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  1. so I have a question about the law of chastity and have looked around for several weeks now and I cant seem to find an answer to my question anywhere. let me start off by saying that I have never had sex or masturbated before, however a few months ago when I was alone I took actions that I aren't inherently sexual but I knew would cause a sexual response within me. at first I didn't really think much of it because it didn't evolve sex with another person, pornography or masturbation, it was just something I always wanted to try. Anyway as time went on I began to worry that perhaps I did break the law of chastity and just didn't know it at the time. over the past few weeks I have tried to find an answer to my question but no one else seems to have asked this question before. I also have a tendency to worry about things that aren't a big deal and get stressed over nothing. should I confess this to my bishop or am I being paranoid? Please know that I am being serious so please be honest. I'm 19 and single
  2. Hello. Yesterday I went with my bishop to have an interview about things I did wrong a few weeks ago. I was expecting to be asked to tell him everything I did in detail, but I wasn’t. I only said a few things, expecting my bishop to ask for more information about every activity I did, but instead, he focused on listening to my testimony and my feelings towards the Savior in my situation. I know I feel fully repentant of my sins, I have felt sorrow, prayed a lot, said sorry to the person involved and was willing to confess everything in detail, but the bishop didn’t request that, nor went further in wanting to know what else I had done. He determined I was worthy to keep taking the sacrament and going to the temple. I feel happy about it, but at the same time I wonder if it was wrong not to tell him all the sinful activities I did. It wasn’t because I didn’t Want to, it was just that he didn’t ask for more. Should I go back and tell him absoultely everything to make sure I am really worthy and fully repented? One of my friends told me some bishops just focus on the testimony and repentance of the person rather than past actions, and to just move on, but I Still feel unsure and I don’t seem to find any in depth information from the Church about this. I’m grateful in advance for any insights.
  3. Hi all, So some context then the question. I have been inspired that I need to write a book about my life which is intended to be faith prompting. My life experience is one that everyone says "you should write a book about your life." So, I felt like I should. Although I'm in my early thirties this book would be intended to help younger LDS youth and adults understand that there is always hope and a choice to be made when it comes to having and nurturing a testimony. Just because you get sent home from your mission and then disfellowshipped doesn't give you license to go inactive or give up. You know, a tale of that sorts. Because in my book I would be discussing my own life and some of the sinful aspect of my past, I was wondering how I should deal with this issue. For example, when I saw 17 years old myself and my LDS girlfriend had LoC challenges. Since I would not be anonymous in my book many people could figure out who she was. To be clear, my aim in this text is not to "get even" or "out" anyone, only to discuss how you can turn your life completely around and achieve all levels of success even after being a "sinner." It is a uplifting book but I don't want to shy away from how far of the path I went. Any insight into these matters would be appreciated.
  4. A situation I've been pondering about recently... A story to relate. Many years ago there were three friends. We'll name them Larry, Curly, and Moe. Larry had a terrible grudge with Curly. A girl that Larry had been dating broke up with Larry and started to date Curly. Larry planned to kill Curly and did so in front of Moe and others. He basically beat Curly very badly and later on Curly died of these injuries in the hospital. Larry was sentenced to life in prison. To this day, Larry refuses to admit guilt. He has always stated he is innocent and played no hand in Curly's death. So, here's the dilemma that I have tried to figure out. Moe has, in their mind, forgiven Larry. They've tried to say they hold nothing against Larry, but they WANT Larry to pay for the crimes that he committed. He would like Larry to simply admit that he did wrong, and that Larry should try to go through the repentance process which includes admission of guilt, asking for forgiveness, and trying to do what they can to repay what was lost. Larry has always pleaded innocent. Moe is very disturbed by this. He feels he has forgiven Larry, he has visited Larry in prison, and even tried to help him in various prison costs and other areas. However, he still very much wants Larry to admit guilt. That Larry does not do this makes Moe WANT Larry to do it even more. Thus, Moe feels like he has forgiven Larry, but he's not sure. This is because Moe cannot forget what Larry did. Instead of forgetting it completely, he wants Larry to admit what he did. He is willing to see Larry as his friend still, and do what he can for him, but he cannot simply include the forget portion in forgiveness. To do so before Larry has repented would be wrong and do a disservice to Curly's memory. However, he states he has forgiven Larry, tells Larry he has forgiven him but feels he needs to pay the price for the crime, but he still loves Larry as a friend. So, this would be Moe's question, has he forgiven Larry? Then we add another complication to the story. Larry was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His son is also a member of the church. Larry has been excommunicated. I do not see him ever being rebaptized in this lifetime. His son wishes to know what happens to the children born in the covenant. Who will they be sealed to? If their father is irreparably done and never going to be able to qualify for the Celestial glory, what happens to the sealing covenant? Larry now falls in the boundaries of a Bishop and has both of these talking to that Bishop about this. What type of things should the Bishop tell them? Should he simply refer them back to their own wards, or how should the Bishop deal with these types of questions? Of more direct relation, when faced with unrepentant individuals who will continue to do the sin or hurt you, when you forgive, how do you know if you've actually forgiven them? Even if you try with all your heart, when the hurt continues, even if you say and try to act as if you've forgiven them, the hurt continues. How do you know that in your heart you have truly forgiven them and when is it enough? Just a pondering of mine.
  5. Hi, I have older sister but because i head of my family I always when I go to visit I speak with them about the church. I have older sister I speak to her about she should go back to church and she told me she would like to be active member again but she do not want to repent break the law of chastity. Because she say it will for her be like regret having her son and she doesn't so she said it will be not genuine repentance because she doesn't have regret for it. i try explain to her she don't need to regret having her son to repent but i didn't do a good job. Can you tell me how you explain this please?
  6. My wife and I were good active Mormons having a great life. Eventually life took its toll. I lost 4 jobs in the space of 5 years. We moved into a ward that didn't care for our family or several high school age children. We could not meet our needs and were falling 15K into the hole every year. I am now headed for bankruptcy, and foreclosure. Our life in the bedroom was pathetic no passion no nothing. This was mostly because I had major knee surgery on both knees and it completely hampered sexual activity. All praying seamed to not help anything. On top of that both of our fathers and my wife's best friend died. All within a relatively short time. At the brink of filing for bankruptcy a recruiter called me for a job that would pay 2x what I was making and it would have basically save us from financial ruin. I had a priesthood blessing and the whole family prayed for me to get it, how could I fail. I nailed every interview and had great discussions and now it was close for the final decision. What I received devastated me with a cold email back saying sorry but we have decided to go with another candidate. Nearly immediately after the email, my current employer asked me to go overseas to work with some clients which was completely out of the blue which I had never done. I was to travel for over 1 month. Of course when i was there I was surrounded by sexual temptations as I was put in a hotel in the heart of this activity. So I went out and had a massage, nothing sexual but near erotic and they offered many other services which I said no. I called my wife and told what I had done and it didn't bother her at all!. Instead she was aroused by it and told me to go again and try those other services and find some passion. I struggled with this and eventually with her basically giving me a hall pass, I went. You can pretty much image what happened next. I committed adultery many times. With each time telling my wife the details and thinking she was living vicariously thru me. I have never done anything like this in my life but the passion and energy I could feel was unstoppable and thoroughly enjoyable. My spirit and guilt never showed up. As it turns out near the time I was to return home. My wife told me before I started to sin that she went to a bar picked a guy and had sex! She explained that it was the best sex she had in a long time. It didn't hurt me at the time because I had the same thing. Keep in mind that nothing like this ever took place in our lives before the previous month. This explains her trying to entice me to do wrong from the first call we had about this. It was almost like eve tasted the apple and now she wanted Adam to partake because of Satan's enticing's. Basically all the recent life experiences we had had up to this point broke and beat us down where we didn't care anymore. Eat, drink, and be merry right!. Oh yeah and my wife took up drinking alcohol too. When I got back I told her we need to repent of our ways and focus on fixing us regardless of how hard our life is. Well, we never repented, instead we added watching porn in the bedroom to supplement. That eventually only helped me. I enjoyed it and it restored some passion but for her not as much. This dragged on for 5 months which I got addicted to. My work then advised we need you to go back for another month. I said to myself, well here I go again, and my wife was telling me to go enjoy myself how ever I wanted, hall pass number #2. So As you can expect I had sex, well I should say paid for sex and each time telling my wife details since she liked it. I kept asking her if she was cheating on me too and she never said she was. When I got back we hugged each other, appeared to really miss each other, and I said this time we need to repent. She advised you can but I am not ready yet. So I said I can't unless we both go together so we never went. We stopped going to church to mostly not take the sacrament, but nobody in the ward really cared we were gone anyway. By this point she was going to happy hour every week. Fast forward 4 months and I am getting very suspicious of her and the way she is acting. I even told her I don't recognize you anymore. She said she had lost all feeling and didn't really care about anything. She did still say she loved me very much and would never cheat on me. On a couple of occasions I felt a burning sensation that she was cheating on me. Like the holy ghost or something was prompting me that she was cheating or too find out. I confronted her several times but she always denied it. Then one night i basically had a revelation or something that there was no doubt she was having an affair. I then confronted her and she broke down and told me that she met the same guy 2X while I was oversees and had sex. I felt relieved but not hurt since she said she broke off the affair when I came home. Well It gets worse. My promptings/intuition came back and I felt something still wasn't right. So I went to happy hour where she says she is and I wait. Sure enough as I expected, she comes out of happy hour and gets into another vehicle. The vehicle drives to a nearby empty lot and i follow. I wait 30 minutes and I can't take it anymore. So I walk up to the vehicle. The lights turn on and it peels out. Eventually the guy drops her off somewhere and she calls me to pick her up. Ugggggh!!! As you can expect I lose it and now I feel hurt, pain, betrayal. Lots of tears, a hard time sleeping, and going back to work. I thought her affair was over as mine surely was when I came home and I wanted to fix things. I love her deeply and she has committed to ending the affair after that night I caught her. In all honesty I think she really wants to this time. She has committed to stop happy hours too. I think she really loves me deep down for the 20+ years of marriage but its hard to tell exactly. She has been really nice to me and telling me shes sorry but still has no emotions and shows no remorse (IMO). She says something is biologically wrong with her and needs help from all the pain of life, finances, deaths, and lack of marital passion. I am a wreck because she was having a continued affair (10 months), she lied many times when we were together while I was being honest. Yet in the back of my mind I cheated too so why should I judge. She still doesn't hold that against me. So from here, we just started meeting with the bishop and soon the stake president and therapist. We need a lot of help. I am wondering if I should stay with her or leave. I think I should stay because I do love her but I know I would rather not be alone too. We are both messed up but the pain of her lying and the images I have catching her in the act are too great right now. I know to be Christlike I should stay and work it out but that is only if we are true and dedicated to each other from here on. Advice? be gentle....
  7. Hello! So, I’m really struggling. My fiancé joined the church in November, and we are planning on getting married in May, just civily since he won’t have been a member for a year. We are struggling with keeping the law of chastity, and have gotten into a cycle that is proving to be hard to break. I feel hopeless, like change isn’t possible. I’m afraid that since we couldn’t wait for marriage, maybe it means we shouldn’t get married at all. We both know better, and we keep making the same decisions that lead us into situations that we don’t want to be in. I could really use some comfort and advice, and if anyone has struggled with the same issue, went through the repentance process and was able to be sealed in the temple, I’d love to hear that perspective. My fiancé and I so desperately want to get married in the temple, but it seems impossible after the mistakes we’ve made. If anyone has words of comfort, or advice, to help me remember why the law of chastity is important, please respond. Thank you.
  8. So I’m an RM (Returned Missionary) and I served a wonderul mission, I know this church is true with all of my heart but I commited sexual sin prior to my mission. What will happen now when I confess.
  9. I shared this story in fast and testimony meeting today, so you guys get the benefits of a second draft, so to speak. I've had this couch for a while, more of a loveseat, really and over time it has literally fallen apart. (I wish I had taken a picture of it, so you could see how utterly broken this couch was.) It looked okay on the outside, comfortable even, and I thought it fit decently with the decor, which is saying something because I have an "inherited dorm furniture" look going. In fact, it was a pretty nice couch when I bought it. But, like I said, over time it became pretty awful. My roommates had been ploppers, another roommate's nephews were rough on it, it had been moved three times. We had even applied the plywood (well, reinforced cardboard) under the cushions trick. Eventually, I referred to it as my "pajama pants" couch: good enough for me around the house, but I wouldn't expose it to the public. Because I was familiar with where the frame and supports were broken, I knew how best to avoid getting bitten by the springs. The frame was so broken, if you sat in it just right (or just wrong), a piece of splintered wood would poke out the back through a hole the size of a tennis ball. But it looked nice, and everyone who saw it assumed it would be comfortable. To be honest, it had been a rather nice couch when I got it almost ten years ago. However, it had become a nuisance, and even unsafe. I felt an urgency to get it out of my life. I asked around about how to get rid of a couch I didn't even feel comfortable donating. "Put it on the curb," was the most popular answer. Except, I didn't want to do that. Mainly because I didn't want my landlord to see it and decide it was a misuse of the property. I'm on his good side, and I would most definitely like to stay there. I eventually had to call in the priesthood. My branch president and his 15 year old son took it from my living room to their truck and then to the dump for me. Before they arrived, I took the cushions out to the dumpster and paid them the fees from the dump this morning after church. When I came back to my living room, I noticed how much more open it was. I felt like doing a cartwheel, and probably would have even had enough room to do one! (I'm five foot even, so don't need much room.) I was amazed at the joy that I felt from that couch finally being out of my life!! So it goes with major sins. They start off pretty nice, but over time, they become an irritant to our spirits and chip away at the joy. We come to a point where we recognize we need to do something about it. The world will have one answer, but the best answer is to call upon the priesthood of God. A few months ago, I had a lamp I also wanted to get rid of because it had stopped producing light. I was able to get rid of that myself, but the couch required me to call in the priesthood. I still had to do some work, in terms of taking out the cushions before and paying the dump fees after, but it was something I could not get rid of on my own. I encourage you, if you have any unsafe couches in your life, to give your priesthood leader a call and ask him for help to get it out.
  10. About 10 months ago I had to wait to go on my mission due to some violations of the law of chastity. I recently found out that after a year of waiting, I should be able to find out when I can go again. In about 2 months the priesthood authorities and I will submit our letters to the mission office. My question is, does anyone know how long it should take once those letters are in to hear back from the mission office? I've heard of it taking a very short time in some circumstances, me in others, several months. I'm just curious to know if I should be returning to school in He meantime, if I should start buying stuff and packing now, etc. Thank you in advance!!
  11. Hey guys and girls. so i want to start with some background story...i started dating a girl right before my mission (when i already had my mission papers) and had sex with her. unfortunately and regretfully served more than half my mission before i really felt a connection with my Heavenly Father and could no longer disappoint him, so i returned to repent. While i was on my mission that girl i had sex with got baptized, she was told she would not have to repent of her sexual transgressions because she was not a member and when she was baptized she was washed clean. a year has gone by and that girl is now my fiance hooray, BUT we started having sex, and she feels so terrible. our wedding is scheduled out for a year and we havent done anything for a couple months (staying clean) but she comes to me saying she has nightmares of Heavenly Father crying next to her. I FEEL TERRIBLE!!! HOW COULD I?! HOW?! I lead somebody so pure to this...We both want to talk to the bishop and are getting to it, but it never seems to happen because she believes there is a possibility i could be excommunicated...i guess my question here is: Will i be excommunicated for having sex with her????? I CANNOT live without this gospel, i dont want to leave and be frowned upon by my family and friends. i love this girl so much and i am just scared and i just need to know what will happen to me
  12. A little background before I start asking questions. Starting in late 2014 until the spring of this year, I wrote a 50 Shades of Grey type erotic novel with a friend I met online and we even published it through Amazon. I didn't start coming back to church until this September and I felt promptings/a deep longing to return to the temple after the talks I heard at this past stake conference. I immediately scheduled something with and sat down with my Branch President(we're a small community here, so, that's why not a bishop) and I worked something out with my friend so that we could completely take the book off the market. I've been working with my Branch President for the past 2 months going through the repentance process. I've recently become aware of my own behavior and the ways that I might have been muddying the spiritual waters so that answers to prayer and guidance was not clear, just through simply watching media that does not invite the spirit with a "one foot in and one foot out" mentality. So, maybe answers will become clearer to me as I ponder and pray now as I strive to more consistently keep the spirit with me but I felt prompted(as a part of this cleaning up where I hang out and what I consume process) to seek an lds themed forum and it occurred to me that I could also ask for a bit of help here. So, for the longest time, I've been struggling with godly sorrow and feeling ashamed of what I have done but since it was something I put creative effort and work into, I found myself struggling with residual pride in the completion of this book. I've just recently come to a better, deeper understanding of the eternal perspective and I am going to follow this trail to hopefully understand more about the nature of what I have done. I'm not trying to rush Heavenly Father but moreso I'd like to be an active participant in this process, as I feel like I've been sitting back and waiting for forgiveness to come and checking in occasionally, "Am I ready?" A lot of my personal revelations thus far have come from perspective shifts and hearing things in certain ways that helped a concept or doctrine "click" for me, so, I am looking for that. To read some scripture or some talk or ensign article that will make the light click on for me to realize the true nature of sin, in particular mine, and how I can truly be sorry for it. I want to let it go, to know that it is truly forgotten, to move on and move forward but I want my efforts to be genuine. I'm the type of person that if I can't come to this proper perspective shift and feeling, then this will continue to haunt me as something unfinished. I will wonder, "Did I actually get forgiven or did I just give myself a check mark because I wanted to move onto the next thing?" So, I have the gospel library on my tablet and I would like to know are there any scriptures or talks that helped you gain a new perspective on repentance? Are there any good talks that struck you as insightful/helpful in understanding this process? Have you been through this process before? Are there any words you could offer? I'm still working with my BP on this and as I mentioned, cleaning up the things I occupy my mind with so as to better hear the HG if/when it comes to me. But I also don't mind the extra reminders.
  13. I'm a convert to the church and got endowed just over 2 months ago. The temple and the covenants I made there are super important to me, I live really close to two temples and go do at least one session every week. Since my endowment I have felt the temptations I face deminish and I feel like I can endure so much more. However, recently I did slip and give way to temptation and broke the law of chastity (alone). I felt guilt immediately and have prayed for forgiveness and strength. I NEVER want to feel this low again, my resolve has strengthened and am confident that I will not succumb to this temptation again. Is this something that I need to talk to my bishop about if it is an isolated event? How do I approach this topic with my bishop if I do need to talk to him?
  14. I'm a convert to the church and got endowed just over 2 months ago. The temple and the covenants I made there are super important to me, I live really close to two temples and go do at least one session every week. Since my endowment I have felt the temptations I face deminish and I feel like I can endure so much more. However, recently I did slip and give way to temptation and broke the law of chastity (alone). I felt guilt immediately and have prayed for forgiveness and strength. I NEVER want to feel this low again, my resolve has strengthened and am confident that I will not succumb to this temptation again. Is this something that I need to talk to my bishop about if it is an isolated event? How do I approach this topic with my bishop if I do need to talk to him?
  15. This is my story. I have never told a soul. I am american. I was baptized at 8 and served a faithful mission at 19. Sealed in the temple to my wife and sweetheart at 21. Four wonderful children and many years later, my life began to come unraveled. I had for years, secretly been viewing pornography. A problem I simply couldn't admit to. Sixteen years into our marriage my wife had an affair. I was hurt, devastated even.. Together we went to our Bishop. I, at the time being the second counselor in that Bishopric. There I confessed to him my problems with pornography and she admitted her affair. We were both placed on informal probation and released from our callings. Some six months later when the Bishop and Stake President were comfortable that our repentance was complete we began again to take the sacrament and again became members of good standing. However, a couple of years later and I found myself again struggling with the same problems of pornography. I admitted my problem to my wife who was very angry.. She accused me of adultery by saying that pornography was the very same thing. To bolster her accusations of adultery she pointed to the fact that previously she and I had received the same church discipline when she'd committed adultery and I had looked at pornography. Within a few months I noticed some odd behavior and some marks on my wife's breasts.. After some arguing she admitted she was again carrying on an affair with another man. She claimed I had pushed her to it with my viewing of pornography. We again went to our Bishop and Stake President. My wife was excommunicated from the Church and I was placed on formal probation. We worked hard to go through the repentance process. A year and a half later she was again readmitted into the church through baptism but our lives were never again the same. She never forgave me and never apologized to me. As the years went by I continued to struggled off and on with pornography and I suspected at times, that my wife continued to be unfaithful. But I loved her and I felt guilty for what I had been doing. I had finally admitted to myself that the pornography and her adultery amounted to the same thing. So I didn't make waves. One day I began to be investigated for pornography at work. Because I was a high ranking police officer, the investigation was outsourced to the Attorney Generals office to see what laws I might have broken. Through the long and embarrassing investigation, they interviewed my wife, neighbors and my friends. There were questions of everything from pornography to physical abuse and abuses of power. In the end my wife hated me. In a fit of rage told me that she hadn't loved me in years and admitted that she was again having an affair. She said that it was all my fault..She said that if she had married a better man she would have never done these horrible things..I agreed..I was so humiliated.. and so embarrassed, and I felt so guilty.. I was fired from my job.. In disgrace.. Hearings were held to remove my nearly thirty year pension.. I lost all sense of self respect.. My parents, my friends and even my grown children found out. Rumors were running wild at church and in the community. I despised myself. I became self destructive, and suicidal. I felt that even Heavenly Father had abandoned me. I truly felt that I could never be forgiven for what I had done to our family and the pain I had caused them and my good parents. I went to the Bishop and Stake President and again confessed everything. But I found no peace.. no solace.. The Stake President said they could not begin a Church Court until the investigations were completed by Law Enforcement and that would be months.. I knew I could never recover what I had lost. I wanted to give up and just die.. I wanted to run away from everything. In the midst of the pending divorce and all the my troubles, I did just that. I gave power of attorney to my wife and daughter to handle the divorce as they saw fit and I bought one way ticket to Central America, and I left. I hated myself. I had so much pride that even then I couldn't humble myself. I couldn't pray. I couldn't ask for help because i knew I didn't deserve help. I wrote a letter to SLC to the First Presidency renouncing my membership in the Church. I still believed in the Church, but I knew I didn't deserve to be a member. I didn't see a way to go through the church court process in a foreign country and I wanted that stress over. I began to abuse alcohol and drugs.I had no real fear of anything. I just didn't care anymore. I hoped I would go to sleep and not wake up. I committed many sins and transgressions. I had no friends. I struggled in a new culture, and a new language and a lack of money, in a very dangerous and unknown country. I met a kind and beautiful younger woman. She took pity on me and took me in. She smiled, and laughed a lot. She was worried that I was headed for disaster. I told her I had already been there. Over time I learned to understand and to speak Spanish from her. She believed in me. She taught me about the culture, about corruption, about Cartels. She taught me to live safe..and she taught me to dance. She gave me hope and a reason to live, to feel needed and to feel cherished. I tried to tell her of my history but she told me she had no interest in my past. She tried to convince me that I was the answer to her prayers. That the Lord had sent me to her. She had been in four marriages, all of them abusive and violent. Together, her money and mine, we purchased a small non functional shrimp farm in the jungle near the southern border of Columbia and very near the Coast. A beautiful, wild and dangerous place. No electricity, and no roadways. We accessed the farm in canoe via the river. Traveling to the farm only when the tide was rising and leaving only when the tide was ebbing. It was a hard life with dirt floors and mosquito netting. Bathing and doing our laundry in the river. We married, I attended Mass in a nearby pueblo with my new wife and her children often, but I simply could not find the peace there that I so desperately needed.. In time I began attending an LDS branch an hour and a half away from the farm by bus. Soon after, my wife began attending with me as it was unsafe for me, a gringo, to travel alone. At the Church, the branch members met in an upstairs apartment and treated us with much care, kindness and love. I felt peace there as we sang hymns and listened to the speakers. On Sundays we often attended mass together and then attended the LDS branch after. Some weeks we could not attend depending on the hour of the tide. After many months of this, my wife lost her desire to attend early morning Mass and only attended the Branch with me. As the years passed, we sold the farm on a contract for a modest profit and moved to the big City. There I began donating my time teaching English and we have begun a non profit sewing organization to benefit women's hygiene. Here we again began attending a ward together with our children. The Missionaries came to our home and taught our family the Gospel and nearly two years later, the family was baptized. Excepting me of course. It feels awkward at times, them being members and me not. And yet I do all I can to lead and teach them with much love and in righteousness. I am happy again. I accept my life for what it is, and I accept my place in it. I have lost whatever pride I once had. I am still sorry for my past but I no longer mourn for what I have lost. I have no ill feelings toward my ex-wife, in fact I still have feelings of love for her and I sincerely hope for her, much happiness and joy. I do not dwell in the past nor do I have lofty dreams of the future. I live for today and it is enough. For the first time in so many years, I am at peace. I know that God is mindful of me and always has been. He has blessed my life even when I was so undeserving. The collapse of my life those years ago was not the condemnation of God, but was simply the natural reaction of the choices I had made. A reaction I had brought upon myself. I have become convinced that the Lord helped unite me with my dear wife. She is an incredible blessing in my life and she tells me daily how fortunate she is to have me in hers. I don't know the future but I think there will be many more blessings ahead. I do desire to be re baptized. The Stake President has directed me to send a letter to the First Presidency when I am ready, requesting re admission into the Church. He has assured me that when I do, he will also send them a personal letter of support. I simply want to be completely worthy when I do. The Stake has tasked me with teaching English to members in the Stake who desire to learn and I am very happy to serve however I am able. I know I am not alone having such problems stemming from pornography. I hope that with this letter, someone else may be helped and not have to suffer as I have rather than finding help and turning things around. However bad things are, they can, and probably will get worse if you don't change. Please, put your pride aside and make the necessary changes before it's too late. If you are an addict, you can't do it alone. I have never written about my story or told it to another soul. It feels good to have told my story at last. What a horribly... beautiful tapestry... our journey through life makes!
  16. I'm dating a girl right now and have been for about a month. Things have been for the most part good and we have a ton of similarities that surprised me. My problem is that well we both have pasts, hers is just a bit darker than mine. She was completely inactive for a few years and in the past few months has gotten back into the church. She has really good intentions but is taking things kind of slow in the repentance process. She hasn't gone to the bishop for the drinking, drugs, and sex of this inactive period. For me, I've never had sex but close i guess but I repented of all that. Now though it just gives me the worst feeling in the world whenever I hear of something shes done in the past. I get that nothing will make her a virgin again so if we got married then it would be my first time and not her but it is just so hard for me to get over. How could I deal with possibly being compared to or reminding her of past boys... I never thought I would be with someone with this history and even falling in love with them. I just would like some advice on how to get over something that is as big to me as this.
  17. Hello everyone, I have grown up in the Mormon church my whole life, but feel the need to get clarification about the Plan of Salvation. I'm confused by the concepts of eternal progress and eternal damnation, as I do not fully understand them. My current level of understanding feels those two concepts contradict each other. I've heard that we learn more about the plan of salvation in the temple, but I should point out that I haven't been to the temple yet. On one hand, people say the gospel is a gospel of progression, and after dying some will have the opportunity to receive the gospel and live in the celestial kingdom, even if they were not church members or not righteous while here on Earth. But the scriptures always talk about eternal damnation, hellfire, and say that misery is eternal. So which is it? Will all people receive the opportunity to learn, grow, and progress in the afterlife, or are some people eternally stuck in the lower kingdoms? Eternal damnation is a very confusing concept for me. Is it true that many people will be stuck where they are, miserable and not able to progress? Ive always felt like ALL or a majority of God's children should be able to repent, progress, and turn to God again in the afterlife, even if it takes some people longer than others. Shouldn't the end goal be for ALL or a significant majority of God's children to end up in the Celestial Kingdom? Yes, I know everyone has free agency. I have heard many people will choose to reject the gospel even after seeing it in heaven. But I feel like anyone in heaven who chooses they want to accept the gospel and work towards repentance should have that opportunity, right? I've heard many people say that church members who don't live the gospel here on earth won't have the opportunity progress later in heaven. This seems contradictory to the concept of eternal progression. Thanks for for helping me to learn more about this gospel concept. GoldenOrange
  18. Hello everyone, I have been extremely discouraged lately about my inability to get a temple recommend. Every time I get close, I shoot myself in the foot and ruin everything. I haven't held a temple recommend since I was 12, it's been 10 years. I work so hard to try to improve, but it feels like I'm spinning in a hamster wheel. I am engaged to a wonderful Mormon girl. We are both active in the church, and have been dating for 21 months. If I had a temple recommend, we would already be married. Unfortunately, I've been working through a 11 year porn addiction, which started at age 12. Through all the ups and downs, I've never given up. I recently have been getting closer and closer to a temple recommend. I've been "clean" for 2 months, which has been difficult and miserable, my withdrawals feel like torture. So being 2 months clean felt great, then I goofed up again. My fiancé and I got handsy, and engaged in in appropriate touching. Between my being clean for 2 months, the resulting withdrawals and cravingsfrom this insane addiction, and two sex-starved young adults, we just had one night where we were both very weak. Its important to note: we did not have sex. We did not touch front genitals. We engaged in other inappropriate touching (petting). Im terrified. Completely terrified. How will our bishop react? Ive been "clean" from my addiction for 2 months, and bishop wanted me clean 6 months. Will this recent petting transgression between my fiancé and I put us back at square one? Or can I hold my head high and continue to say, "I've been clean for over 2 months" and we will simply keep plugging along and trying to better ourselves? Just very worried this will delay our marriage plans even further. It's an awful feeling. Obviously we both regret what we did, and wouldn't do it again if we could go back and fix the mistake. Please, no judgemental comments. I've worked my butt off to fight off this addiction. Countless men inside the church struggle with it. We have been dating for 21 months. We broke down ONE night and engaged in petting. Don't judge. Most relationships in society have sex and sexual touching on the first date or within the first week of dating. We went 21 months without any of that, and still haven't had sex. We are active members of the church, and truly our trying our best to improve ourselves and stay strong together. Both of us feel a lot of pressure right now. Everyone keeps asking us when the wedding date is. It's my fault we haven't set one yet. This entire situation has already been extremely painful for me, and now this feels like another brick on the shoulders. I want a temple recommend, and I desperately want to marry THIS girl in the temple. I love her so much, we are the best of friends. That was a lot of talking and explaining. Ultimately my biggest question boils down to: Can I repent and get a temple recommend within the 2016 calendar year, between now and December 31st? Gosh I hope like crazy this process doesn't take longer than that. Since everyone is expecting us to set a wedding date soon, I would hate for us to get dragged through the mud and still not be married when 2017 comes around. Helpful comments and advice only, no judging. Thank you! GoldenOrange
  19. Read this great article on faith and grace, etc. It helped me in my ever ongoing quest to increase my understanding of faith and other related topics. It also addresses some of the conflicting ideas I've seen expressed here in this forum. So I thought I'd share it for discussion and enlightenment purposes. It's a bit of a read, but well worth it.
  20. There is a person in my life that is struggling with their sin. I know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that He suffered and died for all mankind. The Atonement was needed so that man could return back to our Heavenly Father. (2 Nephi 9:7) I know that we are free to act for ourselves, we have the choice; everlasting death or everlasting life. There are some sins that are truly personal. After reading the New Era Magazine, October 2013 article titled, "Why and What do I need to confess to my bishop?" I am having a hard time understanding the reason why the priesthood is needed in the repentance process. I understand what we must do as children of God. “…consists in believing and accepting and living in harmony with all that the Lord once offered his ancient chosen people. It consists of having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, of repenting, of being baptized and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and of keeping the commandments of God. It consists of believing in the gospel, joining the Church, and coming into the kingdom.” (A New Witness for the Articles of Faith [1985], 515). I was not raised in any church and converted 18 years ago. During that time I have not been very active from the fear of my lack of knowledge. Just in the past couple of months have I really started to understand. In praying about this situation I have been led here to seek help from other members that may have faced the struggle of repentance of a serious sin.
  21. I'm doing this cause I absolutely have no one else to talk to!! I just got home from a mission about 6 months ago! I was so excited and happy for the wonderful mission I had served and to be back and start a wonderful life! Instantly I started to have serious problems with anxiety and depression!! So bad I was almost hospitalized!! It crippled me!! During this time I got a girlfriend who is amazing! She is a member of the church! She had some struggles in the passed and was married but got a divorce and has a child!! So she had already been sexually active. As we started dating everything was fine but my anxiety got worse and worse!! And with that the only thing that brought me joy was being with my girlfriend so we got very close and in an effort to feel some happiness cause I was having such a horrible time I messed up with the law of chastity!! So we started to do everything but intercourse! And now as time has gone on my anxiety and depression has died down but I still mess up once in a wile pretty bad with this girl and I feel horrible! I beat myself up every day and I don't take the sacrament on Sundays and I feel like the worst person in the world!! My dad asked me to give my little sister a blessing and I couldn't cause I knew I wasn't worthy to do it!! I hate myself for it! But it was the only thing that brought me spite joy when I was in hell! My anxiety was so bad I couldn't even pray!! Now I am scared to talk to a bishop and I'm wondering if I just stop and repent and help my girlfriend too that we can be happy and just forget about it!! Please help if you have any suggestions! thanks
  22. I am in need of some advice. Please bear with me: My wife was sexually abused as a child around the age of 9. (26 years ago )Her mother had four children early on in life and her husband left her with the kids and never was in there life again. Her mother ended up getting married to a guy that had 4 of his own children. (his immediate brother went to prison for raping his own kids...) I don't want to go into details about the sexual abuse that the new dad was committing with my wife, but from what my wife tells me it did not include intercourse, it was more get naked and lay with me naked.... a lot of touching going on.... After around year he came to my wife and she was crying and she told him that she didn't like what he was doing. He told her he wouldn't do it again. He told his wife what had happened and he apparently went to the bishop..(has had several callings since.. scouts, primary this normal) No one in my wife’s family knows what had happened. Fast forward to when me and my wife first met. She told me about what had happened and that she had forgave him. We had a pretty rocky relationship when we were dating and at one point her parents didn't want me around.. I confronted him at that time and he claimed that he had repented and everything is ok now. I also told my wife’s brother what had happened to my wife when she was younger. Her brother talked to my wife and my wife denied that anything had ever happened. Fast forward to this last Christmas... we had a family Christmas party at their house and he starting getting very political and saying things like Obama is the anti-Christ and that the government was going to come to our houses and take all of our guns…etc. All of his children have listened to this there whole life. They feel very threatened of him... no one ever disagrees with him. It is sad to say that none of his kids talk to him they only go around for the mother. I had had enough and I engaged into his conversation and started proving him wrong... The room went silent... No one could belief that I had stood up to him and told him he was wrong.. Needless to say I haven’t spoke to her mom or dad since. I am having a hard time with what had happened with my wife while she was younger now that my 4 girls are getting older. My oldest being 11. I told my wife that I was concerned that I didn’t want them to be around her parents. Her mom and dad live 2-1/2 hours away... we see them 2-3 times a year.... her mom just called and wanted to see if our oldest daughter and her cousin could come stay at their house for a week this summer. I told my wife there was no way I would let this happen. She told her mom that we didn't feel comfortable with that. The issue of being sexually abused came up in conversation with her mom and her mom stood up for her husband telling her that he was heavily medicated when he abused my wife and that he was sorry that he had done it 2 times with her and that he repented for it and was good to go... when my wife got off the phone with her mom.. I said wait a minute.. 2 times. and my wife said that is not what her mom meant.. I told her yes she meant it. So she called her mom the next day and said what do you mean 2 times it happened for years.. Her mom said "well if he did that it is not ok" “but he was sick and he warned me to keep you away from him” and left it at that. Now her mom is coming out for the weekend and wants to see us and go to church with us like nothing has happened. My wife does not like her dad and wants to continue having a relationship with her mom. I feel that her mom is just as responsible for what had happened... Help me understand that my thinking of not wanting anything to do with her parents is normal. Help me know if it is fair to me that my wife’s other brothers and sister let their kids be around him alone not knowing of the things that he had done with my wife. My wife doesn't want her family torn apart and says that I am doing this because of the fight that I had with her dad during Christmas time. And maybe I am Help!!!!!
  23. Can you be forgiven twice for the same mistake? I am so ashamed of myself that I can hardly talk about this. I was born into the church but my family has been inactive my entire life. When I was only 12 I was in the worst surrounding possible for temptation. And I ultimately broke the law of chastity, I did not want to but things just happened, I was young, impressionable, and scared. I felt so guilty and empty and cried myself to sleep often. After that I made the decision to become active in the church even if my family wasn't and found rides every week. Finally I went to my bishop and fully repented Nd was forgiven of my sin and peace was restored to me. But here I am, 7 years later. I had become inactive for the past 9 months. I stayed strong against any temptations for a very long time, but things slowly started creeping in little at a time, and before I know it I am rationalizing things that I would have normally said no to. Long story short... I broke the law of chastity again. I wasn't thinking! I didn't even want to! I made him stop and was/still am disgusted and ashamed and mad at myself beyond words. I am so upset and distraught. I can't believe I have done something so terrible as to repeat a horrible sin. I have every desire to do right, I am reading scriptures again, and going back to church. But I am afraid to confess my sins a second time! Is it possible to be forgiven again for this same sin? Is it too late for me? Am I ever going to be able to marry in the temple? Help!
  24. I'm a girl, 18 years old. My first time masturbating I was in 8th grade. It has gradually gotten worse. but i had a boyfriend last year and we messed up and did things we shouldn't and broke up because we couldn't not do stuff when we were together. I repented of those things me and my ex did to the bishop. Also to add the bishop is my father. So once we broke up It was hard not to have urges to want to masturbate. I usually go a few weeks then the temptation arises again. I just want to change. I know I have to repent, but it's my dad I'm telling and how do I tell him I have a problem with masturbating? How would I say it? I know I need the guidance I'm just beyond scared to admit I'm a girl with a problem most girls don't have. I feel disgusted with my self that I've let it go so far. I just need help. So my question is how do I tell my bishop I have a problem with masturbating? What context would I use? Am I the only girl struggling with this?
  25. I've been having the same problem for 2 years now and I've always felt very guilty about it. I always managed to repent but it sneaks up on me again, and again. I've always been able to feel Godly Sorrow but now I can't and its killing me, I can't find the guilt anymore its gone. I feel nothing now, no guilt, no regret. But I know I should. I know other people have probably had this problem before and I know the process how it gets harder to repent each time but this time it feels impossible. Can anybody Please help me feel guilt and regret again? And especially Godly Sorrow which used to hit my like lightning striking me and humbling me before god.