neither had I) so he couldn't bear the thought of her comparing him with her ex and felt like she was unfaithful to him even when she didn't know him. He also said he'd rather not know about stuff like that. "Ignorance is bliss". So I feel like crap, obviously. I mean, I totally forgive myself, but I feel like I can NEVER tell him about what stuff I've done in my past now. So when you're married, can you keep a secret like that forever? And does it matter? The funny thing is that he has way more relaxed boundaries than I do as far as dating. I keep my boundaries super tight now after discovering how quickly one can fall into temptation. But with his past girlfriends, he has had them in his bedroom in his bed to cuddle, and makes out a lot, and doesn't care about curfew (we're at a church school so this is all against the honor code). He just doesn't understand how easily people fall, and the power of the atonement I guess. I mean, I'm actually a really great person. I don't consider myself a slut at all. I just messed up and I totally admit that. Do you think he would be right to dump me if I would ever tell him that I had some sort of sexual experiences already with someone that's not him? Is that reason to not marry someone over? I really want to marry him because he's seriously amazing. Such a sweet guy. Do you think I can hold that secret for the rest of my life?
  19. My boyfriend and I can't seem to stay worthy long enough to get recommends. But we don't want to just get married civilly because that's more of a cop out. Because yes, a year after a civil marriage you can get married in the temple. But there's no real "repentance" when you can have sex every day without guilt, you know? This has been going on for like 2 years. We've been dating for 3 years. We just can't stay worthy for more than like 6 months. For the past year and 3 months we've only messed up 3 times with "petting". but i mean, we've never gotten our temple recommends because we were waiting for a year for something else. Doesn't it seem hard to postpone marriage for worthiness while being extremely tempted with someone you have been dating 3 years? Does anyone know what it's like? How can we just freaking stop sinning so that finally we can just get married like we've wanted to all along?!!! It's like doubly hard. An uphill battle, it feels like. BTW, I've gone to my bishop quickly for each of these offenses. And I pray every night and read scriptures and such. Bonus question: Is it possible to run out of second chances? Cuz I've been to my bishop a lot since I keep repeating my offense. Although I am getting better overall. Will it ever get to a point when I will no longer be eligible for eternal life and those things? I'm 22.