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I appreciate you sharing this. I didn't go on a mission, so I might have some naive ideas about it. Everyone talks about how their mission was the best, and you don't hear about the difficulties as much. I hope that my son will be like yours and look back with satisfaction and gratitude for the experience. He also paid his own way, so I hope he feels good about that sacrifice, as your boys did. Thank you for giving me some hope. I do appreciate it. Maybe I need to get counselling, too, so someone can talk me through all of these feelings! I will struggle to love and support his decision tbh but you are right. He's hurting deeply. I wish I could talk him into staying. It's only 3 more months, but he's not getting transferred and will have been in the same place for 7.5 total months.

This does make me feel a lot better, knowing that it's normal. Thank you.

To clarify, I want to explain the timeline a little. He came home a year ago and waited for about a month for the church to give more information on what they would do with these missionaries. They were then given 2 options: go back out right away to a reassigned area or wait 18 months and then go back out. My son chose to go right away knowing that 100% it would be in the states. Although it was a temporary assignment, he understood that no one knew when things would open back up, meaning that he might stay in that new place until the end of his 2 years. If I've given the impression that a foreign mission is superior, I'm sorry. We don't see it that way, or else why would my son have chosen the route he did? Foreign or not, his new area has been more difficult for him. But he has stuck with it for almost a year. Finding out that they sent everybody back except him - and then realizing it's because of the depression, which came about because of covid and the new area - is the rub. I don't think he knew that taking meds would restrict him in the future. Maybe we are focusing on the wrong thing. But that "thing" would be being "punished" in being literally the only missionary not sent back. I promise we are not focused on how cool the mission is. I know people for whom the reassignment was a better fit, and they were happy to stay there. My son preferred to go back, though, and got his hopes up seeing others get sent back these past few months. I don't know if that makes any more sense than my original post.

Well, shoot. That sheds light on the subject, but it's so devastating for us. This is an advice forum. It doesn't seem to get much traffic, but maybe someone will have advice for me. I'm really struggling. Not at all with my testimony but with trusting the missionary program/administration. I have 5 more boys to go (possibly my daughter will go, too). The next one just got his call and is super excited. I am not. I'm struggling with feelings of betrayal and bitterness. I cry and cry almost every day. This is an honest question and does not come from a place of bitterness. Is it weird that no one contacted me about my son getting counselling and being medicated for depression? I know he's an adult, but we sent him out and entrusted him to "the mission." Is it normal to not have any communication with a mission president at all, ever? I don't even know his name. Anyway, he wants to come home now. I don't want him living in my house, and I'm not absolving him of his own part in it. But it's so hard not to have a bitter taste in my mouth. I wonder if my kids will be better off going to college instead of on a mission, because it didn't turn out well this time and I'm scared to do it again.

Thank you for your positivity. We are praying for him all the time and hoping that he will see it this way. Unfortunately, the new assignment has been worse in every way except the standard of living. He has been grateful for that. He became depressed in his new area during strict isolating rules, and he says they insisted he get counselling. He was put on anti-depressants. I don't know if that puts him in a position of ineligibility or not, but he wasn't depressed before the reassignment.

Thank you. I was mostly looking for sympathy when posting about this, and I appreciate getting a little.

Thank you for that talk! I will send it to him. I think what is the hardest right now is not knowing why. In the story you shared, he couldn't get a Visa, so he knew why he couldn't go. My son accepted his reassignment willingly, because covid was the reason. But when there's no reason? It's hard.

My Elder son has been serving in a "temporary assignment" for about 10 months after being evacuated from his original mission last Spring because of Covid. So...everyone in his MTC district, who were also reassigned, has now returned to the original mission. He's feeling overlooked and left out, because he's the only one who hasn't. His mission president told him that this new one is now his "permanent" assignment, but I don't know why he said that or if he is the one who decides. If this were anything other than the church, I would advocate for my kid and make sure they're treating him fairly. But, with the mission, do we just accept it on faith and endure to the end of the mission? And trust what the leaders are doing? It just doesn't seem right. He sees all of his missionary friends reuniting in the original field and posting on Facebook how happy they are to be back. What would you do? Who can I talk to?

Yes! I was raised this way; meaning, my mother taught us not to use the Lord's name more often than necessary, and only in reverence. I can't remember from whom or where I learned this, but inside the recesses of my memory is the idea that the church purposely didn't use an image of Christ on everything in an effort to be respectful. His image was reserved for holy places, such as the temple, church buildings, and formal living rooms in the home. Or, one might keep a bookmark with a painting of the Savior in your scriptures. As a Primary teacher in the early 2000's, we were instructed not to use cartoon images of deity. The only pictures the church wanted us to use were paintings from the Gospel Art Kit or similar ones. And, unless recently changed, the current handbook has strict guidelines about people dressing up and role-playing the Savior; again, presumably, out of reverence.

Thank you! Having some reassurance that the calling should not be given so much weight in our decision helps a lot. It's hard with emotions involved, but my mind cleared when I took the time to write out my thoughts. And even more clarity came when seeing a unanimous perspective here on calling vs family. I agree that moving might not change anything. That's possible. Do you think it's possible that it WILL change things? It is a fact that we would not be neighbors with this kid and he would not be ever-present anymore. It's easy to say I'm wishfully thinking everything would be better without him....but is it possibly true that everything would be better without him? Aren't some relationships toxic enough to cut them out of our lives? Anyway, that's where my mind is.

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