Ray25

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  1. My story- I grew up in the church and never thought myself to do anything sexual before marriage. About three years Before getting married, something happened to me sexually from someone I thought I could trust. Anywho after this had happened I felt ashamed and felt it was my fault. My counslours Warned me that after bad sexual experiences, in my case ( forced) that I could potentially be sexually active in hope to change my “mental experience”. I started to feel comfortable again with men and myself, and soon I had a boyfriend. I found myself stuck in a very bad situation. He was a non member and didn’t understand why sex before marriage was a big deal. After months together, we were involved in a sexual relationship. Again I felt awful! And knew I had done something terrible, and couldn’t take it back. I went through the repentance process and eventually forgave myself for the sins I had committed. Now this story my husband does know about. My second story happened shortly after I broke up with the boyfriend in the first story. I had a new boyfriend and promised myself I wouldn’t ever make a sexual mistake again. I did. And I felt awful that it happened again. I went through the repentance process and eventually forgave myself for the second time. When my husband and I were dating, I told him everything I had done, except for this second boyfriend. He wasn’t very pleased, but he was grateful I had told him. This did haunt him for awhile, and we had a lot of problems come up because he kept asking me about it. To this day he still doesn’t know about this second boyfriend I made a sexual sin with. I repented and told my bishop everything in the process, but I still feel awful that my husband doesn’t know this. Is it wrong that I didn’t tell him? I guess you can say, I haven’t fully forgiven myself. It’s one thing to make 1 mistake, but 2 of the same mistake? That’s just pathetic. I hope you have some advice for me. Thank you for reading. Ray