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Jane_Doe last won the day on April 16

Jane_Doe had the most liked content!


About Jane_Doe

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    Wyoming, USA
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  1. Jane_Doe

    Original Mission

    Going to compile / rearrange a bunch of different posts here: That's good! A lot of folks fall into the trap of thinking a foreign mission is "cooler" or "better" than going somewhere like Boise Idaho. It's not. But we humans do like bling. - How long a person stays in an area varies hugely from mission to mission and missionary to missionary. A year is on the long side, but not remotely unheard of. -I would not assume that his not getting transfer is due to meds and/or just due to meds. There's likely a ton different in play. 100% normal. We culturally... I feel fail at points at accurately portraying missions. Yes, it is a noble service, and great opportunity for spiritual growth. It's also HARD. physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. There's a ton of pressure (rightful and wrongful), lots of rejection, you're out of your element, etc. Truthfully the hardness is true about any young adult experience. It's also REALLY hard being a mom with the first chick flying out of the nest! And I also feel that we as a society really suck at prepping moms for that too. Starting at 18: mom's are completely out of any loop. Except for how much the young adult wishes to share. You need to trust them, and that's TERRIFYING at points. Some tips for helping teenagers be prepare to be better functioning young adults: - Know how to do your own laundry. Like literally, so many young adults don't know how to properly wash their clothes. And likewise just basic "how to tend to yourself and your house" skills. - Develop goal keeping, and owning your choices (both good and bad). Young adults need to be able to make decisions, hopefully foresee consequences, and accept them. Yes, that means when the consequence is a big mess, they need to clean it up. Other folks stepping in to rescue them doesn't promote maturity, rather encourages de-evolution into adult-sized toddlers. Having them know of to develop goal and think things through are essential skills. - Maintain an open communication bridge and promote love.
  2. Jane_Doe

    Child support/ temple recommend

    In order to have a valid temple recommend, yes you are required to be up to date on child support. Which probably means the lady in question lied about it to her bishop & the Lord. Honestly, that puts her in way more of a bad spot than other any mortal could make her. If you're seeking to get this child support, I would reach out through legal channels.
  3. Jane_Doe

    Original Mission

    Hi mama, I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you and your son have been going through. So, we got a few things going on: - Not being transferred to the "original" mission assignment. Yeah, that is a major rainy-day. COVID sucks. There could be a million reasons for how things are going the way they are, lots of it not related directly to your son himself-- stuff like covid restrictions, visa complications, etc. It's miserable, but honestly not much anything any person can do. My deepest sympathies. - As to your son receiving medical treatment: any adult must consent to counseling and/or medication-- everything must be done with your son's approval. HIPPA laws forbid telling an adult's medical treatment to another person. If you son choose to tell you about his medical stuff, then he can. But other people legally cannot. This is the same as if he were to be in college dorms, just living & working on his own, etc. I worked at a college for many years, particularly with freshman for many years and... like I had cases where students were being beaten by their boyfriend, suicidal, major medical issues etc. Legally, these were private matters and I was not allowed to discuss with others including their parents (there were exceptions for police, Student Affairs, etc). Speaking personally, my first two years of college were a disaster and I worried my mother sick. I was depressed, anxious, hated my surroundings, etc. But it did turn out alright. If you want to talk more, feel free to shoot me a PM.
  4. Jane_Doe

    How close should extended family be?

    Healthy relationships include healthy boundaries. How much physical distance than involves is entirely up to you & your hubby. Some relationships are able to live physically very close and maintain those healthy boundaries (my brother-in-law is that way). Others (like with my mom) having some physical distance helps out. I live 2.5 hours from my family, so we can visit for a weekend, but no one is showing up unannounced for dinner -- I like that, and it makes for a much better relationship with my folks than when I lived in the same town. A super-simple-example of this: up until I was 32 years old, any time I would visit my mother and stay at her house (because I don't live close by), towards the end of the visit she would walk into my room (against my express permission), collect all of the dirty laundry, and take it upstairs to wash it with all of the extended family's. THIS DROVE ME BONKERS!!! I'm an adult: I can wash my own clothes! And would like to do so in my own home where I don't have to figure out who's socks are who's! (And inevitably getting it wrong and accidently taking somebody else's clothes). Despite my years of protests, she would always do this-- meaning well and trying to be helpful. It to a LOT of convincing to get her to stop and respect my request in this regard. Conversely, my brother-in-law loves it when his mom does his laundry.... It's just a different relationship.
  5. THe above I typically have seen. But really, it’s your family’s thing, do what you want. The only thing that has a specific “must be done this way” is the ordinance itself.
  6. Jane_Doe

    When do I teach my kids anti?

    I was debating adding that "of course I know many Protestants that this doesn't jive well with, but I don't care." or a more in-depth answer along those line, but found it kind of disrespectful.
  7. Jane_Doe

    New Temple Predictions

    I was thinking of you SilentOne and how well done many of your guesses were.
  8. Jane_Doe

    When do I teach my kids anti?

    I'm a mom, and practically OCD honest. My husband is also a Protestant (respectfully and wonderfully so). We also have anti-Mormon relatives. When working with my daughter, I tell her stories of men of God (latter and ancient days), focusing on teaching lessons. I don't hide the fact that these men were human-- that Peter got scared and fell in the water (for example). Rather, such is an opportunity to teach her how yes, she too gets scared some times, but Christ is there to catch her. These flaws aren't things to hide and then need to be delicately discussed. Rather they are things we talk about openly and how they refined the people in the stories, and how her flawed self can be likewise refined. I'm also totally ok acknowledge that there's many things that are true which aren't in just the Bible-- God's marvels extend far beyond it! Such isn't "down putting" the Bible,. rather acknowledging the sheer majesty that is God and His wonders.
  9. Jane_Doe

    President Nelson vaccinated

    An interesting update on this front: The new Church Handbook updates strongly encourages vaccination and advises that un-vaccinated missionaries will most likely serve in their home countries. https://www.deseret.com/faith/2021/3/31/22359997/vaccinations-protect-health-and-preserve-life-latter-day-saint-handbook-update-mormon-lds While neither of these are really new updates (the Church has been pro-vaccine for decades), it is a very potent and timely reminder.
  10. Jane_Doe

    The trinity = the family

    I acknowledge your beliefs there, but it's not part of my beliefs or LDS Christian teachings.
  11. That's not missionary work. Again: this is not a forum for secular outreach. Of ANY type.
  12. @DennisTate, that's all well in good.... but there's MUCH more to being an LDS Christian than taking a online quiz. It's not like Protestantism where you just drift in and out or take things cafeteria style. Rather there is a package set of base beliefs, a formal structure or organization, of baptism/joining, etc.
  13. Jane_Doe

    mass shootings

    One of the latest mass shootings hit VERY close to home for me- metaphorically and literally. The shooter lived within a quarter mile of me, I delivered newspapers to his house growing up, he was on the same sports team as my husband (years removed in time), my best friend drove the shooter's bus to events, the shooting place was within a mile of my grandma's house at her grocery store (obviously I've been there too). I listened to all of the "let's defund the police!" local news last summer, and now an officer is dead and many others. I... have a lot of thoughts on this, which I will have to figure out how to write down later today. No, the reaction shouldn't be "DC needs tighter gun control!"- such really seems to be ignoring the very real pain the local community is feeling. These aren't about the need for more regulation, they aren't about race, they aren't about drugs, they.... they're about real people really really hurting, before and after.
  14. Jane_Doe

    President Nelson vaccinated

    That makes sense-- both encouraging the missionaries and informing parents. Yes, missionaries are adults, but at 18 a lot of the time that line gets blurred. And it's easier for a mission president to inform parents of missionary field operations and be open about that information, rather than leaving it on the missionaries shoulders to inform each parent what's going on.
  15. I am currently expecting a baby this summer. When that baby is born, whom do you believe is that baby's Father? Whom created that baby?