texygirl

Thank you for all the advice and words of experience on here. It makes me sad that there is so much out there that can easily cause so much pain to families and to ourselves. Now that we have the internet I see how it could be a real struggle not to give in to looking at inappropriate things when they always seem to be in your face. I went out and bought a big picture of a temple and hung it on our wall. We have a few pictures of Jesus but we didn't have one of the temple. We have been trying to read the scriptures and have done FHE a couple times. I am really going to try to make these things a habit. I know it's something we should be doing for our kids and for ourselves. It's so easy to lose focus of what we need to do and why we are here on the earth. It's easy to get lost and confused especially when you are not as close to Heavenly Father as you should be. I think having the Spirit in our lives would help alot. I think it would make our home a happier and safer place. I just pray that I can be a stronger person. Strong enough to keep doing what I need to for my family.

Thank you for all the advice and words of experience on here. It makes me sad that there is so much out there that can easily cause so much pain to families and to ourselves. Now that we have the internet I see how it could be a real struggle not to give in to looking at inappropriate things when they always seem to be in your face. I went out and bought a big picture of a temple and hung it on our wall. We have a few pictures of Jesus but we didn't have one of the temple. We have been trying to read the scriptures and have done FHE a couple times. I am really going to try to make these things a habit. I know it's something we should be doing for our kids and for ourselves. It's so easy to lose focus of what we need to do and why we are here on the earth. It's easy to get lost and confused especially when you are not as close to Heavenly Father as you should be. I think having the Spirit in our lives would help alot. I think it would make our home a happier and safer place. I just pray that I can be a stronger person. Strong enough to keep doing what I need to for my family.

I feel like I really have let worldly things take over my life. I guess it has happened slowly but surely. And I realize it has to stop now. I can't change my husband but I can change myself and our home. And if he decides he wants to change it is up to him. I realize our little family is really following in the footsteps of my family when I was growing up. We weren't super active, my parents would watch inappropriate movies, I know because I used to try to sneak out of bed to see what they were watching. My mom was always screaming at my dad. In my family now, no one screams, though my husband has a temper. The Spirit wasn't felt very often in our home and I am sure my kids don't feel it very often in our home. And that makes me sad because I really wanted to raise them differently. Since my parents divorce I have seen both of their testimonies disappear. My brothers both live with their girlfriends and have both asked if they could live at our house with their girlfriends. When I told them no, my mom said I am judgmental and that I shouldn't push my brothers away. And I told her that it would be the wrong example for my kids and she said this is how the world is nowadays and God understands that things change. My kids have told my brothers they shouldn't live with their girlfriends and drink alcohol, because they talk about it in front of my kids and my brothers told me I am raising them wrong, that they are judgmental like me and shouldhave an open mind. My brothers both live far from me now and I think that is better for my kids. But I feel sad for them both because I know they aren't happy. My parents divorce really effected them. And in some ways has effected me. My Dad cheated on my mom at the end of their marriage and I have always been scared that would happen to me. My husband is very friendly and sometimes I have seen him flirting or maybe it was just being friendly with other women and I get jealous. Ihave seen him check out women in front of me and when I would tell him what I have seen he will say something like he was just looking because he thought he recognized them from somewhere. He had a co-worker that is a woman around our age who wanted to carpool with him and they work like 5 minutes away from our house and he had given her a ride a couple times and he told me she wanted to continue carpooling and I told him I didn't like it and it stopped, she got a lady from work to give her rides. I don't believe he would cheat on me but I believe he definitely has shown interest to pictures and once in a while a pretty lady walking by and I guess that's how it can all start. But I believe my parents divorce has caused me to be more jealous than I should be I guess. I don't want us to end up like my parents and I don't want my kids to end up like my brothers. I want them to be better than me and my husband and I wantthem to have a strong testimony and feel closeto Heavenly Father. So I need to get closer to him myself now before I run out of time to make things good for my family.

So how should I talk to him about it? How would you bring it up to him? I am probably not the best at communicating in our marriage. How do I go about talking in a way that doesn't sound selfish?

I told him about the pictures I saw and he said it's not a big deal because they weren't that bad. They were in bikinis and lingerie but not naked so I shouldn't be upset. I asked if he thought it would be ok for me to look at pictures of other guys and he said he wouldn't mind as long as they weren't naked. He called me insecure again. He said he couldn't believe I would be mad about it. He makes me feel like I am a crazy jealous person. I am tired of caring about it all.

I really like that zil. We have alot of changing to do, like becoming more active. Since my baby has been born, we haven't gone much. She is almost 4 months old and she now has a cold. But we could also be doing so much better with family prayers and family home evenings. I think it would help tremendously. My kids are growing and need to see us being good examples. I need to make sure these arethings we work on everyday.

I haven't told him anything but he can tell something is bothering me. I just know if I mention it he will get upset and say that I am insecure again and turn it around on me. I don't want to start another argument. I am not the type to blow up but he is. It's hard to know what to do. We just got internet a few weeks ago and I am thinking about cancelling it. I don't want things like this to cause more problems in our marriage. He would probably gladly cancel because it would be one less bill. When I was pregnant internetwould work in some rooms of the house but it wasn't ours. We never knew whose it was. It wasn't blocked and we didn't use it much but a neighbor moved and we had lost all connection so I think it must have been theirs. We signed up mostly so we could watch netflix but I am starting to rethink the whole thing. Though I don't know if that would really help the problem. I just don't want to argue. Marriage is hard enough as it is without internet.

It does bother me but I am so tired of feeling upset. I had been feeling really close to him the last couple days and it was nice. I actually felt like things were going good and getting better. I know alot of people would tell me it's normal for guys to look at women but I just don't understand it. He is the only person I love, the only one I want to be with or look at so maybe I am not those things for him.

So i put passwords on movies and shows and told him I think we should stop watching R-rated movies and that we need to change. I said I think it would be good for both of us. He didn't get upset, just kind of laughed. Today I went to the store and he stayed home with the kids. When I got back, I was looking at my tablet and saw he was viewing some site called Stunning MLB Wives. There were 28 pictures and each page had women dressed in bikinis or showing some cleavage. Now I don't consider something like that porn but don't understand why he clicked through 28 pages to see each woman. I mean I never click on sites where men are shirtless, it seriously doesn't interest me at all. The last time I caught him in a bedroom looking at pictures not too much different but what made it worse was he had been rejecting me for months. Now he is not really rejecting me anymore, things are starting to get back to normal since my baby has been born little by little. And I know he was not in a bedroom this time because he was watching the kids. Should this time bother me?

I have never thought it could be a coping method for him but I think you may be right. We have 3 kids and with each pregnancy he has acted very distant, during each pregnancy he has seemed to push me away. The second wasn't as bad as the first or the third. With this last baby, he didn't seem too excited about the pregnancy, he actually made hurtful comments a few times about it. We did plan it but maybe he felt stressed about it for some reason. He is crazy about our kids now though and is a great father. He is alot more involved and loving than I remember my dad being and I love that. I remember with my last 2 babies it took a few months for things to seem like they were back to normal after the pregnancies between us. But I think this was the first time I remember him rejecting me and using pictures of someone else to meet his needs, because I am sure that is what he was doing. Although he did seem to push me away with my other pregnancies, I never caught him doing that during my first 2 pregnancies but we also didn't have internet then. He did tell me the other day he wouldn't mind if put passwords for all the adult channels and the internet but I don't want him to feel like I am treating him like a baby but I think I will try it for a while. There are sites and channels I wouldn't want my kids to click on so I think we need those passwords anyway.

Thank you for all your helpful comments. I know things need to change now and we need to start becoming more active. But I believe he has had this problem since we first got married. Not a serious problem but after we had been married a couple months there was a night that I had gone to bed and he said he was going to come in a little while. After a little while I went to go see if he was coming and saw he was watching Girls Gone Wild, girls with their shirts off. It was blurred but I couldn't understand why he was watching it. There have been more incidents like this over our almost 10 years of marriage and when I would start to worry, people would tell me it's normal for a guy to do these things. I guess I remember my parents watching shows with nudity and sexual scene. But my parents got divorced and they were never really that active my whole life. I do not want a marriage like theirs. I will not preach anymore to him but I am definitely putting a stop to shows that contain nudity and sexual scenes. I think it all started with Breaking Bad. My husband works so much. He is hardly ever home, the only day we have together is Sunday but we don't even have that anymore lately. In the summer he would leave for work at 7 and come home at 9 every night. He chooses to work that much though. One of his jobs he does with his Dad and that's the one that takes up all his time. While I was in the hospital, the day after I had my baby, he left me to go help his dad. But anyway So someone told us how good the show Breaking Bad was. I know it's not the most appropriate show but I was glad we were spending time together and I thought it was pretty good.after we finished that we looked for more series to watch together and he happenedto see game of thrones on one night so I started watching with him. My grandma loves the show and i have always thought she was a good member. So even thoughI didn't care too much for it, I was happy we were spending time together and trust me, we have always fast forwarded the dirty parts. I am not lying there. But I have opened a box I never should have opened there and things are going to change today.

I have been going through the exact same thing! I caught my husband looking at a website of pictures of a girl, barely dressed. He was really embarrassed that I caught him alone in a bedroom looking at it. What hurt the most is he had been rejecting me for months. I was pregnant but I have since caught him watching really dirty movies. He said I am controlling and insecure. I have had my baby. She is 4 months old and i have lost 53lbs. But he still doesn't seem to be attracted to me. I think something is wrong and don't know what to do myself.

I got married to my husband in the temple almost 10 years ago. We have 3 kids, our youngest is almost 4 months old. We haven't always been really active. We usually attend once a month but he is always working, during parts of the year he has to work on Sundays and I haven't been strong enough to go by myself. My parents are divorced and got divorced around the same time I got married. They have both become inactive and don't believe in the church anymore. My 2 siblings say they don't even believe in God. My husband's family is active. My husband went on a mission and I know he has a testimony. But I feel like something has changed. While I was pregnant with my baby, he acted really distant with me. He would hardly even kiss me, would reject me and seemed to push me away. One day, I noticed he was downstairs in one of our bedrooms and the door was shut. He acted really suspicious and had my tablet in his hand. He wouldn't give it to me when I asked. He made me chase him through the whole house and finally locked himself in a room. I started crying because I knew what he must have been doing and he finally admitted he was looking at something he shouldn't be. It was a girl, who is famous, who was on this website and was hardly dressed. She was in her underwear and in bikinis and there were many pictures. It hurt because he had been rejecting me for months. I know I was pregnant but I still wanted to be close to him and here he was looking at pictures of some girl in the bedroom alone. I know she was not completely undressed but I knew he was definitely into the pictures. I have lost 53 pounds since my baby was born 4 months ago and he still doesn't act too interested in me. A couple of days ago I saw he had been watching this movie on the internt and it had nudity and sex and a review I read said it was just short of a porno film. I asked him about it and he said it was just a movie. I tried to search for it on YouTube and it was awful.He called me controlling and insecure and asked if I would like him to ask for permission before he watches a movie. I realize now that it could be partly my fault. We have watched shows like Game of Thrones and other series that contain dirty scenes. We always fast forward through them but maybe we shouldn't have been watching them at all in the first place. I told him today that we need to change and stop watching shows that contain nudity and adult scenes and he got upset and said he agrees we need to be more active but don't need to go to the extreme of discontinuing the shows we watch. He told me not to preach to him. I am worried about our marriage. I know he hasn't watched porn but I read an article from one of the apostles that pornography can be many different things. I guess I really didn't think of it like that but I now know it's true.I love him so much and want our marriage to be good. I just don't know how to go about changing things in our home.