Heavenguard

I'm going to buck the, er, crowd (of two) and say Yes. The reason is because the minors' heads were PS'd onto nude bodies, I'm going to assume not for artistic purposes. He wanted to see what they would look like grown up - nude. Not how they would look like, let's photoshop them onto clothed adult bodies, but unclothed bodies. What's the real intent? I'm going to side with the state and say sexual gratification involving minors. I think it is less deplorable than child pornography where children are physically exploited and abused, but no grown person should be "getting off" on sexual or sexualized images or ideas of children - period.

I agree, but in a one given person, I think the person is more likely to be compassionate if they are "truly" in tune with God than if not. I say "truly", because I think one of the points of the parable is that the priest and the levite "just didn't get it". ... And don't worry about it, the post you "shouldn't have made" was 3000 ago

Now, let's see... I learned about the physical elements of baby-making when I was in the first grade, it was part of the school program (for your reference: Canada, Catholic school). Some parts were taught by the teacher, and some at home by parents, with the same book - with anatomical drawing! But nobody really taught the 'moral' aspect to it, I think. In Gr. 7, I remember there was stuff about puberty, what's your period, that sort of stuff. But again, I can't say that there was a moral aspect to it. I wouldn't be able to tell you who taught me to abstain till marriage, really. But I did grow up in the Catholic school system till I was 17, and in my church from 6 till now - I'm sure I picked it up somewhere along the way. I do remember who taught me to respect romantic relationships, though. I was about 12 or 13, and the person said something like: Treat your other person the way you would have wanted his last girlfriend (or boyfriend - I'm a girl) to have treated him. Do you want a guy that another girl has been all over? No, you don't. And you never know - any current relationship might end. He may have to face his special someone later - do you want to be the person that "ruins" that? It meant a lot more to me then than it does to kids now, though, unfortunately. My kids that are about that same age now laugh at things like respect, it actually makes me sad and disappointed. Btw, I'm 23, and my mom only decided to have "the talk" with me about 2 weeks ago. It went something like this: It's okay that you're dating, just don't get into bed with him. You haven't already, have you? I later told her that she was about 10 years late in being a parent to me, and that by this point, any ideas I would have had regarding the topic would not have been swayed by her pitifully sad attempt at doing so. Spiteful? Yeah, a little. I do harbour some resentment that my mom didn't do very much to parent me when I was younger, but will do stuff like that now.

(This is actually a geneticlally inherited condition called hypertrichosis.)

Well, what does "natural" mean? I agree, homosexuality is not natural in the biological sense that... well... male and female parts are very well designed to go together, and not so much when the same of two are together. *cough* >_> (Awkward statement to make.) However, homosexuality is "natural" for a great many number of people - they betray themselves by not accepting and embracing that part of their sexuality. So many people have such great inner conflict and depression because they do not wish to have their orientation, and their persons are only made whole when they accept it. Yes, Christ makes us whole, but we cannot deny or reject who or what you are while truly accepting Christ. There is a Christian ministry in my city that reaches out to those who question their sexual identity. One of the leaders is a wonderful homosexual man who struggled for years with his faith and sexuality that seemed to be in direct conflict with each other. And then he realized there didn't have to be a conflict: his sexuality was just his preference. He can be gay and love God at the same time. It's not a sin for a man to be attracted to women, or think that women are attractive. The associated sins with "attraction" are in lust, covetousness, adultery, and rape (and maybe a few more I can't think of at the moment). But a great many men can look at a women, deem her to be attractive, yet not be lustful, or covet her, or want to commit adultery or rape with her. So can a man look at another man and deem him to be attractive without committing the sins. It is natural for him to think another man attractive - it is only a sin if he acts (or in his heart wishes to act) on it. This is the same for a heterosexual man. And so the above-mentioned man decided to live a celibate life, knowing he is gay, but choosing to love God more than to intimately love another man. Just because something is natural, it doesn't mean it's right. It is not typically natural to share, the usual tendency is to keep your possessions for yourself, but we teach our children to be kind and share. It is natural to hit when someone upsets you, that's why children do it even though no one has taught them so. But we teach our children otherwise. Things that are behaviour-related that you have to teach your kid is not natural, whether it is on the large or individual scale.

Being that I'm not LDS, I can't throw in an LDS POV. But, if given the same question about my pastor - hands down no. There has been more than one scenario where I've said to my friends at church "What [Pastor's Name] says isn't the law. He's here to lead us and guide us, but he doesn't have the last word on everything. He's just a person just like you and I." People try to appease church leaders in order to be "Good" Christians. But obedience to a church leader doesn't automatically make a good Christian. If I believed that God himself were telling me to do so, I'd probably do a Gideon test. Ask God to do something impossible for me, by my terms, several times over to confirm it's really him and he's really telling me to do something like that. I can't for sure tell you what would come after that if God passed the test with flying colours, though. I'd have to believe that God were telling me to stop al Qaeda or something.

I remember when I was in school, a teacher told us that every time you point a finger at someone, three more are pointing back at yourself (your curled fist). I only speaks to how poorly you are able to love and accept people, which makes people hate you, instead of being drawn to you. But this doesn't apply only to religion. Is it any wonder that the sexually 'deviant' hate religion, esp. Christianity?

Edelweiss, what you described sounded so similar to something that happened to me last year. Great guy - attractive, kind-hearted, we had lots of fun together, obvious flirting, and when I was expecting us to "officially" get together (I decided if he wasn't going to bring it up, I would), instead the talk was about how he hadn't planned on having a girlfriend, and wanted to focus on his career, schooling, getting a place instead, can we be friends... It took a while for me to realize this, but this is what I learned and understood in the end: He just wasn't prepared or ready for a relationship. His mind and heart were not in that place, it would have been a disaster afterwards. The army is his conscientious focus: you would have found yourself second place to that. The military is extremely demanding, mentally, physically, emotionally (and even spiritually). If he didn't entirely 100% (even 90% would not be good enough) have the dedication to go through a distance relationship with you while in the army, it was the right decision for him to not pursue things further with you, because you would have gotten more hurt. It is not a reflection on you. The decision to join the army is not a small one - trust me, I tried before (to join - another story for another day). He likely had this planned out way in advance and had his mind set on it for a long time. And it may not be that he doesn't want to be with you, but... again, point one: the army is so demanding, he may not even think himself remotely able to handle both at the same time. The part that is reflective of you is that he likes you. His decision to not be with you has nothing to do with you, but has everything to do with where his focus is. What you need to actively do is set boundaries. It is no longer acceptable for him to flirt with you or greet you by saying things like Hello Beautiful. The gentleman I was talking about in my example used to tickle my sides, which is very flirtatious, and when he went for it one time after the "no deal" talk, I just told him straight up "You're not allowed to do that anymore", and he's since always respected that. You might be different, but I needed a period of time to not be his friend. We spoke little for about 3 months, and after that a little bit more at a time. It may be helpful for you to actually bring up the topic and straight up tell him that he should not have been so openly flirting with you if he didn't intend anything and ask him to own up to it (ie apologize). (I don't know how much or how far your guy went with it, but mine had watching tv arms around my waist - very little to misread.) We're on the same softball team (that's how I met him last year), and even now when I see him I am still attracted to him, and sometimes think a little bit about the "what if", or sometimes I think about how his actions hurt me. But I know it wouldn't have worked then, and it still wouldn't now, being that neither of us have changed. I also know that he didn't mean to hurt me, but he was going with his feelings and decided he needed to stop when he realized he was leading me on. So now we're friends. Certainly, it does feel uncomfortable sometimes (more and more frequently at the beginning), but it's up to you to decide if the friendship is worth salvaging through the awkward, uncomfortable, and even hurtful moments. You shouldn't have the intention to Wait for him unless you both talk about it and agree to it. Even then, he may be a different person in two years. I think it would be best to be open to the idea of 'maybe or maybe not' in the future, but not actually expect or hope for it. In the meanwhile, go look for some other great guys

I'm sorry about your situation, Soul_Searcher, it sounds real crummy. I guess there are two things about friends in life. The first is sometimes your close friend will become closer friends with someone else new. It might be that their personalities click better, have more similar interests, etc. I've thought about this too, as I've unwittingly "stolen" someone's friend at church myself, but when I think about it, the original pair of friends are so different. On the other hand, "stolen" friend and I have common interests, professions, and even taste in clothing. It's just natural that we do things together, because we like doing the same things, understand things the same way, etc. The second point is that sometimes people ... they're just jerks. I hate to say it, but it may even be that part of their bonding together as friends may have been over saying unkind things about you. This is not a reflection on you. They are the ones who have been undeservingly mean and exclusive. You were even willing to reach out, but they backed off. I'm sorry for your loss, Soul_Searcher, but you wouldn't want friends like them anyhow. If they were to "accept" you again, who knows how long till they do something like that again? You seem like a real genuine lady who unfortunately fell into a lot of fair-weathered friends.

Actually, I wasn't trying to defend him. It would have been a defense to the point where he actually felt like I was attacking him, and so acted that way. However, it was an example of how he was making me angry, because I'd already prior explained to him that it wasn't attacking him (but trying to bring up the point so we can discuss it), but he kept acting like I was attacking him. In any case, thanks for your responses, you guys. We had yet another argument about the same stuff. But this time he actually told me how he feels about things, rather than just trying to turn things around and blame me. So I took that and said I can own up to my actions and how they make him feel, and work on that, but said that he also needs to own up to his actions, to which he agreed. I honestly don't know if he will actually do that, but I'm going to take him finally communicating in a real way as a positive sign, at least in terms of actual willingness. I did, however, also follow up by saying that I still need time away from him, and that the relationship itself is in a very precarious place. We both agreed that if things don't get better, it'll be done, because this has been stressful for both of us. So basically this is the last chance - at least on the matter that I feel like he doesn't listen to or respect me when I try to bring up issues. Personally, I believe that a couple can work through anything, as anatess has shown. But I also know that both people need to be willing and committed to actually working through things. I know it's supposed to be a two-way street, both people have to be willing to make extra efforts as well as concessions.

Well, I suppose it sounds super-negative, but when one recounts problems, the good items are not spelled out. He's usually very gentle and sweet. He gets me thoughtful gifts, calls me often, picks me up from work when it rains, that sort of thing. But when I try to talk about negative feelings that have to do with him (not accusing or blaming him, but bringing it up so we can discuss/fix it), he gets upset and defensive, which makes the negative feelings worse. If I was feeling insecure, his reaction confirms it. If I was feeling angry, he infuriates me. If I feel lonely, I feel like I'm being pushed away. Instead of listening to what I have to say, he gets defensive. And I can understand that nobody likes feeling attacked, but I've told him that my point is not to attack him, but that I want him to understand what's wrong, and how we can avoid unhappy situations again in the future. However, the next time, he gets defensive again, which furthers this feeling of him not listening to me... The reason I'm unsure is because the relationship has been short, and his going away was a real wild card (unexpected for both of us), so I can't discern if it will just always be like this, or if this is just a "rough patch" to stick out till he learns his way to interact and communicate in this sort of relationship.

I've been with my gentleman friend for about 3.5 months. (We got to know each other for 1.5 months prior to that.) I started dating him not only because I liked him, but because I could see a potential future with him (ie getting married, settle down, have kids). About 2 months into dating, he went away for a week, came back for a few days, then went away for a month again, and a lot of problems surfaced during that time that possibly otherwise could have taken months or years to come out. Because of those problems (and probably also because we did not have a strong foundation to anchor us), I no longer believe in or see that future. We talked about our problems, and said we'd try to work on it, but I've ended up believing in everything even less now. The things he said he'd do to help fix things (from his end, I had a part too), he's failed to do when time came. I want to end it, things being as they are - I don't want to waste his or my time, and I don't want to expend more emotions into it (and worse, I have negative ones as a result of it). On the other hand I feel like I should give it and him a chance. Any thoughts, ideas, anecdotes to share about when one should keep on trucking, or how to recognize when to throw in the towel?

Even if you would prefer not to see a doctor, you can get instead a trainer (at a/the gym) who will help you maximize your diet for your goals, or a nutritionist, a lifestyle counselor, or a sports medicine specialist, or naturopath. It's not just about your weight. Your entire body needs to be well-balanced. You can't just cut calories and think you're doing your body a favour. You may be (probably) robbing yourself of important nutrients needed for your body to function as it should. And there's much more that you need than just what is on Nutrition Information labels. If your body isn't getting what it needs, even your metabolism will slow and be further detrimental to your weight loss/gain. Eat small, balanced meals often - that is the BEST way to maintain your body. The best part is that healthy doesn't have to mean boring or gross. I had a barbecue with my friends last week, and it was probably the most delicious, yet healthiest barbecue I ever had. (Ie, not all heavy red meats.) Chicken (havarti) cheese burgers with vegetable toppings Spinach dip with flat bread Grilled mussels topped with chopped tomatoes, cilantro, garlic, olive oil (this was so delicious) Skewered shrimp with zucchini, peppers and mushrooms Foil-wrapped baked potatoes Try topping a salad with raspberry vinaigrette and real raspberries. That is so good. You take yourself as a lover of food, but you're probably more actually a lover of eating. I used to enjoy eating the greasy and fattening foods with lots of heavy red meat when my metabolism could still keep up with it. But it slowed after I entered the 20s, and made me really disappointed that I couldn't eat like I used to. (My stomach just couldn't fit it all anymore.) And so, since then, I been eating lighter fare I find I enjoy much more delicious foods now, and no longer crave the unhealthy stuff. Change your menu a little, and you will find you will actually enjoy the food itself instead of just the act of eating. It's like doubling the enjoyment!

I just wanted to ask you guys how you deal with anger? What kind of angry person are you when you do get angry? Personally, I'm a fairly easy-going person most of the time. But I can get pushed to the point where the anger becomes extremely unhealthy for me because I take it out on myself. My parents have told me that when I was a baby and was crying, I would smash my head into the floor, wall, etc. Well, it seems that 23 years later, I'm no better. (I was very angry about 1/2 hr ago, and now my head hurts, so I can't sleep, and now I'm roaming around on the internets...) I hadn't gotten to this level of anger where I would be self-abusive in 5+ years, but it seems old habits die hard? I've gotten pretty good at talking about my feelings to try to resolve the issue, but it'll still happen when my words are ignored and then I stew about it and I make myself more and more angry and I don't have another way to deal with it. My workplace has some assistance program for its employees, I'm looking at the brochure now and I think I'll give them a call on how to better, properly deal with my emotions of anger. But in the meantime, in the spirit that sharing is caring ... do share? :)

Although I don't have anything to add to the subject in particular, I don't believe the poster was referring to Vort's story rather than the preceeding comments.

If 9 is freedom greater than myself, than I choose 9. I was going to join the army reserves a few years back, and even now I sometimes think about it and wish I could. I would fight and die for the principle of freedom. In this case specifically, the freedom of my country, but - with the condition that there is a physical threat against innocent people, and that the "opponent" is the aggressor. That's why I wanted to join the reserves instead of the full-time army, so that I couldn't just be "ordered" to fight any fight at the government's sole discretion, but that I could choose which to be involved with. If I were in the American army reserves (I'm Canadian), I would never have fought in Iraq to bring democracy and freedom to another country, because the people were not transgressing against my or my country's freedoms. However, the involvement in Afghanistan I would participate in, being that help was being sought after. Risk family? No. Friends? Never. I'd rather he holed up in a tiny box for the rest of my life than give anyone else up for freedom for myself or another.

The movement for same-sex marriage is that they claim that gays and lesbians have every right to enjoy the security and legal stability brought about by marriage. Fine, get a civil union, then. Just don't call it marriage.

That's the kind of soldier to be proud of. A real man with real heart. I'd give him a hearty handshake if I could.

There's no reason for school admin to know about it, it has nothing to do with her class or her teaching (academically). Professors are not teachers of morality - fortunately or unfortunately. Don't be unafraid to politely ask if people can keep those kinds of conversations for more private settings. Yes, some people have serious attitude problems and will tell you off, but most people are decent enough to honour that sort of request. And if they tell you off... what of it? It's not like what they think matters, in the grand scheme of things. (Just be prepared for it, and not be surprised by it if they do.) Found a wallet before the start of class, once. Looked up his address (from his license) on white pages online and got his home number. Called it, told his dad I found the wallet, gave him my cellphone number, and told him to have his son (the wallet's owner) to call me. Turns out the guy was in my class, and just switched desks before I came in!

My coworker gave me the best advice I'd ever head: Write down your goal/s, and the time frame in which you want to achieve it/them. Then plan backwards to see what you have to do to achieve it. If you just sit around and wait for extraordinariness to come, it never will; you have to make it for yourself.

That is why Jehovah's Witnesses do not eat ice cream. What an unfortunate thing to be a JW child and never have ice cream =( Edit: I actually mostly gave up coffee. Mostly because it was causing me acne =\ I'll still have the odd cup here and there. (Note, I'm not LDS.) Most of the day I drink water. If I'm out at a restaurant, I'll ask for water with a lemon wedge for that little bit of zing. Try it, it's really refreshing! I've started having more ice tea after being with my boyfriend, as he likes pop, but I've grown to like it less. At first I cut back because of all the sugar (not sure if canned iced tea is actually any better), but then it just fell out of my favour. I will have a cooler (usually vodka) when I'm at a pub or if I'm feeling like I need some relaxing.

I just wanted to throw this out there, even though I've never tried online dating... I can express myself much more clearly in writing than in person. I string words and phrases together slowly in my head, often rephrasing and inserting or replacing words as I go along. In text, you can read it at your own leisurely pace in a way that makes sense . In person, I usually never finish the entire thought the way it would otherwise appear on paper (or on screen). And thus, I am currently trying to work out a very sudden, very difficult spot in my relationship with my boyfriend on a messenger, because talking it out in person (as we've tried twice) didn't seem to really work. I've been learning things about how he's been thinking/feeling that we never got out in spoken words.

Just to follow up with jadams, sometimes it's the mom that is irresponsible. Indeed, usually if one parent is absent, or otherwise less than ideal, it is typically the father, but not always so. Also, a lot of dads are well meaning parents who would do more for their kids, but are barred by the mothers' efforts. Those men (and some women who are likewise barred by the fathers) need more voice.

I'm sorry, I don't understand. Why is this a problem? I know Obama is otherwise not a very popular person around here.

I never understood it to be that the devil snuck into heaven unawares. Angels were giving accounts to God. Satan and his devils are still subject to God, fallen or not. I always understood it to be a statement of God's dominion over Satan.