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Found 12 results

  1. My husband was excommunicated a few years ago. Has since been re-baptized and is waiting to hear back on his blessings being restored. We had a baby after he was rebaptized but blessings had not been restored. We’re told our son is not born in the covenant and needs to be sealed to us. I’m really confused as to why that is because I have kept my covenants. Shouldn’t my son be sealed to me? It feels as though my son and I are being punished for my husband’s transgressions. And what would happen if my husband decided he didn’t want to be a member of the church anymore. My son would never be sealed to me, nor would our future children?
  2. This is my story. I have never told a soul. I am american. I was baptized at 8 and served a faithful mission at 19. Sealed in the temple to my wife and sweetheart at 21. Four wonderful children and many years later, my life began to come unraveled. I had for years, secretly been viewing pornography. A problem I simply couldn't admit to. Sixteen years into our marriage my wife had an affair. I was hurt, devastated even.. Together we went to our Bishop. I, at the time being the second counselor in that Bishopric. There I confessed to him my problems with pornography and she admitted her affair. We were both placed on informal probation and released from our callings. Some six months later when the Bishop and Stake President were comfortable that our repentance was complete we began again to take the sacrament and again became members of good standing. However, a couple of years later and I found myself again struggling with the same problems of pornography. I admitted my problem to my wife who was very angry.. She accused me of adultery by saying that pornography was the very same thing. To bolster her accusations of adultery she pointed to the fact that previously she and I had received the same church discipline when she'd committed adultery and I had looked at pornography. Within a few months I noticed some odd behavior and some marks on my wife's breasts.. After some arguing she admitted she was again carrying on an affair with another man. She claimed I had pushed her to it with my viewing of pornography. We again went to our Bishop and Stake President. My wife was excommunicated from the Church and I was placed on formal probation. We worked hard to go through the repentance process. A year and a half later she was again readmitted into the church through baptism but our lives were never again the same. She never forgave me and never apologized to me. As the years went by I continued to struggled off and on with pornography and I suspected at times, that my wife continued to be unfaithful. But I loved her and I felt guilty for what I had been doing. I had finally admitted to myself that the pornography and her adultery amounted to the same thing. So I didn't make waves. One day I began to be investigated for pornography at work. Because I was a high ranking police officer, the investigation was outsourced to the Attorney Generals office to see what laws I might have broken. Through the long and embarrassing investigation, they interviewed my wife, neighbors and my friends. There were questions of everything from pornography to physical abuse and abuses of power. In the end my wife hated me. In a fit of rage told me that she hadn't loved me in years and admitted that she was again having an affair. She said that it was all my fault..She said that if she had married a better man she would have never done these horrible things..I agreed..I was so humiliated.. and so embarrassed, and I felt so guilty.. I was fired from my job.. In disgrace.. Hearings were held to remove my nearly thirty year pension.. I lost all sense of self respect.. My parents, my friends and even my grown children found out. Rumors were running wild at church and in the community. I despised myself. I became self destructive, and suicidal. I felt that even Heavenly Father had abandoned me. I truly felt that I could never be forgiven for what I had done to our family and the pain I had caused them and my good parents. I went to the Bishop and Stake President and again confessed everything. But I found no peace.. no solace.. The Stake President said they could not begin a Church Court until the investigations were completed by Law Enforcement and that would be months.. I knew I could never recover what I had lost. I wanted to give up and just die.. I wanted to run away from everything. In the midst of the pending divorce and all the my troubles, I did just that. I gave power of attorney to my wife and daughter to handle the divorce as they saw fit and I bought one way ticket to Central America, and I left. I hated myself. I had so much pride that even then I couldn't humble myself. I couldn't pray. I couldn't ask for help because i knew I didn't deserve help. I wrote a letter to SLC to the First Presidency renouncing my membership in the Church. I still believed in the Church, but I knew I didn't deserve to be a member. I didn't see a way to go through the church court process in a foreign country and I wanted that stress over. I began to abuse alcohol and drugs.I had no real fear of anything. I just didn't care anymore. I hoped I would go to sleep and not wake up. I committed many sins and transgressions. I had no friends. I struggled in a new culture, and a new language and a lack of money, in a very dangerous and unknown country. I met a kind and beautiful younger woman. She took pity on me and took me in. She smiled, and laughed a lot. She was worried that I was headed for disaster. I told her I had already been there. Over time I learned to understand and to speak Spanish from her. She believed in me. She taught me about the culture, about corruption, about Cartels. She taught me to live safe..and she taught me to dance. She gave me hope and a reason to live, to feel needed and to feel cherished. I tried to tell her of my history but she told me she had no interest in my past. She tried to convince me that I was the answer to her prayers. That the Lord had sent me to her. She had been in four marriages, all of them abusive and violent. Together, her money and mine, we purchased a small non functional shrimp farm in the jungle near the southern border of Columbia and very near the Coast. A beautiful, wild and dangerous place. No electricity, and no roadways. We accessed the farm in canoe via the river. Traveling to the farm only when the tide was rising and leaving only when the tide was ebbing. It was a hard life with dirt floors and mosquito netting. Bathing and doing our laundry in the river. We married, I attended Mass in a nearby pueblo with my new wife and her children often, but I simply could not find the peace there that I so desperately needed.. In time I began attending an LDS branch an hour and a half away from the farm by bus. Soon after, my wife began attending with me as it was unsafe for me, a gringo, to travel alone. At the Church, the branch members met in an upstairs apartment and treated us with much care, kindness and love. I felt peace there as we sang hymns and listened to the speakers. On Sundays we often attended mass together and then attended the LDS branch after. Some weeks we could not attend depending on the hour of the tide. After many months of this, my wife lost her desire to attend early morning Mass and only attended the Branch with me. As the years passed, we sold the farm on a contract for a modest profit and moved to the big City. There I began donating my time teaching English and we have begun a non profit sewing organization to benefit women's hygiene. Here we again began attending a ward together with our children. The Missionaries came to our home and taught our family the Gospel and nearly two years later, the family was baptized. Excepting me of course. It feels awkward at times, them being members and me not. And yet I do all I can to lead and teach them with much love and in righteousness. I am happy again. I accept my life for what it is, and I accept my place in it. I have lost whatever pride I once had. I am still sorry for my past but I no longer mourn for what I have lost. I have no ill feelings toward my ex-wife, in fact I still have feelings of love for her and I sincerely hope for her, much happiness and joy. I do not dwell in the past nor do I have lofty dreams of the future. I live for today and it is enough. For the first time in so many years, I am at peace. I know that God is mindful of me and always has been. He has blessed my life even when I was so undeserving. The collapse of my life those years ago was not the condemnation of God, but was simply the natural reaction of the choices I had made. A reaction I had brought upon myself. I have become convinced that the Lord helped unite me with my dear wife. She is an incredible blessing in my life and she tells me daily how fortunate she is to have me in hers. I don't know the future but I think there will be many more blessings ahead. I do desire to be re baptized. The Stake President has directed me to send a letter to the First Presidency when I am ready, requesting re admission into the Church. He has assured me that when I do, he will also send them a personal letter of support. I simply want to be completely worthy when I do. The Stake has tasked me with teaching English to members in the Stake who desire to learn and I am very happy to serve however I am able. I know I am not alone having such problems stemming from pornography. I hope that with this letter, someone else may be helped and not have to suffer as I have rather than finding help and turning things around. However bad things are, they can, and probably will get worse if you don't change. Please, put your pride aside and make the necessary changes before it's too late. If you are an addict, you can't do it alone. I have never written about my story or told it to another soul. It feels good to have told my story at last. What a horribly... beautiful tapestry... our journey through life makes!
  3. A family member has opened up to me and has expressed that he may be at risk for excommunication. He is going to be seen by a church disciplinary council soon. Although he did some things he wasn't supposed to I know he is a wonderful person and that while it hurts to be in this situation, everything will still be ok. He has expressed the same sentiments. He and I were wondering about how long (if he were to be excommunicated) would it take to be rebaptized? And later to receive his endowments again? We also would like to know, what is some good advice to follow while he tries to comeback. Church articles on excommunication, personal experiences anyone is willing to share, church music etc. He is already eager and seeking ways to help himself to become worthy once again. Thank you in advance to those who can offer some more enlightenment, and prepare him for what may or may not happen. *note; he understands the gravity of the situation and is being judged by wonderful, inspired, loving, compassionate, priesthood holders. I beg that we do not judge him, or share personal opinion. Please post positive things, doctrine, and sincere help. Thank you
  4. I've heard a few things in regards to excommunication -- A little background before I ask the question. My mother is an inactive member of the church and my father is not a member of the church. By my own choice, I left on a mission (therefore endowed etc...)I served honorably and loved my mission. I think about it everyday. The thing is, even before my mission, I without a doubt in my mind believed in God -- but had the upmost time with Jesus Christ and his resurrection. I've also had a hard time rapping my mind around the church and their associating with the Theory of Evolution. My father is in full support and loves the church. He has nothing poor to say about it -- but he introduced me to the idea of evolution when I was young and he said the Church does agree with it -- mainly because BYU teaches Anthropology at their Universities. But, during my mission (we had daily access to the internet) -- I did research and found high ranking Quorom members basically bastardizing the entire process. I did more study into their Anthropology program and they speak nill of Evolution (hardly mentioned or talked about). As I said, I served an honorable mission and was even placed into an Assistant position by the end -- but I never brought my question to my mission president and his view on evolution. I decided to go to my YSA bishop when I got back and his answer is 'Its just a theory'. Now, the issue I have here is not with the bishops answer -- he is just one man who I know cannot speak for the entire church, but from my in depth research -- the church DOES NOT support evolution. This is not my question though. The first three months I prayed, went to the temple, church, etc -- everything I wanted to do and what I knew to do -- but no answer. I since then decided to distance myself from the Church. I let my Temple recommend expire and started drinking. I did not start drinking till the recommend expired. I did that for a few months -- still when to church alone but I did not let myself take the sacrament because I know of its importance -- But the last two months, I've been to church now twice. I went from consecutively going every Sunday to twice in two months. I also started sleeping with my girlfriend (who is not a member) -- and plan to move in with her. I do not feel like I have an anger or malice towards the church -- I have moved away from the core tenants and teachings of the church. I am worried about excommunication though -- Someone from my ward went to my bishop and blew the situation out of the water (told him I'm planning on leaving the church, girlfriend is trying to get pregnant, and other ridiculous things -- all untrue) My bishop obviously now wants to meet with me. I tried to be respectful from staying out of the temple, not taking the sacrament, and abusing those sacred things -- but could I still face excommunication? I do not feel like I have a relationship or solid testimony of Christ or the Holy Spirit. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.
  5. My ex husband was excommunicated. What is the process for sealing cancellation? Will he still have to write a letter since he was excommunicated? Or do the Bishop, Stake President, and myself just need to write a letter to request my sealing to him be cancelled?
  6. That's what I say to my kids when they break the house rules and get the attached consequences. So anyway, Kate Kelly has been excommunicated.
  7. breaks the law of chastity? It's obvious they're sent home.. are they kicked out of the church/unable to be married in the temple? Since they've broken temple covenants.. can they repent?
  8. I messed up. A few years ago. While on a training assignment with the Air Force, a buddy took me to his home town not far from where we were training. A bunch of his friends came to see him and stayed the night at his house. All the couches and floor space was filled with people and I was given the only air mattress. Instead of giving it up to a female friend of his that was spending the night I offered her the other side of the bed. I was an idiot for doing this. I never kissed, or had any form of intercourse with her whatsoever, but I did wake up at one point in the night, aroused and not thinking clearly at all and removed my clothes with the intent of waking her up and starting something. I laid there for a while and finally came to my senses enough to put my clothes back on and go back to sleep. The next night I was back at the training base and the girl called me and told me some things that she wished had happened while I was there which led to an explicit phone conversation. That was the end of my communication with that girl. I was newly endowed and married. I felt that my marriage was going to be over and I was in deep depression. I didnt see anyway i could tell my wife what i had done. And telling a bishop would require telling my wife. I decided that i would gladly bear the burden of guilt for the rest of my life if that spared my wife from living the rest of her's in doubt and insecurity. After weeks and months of prayer I felt different. I felt that so long as I used that experience as a rallying cry against all future temptation and used it to be stronger I could be forgiven, but if I ever did anything like it again I would be held responsible for this sin as well as the new one. I promised the Lord that I would remain pure if he would grant me a change of heart. He did. Of that I am certain. I have spent the last four years staying far from temptation and living a virtuous life. I have used that one time event to drive me toward a higher level of perfection and self discipline. I have felt the spirit in my life again for these four years and have felt forgiven and have acted accordingly with no conflict of conscience. I am a student at byu and after taking some religion classes the point has been made quite specifically that unless you go to a bishop about certain sins you cannot be forgiven. Although I have felt forgiven this whole time, I realize this sin would certainly qualify as something to go to a bishop about. I have begun to doubt what I have felt this while time. I want nothing more than to know I am in good standing with the. Birch and with the Lord, and I do not want my efforts to preserve my marriage here on earth to disqualify me for eternal marriage to my wife. I feel I should go in and seek judgement. I do want to know though what I will likely be facing as far as disciplinary action. Any insight would be appreciated.
  9. I am trying to figure out if I will be excommunicated or not. I am not sure where on this site I should post such a question. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
  10. I'm in my late 20's and I've been married for 8 yrs and have 4 children. My husband and I are sealed in the temple. We have been together since i was 17. I have done everything right I could the last 8 years and been completely active in church. Because of that the news of my husbands affairs have been extremely hard to bear. About a month ago I found out my husband has been cheating on me for 3 yrs. I am completely devastated and was totally blindsided by it. For the time being we have decided not to talk to anyone about it. I desperately need some support and I guess that's why I joined the site. I have never done the whole forum thing before. I found out something was wrong because he left his email up and there were pictures of women. When I confronted him he came clean. There have been multiple offenses, emotional and physical (including having sex more than once). And he said he wanted to tell me before but didn't know how and didn't want me to leave him. The last affair was just emotional and someone he met on the ps3. It had been going on for a few months though and only ended after i confronted him. I took him back because I still love him and think that divorce is the worst possible thing I could ever do to my kids. (This is my opinion) We are trying to make it work and even though he has destroyed my life and broken my heart he is a good father. What is the likelihood for excommunication in this situation?? This is a huge question for us. Especially considering the fact that his testimony is shaky at this point. We haven't told anyone anything about what is going on. Our eldest daughter is supposed to get baptized in a few months and I suppose that's when everything will come out. I don't know how things will go down though. What would happen if he did decide to go through with baptizing her even though he is unworthy?? I don't feel it's my place to go to the bishop for him but if I don't and he does perform her baptism am I committing a sin?? Things may come out before then, i don't now and I don't think I would let him do that, our daughter deserves better, but it's just a question I have. Right now I can only take it a day at a time. I can't look to the future anymore cause I don't know what even the next day holds. I guess I'm searching for some answers to my questions but also any words of encouragement I could find as well. If I didn't have to think of my kids I would prolly leave but that fact that he is the love of my life makes it easier to stay. We haven't gone to the bishop yet and I guess it's just cause we don't want people to know. It's no one's business and our families will found out if we go to the bishop because he won't be able to perform any priesthood ordinances or go to the temple. I wish there was a way we could go through the whole process without everyone finding out. I don't want my family to hate him but I know what I used to think of cheaters and it isn't kindly. I'm already a fragile, broken mess so please don't respond if you can't be kind. You may not agree with what I have decided or the questions I have but there is no need to be unkind. My whole world has been turned upside down in an instant! That's being said, please help!
  11. Hi. I am Athrun (not my real name). I'm an LDS and just passed my mission papers a month ago. I'm really desirous to go, but I have broken the Law of Chastity. I have had relationship and sexual intercourse with the same sex. My bishop doesnt know about this. I have forsaken it and what's left is confession. I'm 25 now and I'm afraid I will not be able to go to a mission coz i'll be overage if I go over the process. Also, they really expect from me a lot; and I don't wanna turn them down. I don't also wanna bring shame to my family..I am really depressed and confused now. What to do?? Please help me (
  12. Earlier this week, a man was released from prison, after serving 27 years of a life sentence for murdering a barmaid in 1979. DNA evidence, not available at the time of his trial has proved that he could not have possibly been the murderer. (Sean Hodgson murder conviction overturned after 27 years due to DNA evidence - Telegraph.) But this set me thinking: If this man had been a member of the LDS church - and had been excommunicated following his conviction - what would be happening now? Would he be immediately reinstated in the church, and if so, would the church admit that it had been wrong to excommunicate him? If not, what would be the justification for not readmitting him, considering that his innocence has been proved beyond doubt? I don't know if there are any precedents: The closest I can think of was John D. Lee, but he was never (as far as I know) formally acquitted of murder, and had been dead for nearly a century before his reinstatement. (P.S. I should probably have posted this under General Discussion - sorry)