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Everything posted by Jane_Doe

  1. My ward has such. It’s been a really contentious subject with some wanting everything back a year ago and some just not ready. There’s also conflict/inconsistency between the stake and wards on the subject. status in my ward: ward leadership wants everything back to normal. Currently the only rements are the sacrament served at the end of sacrament meeting, with separate give trays and collect trash bags. They’re threatening ending the broadcast and ending even the last special cases to stay home. Honestly... it makes me uncomfortable and like I’m always a step behind what I’m ready for and being rushed forward.
  2. Part of picking a therapist is you interviewing them to find one you like and is cool helping you go where you want to go, and how you want to get there. You don’t need (and shouldn’t ) join with someone random or you’re out of sync with. And that’s not what a good therapist wants either.
  3. I’m in the same boat: comfy clothes are where it’s at. I finding myself resenting having to ditch them for something less comfortable if more “professional “. Fashion is silly.
  4. Agreed. Honestly my reaction at the time (being ms snark and not the most polite) was and inward “well, if I knew the way to my dorm, why would I be asking you for directions? You must be stupid”.
  5. People are sinners. Even desk ladies at BYU. But it is an example of how we need to be careful in how we approach people and doctrine, always putting charity first.
  6. Sharing a personal experience: when I was 10, I attended a soccer training camp at BYU. One afternoon we had some water sports at the fields, to which we all wore our bathing suits (me in my one piece). As the day came to a close, I got separated from my group. Lost and distressed, I went into one of the buildings, hoping someone could give me directions. The response from the lady at the front desk “Come back when you are dressed modestly, then I might be able to help you.” We need to be very careful on how we approach some gospel topics.
  7. No. Conduct yourself modestly because it’s the right thing to do before God. Not to do with others.
  8. I see it the same as any other major sin: you need to express love while also being clear on what you believe is correct. Going up to someone you barely know, recounting what you heard, and demanding that they repent for their actions is only going to harden hearts. Obviously I don’t envy the bishop’s position here, as he does have jurisdiction and obligation step up to stop this. I see lots of prayer for him, and counseling with the sake president and/or other guiding people.
  9. Agreed- their Bishop should 100% be told about this and swiftly deal with this totally inappropriate actions. As to what you can do with Sally... it sounds like you two aren’t friends, or interact with any regularity. So I would deal with this the same as any other major sin: love the sinner. If when your paths cross this some how comes up directly, then deal with it directly.
  10. "Modesty", when properly understood, is about being humble in thought/deed/word/appearance. It is the opposite of being boastful. And I find that people errantly try to make it all about appearance, especially a girl's hem line. That bothers me. As to how to better teach this: stress that modesty = humble. I would even have an entire lesson on modesty where talking about clothes is banned-- just so that other aspects of this important topic can actually get talked about. And yes, it's an issue that equally affects both genders.
  11. Due to my non-member husband, the tithing part is complicated and not a one word answer. Also, my bishop is very specific view of "attend your meetings" (covid conflicts there). I'm also not a fan of the assembly line feel interviews can have. It's.... faith is a very sacred personal thing and it feels uncomfortable those times when interviews are akin to a drive-through.
  12. @NeedleinA, I’ll raise my hand as one of those people that is hard to schedule, despite being an active very believing lady. . Here’s the OCD honest reasons, all of which work together, but last is the biggest — -The shortage of time is indeed a factor. Both for the interviews themselves and actually attending the temple. - My non-member husband, while supportive of me believing and participating locally, is complicated when it comes to matters of tithing and me being gone for a 6 hour tremble trip. Especially when I was working 100 wks, and we did/do have little kids at home without outside support. - While I love the principle of the temple, my experience actually going ... has been a mixed bag. There’s a lot of complicated emotions there. - (The biggest reason) I love the gospel deeply, and all of the above are very delicate- close-to-the-matters of great importance. And to be frank, I do NOT trust my local leadership to discuss them with the needed delicate reverence. I either don’t know them at all (majority of them) or I’ve been trampled by them in the past and had trust very broken, and it’s not the type of broken that having a conversation will fix anything. I believe in the Gospel deeply. And the time of temples being closed will pass. Regardless of whether or not it’s open, I’m going to keep living my life worthily. But I really don’t want to open up to a man whom I don’t know well and/or has hurt me badly in the past.
  13. I don’t see marriage as an end to honoring your parents - there is no end to that. An adult person should also be their own person, not a subsidiary (physically, emotionally, spiritually) of thier parents. This is true for all adults, single and married.
  14. My grandpa’s second marriage was in the temple for time only. Both he and his bride were widowed, and their marriage was simply for companionship in their elder years. Both of them considering their original spouse as their eternal companion. They married in the temple to show their commitment to the marriage and living worthy of the temple.
  15. I’m sorry to here your story @Suzie. I don’t have much first hand experience with LGBT+ stuff, but I am very familiar with mental health issues and sucidal thoughts, having battled them for many years. My husband was on the receiving end of a person’s last phone call- he said he’d call back, forgot, and the person sucicided two days later. I myself once had my close trust betrayed by a girl, and I responded by absolutely berating her- and I was told about my words drove her to a sucicide attempt that night. It was devestating and fueled my own depression. Equally tough was years later when I found out the entire story was faked and that I had been catfished (before that was term for it). Life can be .... very hard. Depression is a tough issue. Yes, we should treat each other with kindness. Yes our actions affect others (good and bad). But I hesitate to say “you are responsible for another’s actions, the action to take their life”. Things... are just so complicated and I don’t see the benefit in that. I’d rather figure out how to best be loving and truthful in the individual circumstances I come a across.
  16. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. If it's a huge deal for your mom to be there to support your mom (not your aunt-- she's off to a better place), then I would be there for your mom. If it's not, and you don't want to go, then I won't go.
  17. I find that vast vast majority of other churches don’t treat their worship place as quiet reflection. Rather a place for joyful/loud worship, fellowship, and loud singing (frequently in the form of a rock conference).
  18. My 7 year old daughter is .... well 7 and impatient. She hysterically sobs when we leave Grandma's house like they'll never ever see each other again. I'm sad when we have to leave too, even though I don't sob and understand the bigger picture. I do like being at my folks' house and having them right there in-person. When somebody finishes their mortal journey,. people are sad that they no longer are right there in-person. That's just natural- we like seeing our loved ones and hanging out. Yes, we Saints know that we'll see them again and have that bigger picture, which greatly alleviates the bigger picture sadness. But it doesn't mean we can't also be temporality sad in the moment of loss.
  19. For me, part of therapy for depression / life improvement was learning more social cues and what were accepted options at various points. I'm not neurotypical, and this type of stuff doesn't remotely come naturally to me. One simple example: I prefer to work hard then play hard. During my first year of college, all of my classes/responsibilities were essentially loaded into 2 days a week, wherein I would start class a 7 AM and finish at 8 PM, with only a 30 minute lunch break in the middle. This was actually a awesome schedule for me. During that 30 minute break, my introverted self REALLY needed just 30 minutes of rest/alone time to recharge. However, almost always some well meaning BYUI Samaritan would see the girl sitting in the corner by herself and come join me-- totally killing my recharge time!!! Hence I was perpetually exhausted and actively resentful to all of these well meaning people, further fueling my depression and isolation. Now, with some more social education, I'm aware that one line would have solved so many issues: "hey, thanks for thinking of me. However lunch is my 'me time' amongst my busy schedule and I really would appreciate just having some alone time to rest". Problem completely solved!
  20. @Fether, I can't speak for the young person you know. But I can speak from my own different experience with depression (warning, this is heavy stuff). My depression was the result of severe childhood abuse. I grew up honestly believing that I was a "monster that needs to be killed to protect people". It didn't matter how often the YW theme or other "You are of great worth to God" things were recited- it's like there was a plexiglass wall separating those statements from me. This had nothing to do with pride or seeking attention or not taking responsibility. In fact, took way way too much responsibility-- fighting terrible battles as a solo elementary kid. I worked extremely hard to make sure nobody found out about my secret war-- thinking that others couldn't be trusted and this would just hurt them. I was sure that if I tried hard enough, I could conquer this by myself. I was so so so wrong. When I finally did relent to open up and get therapy... it made a world of difference. Demons that I had struggled with in secret for decades... suddenly I had tools and guidance on how to really beat them. I was able to learn tools to truly take care of myself. I was able to forgive myself for perceived wrongs and honestly start feeling the love of Christ. As to what to do with your young friend: there are indeed tools out there to help her. Let her know where they are, let her know that you love her & you're there-- love her as the Savior loves her, truly taking the time to understand. And then pray. Often darkness comes before light, so I make no promises of instant turnarounds, but that is the start.
  21. A therapist exists to help you go where you want to go (and are willing to put the effort into thus). You want one that respects your values/beliefs, even if they themselves don't share it. A lot of the time therapy does involve approaching a problem from a different angle. There are plenty of time where that problem can be influenced by religious belief, and the new different angle is still within religious orthodoxy..
  22. *Hugs* @Comp and family.
  23. Actual woman here I want to hear good messages, and I really don't care what the speaker looks like / gender / nationality /etc. Really don't care. That being said, I do know faithful LDS woman whom do desire to have both gender partners speaking. Somebody that they feel has traveled a road more similar to theirs and can relate to the hard / good times they are going through. And I understand and sympathize with that.
  24. Going to compile / rearrange a bunch of different posts here: That's good! A lot of folks fall into the trap of thinking a foreign mission is "cooler" or "better" than going somewhere like Boise Idaho. It's not. But we humans do like bling. - How long a person stays in an area varies hugely from mission to mission and missionary to missionary. A year is on the long side, but not remotely unheard of. -I would not assume that his not getting transfer is due to meds and/or just due to meds. There's likely a ton different in play. 100% normal. We culturally... I feel fail at points at accurately portraying missions. Yes, it is a noble service, and great opportunity for spiritual growth. It's also HARD. physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. There's a ton of pressure (rightful and wrongful), lots of rejection, you're out of your element, etc. Truthfully the hardness is true about any young adult experience. It's also REALLY hard being a mom with the first chick flying out of the nest! And I also feel that we as a society really suck at prepping moms for that too. Starting at 18: mom's are completely out of any loop. Except for how much the young adult wishes to share. You need to trust them, and that's TERRIFYING at points. Some tips for helping teenagers be prepare to be better functioning young adults: - Know how to do your own laundry. Like literally, so many young adults don't know how to properly wash their clothes. And likewise just basic "how to tend to yourself and your house" skills. - Develop goal keeping, and owning your choices (both good and bad). Young adults need to be able to make decisions, hopefully foresee consequences, and accept them. Yes, that means when the consequence is a big mess, they need to clean it up. Other folks stepping in to rescue them doesn't promote maturity, rather encourages de-evolution into adult-sized toddlers. Having them know of to develop goal and think things through are essential skills. - Maintain an open communication bridge and promote love.