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But you can't compartmentalize it. It is all part of the same rot.

And too much sensitivity gets us this: -------- In case you’re wondering, I told my stake president I was going to start dating. He’s alright with it as long as I stay “temple worthy.” One time he asked me where I’m meeting these gay LDS single men, and I laughed because I don’t know any others Florida besides myself. If I lived in the Mormon belt in the Western US, that would be more likely. I wish I could find single gay LDS or former-LDS men here in Florida because I think we’d have a lot in common. ------------ Awesome a SP allows a homosexual member to go on homosexual dates as long as he is "temple-worthy". Cool beans. Can I date other women in the spirit of obeying polygamy just making sure I don't have "sexual relationships" and still be "temple-worthy"?

I enjoy his book much. I disagree with this statement as I've yet to see an actual source for this idea which is quite common that he expressed regret. The only actual source I've even heard about is that he supposedly said this to one of his sons at the end of his life. Which I find quite odd, the book was published in 1969, he was alive for over a decade after it was published, he had ample opportunity to issue a revision, a statement, anything. But he didn't. We have no actual record of him ever expressing regret for the book. I think it's a way for people who dislike what the book says diminish it's teachings.

There are many good things on the Church's website; I disagree with some of the terms as used in common usage. I subscribe to much of what this guy states: http://www.thecleanslate.org/faqs/ After having my reckoning with God and my conversion. I do not agree with the addiction or recovery model that is banded about. "Shame leads us to believe that because we did something bad, we are bad. Guilt helps us to recognize that while we are good people, we made bad decisions." I do not agree with the above statement. Just because one is wicked does not mean that everything one does is an evil act. However, if one is spending multiple hours every day looking at two people (or more) committing one of the most intimate acts known to man or fantasizing about foreign flesh, that is a deep, deep indication of where our heart is at. That is an indication that our heart is not a good heart, it is a wicked heart-it is desiring sin-regardless of the reasons for desiring that sin. Just because one is wicked, does not mean good cannot come from that person. It just means that in their heart they desire sin and wickedness. And we all have some bit of evil desires and intents in our heart. The man who looks at porn once a month is at a vastly different level than one who looks at it every night. There is an idea (and it emanates from the top-so I don't blame people for latching onto it), that we are all good people who just have problems. That all we need to do is stop behavior. That behavior is all that matters. It's a false idea-it is not supported by scripture. The heart is where everything is located. Change your heart to desire something different and the behavior will naturally stop. No we live in an extremely wicked, wicked society which has lost almost all it's moorings to a God-centered life. You can't claim we live in a wicked society, wherein pornography runs rampant, broken homes are everywhere, men and women have lost their natural affection for each and then claim that the people who commit those wicked acts are just good people who make bad decisions. It's a way of reducing the gravity of personal responsibility and softening the very true nature of sin, wickedness and ultimately repentance to God and turning to live a righteous life. I can't tell you how honestly easy it becomes to stop . . .once your heart is changed. Progress Begins with a Change of Heart We often look for quick, simple solutions. However, the road to healing isn’t about quick fixes—it’s about living true principles that lead to a change of heart. Absolutely agree 100% with the above statement from the website.

The problem is that you have termed the porn as a rejection of you. It's not a rejection of you; it's a rejection of God. Too many woman, do not understand this simple fact. Porn does not have anything to do with the wife. Yes there are things that a wife can do that would drive a spouse towards committing adultery, towards porn, towards alcohol. But the actual sin itself; no one is responsible for that sin other than the person who commits it. And sin is a rejection of God.

No it is not. It is first and foremost a gross sin, a wickedness. I was steeped in that filth for decades and I gave the exact same excuses. I self-deluded myself, I lied to God about it. It wasn't until I finally came to understand it for what it really is that I was able to cast it from me forever-to where like the Scriptures say, I no longer desire to do wickedness. The same self-delusion, lies and excuses can be used for any sin. Adultery is first and foremost an intimacy disorder. Going to a nude bar is an intimacy disorder. It covers up the responsible party, which is you. Once I saw it for what it is, the lies and self-deception go away. Why did I look at pornography . . .it's simple because I liked it! I enjoyed the sin, boy did it feel good to fantasize about indulging in the natural man! It wasn't because of some mythical "addiction" (that was just another excuse), going to it every night, spending hours . . .why b/c I liked it!! There is no other reason why, there is no "intimacy disorder", anyone who claims otherwise has not fully conquered the sin (maybe in action but not in heart). I started when I was young too-I wish to God my parents had helped me out better-but I don't fault them b/c they did the best they could at the time. Then I became an adult and the excuses about blaming others, shoving the responsibility of my actions, my sins onto others could no longer work. No, the problem isn't that you don't have a real connection with another human being-it's that you don't have a connection with God. Yes exactly right, because you stopped the action, but you haven't change your heart. As such, there is a high likelihood you will return to it. Been there done that, returned to it like a dog to his vomit. I agree the Church is horrible at dealing with this, but not in the manner you think. They are horrible at it because they don't teach true doctrine about it-they have gone along with much of the world in trying to solve this problem (addiction recovery programs and the like). The addiction model of this is flawed to the nth degree. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. The reason you feel like this is because the inner vessel is not clean. A favorite scripture of mine: "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. 28Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity." A couple of pointed questions. How is your scripture study? Do you read the Word of God every day? Do you say a prayer morning and night? Do you say a prayer before your meals? Do you prayer together as a family? Do you read scriptures together as a family? Do you have Family Home Evening? Do you as the head of household take the lead in setting the example of righteous living? Do you lead your family? Of course your wife doesn't respect you. She has been married to a wicked man for years and as such whether she will admit it or not she will reject any of your counsel. Nobody wants to be lead by wicked leaders (except the wicked). But brother, you start becoming a Man of God and if she is righteous I guarantee you she will follow you anywhere! Convert yourself to Christ, convert yourself to knowing that it is only through Him that we can be cleansed. Start with something simple-start having family prayer. There is just something intangible about someone who is converted to Christ. People recognize it-they see it, in some way they know. Do I want people to know about my past sins, not particularly. Do I really care? No, I don't. I don't blast it out b/c most of the time it isn't relevant to who I am, where I am. My past sins aren't who I am now, my past wickedness is not who I am now. I still fall mightily, I still have plenty of my own weaknesses and sins. But I can truly say, that wickedness is gone. It's gone b/c of Christ. Because I was in the gall of bitterness, I was in the depths of hell. I saw myself stripped of all the excuses all the lies all the self-delusion, I saw myself standing before God at the end of my mortal existence and I was sore afraid. Change the inner vessel, become a man of God and I promise you in a couple of years when you look back you will be amazed at the miracles God has worked in your life. The happiness you seek, can't be found in other fantasies of the flesh, it can't be found in your wife, it can't be found in job. It can only be found in a living a life according to God's laws, being in compliance with His will. It can only be found in the peace that the Savior gives to those who repent, forsake their sins and come unto Him. It is my testimony, my witness as someone who has traveled down that path, changed my life and now I'm a much, much happier person.