Am I being too harsh??

[RainofGold]

"Can't believe that some people would take away another's basic rights! AND still call themselves "Christlike".

This is what my little brother responded to a post that I forwarded about (protecting marriage) to all of my friends on my list. Yes my little brother who is gay was on this list and he responded very upset and hurt. I told him that I didn't just sent it to him but to everyone on my friends list and I also apologized if I hurt his feelings, but at the same time I reminded him where I stand on this matter. I don't want to hurt my relationship with him, he knows that I love him and even though I don't approve with his lifestyle he is and always be my little brother.

Is there anything else that I can do? Was that very insensitive of me to sent it to him?

Well this was my original post back in October.

I don't understand why after many e-mails and and texts apologizing to him he just wont talk to me. He knows that it was sent to him by mistake, that I wouldn't hurt him on purpose. But he still wont forgive me for doing so.

Could it be more than just because I sent him this e-mail about prop 8?

It sadness me to have lost our very close relationship over a misunderstanding. I'm trying to be more accepting of his lifestyle, I just don't like taking part in it. And what I mean by that is that he has invited me to go out with him and his partner and I have declined and I have being honest to him telling him that I still feel uncomfortable to see him as his partner.

I don't want to pretend that he is not gay, but should I giving in just to make him happy even though it goes against everything I believe in, and makes me feel very uncomfortable?

Am I not being Christlike like he told me?

Please let me know what you think is the right thing to do...

[KristofferUmfrey]

"Can't believe that some people would take away another's basic rights! AND still call themselves "Christlike".

This is what my little brother responded to a post that I forwarded about (protecting marriage) to all of my friends on my list. Yes my little brother who is gay was on this list and he responded very upset and hurt. I told him that I didn't just sent it to him but to everyone on my friends list and I also apologized if I hurt his feelings, but at the same time I reminded him where I stand on this matter. I don't want to hurt my relationship with him, he knows that I love him and even though I don't approve with his lifestyle he is and always be my little brother.

Is there anything else that I can do? Was that very insensitive of me to sent it to him?

Well this was my original post back in October.

I don't understand why after many e-mails and and texts apologizing to him he just wont talk to me. He knows that it was sent to him by mistake, that I wouldn't hurt him on purpose. But he still wont forgive me for doing so.

Could it be more than just because I sent him this e-mail about prop 8?

It sadness me to have lost our very close relationship over a misunderstanding. I'm trying to be more accepting of his lifestyle, I just don't like taking part in it. And what I mean by that is that he has invited me to go out with him and his partner and I have declined and I have being honest to him telling him that I still feel uncomfortable to see him as his partner.

I don't want to pretend that he is not gay, but should I giving in just to make him happy even though it goes against everything I believe in, and makes me feel very uncomfortable?

Am I not being Christlike like he told me?

Please let me know what you think is the right thing to do...

If he was shaking up with some babe, would you turn down an invitation to go out with them somewhere? You should treat this situation the same way. You can show respect and do things with them without approving of what they are doing.

[BenRaines]

When my mother left all things I had been taught and decided to live with the man she was in love with without being married I told her that they were welcome to come and visit but to not plan on spending the night. He took offense, now these people at the time were in their 60s, when they eventually married I was not invited since he wanted to show that he was not doing it because of my standards.

Taught one was and then live another.

Ben Raines

[LolaBella]

Im afraid I think u are being too harsh, yes. Reverse it all-Can u imagine if ure brother forwarded u an email on the mormon church and how he disagrees with it and is trying to get it banned because he thinks it is intolerant. You would be devastated that something u hold dear was being trashed on by your own brother. As for not going out with him and his partner-he's extending an olive branch to you and you have basically thrown it back in his face. You need to get over it and accept your brother for who he is. Why wont u go out with him and his partner?? You dont have to support gay rights to support your brother. I can absolutely understand why your brother is upset. My advice to you would be to beg his forgiveness-you are the one in the wrong here, not your brother.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Telling him you sent it to him by mistake doesn't change the fact that that is how you feel and he knows that.

I have a lot of trouble coming to terms with the Church's attitude over this whole thing. We can disapprove of a lifestyle and believe it is not acceptable in the eyes of God but I was always of the opinion that the Church taught that we have free will and it is up to each of us to choose. If we try to take away other people's freedom why should it then surprise us if they want to take away ours?

It's not as if heterosexual marriage is being outlawed. That would need protesting about.

I have friends who are gay. They know I don't condone their relationship but if invited somewhere with them I would go. Jesus himself supped and dined with publicans and sinners.

[interalia]

When I was going through my period of transition and adjusting into my new lifestyle, I had several friends at the time. I will contrast four different friends and let you decide which example you think is best.

Friend #1 - not LDS; thought changing my sex was my choice and no one else should have a say about it, would just taking adjustments; continued to remain friends with me throughout the experience and was one of the first people to welcome me back when I returned.

Friend #2 - LDS; my best friend before my transition, (converted to LDS when I converted btw), never wanted to see me again after my change; never told me I was wrong, just that it was too painful

Friend #3 - LDS; hated me for my choice, decided to tell everyone we collectively knew in an attempt to discredit me and let out frustration at me, turned many people against me, got me ostracized by people who were once associates

Friend #4 - LDS; thought changing my sex was a bad choice and out of harmony with the Gospel, remained my friend throughout, even went to support meetings with me, but when I sought validation, I was returned none and reminded of the church's position, which would cause me to fight with this friend occasionally. When I was making the decision to return, this was the friend I remembered the most and loved the most.

Just my thoughts having been someone on the other side of the coin.

[Guest HEthePrimate]

It sadness me to have lost our very close relationship over a misunderstanding. I'm trying to be more accepting of his lifestyle, I just don't like taking part in it. And what I mean by that is that he has invited me to go out with him and his partner and I have declined and I have being honest to him telling him that I still feel uncomfortable to see him as his partner.

I don't want to pretend that he is not gay, but should I giving in just to make him happy even though it goes against everything I believe in, and makes me feel very uncomfortable?

Am I not being Christlike like he told me?

Please let me know what you think is the right thing to do...

Hi Rain of Gold,

I can't answer for your brother as to why he still isn't talking to you. However, I do wonder why you won't go out with him and his partner. It seems to me that they already know where you stand on the matter of homosexuality. Doing something nice with them--dinner, a movie, whatever--would show that you accept them as people and still love your brother. No need to discuss homosexuality or gay marriage, or even bring it up. You can talk about other things and have a good time just being siblings and friends.

I really hope things work out for you guys and that he starts talking to you again. :)

HEP

[RainofGold]

Thank you for your advice.

I do want to do the right thing and I will pray to have the humility that I seem to be lacking. I really don't want to be judgmental of him, but just to love him and treat him with love and respect.

There are 9 members in my family, seven sisters and two brothers. My mom, one of my sisters and my brother feel the same way I do, and his dad still doesn't know. His uncles don't want to his partner in their houses for parties and holidays, so the family is very divided on this.

So now my brother who at the beginning would be fine with just coming to family gatherings by himself, wont come at all if this partner is not invited. He says that you either accept me as being gay with a partner or don't invite me at all.