Not sure about my testimony

[LolaBella]

Its not a personal choice. just like homosexuality is not a personal choice then eh?

[KayaLove00]

I actually haven't read any anti stuff. Alot of the stuff I know about Joseph are in church history books. I don't think it's very healthy for members to not question the church and it's leaders sometimes. No one should ever follow anything blindly. Every religious leader/church has an agenda wether it be good or evil and we know for a fact that the church has made mistakes i.e, blacks and the priesthood. The church has actually said that it basically never should have happened. I REALLY don't think the Lord would discriminate a group of people based on the color of there skin. That sounds like the opposite of what he would do. I just question the church leaders throughout history sometimes on wether they really received revelation or or mixed their emotions with what they thought the spirit told them.... we are all human and I'm sure that excuse is valid to a certain extent. I want to believe the church is true 110%, but there are just some things that don't seem to fit sometimes an that's what I'm struggling with. If I belong to the "true church," I want to make sure everything is true and not feel uncertain on some things.

[KayaLove00]

I would add one more thing: our attitudes often determine how much of the Spirit and testimony God gives us. It is one thing to be unsure of our testimonies. It is another thing to accept ideas of the world (such as SSM) and judge the LDS standard from it, and then wonder why God isn't telling us anything.

The laws against same sex marriage are proscribed in the Bible. It warns about homosexual activity, and establishes marriage between man and woman - as God's purpose in this is not only to encourage intimacy in a relationship, but to create and nurture children - something that cannot occur in SSM.

God has his standard. Satan chooses to twist and warp that standard to his goals, and then feeds us the freedom line. People are free to choose their actions, but not the consequences to sin. And it is sin, regardless of whether all of Hollywood embraces it or not.

To gain a testimony of higher things, we must first determine in our minds that we will not proscribe nor circumscribe the will of God. We must go to God with an entirely open mind and heart, and allow Him to fill it as He pleases. If we go to him with restrictions, demands, creeds, or exceptions, then he will allow us to believe what we will. Why give us more light and truth, if we wouldn't believe it anyway?

Too many people today are wanting the gospel to be a buffet: pick and choose which portions you want. But it isn't a buffet. There are tables of food, and you must choose which table to sit at: celestial, terrestrial, or telestial. To sit at the celestial table, you must develop a taste for celestial foods. Otherwise, they will not be to your liking, and you will go to the other tables for a taste.

Clearly you are struggling. However, the first question is to determine not why Joseph did this or that, but what is your own personal stance on the clear commandments of God? Are you willing to follow God and His will anywhere? Or are you trying to have one foot in Zion and the other in Babylon/Hollywood? What are you doing to seek God's will, and not the will of the world? Just how effective are you in your prayers and scripture study? Obviously, you've spent time on some anti-Mormon lists, or talked to some anti-Mormons, because most members don't care about Joseph Smith's polygamy. The way they see it (and I do), is that if God ordered Joseph to do it, then he did it - even if it was something out of the ordinary. Or are you going to condemn Abraham for attempting to murder his son, or Moses for wiping out entire towns? It is the same thing, and you either take the whole celestial table of food, or you'll find your tastes elsewhere.

I actually haven't read any anti stuff. Alot of the stuff I know about Joseph are in church history books. I don't think it's very healthy for members to not question the church and it's leaders sometimes. No one should ever follow anything blindly. Every religious leader/church has an agenda wether it be good or evil and we know for a fact that the church has made mistakes i.e, blacks and the priesthood. The church has actually said that it basically never should have happened. I REALLY don't think the Lord would discriminate a group of people based on the color of there skin. That sounds like the opposite of what he would do. I just question the church leaders throughout history sometimes on wether they really received revelation or or mixed their emotions with what they thought the spirit told them.... we are all human and I'm sure that excuse is valid to a certain extent. I want to believe the church is true 110%, but there are just some things that don't seem to fit sometimes an that's what I'm struggling with. If I belong to the "true church," I want to make sure everything is true and not feel uncertain on some things.

[Prodigal_Son]

I don't think it's very healthy for members to not question the church and it's leaders sometimes. No one should ever follow anything blindly.

We have been encouraged, actually, to confirm everything the prophet teaches for ourselves. The beauty of personal revelation!

Every religious leader/church has an agenda wether it be good or evil and we know for a fact that the church has made mistakes i.e, blacks and the priesthood. The church has actually said that it basically never should have happened. I REALLY don't think the Lord would discriminate a group of people based on the color of there skin. That sounds like the opposite of what he would do.

What makes you think the priesthood issue was "a mistake" ??? I know that this could get hairy really fast, so I will try to be careful and sensitive. I mean no one any offense...

That being said, just because it isn't a "comfortable doctrine" by the world's standards doesn't mean it isn't true. How about the JEWS? They're a race, right? Didn't the Lord have some pretty choice condemnations for them? Condemnations that carried through for generations - even millenia? Don't be foolish enough to allow yourself to be embarrassed by tough doctrines. I don't know why the mighty Jehovah has done things the way He has, but I don't care. I trust that He knows better than I. I trust that He does, in fact, have a very specific game plan. And if part of that plan involved withholding certain blessings from a group, then so be it. There's certainly precedent for such actions.

I just question the church leaders throughout history sometimes on wether they really received revelation or or mixed their emotions with what they thought the spirit told them.... we are all human and I'm sure that excuse is valid to a certain extent.

We've been assured that we'll not be lead astray. How is that not enough?

I want to believe the church is true 110%, but there are just some things that don't seem to fit sometimes an that's what I'm struggling with. If I belong to the "true church," I want to make sure everything is true and not feel uncertain on some things.

Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord."

Again, though - every bit of the truth of this doctrine the Lord is ready and able to reveal to you. You just have to get your confirmation from the source... which does NOT include the web, or books (unless they're canonized).