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So, I've grown up in the church and have a strong testimony. I am 19 and have had plans of going on a mission for years, but for years I have been addicted to masturbation and porn. I have tried many times over the years and my record for stopping was about two months and that was around 6 years ago. my second best was one month and i did that last year. Most of the time it is a week to a week and a half of not viewing it followed by a few days to a week of viewing it. I have met with my Bishop many times and my stake president a few times, but there is only so much they can help with. We have decided that I could receive my patriarchal blessing after two weeks, the Melchizedek priesthood after a month, and submit mission papers after 6 months. Over the years my mind began to easily put all other thoughts aside and think about whatever thought is at the forefront. So, each time I'm trying to stop I easily put aside all other thoughts and begin down the wrong path again. I often am able to control myself from this one day, but the following day I just seem to give up the fight. I have realized that with most things in my life i just lack the proper motivation and perseverance. I always know what needs to be done but just can't bring myself to do it. I am just not sure how to go about this anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I am in a sad and confusing situation. My husband doesn't realize that the words he speaks are often hurtful and demeaning, even though a marriage counsellor has told him that he needs to think before he speaks. I have been successful in putting these remarks in the background for 15 years but am unable to do so anymore, they just keep coming. I do not enjoy good health and am often in much pain and so the words seem to cut me even harder. I do have some friends here who are most supportive, and a therapist, but am uncomfortable speaking with my Bishop about this because no one seems to believe he can be so cruel, and they put it to my illness. I have not met my visiting teacher, she only writes, and the Relief Society President has been no help, she told me to just not pay attention. But the words keep coming and the pain in my heart grows. I am happier when he is away than when he is home and I feel I must be on guard in all I say and do for fear of a nasty, demeaning and hurtful comment. Any suggestions?