Lost boys.

[Fiannan]

Dude! Why guys aren’t growing up - Relationships - Today.msnbc.com

No, it doesn't have anything to do with the 1980s vampire movie, or the FLDS but it does have a lot to do with the mentality of not wanting to grow up as the characters in Peter Pan represent. Is pampering our youth leading to many becoming unable to dope with responsibility? Any thoughts on this article?

[pam]

I'm not sure if pampering would be the right term. Perhaps taking a lackadaisical approach to parenthood would be more appropriate.

Children these days are being brought up in the world of technology. Technology that can do almost everything for them. They are no longer having to think for themselves, do anything for themselves. I think children today aren't growing up with the same respect for work, in respecting the things they own. In respecting the things their parents work for. Not all but I would say a great number.

TV, video games, dvd movies have become a babysitter for a great many. These become the lives of so many. Children spend so much time in front of these things I worry that they at times have a hard time distinguishing between reality and virtuality.

Maybe pampering would be correct in that..I've seen many households where children did not have responsibilities in being a member of a household.

Let me give one example. I worked with a guy who had two teenage children. I mentioned once that I had told my kids that before I got home from work I wanted 3 things done...their bedrooms cleaned, dishes put in the dishwasher and everything vacuumed. He was mortified that I would ask that of them. He and his wife were of the opinion that children should be allowed to remain children until they left home. His wife made their beds everyday, did their laundry, did everything for them.

Now not to downplay what their parenting styles were...but how are children to know how to live in the real world without responsibilities? Without learning how to do the basic things in life that would allow them to live in the real world as adults?

I believe we set our kids up for failure in giving them all the technological wonders of the world. At least my kids understand that if they want their cell phones they have to pay the bill and pay it on time. If they want to drive their cars, they have to pay for the gas and the car insurance or they don't have a car to drive. If they want clean clothes, they need to learn to do laundry and take responsibility for that chore. I hope I've taught my children to be self reliant in many aspects. Many I see just aren't.

Edited August 31, 2008 by pam

[HiJolly]

Dude! Why guys aren’t growing up - Relationships - Today.msnbc.com

No, it doesn't have anything to do with the 1980s vampire movie, or the FLDS but it does have a lot to do with the mentality of not wanting to grow up as the characters in Peter Pan represent. Is pampering our youth leading to many becoming unable to dope with responsibility? Any thoughts on this article?

Freudian slip?

HiJolly

[pam]

hahahahahahaha For many..maybe not.

[Soulsearcher]

I'm kinda mixed on how i feel about adding responsibility to kids. I agree that they need some idea what the real world is like. However i have seen some parents take this to an extreme and by 8-12 the kids are running the house hold while the parents are at work and the kids then have little to no free time to be kids, or they are to worn out to have fun. Need to make sure we find that happy medium.

[pam]

Yes I have seen that go to the opposite extreme as well. I agree..happy medium.

[Nibowaka]

Book: The Case Against Adolescence by Robert Epstein, Ph.D. (warning! may upset some people)

In general, I believe in giving responsibilites based upon competence, while balancing the need for free time and enjoyment. Actually, I suppose this applies to people of any age.