Edelweiss

I know it's been a while. I was coming back to delete my account, but apparently that's impossible. I was referring to this quote above me. That was extremely hurtful. How can I even want to come back when someone like that MODERATES the forums?

I came here for emotional support, and now people are calling me a sinner. I cam here, hoping I could find someone who understands what I'm going through. Of course I'll forgive her, eventually. Some of you, actually did help me, and made good points. I understand I shouldn't have bud in, but I'll tell you exactly what I sent her. "(SIL), I know you wouldn't listen to my anger, but just think about this. What you're feeling right now is a high. It's temporary happiness. When I was 19, I was rebellious. Maybe not now, but I promise you're going to regret this. You may think this isn't the life for you, but you can't just run away from it all. You chose this. You made promises. Please don't run away from your family, (SIL). I've seen it happen way too much in my life. I'm not going to see it happen again. Please come back to (Name), (Name), & (Name). They love you. We all love you. What you've done is selfish. Being single is not what it's cracked up to be. The world is a horrible place. Family is where true happiness & safety is." I know I shouldn't have sent anything at all, but what's done is done. What she did, didn't just affect her husband and children. It affected her entire family. It's ok to worry about family isn't it? Anyway, this will be my last post. I will go elsewhere, where I won't be judged by those in charge. Thank You to those who gave me your advice, and didn't judge me. I was angry when I posted that yesterday.

Nevermind. It was wrong to vent here.

So let me explain the situation, that has not yet happened. My husband and I just got married 3 weeks ago today. He'sin college, and I'm not. I just got a job, which is good, because I've been really depressed, because he's always doing school work even on the weekends. School is a 45 min. drive, and gas prices are high. The reason we don't live near the school, is because he doesn't have a job, and I just recently got a minimum wage job. So we're living in a studio apartment attached to his parent's house. Not how I planned starting out our lives together, but if we were actually IN with them, it would be a lot worse. So at least we have our privacy a little. It's been really hard for me adjusting to this new life style. And I feel like the only depressed newlywed. All my other friends who are married, tell me how much they love married life. They're both in school though. I'm not, which makes me feel useless and inferior at times. So my husband gets a call from his sister, who has a 1 yr. old, and expecting this summer. Her husband is in college, and she stays at home, so they are in a tighter spot than we are. He's applying to the university my husband is in, and she was wanting to save some money and all of us get a 3 bedroom apartment together. I panicked at the idea. I started imagining all these scenarios. I mean, they're going to have a newborn AND a 1 yr. old. I want kids, but I'm not ready to have them as immediately as she did. I have never liked being pressured into anything. People at church keep asking us when we're going to have some little ones. I'm about to loose it. I don't want to have a baby because I feel like I have to. I want to have when, when "I" want to. I'm a little rebellious in the fact that when someone tells me to do something like getting married, or having a baby, I refuse to! Just in spite of them. I need time to adjust to living with a guy first. It's too much for me to handle having a baby right away, and they are expensive, and we have hardly any money, and then I'll be stuck with his in-laws. His Mom kinda annoys me sometimes, which I haven't told him. Anyway, it's just a possibility, but I'm stressing and freaking out over it. My husband is totally ok with it. Of course he is. It's his sister, and his best friend. I don't feel as close. Plus, I don't think I'll ever wants kids of my own, with someone else's constantly around me. Can someone please give me some advice. Am I overreacting? Is there anyway this will work, where I'll still want to have children of my own afterwards? I'm really scared, because I'm the only person who's against it.