Newly Married

[HalleysComet]

Originally posted by Kevin@Jan 29 2004, 12:35 PM

Here's a good policy:

Never be alone with a member of the opposite sex (other than your spouse). My wife and I agreed to this when we were married and have adhered to it very closely. If a couple follows this policy they keep themselves from situations in which they may compromise their marriage vows.

If you can't be alone with the opposite sex w/o temptation or trusting your signifigant other you shouldn't be together. Marriage is based on both love AND trust. If you don't have that than you don't have much of a relationship.

Moonshine

[Jenda]

Originally posted by HalleysComet+Jan 30 2004, 07:30 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (HalleysComet @ Jan 30 2004, 07:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Kevin@Jan 29 2004, 12:35 PM

Here's a good policy:

Never be alone with a member of the opposite sex (other than your spouse). My wife and I agreed to this when we were married and have adhered to it very closely. If a couple follows this policy they keep themselves from situations in which they may compromise their marriage vows.

If you can't be alone with the opposite sex w/o temptation or trusting your signifigant other you shouldn't be together. Marriage is based on both love AND trust. If you don't have that than you don't have much of a relationship.

Moonshine

You go, girl! Exactly what I was thinking. Love and trust.

[Winnie G]

First I have to say your right he is not dead but it can be a pain at times,

I once watched my husband and our two oldest at the time teenagers, become strutting Peacocks in front of my eyes coming out MacDonald’s as a very pretty young women walk across their path to the car, I was walking a ways off dealing with the smaller two children. When before my eyes they changed in to Peacocks checking out the girl changing the way they walked and even my own husband sucked in his belly and took up walking just like our sons, after the girl was out of ear shot I cleared my voice and said “honey I pull in your tail fathers if I were you it shows” He know I saw what just happened and he turned red and said “Sorry Babe” Don’t sit there and not say any thing, it’s a impulse that will die down but never go way. Their MEN what can I say.

Never be alone with a member of the opposite sex (other than your spouse)

That is been good advice for years that was standard church policy, its being above reproach. Dose not every member know that? If not they should and practice it.

It is also practice that women meeting in the church in small groups have the main lobby doors locked.

We use to live in a smaller church area and we cleaned our own chapels, small groups would do this but the doors were locked.

There are a few stranded rules church members fallow.

Is this an unknown thing????

I remind my daughter at times because she baby sits once in a wile for our neighbor and the husband will drive her home, she is a married women now and I really impress upon her to ask the wife to drive her home. This is an army base as well and I wont have my daughters name in what is called Tide Box gossip.

[Guest]

thanks for your all your advice, but it doesn't seem like things are getting any better. he still continues to have lunch with her alone in the cafeteria (although he doesn't consider it alone, since other people are around them at OTHER tables), and now he said that they are going to be partners for their job. so the fun keeps continuing! Oh well ... not much I can do I guess. But thanks though!

[cedar]

Originally posted by HalleysComet+Jan 30 2004, 08:30 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (HalleysComet @ Jan 30 2004, 08:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Kevin@Jan 29 2004, 12:35 PM

Here's a good policy:

Never be alone with a member of the opposite sex (other than your spouse). My wife and I agreed to this when we were married and have adhered to it very closely. If a couple follows this policy they keep themselves from situations in which they may compromise their marriage vows.

If you can't be alone with the opposite sex w/o temptation or trusting your signifigant other you shouldn't be together. Marriage is based on both love AND trust. If you don't have that than you don't have much of a relationship.

Moonshine

Comet,

I think you missed Kevin's point. A marriage should not be based on ignorance!

"hey honey, lisa and I had a great lunch today"

"lisa the supermodel?"

"oh c'mon I'm not attracted to her"

"so she is ugly?"

and the fight begins...

[cedar]

Originally posted by Jenda@Jan 30 2004, 09:01 PM

You go, girl! Exactly what I was thinking. Love and trust.

don't forget ignorance.

[Guest Jgirl]

men are nieve when it comes to women. they never really get it when a women likes them, my fiance got a call a while back from an ex (from 4 years ago, and a one month relationship)! and they chatted. (he mostly about me) i knew it was something more, but 'no, whatever' he claimed. why after all this time, did she just randomly call? and yes, a week later the 'i love you, i dumped my boyfriend to come back to you' speech was heard. he was shocked, i wasnt. it went well, and he had admitted he had found his soul mate, and wasnt interested in her at all. she understood and wished him well. thing is- this is the real world, and wheither your Lds or not there are going to be people trying to break up a good relationship. It happens more and more these days. There are so many influences, and infidelity is becoming a result of these infleunces. i remember hearing in my celestrial marriage class that husbands and wives should never go to lunch, or out singly with women or men of the opposite sex, even if its work related. invite others, or just don't do it. work is work. social functions? bring your partner! offices? have a picture of your spouse on your desk. be reminded that he/she is the one you'll be returning home to. Sometimes i feel that my fiance is looking at other women too. He claims he doesnt, and truth is i trust him with all my heart, and everyone knows that i am paranoid, but then again i too recognise a good looking female and male when i see them. Theres a difference. you can look at people, observe etc. everyone does it. But- in my opinion obvious checking out is embarresing to your partner. Disrespectful as well. Don't be a push over, and don't think just because your married that these things are irelevant. :-)

[Guest lt]

Look I understand what you are saying...However tell him how you feel..you have a rigt to your feelings and if he gets angery about it...say (you know maybe I'm out of line, lets talk to the bishop and hear his point of view, maybe he could clear things up for me so I dont take it wrong)...(but sound calm when you say it....It will definately make him think, because he will know that the bishop will think its a big no no......

Laureltree

[cedar]

Originally posted by Jgirl@Feb 24 2004, 08:45 PM

men are nieve when it comes to women. they never really get it when a women likes them, my fiance got a call a while back from an ex (from 4 years ago, and a one month relationship)! and they chatted. (he mostly about me) i knew it was something more, but 'no, whatever' he claimed. why after all this time, did she just randomly call? and yes, a week later the 'i love you, i dumped my boyfriend to come back to you' speech was heard. he was shocked, i wasnt. it went well, and he had admitted he had found his soul mate, and wasnt interested in her at all. she understood and wished him well. thing is- this is the real world, and wheither your Lds or not there are going to be people trying to break up a good relationship. It happens more and more these days. There are so many influences, and infidelity is becoming a result of these infleunces. i remember hearing in my celestrial marriage class that husbands and wives should never go to lunch, or out singly with women or men of the opposite sex, even if its work related. invite others, or just don't do it. work is work. social functions? bring your partner! offices? have a picture of your spouse on your desk. be reminded that he/she is the one you'll be returning home to. Sometimes i feel that my fiance is looking at other women too. He claims he doesnt, and truth is i trust him with all my heart, and everyone knows that i am paranoid, but then again i too recognise a good looking female and male when i see them. Theres a difference. you can look at people, observe etc. everyone does it. But- in my opinion obvious checking out is embarresing to your partner. Disrespectful as well. Don't be a push over, and don't think just because your married that these things are irelevant. :-)

Well put. This is what Kevin was saying earlier, but unfortunately, Jenda had to rush in and say that there is no reason to be super careful Well I say be very careful and I am glad you agree. So he is your fiance now? Or you two are married?

[cedar]

Originally posted by Ldsgrl2004@Jan 22 2004, 08:11 AM

eh the last thing I am concerned about is his lazyness!

He isn't lazy, he is just channeling his energy in the wrong direction. Just say, "if you could do well at your job like you do well at vegitating on the couch, you would be promoted twice by next year" Then try to sell your tv or give it to the di

[Guest Mandy]

The prophet says men should not go out to lunch with other women alone. I believe that was a talk given at the April 1997 General Conference. Simple as that. It will save him a great deal of trouble in the future. Affairs, even emotional ones, are detrimental to all involved.

How long have you been married? Stay involved, and communicate as much as possible.

[Joette]

Lay down the Law girl this woman may or may not have her eyes on your man but don;t take the chance.

I know two people whose marriages broke up because both men were helping out a damsel in distress.

Ask him how would he feel if you were lunching alone with a bloke??

What is the most important thing to him that you feel happy & comfortable or that you are miserable imagining this girl with your hubby.

Appeal to his manliness-tell him it makes you feel all vurnerable & scared.Go to the Temple together & have him remember his promises.

As to the laziness.I have a friend whose husband was just so lazy around the house.He had never had to do anything before.She would say things like"Oh if we just did this together we could get it finished & then do whatever" She also made a big deal out of whatever he did.Great guy noa

[MorningStar]

I've been married for 11 years and I don't think I would be comfortable with my husband having female friends. I don't believe anyone is affair proof and if we were going through a hard time, I wouldn't want him crying on another woman's shoulder. I gave up my guy friends when I got married because I didn't want my husband to feel uncomfortable. He didn't ask me to, but I felt it was important.

If you think your husband is worldly, then do unworldly things together as much as possible. I don't know what to say about him checking out other women. I've never witnessed my husband doing that or maybe he's smart enough not to do it when I'm looking. :)

Also, I would suggest a "honey do" list for your husband. A lot of men I know don't do anything around the house unless they're asked to. My brother gets a list and it works for him.