Jane_Doe

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Everything posted by Jane_Doe

  1. Jane_Doe

    Free will

    An important refinement on this to make (speaking as an LDS Christian lady) Free will is foundational to what it is to be. It is intrinsic to whom person is. The Father acknowledges this. Christ (whom was always the chosen to be the Savior) choose to follow in His Father's wisdom in this regard. It was Lucifer whom then said (in essence) "Time out-- no no, that's a horrible idea. I'll force everyone to behave. I'll be the Savior I"ll be the most High!". The Father already had the Plan, Lucifer's rebellion was never a valid option. But Lucifer did always have the option to obey or rebel, and he choose rebellion. You can't get a more anti-Calvinist view point than LDS Christians. The "sovereignty of God" is... not a concern. Just zero. We have all have choices- you, me, the Father, etc. They are intrinsic. Obviously some things aren't possible and consequences comes with choices. Even the Father acknowledges this and works within that framework.
  2. Jane_Doe

    Biden's Mandate may be a tad too far

    FWIW @Fether I’m pro-covid safety measures (masks, vaccine, distance, etc). I just don’t vocalize things to much online or IRL.
  3. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    Having the option to stay home is very different than the default assumption being that a working woman is working because she didn't have the option and has a lesser quality husband. Also, there are legitimate reasons a man could not work / unable to make enough to solo provide. A medical disability being an obvious example. I went, created, and account, downloaded the book, and read through the first 30 pages and it's ... very chauvinistic... I'll go for a very simple quote to illustrate my feelings here: "Lack of chivalry is apparent on every hand. Women, of necessity, must take care of themselves. They must change their own tires, wash the automobiles, mow the lawn, repair the furnace, paint the house, and life heavy objects. Where are the men waiting to offer masculine assistance to the gentler sex?" --pg 12 The assumption here is that a woman doing any of these things is because of a man's failings. That's not honoring her choice whether or not to do them, a couple's right to divide work as equal partners, or her need to learn these skills as a agent in her own right. It's not empowering to women. OR to men as the tone is very negative rather than encouraging men to develop themselves and their individual talents. Going for a simple example: a lady is driving on the super busy highway on the way to a Relief Society activity. She gets a flat and has to make an emergency pull off to the shoulder. She knows how to change the tire, and quickly does so, thus getting safely off the busy highway shoulder asap. This is a GOOD thing. Her having this skill to quickly enable her to get to safety it's a failure on anyone's part (hers or any man's). Likewise it's ok if as a couple they decide that the wife's going to spend the afternoon working on the car while the husband is taking care of another thing. That's ok: they both have options and made a joint decision to do things. That's working as help-mates, as God intended.
  4. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    I am a member of society, former attendee of BYU-I and have many loved ones whom are graduates of BYU Provo, and family members currently attending BYU. I find being able to articulate one’s concerns at be an important skill. I can’t help find a solution to a problem that’s not expressed. And no, I don’t find educating women to be a problem or sinful. Same with women being able to choose to work. Same for folks attracted to members of the same sex. I have encountered folks ( both at BYU’s, in the church, and in general) whom have very harmful ideas of “ masculinity “, which frequently involve curtailing the agency of others and limiting thier own growth.
  5. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    Indeed. You have a “call to arms” and yet cannot explain what your concern is. I am trying to understand.
  6. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    Again, that’s not helpful for me to understand what you mean here.
  7. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    People can listen to the same talk and hear very different messages. There is an extremely high probability of that being the case for this talk. As I’m specifically interested in how YOU are using the term, my asking you for your own definition in your own words, rather than me imposing my hearing on to you.
  8. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    Can you elaborate on what you mean when you use the term “marshmallow men”?
  9. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    You have not elaborated on what you consider to be “marshmallow men”. But a woman working does NOT mean her husband is of lesser quality. Neither does A woman earning a degree somehow make a man weaker.
  10. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    You are judging me, your coworkers, thier husbands, etc. Again: a woman working or having a education does not equate to “omega-males”. Rather, a man should CELEBRATE another person getting a degree, working a good job, other other accomplishments.
  11. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    We’re talking about the here & now Earthly life. Again, a woman working does NOT mean her husband is some type of lesser quality. It is very inaccurate and offsenive for anyone to make such an assumption or judge them at all.
  12. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    Myself: all of the above. I enjoy my job: it gives me puzzles, new things to learn & solve, etc. That doesn't mean I don't also prize my family extremely. But I also do enjoy my work. Which isn't to say that there aren't headaches involved with it that I regularly gripe about. Running through other ladies I know: - She works at a school because she enjoys being able to learn how better educate her children, and to help other kids & families learn. It's a "because I have been given much" attitude. Plus, she enjoys having the extra money in the family budget to save for children's college and rainy-day fund. - She works because she wants to & enjoys the connection with other adults. She goes stir crazy and clinically depressed when she's been a a stay-at-home mom. - She works because she loves her husband and doesn't want him gone 100+ hours a week working multiple jobs. She'd rather have him work one job, and then come home to be with her & the kids both emotionally/physically. She choose to work some herself rather than have a MIA husband. - She works because her husband has health issues and it's uncertain how long he'll be able to work at all. Her working means they have savings now and if he needs to stop working she already has an established career. - She works to better learn & challenge herself. She's loves the new skills she's acquired and wants to keep growing mentally. None of these ladies are working because their husband is lazy or a dog. In fact, I know each of the husbands and they are all good hard working men at the job & at home as husbands & fathers. It's HORRIBLY inaccurate and offense to both the ladies and men to assume "oh she's working, he must be low quality".
  13. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    Pardon me: but that seems really shaky ground for a huge position and inherently HUGELY judgmental one.
  14. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    You do realize that that's an assumption, and yourpostions seems to be largely built on it?
  15. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    Why do you believe that a woman choosing to work somehow means her husband is of lesser quality? (If I'm incorrect in my understanding of your viewpoint here, I apologize and please help me understand better).
  16. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    *Thumbs up to your awesome sounding wife and hilarious grandma* I totally acknowledge and respect you & your wife's decision of how to do things. I am assuming that at least some of your female coworkers are married and that they (your coworkers) choose to work. Do you find that in anyway reflects badly on said female coworkers or their husbands?
  17. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    Im first establishing groundwork. Hence the phrase “for starters”. And yes, I have seen people whom do disagree with this groundwork, hence my stating it to make sure that this foundational point is discussed & clear.
  18. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    I’m going to answer this in general, as I don’t have any particular ties to BYU. For starters, a person should be thier best self, independently of how well anyone else is doing. We should also congratulate others for being better verisions of themselves without feeling threatened by thier progress. Hence a girl doing well, including getting get a education & job, doesn’t threaten a boy, or vise versa.
  19. Jane_Doe

    BYU - Call to Arms

    I’m going to passionately disagree with you on about every point here @mikbone. Honestly I’m not even sure where to start.
  20. Jane_Doe

    Doctrine Fallout

    Your brother seems like he's carrying some major hurt. I doubt any answer here will truly help him- rather specifically resolve that decade+ of old hurt. I just don't see that happening. But to answer the question nonetheless: vast majority of the time, things are indeed focused on Christ & the concepts of loving each other-- as they should be, those are the most important. Sometimes there are specific situations where loving your neighbor does come to a specific call of action: such as the need for us all to fight this pandemic and take care of each other. It's not a "I can do whatever I want and I'm not going to affect anyone else" situation. Yes, there is that strong urging for covid cautious in scheduled programs (closing down Sacrament meetings, temples, etc) and individuals day to day (asking people to vaccinate, mask, social distance, etc). As to people struggling with this urging: yes some people do indeed struggle. We're all human: some readily follow, some rationalize blatant blowing it off, some kind of in the middle, etc. I'm not going to pretend that's not the case. We're each supposed to study things out: think for yourself, look at leaders words, consult with the Lord, etc. It never should be about just blindly following. I personally do find that the covid-cautious route is wise and agree full heartedly here. I also acknowledge that others have more internal conflict on this topic. And my heart goes out to those people: I myself have struggled with other topics. My heart is sympathetic and moved, though I still urge what I believe to be best (the covid-cautious route). And I totally acknowledge whatever path you've taken on this and other issues.
  21. Jane_Doe

    The Deaf culture phenomenon - insights?

    A deaf person is perfectly capable of functioning in society and communicating as a hearing person. ASL is amazing and the deaf people I knew (whom were majority LDS) considered it to be a legit miracle from God. There are also many other tools to aide with things (texting, alarms with lights, etc). Is it the same life as a hearing person? Obviously not. But it is still just a legitimate and such individuals should not be approached as if they are “broken”. Likewise it’s not abusive for parents to not automatically force thier children to be something they are not naturally. Rather, it should indeed be a carefully thought out decision.
  22. Jane_Doe

    The Deaf culture phenomenon - insights?

    And @NeuroTypical lands a 300% bullseye into the heart of the matter! Amazingly well said.
  23. Jane_Doe

    The Deaf culture phenomenon - insights?

    You're still approaching tings from the perspective of "a deaf person is disabled and less able to communicate". Would you likewise try to "cure" me of being autistic? Or Traveler's brothers for being color-blind? Or a left-handed person such as myself? Do you likewise see these as ailments that need to be fixed and you don't understand why anyone in those boats won't jump at the chance to be "normal"?
  24. Jane_Doe

    The Deaf culture phenomenon - insights?

    <I'm not deaf, but I am basically familiar with deaf culture, having attended a deaf ward for 18 months specifically to study ASL and deaf culture. And I happen to think deaf culture completely rocks.> To best explain this, a parallel example is helpful: I'm not a neurotypical person. Officially, I'm high functioning autistic. I see the world in logic and equations, and have a powerful ability to break down any problem -- I invented my own version of calculus at age 12 because it was useful and obvious to me. On the flip side: there's a lot of "normal" social nuances that are baffling to me: fashion, social cues, correct level of delicateness, etc. Naturally, I make "weird" gestures, I can talk "strange", and be "too blunt". Growing up, my mom approached this a problem to be "cured": according to her, I had a "disability" and needed to learn to "act normal". .... and honestly that approach was hugely damaging to our relationship and my self esteem. I am not broken: I am me. I am a daughter of God. Yes, the way I AM. To quote Elder Holland "there is nothing wrong with singing in your own voice". My daughter is now very similar to me: at age 4 she was doing 100 piece puzzles, age 6 starting multiplication, etc. She is clueless about fashion. And that's ok: she is beautiful. And if anybody tries to "fix her disability" I'm going to go Rage Mama Tiger at that idiot. Likewise, a deaf child is beautiful. Yes, she/he is different than a standard hearing kid, but still beautiful. Deafness often brings a great eye for beauty, a composite nature, a deep awareness of how others are feeling, etc. A deaf person is are not "broken" and don't need "fixed". And cochlear implant hearing is not true hearing either. And there can be a lot of resentment if somebody approaches them or their kids that way.