The Goodness of Singledom

[Heavenguard]

I know that in LDS marriage is a very important teaching, as one must be sealed in order to ultimately achieve exaltation, if worthy. I wonder, however, about the goodness of singlendom.

Paul wrote in the much-referenced 1 Corinthians 7 the goodness of remaining single - that is, one can devote him (or herself) entirely to God's work, and not have his (or her) attention and priorities divided. (Abridged-by-me NIV version below.)

Now, I'm not trying to argue that marriage is bad and gets in the way of ministry. (Indeed not, as I've always known that I myself would like a family, and that one's spouse can be a great support.) However the seemingly heavy emphasis on marriage in the LDS teaching brings me to recall some Biblical big wigs who were not married, at least as far as we know: Elijah - who never saw death, Elisha, Samuel, John the Baptist, and, of course, Paul. And indeed these men did throw themselves entirely in their ministries.

I understand that most of what Paul was saying seems to be under the idea that there would be heavy persecution and/or the end times approaching soon. But to say "But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." seems to fall beyond the scope of immediate threat or harm. It reminds me of Ephesians 4:

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ."

Just as my friend who's been in jail has a special circumstance in which only he can effectively minister to those around him, I think also singles can have special circumstances in which they can effectively minister.

And although I believe the disciples were wrong to conclude so (unless they meant the second marriage), Jesus' response seems poignant (Matthew 19):

Jesus: "... I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."

Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Do I have a conclusion? No. I often don't around here; as with other times, I am just making my observation and looking forward to the discussion that ensues.

And now, the abridged-by-me text of 1 Cor 7:

Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. ... (Stuff about husband belonging to wife, wife to husband) ... I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

... (Lalala, don't divorce, unbelieving partners, serve in whatever situation you are in) ...

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

...(Life is short, don't get attached to earthly things)...

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.

39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Edited December 6, 2008 by Heavenguard
Too many indeeds in one sentence... indeed.

[LolaBella]

I understand what you're getting at. When I moved away to college when I was younger, I absolutely relished the time I had, and with hindsight, it was a very important time for me in learning who I was. I think a lot of people jump from home to marriage with no real time in between to get to know themselves. I had friends and boyfriends of course. But when I was single I really loved that time I had on my own to think, to read, or just do whatever I wanted. I've always been the type of person who likes their own company anyway, but I am really grateful for that time that I had as a single woman/girl to get to know myself. It has stood me in good stead for my marriage.

[Justice]

The first commandment given to man is to multiply and replenish the earth.

I don't think that means you have to do so NOW. But, it should be everyone's goal to keep this commandment. Therefore, the need for marriage.

[Elgama]

I really believe the more content you are as a single person the more content you will be when married. I enjoyed my single years they were fun and I had opportunities to serve and give time to things I could not as a Mum of young children. Without single people the church would fall apart as quickly as it would without families we need what everyone can bring to the church.

You can serve the Lord now with a singleness of heart and mind that is just not possible when you have a husband and small children for example if I was single I could have got myself to bed early tonight instead of waiting for laundry, I would have been more refereshed in my classes and I would no doubt have been able to have arrived half an hour earlier allowing time to meditate and invite the spirit in. I also think this is a time to relish uninterrupted prayers, scripture study and church lessons. You can learn more academically as a single person than you can as a married person when the learning is largely physical and practical (not inferior) and its great to have both behind you.

-Charley

[Heavenguard]

To say that to multiply and populate was God's first commandment and that we are to keep it, would it be right to say that the men and prophets mentioned in my first post failed to keep this command?