Heavenguard

Change passwords is a must, no matter what. Also, have her contact her host (for the website and her email); they likely have measures to stop people like him as well. She should also contact both her and ISPs and present as much evidence as possible. It's possible he might have opened up some ways for him to get to her computer via the internet, or wrote a program, or even installed something that allows (usually legitimate) remote access to a computer. If he actually did something to "tinker" around with her computer or settings, she could try... Do a system restore to a point safely far away enough before they broke up. Look for any programs in the add/remove programs that aren't supposed to be there (but I suspect it wouldn't be as obvious as that) Failing that, a little more drastic, but still keeping it within her own power, is to reformat her computer, effectively getting rid of anything he could have done. He may have opened up some ports on her router, in which case she could try to default her settings.

I'm not surprised; I was raised Baptist. I'd never really heard anything particularly anti-Mormon my entire life, but there was always the attitude that the LDS were bad people that threatened the Gospel, but I never knew what was so bad about them Mormon folk. So I decided to find out for myself. (Cue LDS.net's entry here.) And now I can see it from both sides. But you know what? It's not just the LDS. It's a general thing that the Church does not get along with differing ideas. I look at the way the church (or at least the part of the church that's vocal enough to get their agenda out) treats people of differing sexuality. My personal opinion is that we need to approach it with love, but instead, I do see the angry mob with pitchforks that Bytor saw at CARM - and this whether Evangelical Christians or LDS. Really, the single most important thing in any relationship between any two people or two groups of people is recognizing the other person, or other group, as individual person/s. When we fail to recognize there's a whole, individual person there that is not defined by that one difference, it is impossible to understand, and so also impossible to love, that person.

I've not been married (and of course, certainly not divorced and certainly not with kids), and neither have I experienced divorce as a kid in the middle, but one thing does make a whole lot of sense to me: premarital counseling. Taking the time before marriage to make clear expectations and work things out will prevent a lot of dissapointment, anger, and frustration later. A lot of times newly weds sort of just trip over each other till they work things out, but sometimes things don't get worked out, and if there are kids involved (esp. two sets of kids), there a lot less space for things to get sorted out out as they go along. Not first hand experience on my part, but step parents can greatly enrich a child's life. My older cousin is really my step-cousin, but "really", she's my cousin. My uncle raised her since before I was born, and their family is like any other loving family. My friend's dad is a step-dad, but in her eyes, there's no "step" in his title. Same with another couple I know where the biological father passed away, their dad is just their dad, minus the step. Both parties need to be totally serious and mindful about the children and the children's needs. Both parties need to be able to love the others' children and willing to be a parent. Both parties needs to realize that the kids will always come first, as in any healthy, nuclear family.

Have your goal be to make friends, not boyfriends. It's easier to talk to someone who is your friend rather than someone who is just a crush. And those sorts of relationships are much more enjoyable, because you're not pressuring yourself into thinking all sorts of things, like does he like me? What does it mean when he does XYZ? And you'll gain some friends. If someone from those friends becomes interested, then let that fall where it may.

Just thought I'd point out my observation: The couple was asked to stop. If the kiss (or display of affection) were a peck (or perhaps a quick hug), there would be no way to ask them to stop, because the action would have been over by the time the request were made. One can only be asked to stop if the action is still being sustained or repeated. It'd be like telling someone to stop sleeping after they've woken up. Well, that's logically speaking, anyway. Of course you can tell someone to stop sleeping after they've woken up, but it just wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, is all.

Deals with God... usually don't work. Or they don't work out the way you expect or would like. Do you have some friends you could talk to? I myself just called out my best friend to talk about some needs I have, and she told me hers. We didn't really resolve any of our issues, but it's alwas helpful to be able to talk things out with a sympathetic someone.

I've learned two things in the last year or so. The first is that the right diet will help greatly for many things. The second is that the right diet for one person may not be the right diet for you. If (mostly financially) possible, when there are health implications involved, it is a good idea to get consultation for a personally catered diet. Complimentary medicine can really help. I would never advise replacing regular medicine with complimentary (aka alternative) medicine, but they can work well together.

Oh my, I do believe I have the vapours! As stated earlier, the standard for modesty has changed, and will continue to, through time. Even the garments would be too immodest for the 1700s and earlier, I think. The trend is to go with less and less covering, I think... perhaps we'll return to the Garden of Eden look? (Non-LDS opinion flying thru!) I don't think either of those dresses are immodest. I do think that the women in the dresses are a little unrealistic, though.

Allison could always become a middle name by which you refer to her - some people do that. Then her name can still by Chaelee, but be familiarly called Allison. Or you can pull an Indiana Jones and just unofficially adopt the name :)

It shames me when other Christians, esp Baptists (as I am one) act like that. Shoulda seen some of the attitude that went around in my group when we were talking about reaching out and listening to our gay neighbours. Anyhow, Jesus taught us to love. That's all I got. If this guy cant figure it out, well, be the better example. I would not try to refer this person to any passages in the Bible about loving your neighbours. He will probably be offended that a heathen point out his religious flaws and get an even worse attitude. If you bring cookies and try to make friendly and he rejects it, then try to at least have an agreement to be civil and neighbourly, as you are neighbours. Maybe some ground rules would help. Perhaps you could both agree not to speak to each other about religion/faith? I know most people see Mormons and try to avoid as best they can because they don't want to be preached at.

I had a random question regarding garments cross my mind. I wanted to ask how a lady manages with garments when when wearing swimwear? Swimwear is typically skin tight and although I'm good with wearing a one-piece, compared to regular day-wear, that's still not particularly modest. I know garments are a sensitive issue with non-members, but it is just a curiosity and I really don't mean anything by asking. Edit: I know this isn't seeking advice, but I figured why make a new thread about it? But I will if mods feel like I should.

ServiceDogHandler, I have never been in your position, and so I may not be qualified to say so, but it sounds to me like you're doing everything right. You've let relevant and important people know, and you have people who are willing and trying to help you out. Even your landlord is trying to get you in another physical location. If anything else, perhaps you could let some neighbours know, if you are comfortable enough, and ask them to call police if they should hear an airhorn coming from your place of residence (if you decide to go with the airhorn idea). Otherwise, I just want to commend you for being a strong, caring, and smart woman whom I'll bet never deserved even a passing shadow of terrible man like he.

For most of my life, I got along with guys better than girls. I grew up as a tomboy, so... you know. Although my best friend for the last maybe 5, 6, 7 years of my life is a girl, sometimes in certain situations I still find more comfort and solace in some of my male friends when I'm feeling down and out. Of course, when I was still with my boyfriend, I always turned to him first. And now that we're no longer together, I turn to those guy friends. From years of friendship, they know I don't mean anything by it other than needing my friends. Before I was dating my recent ex-boyfriend, I spent lots of time with my guy friends, with or without other guys, with or without other girls. I didn't expect him to change his relationships with his friends, be they guys or girls, and he didn't expect me to change mine. Now - he always knew that I was with them, and I'd tell him about my day and get him caught up in things, so he knew what we did, what we talked about. Likewise, he told me of those things too. I only see a problem when someone starts to seek out an opposite gender friend in place of their significant other. But ruthiechan is right. One should not confide in a friend of opposite gender when there is trouble in the significant relationship. Towards the end of my recent relationship, when the guy was both physically and emotionally away, I was looking for comfort from my friends, and I suddenly found one of my male friends very attractive. Granted, we had something of a history, so it's not like it was entirely out of nowhere. But here was a guy who listened to me, and consoled me when my boyfriend wouldn't, and that attraction became very powerful. I decided I had to give everything to the relationship I was in, though, but the guy ended up ending it anyway. And now, that listening and comforting friend is still there to listen to me and comfort me, but just as suddenly as I thought he was attractive, he suddenly isn't anymore, now that the troubled relationship is gone. Even I thought that last bit strange, and still don't understand it, but that's how it happened.

I don't understand why some people have so much hate. When I'm angry and displeased with someone and can't resolve it, I remove myself from the problem. I don't go around actively inciting more antagonistic feelings. What is there to be gained by it? I hope he sincerely believes that what he's doing is God's will, because I'd hate to think that someone can have so much sheer malice as to protest and insult the brave and honourable dead. But I think he knows it's not. If he doesn't like the military and religious freedom, he should leave the country. We'll see how much he likes it when he's within the grasp of a repressive regime. People like him are the ones who make repressive regimes, but I bet he couldn't handle being on the bottom of one.

I read that article a few days ago (or maybe a day ago?) :) We used to have a few walkmans (in fact, still have them), but they died from wear and tear. I've been thinking of just getting one off eBay, since I really love old technology. There's something really special about analog stuff, compared to digital. We have a typewriter, though electric, an old dot matrix printer. VCRs don't feel that old to me, really, since you can still purchase VCR DVD combos. I think I also want to get something that plays vinyl. I love floppy discs and floppy drives.

But not only that, does she love you the way you need her to? Can she support you in your life? My recent ex-boyfriend wasn't able to be there for me, and he knew it, so he broke it off with me. It was hurtful at first, but I realized quickly soon after that sooner or later, it would have failed anyway.

I see how the young people of this generation think they're entitled to everything at everyone else's expense. It's a matter of parenting and spoiled rotten kids. My best friend teaches 3 and 4 year olds, and she says kids don't ask for their parents to help them do/get things (when they come to pick up their kids), but just demand it - and the parents just do it. No please, no thank you, not even asking - they order their parents around. *Shake head*

You don't necessarily have to invite yourself to someone's home, or someone to your home. Perhaps you could ask a friend to enjoy the afternoon out with you, maybe bringing a snack or drink to the park or something. Perhaps someone who was also close to your wife as well, then you can remember her together.

Dur, couldn't they just downscale the show? No fireworks in my city because we have a city worker's strike going on right now. The nerve of unions making demands in a time like this and taking the city hostage.

Ugh, that's disgusting. I am personally ashamed that the company is Toronto-based. I feel like my entire city has been defiled by being it's birthplace.

Ha, thanks guys. :) Dravin - my brother already offered, but I declined. Jokes are good - got one? :) A girls' night with Dravin? Hmmmm..... :) I have been very blessed to know that many people have been concerned for/about me, and have shared their care with me. It's made everything a lot easier to deal with.

Been kinda having a similar feeling about my group at church. My personal opinion is that if you think there's a problem, you gotta do whatever you can to solve it. Failing that, you do have to do the best you can for yourself. But, I feel very strongly that one must put an effort to try to fix things, because you can't expect other people to fix something you find issue with, but are not willing to put in the effort yourself.

Strange weather we've been having in my stretch of Canada, too. It's been unseasonably mild. I didn't know it was summer till this week!

Well, my no-longer gentleman friend made the decision, so I didn't have to. He just said he didn't want to work on it anymore. So. That's pretty non-negotiable. I didn't particularly feel the need to update, however, I did want to thank you guys for sharing and support. It seems like it was more than I got from him. Thanks, I really mean it.

Well, my boyfriend told me yesterday he would rather be my ex-boyfriend instead of trying to work out our problems (though in kinder words). And so I've returned to young single adulthood. Just thought I'd share and try to find some solidarity while I work on mending my broken heart.