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Showing results for tags 'inadequacy'.
So end of July I get married to an amazing man. I wish I had an idealized body for him to enjoy, which I don't; stress has me eating things I normally would not, and my current knee sprain injury is making workouts difficult to nonexistent; I am nervous about becoming a stepmom to his wonderful kids; I fear not having enough money in the future, a fear I've had most of my life; I'm ADHD and organizing all the details and remembering everything to be done is dreadfully challenging for me; part of me wanted to elope and avoid all the planning and prep work; we will be moving out-of-state the day after the wedding, and trimming away unnecessary things is hard, knowing what to take and what to let go; I'm doing my parents' remodel's finish work, and I still have base boards, back splash, refinish the deck, caulking, and touch up painting to do; currently out of Claritin-D; my wedding plans by default cannot be finalized until my fiance and I receive a clearance letter for his first sealing. The stress and anxiety feels borderline paralyzing at times. Any words of wisdom, talks, articles, scriptures, mantras ?
Hello, I'm writing this post to both "get this off my chest" and to get advice. First some background info: I served a mission some years ago and struggled with undiagnosed anxiety/mild depression. I was still able to function as a missionary but found the daily routines and social demands to be so great that towards the end of my mission I cried often due to stress/depression. So I really struggled with dailiy functioning. I never mentioned this to anyone, not even my companions, for fear of decreased acceptance or even rejection. I also thought that maybe I wasn’t being mentally faithful. Fast forward several years and I just graduated from college (struggled there as well) and moved with my family to a new city to take my first job out of college. Due to the slow hiring process with this company it took several months to get hired. During this time we had very little income and depended on assistance from the government and the church. When I finally did start my job I experienced some light “hazing.” The hazing threw me “over the edge” and I had my wife take me to the ER because I was having panic attacks/major depressive episodes. So I was finally officially diagnosed with panic disorder and dysthymia (mild chronic depression). With meds, therapy, and priesthood blessings I made a recovery such that my psychiatrist said that the panic disorder and dysthymia were in remission. Fast forward again to earlier this year. I got a calling to serve in a bishopric and one of the things that gives me a lot of stress are meetings and public speaking. As you know, in the bishopric you do a lot of both. I felt like the call was inspired and that God can help me do this calling but I’m struggling again with the feelings of depression, inadequacy, and anxiety. I’m still functioning but feeling miserable. I can’t pinpoint what the source of these feelings are. I am reading my scriptures, exercising, and both seem to help. I don’t like asking for help and would feel bad going to a priesthood leader to discuss these issues because 1) I don’t know who to speak with and 2) I know how busy priesthood leaders are and don’t want to place any more burden on them than what they already have. Anyone struggled with this or have any advice? Thank you!