Sealings

[Kyra]

This is a real area of concern for my husband, so I was hoping maybe someone could give me an answer.

My MIL was married and had 3 children with her first husband before he died. She remarried my FIL and had my husband and his brother. Because she is sealed to her first husband, she couldn't be sealed to my FIL. It really bothers him that he was born under the covenant of his mom and her first husband which leaves him sealed to a man he's never met.

I try and tell him that it doesn't matter right now and that he shouldn't worry about it. I also tell him that he's sealed to me and our two daughters now, and that is what's really important. To be honest, it kind of hurts my feelings sometimes that our family doesn't seem like enough for him. I try not to think about it, because that's not a situation I have to deal with. But I guess I can see where he's coming from, it would probably bother me too.

So can anyone offer advice on this? As far as I know this isn't really something that's covered in the bishop's handbooks or anything, but I wish I could tell him something that will comfort him a little bit. He and I are a lot different about stuff like this. I just know that God has a purpose for everything and it will all work out in the end. Shaun has to have a reason for things.

[deseretgov]

D&C 130:2

2 And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.

[Guest tomk]

This is addressed in "Believing Christ" and "Following Christ" -- books by Stephen Robinson.

The answer is essentially this. We are held to the light and knowledge we possess. We will have righteousness accounted unto us for our DESIRES and what we BECOME.

The Lord will make right the wrongs and injustices -- the grey areas that have no satisfactory resolution IN THIS LIFE.

We are promised a fullness of joy. A fullness. We will be completely satisfied, including who we end-up staying with for eternity. We won't be "stuck" with someone we married who we won't be happy being with in the eternities. That would not be a fullness of joy.

We don't need to agonize over these things. We just need to have faith and do the best we can.

There is no "wrong way" to feel about these things. We feel the way we feel.

Salvation, for each person, is between that person and the Lord. This includes not just our eternal fate, but our day to day existence and worries. We are to bring those to the Lord. Based on how your husband seems to be feeling -- my guess is he has not taken his concerns to the Lord.

[Guest tomk]

Your husbands insisting on things having a reason is a form of pride. "If the Lord won't explain it to me, then I won't listen and I won't be at peace."

Whereas, the humble attitude would be: "Lord, I do not understand all things, but I know you do, and I have faith that you will make things right in the end, even if, in this life, for a season, I am called upon to endure suffering for things I have no control over. Please help me to bear my burdens with faith and patience."

[BenRaines]

If you and your husband have been sealed to each other in the temple that is the sealing that matters. It is about couples and their eternal progression. When my daughters married their husbands in the temple they became sealed to them. Sure we are sealed as a family but they are now their own eternal family unit. That is the important sealing.

Ben Raines

[Guest tomk]

Ben is right, of course. It is the sealing to your spouse. If God had his will obeyed, we would all dwell in everlasting burnings as couples.

As I read Ben's reply the following entered my mind:

D&C 132: 7

7 And verily I say unto you, that the conditions of this law are these: All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations, that are not made and entered into and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, of him who is anointed, both as well for time and for all eternity, and that too most holy, by revelation and commandment through the medium of mine anointed, whom I have appointed on the earth to hold this power (and I have appointed unto my servant Joseph to hold this power in the last days, and there is never but one on the earth at a time on whom this power and the keys of this priesthood are conferred), are of no efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead; for all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end when men are dead.

In other words -- it is not just sufficient to ENTER INTO the eternal marriage covenant.

That ordinance must be SEALED by the Holy Spirit of Promise (Christ) in person.

D&C 88: 3 Wherefore, I now send upon you another Comforter, even upon you my friends, that it may abide in your hearts, even the Holy Spirit of promise; which other Comforter is the same that I promised unto my disciples, as is recorded in the testimony of John.

D&C 124: 124 First, I give unto you Hyrum Smith to be a patriarch unto you, to hold the sealing blessings of my church, even the Holy Spirit of promise, whereby ye are sealed up unto the day of redemption, that ye may not fall notwithstanding the hour of temptation that may come upon you.

[tubaloth]

I just know that God has a purpose for everything and it will all work out in the end. Shaun has to have a reason for things.

Faith is not having a complete knoweldge of how things are going to work out. In the end we have to trust our Heavenly Father, that the plan of salvation (in the sealing power) is perfect! If there is doubt in the system God has in place could lead to doubts in other areas in the gospel.

Trust in the Lord.

[countrygirl66]

Hi Kyra

Thought I would add my own experience. Hope it is of some use to you. I have 7 bio brothers and sisters. I am sealed to my adopted family. Noone else is sealed anywhere. One brother can't bear the thought of being sealed to our (stepmonster) so he isn't sealed to a mother and father. My some other siblings couldn't bear the thought of being sealed to our bio mom, let alone their father/doners. My question that I have pondered over the years is "Why don't we get to be sealed together as brothers and sisters?" We didn't do anything wrong, we didn't break any rules. The only answer that I have come to is this. (my answer not doctrine) Heavenly father loves all of his children equally and intends for heaven to be a joyous reward for us. I feel that I will somehow have my brothers and sisters there. I feel that we will be a heavenly family in a way that we can't comprehend here on earth. Imagine no bad people or behaviors. Imagine remembering each other. I also "feel" (not doctrine) that we had a prior relationship with people we know in this life. I think that we all really loved my bio dad - bio mom - and step monster. I don't think the lord will withold any relationship or blessing from us in the eternities if we live worthy. I feel for your h. It can be so hurtful to think of those you love not being a part of your eternal family. I just for myself don't think it will work in heaven like it does here. Take care.

[Kyra]

Thanks everyone. I think I worded things wrong before. I guess it's a matter of pride to a point, but not as much as I made it sound. I just don't really know how to put it into words I guess. This is one thing that he struggles with and the more I've thought about it, the more I think it's because he's worried about his dad. His dad is a convert, the only one in his family, so he's not sealed to anybody. I think he is happy, and that me and our girls are enough for him, but he wonders what will happen to his dad. This has been on my mind a lot lately, and this is the only thing I can come up with that makes sense. It makes sense I guess, I would probably worry about that too.

[Maureen]

...His dad is a convert, the only one in his family, so he's not sealed to anybody. I think he is happy, and that me and our girls are enough for him, but he wonders what will happen to his dad...

You should ask your Bishop about sealings regarding deceased women who have been married more than once. From the CHI:

Deceased Women

A deceased woman may be sealed to all men to whom she was legally married during her life. However, if she was sealed to a husband during her life, all her husbands must be deceased before she can be sealed to a husband to whom she was not sealed during life.

I am suspecting that the reason for this would be in the here-after, a women would have the choice of who she wishes to be with eternally.

M.

[pam]

Wait...let me make sure I understand the OP as this is something I never knew. So a learning experience for me. So...your husband was born to a different father than what the three original were born to? Someone your MIL was not sealed to?

Let me make sure I understand the scenario before I ask my further questions or make further comments.

[Kyra]

Wait...let me make sure I understand the OP as this is something I never knew. So a learning experience for me. So...your husband was born to a different father than what the three original were born to? Someone your MIL was not sealed to?

Let me make sure I understand the scenario before I ask my further questions or make further comments.

Yes. My MIL was married to a man named Tim. They had 3 kids and he died in a freak oil field accident one day. She got remarried to my FIL and with him had my husband and his little brother, but she couldn't be sealed to him because she's already sealed to Tim.

Because my MIL was sealed to Tim, all children born to her after that were born under that covenant. So even though he's gone, my husband and his brother were born under their covenant. So technically my husband is sealed to a man he never met.

[pam]

Okay that is something I never knew. I never knew that children born to another man would automatically be sealed to the original husband. Learn something new every day. Here I've been a member all my life and never heard or learned this.

Edited November 18, 2008 by pam