KayaLove00

I'm sorry about the situations at hand. That has got to be very frustrating and difficult. You can try to contact the Stake President again or find out whoever is above him and report it to that person. I am not trying to make excuses for him but he did make a mistake and probably didn't realize what the aftermath would entail. He definitely shouldn't have said anything and does owe you an apology and maybe I would actually speak to him directly and tell him you know it was him and explain you will do what it takes to make sure this is resolved. Maybe attend another ward, but I would suggest not letting this ruin your overall spiritual journey in the church. Hope this helps! :)

Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure was super scary for me when I was little. After watching it I couldn't sleep. Remember Larger Marge on the big rig??? That freaked me out!!! lol

I actually haven't read any anti stuff. Alot of the stuff I know about Joseph are in church history books. I don't think it's very healthy for members to not question the church and it's leaders sometimes. No one should ever follow anything blindly. Every religious leader/church has an agenda wether it be good or evil and we know for a fact that the church has made mistakes i.e, blacks and the priesthood. The church has actually said that it basically never should have happened. I REALLY don't think the Lord would discriminate a group of people based on the color of there skin. That sounds like the opposite of what he would do. I just question the church leaders throughout history sometimes on wether they really received revelation or or mixed their emotions with what they thought the spirit told them.... we are all human and I'm sure that excuse is valid to a certain extent. I want to believe the church is true 110%, but there are just some things that don't seem to fit sometimes an that's what I'm struggling with. If I belong to the "true church," I want to make sure everything is true and not feel uncertain on some things.

Over the past couple years I have been increasingly losing my testimony. I am 27, married in the temple, and have been living up to the standards. I just am not sure anymore if the church is the true church- my questioning actually started when I went to take out my endowments. It literally freaked me out but I held it all inside. Also, the more I learn about Joseph Smith and him marrying really young girls ...and marrying women who were already married to men seems quite bothersome. I have prayed for understanding and I keep getting the same feeling- uneasiness and a stupor of thought. I used to accept all the teachings without question-which I don't think is healthy now that I am looking back because now I am doubting and am actually stating to THINK about things. I also disagree immensly with the church's involvement in Prop 8 on sooooo many levels. I see most members, including my own family, becoming more and more dogmatic and judgmental- something the prophets have warned against. Does anyone else feel the same as me???

Some members can be extremely dogmatic and judgmental. I am really sorry that you feel so out of place. I can understand what you are going through.

going to the temple to receive endowments is a HUGE step in ones life and I would wait until I was older if I were you. It takes major commitment, and not to say that you are not mature already, but it takes someone mature with a very, very strong testimony to personally be ready for that. :)

I understand why someone might want to name there child after someone they admire from the bible or BOM. I personally find it cheesy. I love Nephi the prophet but would NEVER name my child that. I'm curious why members do this????? These names are sooo outdated and aren't really flattering in my opinion.

I would just love these children unconditionally and tell them often. Try to understand them and be patient with them. They have anger hidden deep in their hearts and will have issues with trust and obedience I'm sure. Reward them when they do what they are supposed to and restrict privileges when needed but make sure they understand very well that you love them even when you are disciplining them.

Does the bishop know about this? He is responsible for the well being of the ward and if there are disruptions he should help deal with them accordingly. I think he should speak to the parents privately about these issues and refer them to LDS family services. The mother is in complete denial about her son it sounds like.

I'm actually the husband of KayaLove and she shared this with me. I thought I'd add my own thoughts on the issue. First, I was raised by parents who were and still are anti-Mormon. All through growing up I heard anti-Mormon sermons at least twice a year, my mother owned books on the subject, etc, so when I joined the Church, I definately needed some answers. When I first began investigating the Church I decided to try and get the most objective sources I could find. It wasn't all that hard, in fact the Church itself has had some very good historical sources that they have made available to the public in the past. The only thing is, as you mentioned, members of the Church are kept in the dark about these historical accounts and sources and don't know they exist or where to find them. What I found is that many (well, most) members of the Church do not want to know anything unless it is flattering to the Church, and anything contraversial or unpleasant they shut themselves and others off from by either claiming it's anti-Mormon or simply false. You can even see this done visually in paintings of Joseph Smith, paintings from his time show him with a big nose, and in his later years a bit of a belly, but in recent paintings you'd think he was a male model with chiseled features and a great build. I would not have gained a testimony myself unless I had been able to research the actual truth. If members had stopped me from reading the actual accounts I found in historical books and documents, I would not have gained a testimony. One of my favorite hymns is "Oh Say What Is Truth," and I strongly agree with the lyrics which I advise all to review. Anyway, to get to my point, there are several great scriptures that I feel should guide members on this subject: D&C 109:7 "seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning even by study and also by faith" To me the best books would not leave out important information in order to persuade others deceitfully, such as teaching that Joseph Smith had no faults or skipping over such important points as the polygamy years and Joseph Smith's practice of it. Also, many claim prayer is all that is needed, however this scripture tells us to seek learning by study and ALSO by faith, it does NOT say to seek learning through faith only or prayer only but specifically says to learn from books and through study. Some would suggest this means study of the scriptures, but Brigham Young once taught that if all we study is the scriptures we are doomed to become sectarians, which God does not desire. D&C 131:6 "It is impossible for a man to be saved in ignorance." To me this means that being kept ignorant of the Church's history will not save us, we must be able to recognize gospel truth and choose it even after we know all the perceived blemishes in the Church and it's history. 1 Peter 3:15 "be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you." Once again, I find this to mean that we must be able to answer even tough questions. Avoiding them or ignoring them will never establish a testimony within ourselves or in others. The fourth scripture I will have to locate once again, but it tells us that it is man's duty to learn. I hold this to mean that those who choose to ignore anything they do not feel comfortable with are not doing their duty as God has told us, after all, do members not criticize the Catholic Church for ignoring it's negative history? Why would we not hold ourselves to that same standard? And last of all, here are some books that I found useful in learning the Church's history, remember, it is out there and it isn't even hidden, it's just that many members have ignored their responsibility to know their own history and so very few know where to find it. Rather than read good books with reliable history, many choose to read Mormon historical fiction that puts the Church in a good light without any human faults whatsoever. "A Comprehensive History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints" by B.H. Roberts "Porter Rockwell" by Richard Lloyd Dewey "The Missouri Persecutions" by B.H. Roberts "40 Years Among the Indians" by Dan Jones "Rough Stone Stone Rolling" by Richard Lyman Bushman "Discourses of Brigham Young" by John A. Widtsoe "The Encyclopedia of Mormonism" which can be accessed online as well as at your local library, and has the advantage of being catalogued by subject. Here is the link to the online source: Encyclopedia of Mormonism

AMEN Ocean!!!!!! I couldn't have said it any better than that. It's so true what you said. So many members DON'T know the history of the church and don't ask questions when they don't understand something-they just accept it, which is why people say we are a cult. Questioning is a GOOD THING- even President Hinkley said members need to question in order to believe! I feel the church sometimes skirts away from some of the "fine details" that are uncomfortable to talk about. I just can't believe how much I feel the same as you-wow.

-Actually, Joseph Smith WAS married to some women who were already married-though it was not 30+, and some of of them he did keep a secret from Emma, (probably because she never like polygamy from the get-go.) These are facts in church history. It's right there in our church history books-some of which I've read, the problem is about 99% of members don't know this. I agree that some of it seems a little fishy and it is hard to have a solid testimony when we hear about these kinds of things. Sometimes I feel like faith is not enough when it comes to issues like this.

I totally agree with Rachelle above. EVERY single person does share the same right, including gays and lesbians in this country. While a lot of people agree it is a sin, including myself, I don't think using the commandments and the fact that it goes against what Christ teaches is relevant because not everyone is christian or even believes there is a god. No one is forcing anyone to like homosexuality, but I think as a country we need to realize that this is a "free country" and not everyone shares the same view on who should be married.

how long have you known him

It sounds like your parents have always looked forward to and expected that you date and marry in the church and now this is going on they are uncomfortable with it because it's not what they expected. Yes the church encourages marrying within the church, but it's also not a sin to marry a non-member. On the flip side, what if you married a member and it ends up being a terrible marriage and you could have been happier with the non-member (minus all the temple blessings)? Tis true he cannot take you to the temple now but never say never. My husband was not a member when we dated but he eventually opened himself up to the gospel and we were sealed in the temple. Do your parents like him by the way? Could he potentially cause you to lose your testimony someday if you were to marry him? Everyone on here is giving really good advice and it just comes down to- prayer and fasting.