Not Enough Time for a Calling?

[lilered]

Believe it or not, it is possible to spend to much time in Church service.

When my late wife was a child, her father neglected their family because he was spending so much time in Church service. He accepted every calling, volunteered for special projects, etc. Because he was so willing to help at church, the leaders kept giving him more callings and asking more favors of him. It got to the point where he was seldom at home and wasn't meeting his family's needs.

His wife (later my MIL) complained to the bishop about it, and he just brushed her off because my FIL was just "such a good guy" because he helped out all the time. So she complained to the stake president, and got a similar response from him. She kept complaining for a long time, but nobody listened until she got a tape recording of her husband verbally abusing her. She played the tape to the bishop, and he finally started rethinking the whole situation. Eventually, my wife's father got disfellowshipped for neglecting and abusing his family.

So yes, sometimes a person does not have enough time for another Church calling.

HEP

I guess I am a little bewildered. It sounds like your FIL was not such a good guy after all as evidenced by "abusing his family" and "verbal abusing her".

However, I doubt that the basic cause of his disfellowship was because he was spending his free time doing the Lords work. If it was, then a lot of Bishops would be disfellowshiped.

[ruthiechan]

I have read scriptures on breaks, on the bus, etc and I have also listened to music while doing the same things. For me the music is not distracting. Also, you can put your favorite hymns and audio scriptures onto your iPod.

I have found that reading scriptures while on breaks at work is rejuvenating. Ditto with praying.

One must also remember the cultural context. The Korean culture is very different from ours.

I guess I am a little bewildered. It sounds like your FIL was not such a good guy after all as evidenced by "abusing his family" and "verbal abusing her".

However, I doubt that the basic cause of his disfellowship was because he was spending his free time doing the Lords work. If it was, then a lot of Bishops would be disfellowshiped.

He likely did not start out being verbally abusive but because he was so busy he did not have enough time with his family to be able to have quality time. You have to have quantity to get the quality when it comes to family, and it was a slippery slope from there.

[ruthiechan]

I would also like to point out that people really should not have more than two callings at once. And definitely not two that require a lot of time out of your life. At least, that's what one of my Bishop's told me mother a few years ago. . .

[FayetteIA]

Let me see. If we are reading our scriptures, having daily prayer, reading the ensign or even visiting this website..it is safe to say we are actually spending a portion of our day on the church, as it were. I like the statement about our time and talents..we agreed to this..before we came here as babes. if we are member(s) we further agreed at baptism. To look back after the fact and say..hmm wait a min..I am not sure i agreed to that.....when our comfort zone is threatened. The Lord does not ask us to be perfect teachers, perfect counselors. He asks that we do our personal best.

In our small branch we have a limited "pool" to draw from of willing members who will serve. We wear many hats. I have found that this is not a problem, as long as I do my best and accept the calling(s) the Lord steps in and helps with the rest. Do I know where I find the time to serve 3 and 4 callings..no I do not..but a way is provided. If I look at a 24 hr clock/7 day week it is impossible..BUT..If I rely on the Lord and accept the calling, do my best..time is provided, resources are provided.

Callings are seldom for the growth of the ward or branch...they are for the individual. Even the ones where a "body" is desperately needed to fill a position..it is the same. Church callings are what you, allow them to be. How do you think the first Presidency does so much in their callings? They did not begin their church service as leaders...they agreed to serve. When you serve with your heart..ways are provided to fill the needs. The blessings that come from accepting a calling in the church is without measure to the person who serves, to their best efforts.

I have had many callings in the church. Some seemed so overwhelming I would shake at the thought of actually doing it..The Lord helped me each and every time. To any of you who shy away from callings..you are robbing yourselves of the most meaningful growth steps you will take in this life.

joni

[Guest HEthePrimate]

I guess I am a little bewildered. It sounds like your FIL was not such a good guy after all as evidenced by "abusing his family" and "verbal abusing her".

However, I doubt that the basic cause of his disfellowship was because he was spending his free time doing the Lords work. If it was, then a lot of Bishops would be disfellowshiped.

I would agree that he was not "such a good guy" at the time. It's just that the bishop only saw part of the picture. The bishop saw the man who was always smiling and willing to help out. What he didn't see was the part where the family was being neglected because my FIL was taking on too much other stuff. It took some time, but the bishop did finally see what was going on and took appropriate action.

It is true that my FIL was not disfellowshipped for doing the Lord's work--he was disfellowshipped for not doing the Lord's work. Taking care of his family IS the Lord's work. As I was taught by the Church, family takes precedence over the Church, and he was getting his priorities mixed up.

If it's just his free time we're talking about, a person is welcome to spend it working for the Church. If it takes away from the family's needs, he needs to reconsider and consult with his family and the Lord about what to do.

HEP

[Guest Username-Removed]

My Bishop is an incredible guy. I search, study and learn, and at times I am amazed at my progress ... But I always look like I'm standing still next to him. They guy is always in tune. He knows when I am in trouble, and when I am progressing. He greets me every Sunday and it’s like he's looking right through to my soul. I had a "dream" once. I didn’t know what it meant; only that it was a spiritual event. At our next meeting, It was all clear, and prophetic. He's been there for me many times. Every time I'm around him, I just want to soak up what he knows. But I realize he's got a job to do, and I try and make my contact with him quick and informative. Anytime he asks me to do anything, I am all over that. So, how do bishops get things done and have time for their families? Because those of us that know our bishop is truly chosen to lead us, know that when we are called to help, we simply do it. When we do, everything else falls into place. Other things become easier, work politics dies down, and the job is nearly automatic. It's a different level of service for sure; one that I am only too willing to exercise.

[mountainrider]

Believe it or not, it is possible to spend to much time in Church service.

When my late wife was a child, her father neglected their family because he was spending so much time in Church service. He accepted every calling, volunteered for special projects, etc. Because he was so willing to help at church, the leaders kept giving him more callings and asking more favors of him. It got to the point where he was seldom at home and wasn't meeting his family's needs.

His wife (later my MIL) complained to the bishop about it, and he just brushed her off because my FIL was just "such a good guy" because he helped out all the time. So she complained to the stake president, and got a similar response from him. She kept complaining for a long time, but nobody listened until she got a tape recording of her husband verbally abusing her. She played the tape to the bishop, and he finally started rethinking the whole situation. Eventually, my wife's father got disfellowshipped for neglecting and abusing his family.

So yes, sometimes a person does not have enough time for another Church calling.

HEP

I think that you usually have a handful of great families in every ward that are the glue that holds the ward together. They do mostly everything in the ward while many other members of the ward sit on the sidelines, for the most part. These families seem to volunteer for everything, serve in the most time consuming callings, etc. Sometimes even to the point of being taken advantage of. "Oh, brother so and so will do it"......."don't worrry, sister so and so will get it done". I think we need to be careful when we keep asking the same people over and over and over again to do things in the ward just because they are willing. We had direction from the stake presidency to talk about being overwhelmed in the church in our ward councils. Obviously the stake presidency is concerned about people "doing too much"

[Maureen]

I was reading the Ensign this morning and I read this story about some members over in Hong Kong. Most of them work over 50 hours a week and some 70 hours a week. Yet they still have time to spend 5-15 hours a week in their church callings which include Young Women President, Counselor in the Stake Young Men Presidecy, Counselor in the Ward Sunday School Presidency, and more!

Making Time to Be Holy - Ensign - June 3008

By Adam C. Olson

I want to know where your time machine is and if I can borrow it?

M. :)

[Guest Username-Removed]

HAHA! Sorry about that! Yes, you can borrow it anytime!