FairChild
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Posts posted by FairChild
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Perhaps a better question would be not should I tell my children, but when should I tell them?
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You are such a good dad and I know this is not easy for you. In this world there are choices and then consquenses that follow those choices, good or bad whatever the choices were. If it were me, I would tell my children that because certain choices are/were made, this is what follows. Most important, love your children. They are precious and times flies so fast when they are little. Perhaps people at AlaNon could give you some thoughts about how to handle your ex's screaming and blaming you. Tell the children that you will always tell them the truth and do that, even if it is difficult. Right now, they don't need the details. Keep a journal so that if needs be, they can read it and better understand what happened. There will be plenty of times for questions. Do your best to give your little ones loving and healthy memories. I hope my 2 cents worth helps.
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I can understand dating more than one person at a time, however, to give you the plus and minuses of how each one is graded for their qualities is just plain weird. Do you really want someone that would critize everything you do for the rest of your life? I would run and run fast. even if I were wearing heels at the time.
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Don't quit. I went through some very nasty depression and felt as you did. I was able to get help and the necessary medication and my life is much better now. Take care and you are in my prayers. FC
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I hope you journal, cause if you don't, this would be an excellent time to start. You just may need to document all the craziness that is going on, what you did and what happened after that. If nothing else, one day your son will be able to have your side of the story and it may help him, make a difference to him. Good luck.
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You got to remember that not everyone wil be pleased about everything you do. Just be the best person you can be and eventually, all the good will shine through.
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Sometimes the best thing to do is do your best.
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Twice I fell in love--> instantly. All it took was one simple glance at my newly born sons to know that I was forever and truly in love.
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you really should be so proud of yourself. you are holding up well in a difficult situation. way to go girl!
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Yea bug! Way to go!!
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Nobody sets anything on fire unless I am in the house and am fully awake.
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Hanne, just good to see you. That's all I care about. Take care. You as well as your little ones are so precious.
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Call a lawyer and ask, many times the first visit is free. It was for me. Call the local abuse shelter. They should be able to tell you who is a good lawyer to work with. Also ask who you should avoid. Do things in a legal matter, dot your eyes and cross your t's. You may have decided on joint curstody, but if his behavior to you is an indicator of what is to come, it sounds as if your child is in for some hard times ahead and you do want him protected. It won't cost you anything to do those things. It's worth a try. Also get yourself medically tested. If you pick up the wrong STD it is a death sentence and if something happens to you, would you really want him to be the only one left caring for and influncing your child?
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Either that or Alana is actually a spinster with a treasure horde of wild kitty cats.
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I take care of elderly and disabled people in their home and have a very flexible work schedule. It might be something you could look into. I am a PSS, Personal Support Specialist and to begin working at my job, you can begin it with on the job training until you can take some classes (I did mine on-line), ususally the company sets it up and payed for it. It is like bing a mom and a wife work wise. I wish you well.
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I'm concerned that if you don't go on a mission and marry her, you will regret that you missed out on many different experiences. Fortunatly you are young enough to take some time. If it is meant to be, she will be able to wait for you. What I worry about is the fact that you as you age, you change and you will not be the same person you are at 18. Honestly, you change a lot between the ages of 18 and 25. If you graduated so early from college, I wonder what your peer experiences have been like. You have not mentioned if she is a memeber of the church. I wish you both well.
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You are an amazing, well loved daughter of our Father in Heaven. That is what you need to remember most. Everyone, I mean everyone has made mistakes. What shows growth is what you do when you make one.
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I am glad things are looking up. Stay in contact and what you did buying food, was a very good thing.
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I know if I were younger, I would accept a man such as you. It isn't your children or the divorce or the fact you didn't go on a mission that has slowed your progress in finding a suitable companion, rather I think it is the insecurities of your self and lack of trust that hinder you in the dating world.
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Take your time, relax, enjoy the gospel and let yourself grow in knowledge. You don't have to have all of the answers right this second, rather it is better to understand that you are on the path that will lead you to our Heavenly Father. It may or not be in this church, but what you learn, you will find useful and good. Take that with you as you start your foundation.
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It sounds as if you have several different issues to deal with. First she married a controlling, abusive man. Second is that she divorced him. Third is the affair. Fourth is the example of the children. Fifth is the worry of what others would say if they knew. Sixth is she wants you to approve of a marraige that you disagree with the conditions of it. Plus you are expected to help with a wedding with a smiling face. That does not include your worries for future problems.
I think you need to concentrate on your own feelings and allow your daughter the right to make her own mistakes. It sounds as if you brought her up well, if so, she will return to her upbringing. Be the best example you can for her, her husband and your grandchildren. Decide on what you really want and use boundries. You are not required to give your blessing if you disaprove. Be kind and use lots of love. Keep doors open for later. You are not required to pay for a 2nd wedding. Talk to your grandchildren about the importance of marriage. Teach them about good and healthy relationships. Let them take the lead when they ask questions. Don't talk unhappily about your daughter or the situation to your grandchildren. Perhaps find a LDS councelor to talk your feeling out. S/he may give you some guidence on how to better cope with this situation and how to better lead your family in the paths of righteousness.
Prayers and good luck to you.
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Maybe there is just simply something wrong with everyone of us? Could be.
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Please get the help you need. I've been there, done that, own the TeeShirt. I know it is hard to do anything when the depression gets so bad, but it really will make a difference when you get the proper help. Take care and please update us so we all won't worry so much.
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Hope you come spend some time in chat with us. Welcome to the site.
Should I tell them?
in Advice Board
Posted
funkenheimer, you did a wonderful job loving your daughters this week end. You did an excellent job parenting.