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Everything posted by Jane_Doe

  1. Prayers for you, the family, and all folks struggling under the many burdens of this world.
  2. It's not so simple as those class lines, but yes it is welfare and rewards poor money-management / planning. I'm not saying that every person who graduated with student debt did so because they were not responsible (that's not remotely true!), but it does directly penalize those whom 1) never went to college, 2) went to college and worked really hard to minimize debt, and 3) set the expectation that finically irresponsibility is rewarded. The anti-religious point I'm not going to quite agree with. I find it more people just don't want to pay their debts.
  3. Options: 1) ignore and forget it. 2) in a separate text/call say “hey just so you know, this happened”. And then ignore and forget. And never open unfamiliar attachments.
  4. There is not really an issue with it directly. But when you’re actively in that dark place, it’s very very VERY easy to feel like others talking at you are don’t “get it”.
  5. Even if you passionately disagree with some big-picture school thing, making the classroom teacher's life hard is just childish. Express your opinions in the correct venue, in a mature fashion, with people whom are actually responsible for the decision & can make a difference.
  6. I remember the names of most of them. For elementary, your teacher really influences a lot of the experience. That wanes more with middle and especially high school as other aspects grow in focus. With exception for some high school teachers that really left a mark. But I also won’t be super upset hearing a teacher passed away- I just don’t get upset that way. There’s a few I might go to their funerals if I was in the same town.
  7. I didn't get the chance to watch conference yesterday, and upon seeing this thread the first talk I watched this morning was Elder Holland's. Depression & suicide is a topic that in unfortunately very personal to me. I had some major childhood trauma that drove me to deep depression and suicidal thoughts at an extremely young age. It was my secret war-- growing up in the 90's we didn't talk about abuse or depression or suicide. Not a church, not at home, not anywhere. This was my secret war and to my young knowledge I was the only one in the world going through something like this. Christ & a testimony of Him was literally the only thing that kept me going at points-- the knowledge that at least He knew & understood. I remember vividly when Elder Holland spoke directly of his own struggles with depression from the General Conference pulpit in "Like a Broken Vessel". It was... huge for me. By then I had actually began to address my struggles in a personal & clinical setting, but hearing of it from the pulpit-- an Apostle's own struggles-- was HUGE for me. That talk is still a major favorite of mine, surpassed only by his later talk "Songs Sung & Unsung". They were instrumental in finally fully healing my wounds. Watching Elder Holland's latest talk this morning with this thread in mind, I am of two thoughts. The dominate one is how I feel right now, as somebody who's come through that tunnel and now stands on the other side: I loved it in tears. I found it extremely touching, Christ-centered, emphatic, humble and generally very on point. I am so glad to have this spoken from the General Conference pulpit, directly, without euphemism, from an Apostle I know has seen the darkness. However, thinking of your daughter, I thought of how I would have reacted back then... and that's more of a mixed bag. When I was deep in that pain, many times I didn't want medicine or to be better-- I just wanted to be left alone. In my illness, I thought I "deserved" this and any wanna-be heroes were arrogant & naive fools whom didn't understand the monster I was. It was a point of deep illness, that foundationally warped my perspectives. And frankly made life super hard for me & anyone whom cares (I did/do have many loved ones). Prayers for you, your daughter, and all of your loved ones.
  8. I'm of several thoughts here. The first was "well people really really sucked at following it, and didn't ever seem to get really better." Which yeah the people in Old Testament times really struggled with these basics and as a whole continued to do so over the centuries. In fact, we today still really struggle with these same things. But my next thought was "And God knew that this would be so, and everything works for His plan". The Law of Moses was never meant to be the final destination, rather a preparatory law. And it did indeed serve that purpose.
  9. When non-members ask me "how can you believe in the Book of Mormon when we lack literal evidence of it being true from scientists?" My response is to laugh and say "If I was a person whom required scripture to be super-literal-true-with-21st-century-scientific-take-on-things, then I would throw all Abrahamic faiths out the airlock based on Genesis alone. There is so much of it that is blatantly shown to be false by modern science -- *if* your judgement of Truth is based on 21st century scientific interpretation. For example: the world was not created in exactly 8,640 minutes (6 days). Frankly, the people of ancient Israel were not counting minutes with this story-- counting minutes isn't the point! Rather, the creation story is about God creating the Earth conveyed symbolically & His power. I 100% believe the Creation story it is true, but in that symbolic interpretation that ancient people wrote/told it in, not 21st century minute-counting." And I could go on with other examples. I don't believe people literally lived to 900+ years old. Literally an entire global flood. Etc. Other parts of scripture I very strongly believe are literally true- such as Christ literally raising from the dead. Others I don't know the blend literal versus symbolism, such as the Garden of Eden. Frankly, I don't really find that exact blend to matter on Eden or most other parts of scripture. Aside: speaking as somebody whom spent many years studying evolution and all-- science tells us how things occur. Faith tells us why. My job studying evolution and the natural workings of the world was me getting paid to be amazed at His craftsmanship. Understanding just the tiniest fraction of it and marveling.
  10. Do you not do chores, shopping, cooking, and other housekeeping over the weekend? That is part of our labors too.
  11. My daughter’s activity days tomorrow: having a lesson on goal making and passing out goal books.
  12. I know you mean well here, but you’re really off base here. As to why I was/am upset: I was being volunTOLD by somebody else what my goal “is” (according to ward leadership anyways). One that I was not consulted about (let alone agreed to) and in fact is counterproductive to growth in the gospel at my home. It way overstepping their domain.
  13. I think he was a bishopric member or someone from the stake presidency ? As to why I care: I could just not care what local leaders think. That is a valid option. But also feels cutting off connection to others when we are supposed to be supporting each other.
  14. I walked into Relief Society today and there is some dude here literally making an announcement of what everyone’s goal should be to have the missionaries in your house once a quarter as part of the ward mission plan. I really want to leave now. Ps: my husband hates missionaries and they are not welcomed at my house. This has nothing to do with the missionaries themselves (they usually nice people), but rather transfers. Hubby is very introverted and coming out of his shell only to have a missionary leave 6 wks later really burns him.
  15. I am hunting, it's just being very slow do to my internal batteries being so drained. Ironically, Oxford Health Insurance is on my list of possible things to apply to right now. I do data, not customer service.
  16. *Putting church stuff aside* FWIW: when it comes to making goals (like in general, I'm not talking church), I actually do see the purpose of micro-goals. If you're struggling or just overwhelmed, having your focus being on "just this one foot in front of the other" is very helpful. Yes, you want to have the big goal in mind so you're walking the right direction, but once that's established "one step at a time" can be very helpful. In fact at work right now, where I have a ton of tasks to do, I literally made myself I giant Word doc of all of these requests. When a new one gets added, I scroll down to the bottom, copy-paste it there, and then forget about it until I reach that point. Also, ironically I would be much much happier at work if I had a professional growth plan with my boss. Where I could develop and reap rewards from that. Not just "go Jane, gold star", but promotion, raise, etc. Where it's not a dead end.
  17. Honestly I just left the meeting. And keep doing so when it comes up.
  18. On one hand I 100% agree with you. On the other hand it's important to note, the way I'm seeing this play out in my ward, where leadership blatantly quote these type of books regularly, is they are focused on either non-temporal things (like goals for actually doing CFM with your family), or if it is temporal it's preparedness/self-reliance stuff. My ward has a lot of low-income college students, and I get the impression that leadership gets a lot of "save me!" requests related to poor management of temporal things-- a lot of young folks simply need a budgeting lesson. I don't know if that makes it any better (I'm kind of feeling "no") but that is part of the situtation. There's a lot of goals to have more scripture study, prioritize going to the temple, etc.
  19. Oh my ward routinely quotes several business self help books from the pulpit. And my boss quotes Joseph Smith at department meetings- by happenstance the 5 people in my dept are LDS Christians, despite the fact we live in a minority LDS area. Its a mixing of church and state Im not happy with. There’s a reason I avoid high LDS areas like the plague.
  20. A new job really would make things so much better. Unfortunately, the time & energy to apply is really in short supply. Mostly energy actually.
  21. @Grunt you and your "don't whine until noon" goal made me both laugh & happy cry. Thank you, this really resonated.
  22. Hi ThirdHour family. I need some hugs. Sorry I've been so quiet lately-- life has been very busy lately. And more than busy, draining. There is a lot of good things-- life is factually really good. My miracle baby boy is amazing, and big girl is learning so many things and growing into an expanding world with incredible flair. Husband is always the most loving rock. On the other hand, work is miserable. Ultimately this is a dead-end job that is downright taking advantage of me, demanding more and more miracles performed with impossible deadlines. It makes me utterly miserable-- feeling constantly behind & not good enough, despite me constantly delivering miracles. I now how much of my self worth & sense of accomplishment I (erroneously) put into my work. I leave every day exhausted to the bone & wanting to cry. Encanto's Louisa and I have much in common. I try to focus on the good things-- that my most important legacy is my family, not work. Try to leave work pains at work. Try occasionally to muster the emotional energy & time to do more job applications. Remember where my true value lies. Try to remember that I'm a great mom. Remember the importance of the dat of rest. Remember Christ & "peace be still". Trying to stop obsessively thinking I need to constantly be/do/more. Though... I am so tired and often fail. Example, I was up for three hours in the middle the night just sobbing & feeling like trash. Church lately is NOT helping. Rather it's actively hurting -- so many lessons on "we need be more productive & make more goals! Everyone get into groups & declare what new goal you will do this week, and then the group leader will text you tracking your progress. Remember if you didn't get things done, it's because you need to re-prioritize your life! Remember this quote from 'Atomic Habits'...." Over and over again. And it totally doesn't help that my boss & others are in ward/stake leadership positions. I....this is the opposite of what I need spiritually. I need shelter from the storm & rest, not lectures on doing more. I....honestly I'm writing this in tears, having had to shut off Stake Conference after more of the same. I'm just.... so tired. Thank you for listening to my story.
  23. Yes. I got called to be a Scout leader and had major ethical problems with the entire program*. Morally I couldn’t be involved, and talking to folks in leadership positions just made it worse. I was quickly released. And honestly it was the right call for everyone. *To clarify: I had major ethical problems with the way it was ran at church, and specifically in my ward. Scouts as scouts itself is fine.