Confused

[Samael]

It's been a while since i logged on, but now i have a few things on my mind and figured i couldn't go anywhere else to ask these questions with the comfort i can here.

I've been inactive in the church for quite sometime. I've missed large parts of it. I left for reasons that make sense to me, some knowingly silly i'll admit.

I like the belonging, but i feel smothered. I feel I'm always trying to live up to others expectations and trying to meet obligations i don't have a desire to meet. I go to church for a spiritual boost. To get closer to my maker and find peace. I don't mind acts of service or callings, but when they over take the feeling of peace or closeness i have with the spirit, i leave or give up altogether.

I also don't deal well with groups and need personal space, but i find i'm either ignored or just mobbed and there seems to be no happy medium. I want to go back and i know i'm the only thing keeping me from it, but if i go back and find it all the same with the pressures and disappointments then i know i'll be done and just seek the spirit on my own.

Any advice?

[Guest coping]

I too have been inactive and like you the reasons make sense to me as well. I am struggling to go back because of the feeling that I have. What helps me is knowing that I belong at church and I am there because I need to be.

Take it in small steps...attend Sacrament at first and sit in the back. That is what I do and then I quickly slip out after closing prayer. Know that it isn't going to be easy, but that is what Satan wants us to believe and he doesn't want us partaking of the sacrament and of the spirit that is there.

[gigi]

My suggestion is to tell your bishop/RS President or home/visiting teachers how you feel. They can gently, without spelling it out to the world, probably help you in belonging without being smothered, overworked, or neglected. We all want to be on the path, but we're not all in the same place at the same time. That's okay. Let's just learn to love each other with our similarities and our differences. Please come back. Please. We don't want to be the reason you don't come partake of the Spirit. You can do it; my kids did and they're so grateful that they did!

[georgia2]

Show up just as the opening hymn is being sung, leave 5 minutes after sacrament is over!

That would give you 5 minutes to talk to anyone you wanted. At least for a start. Of course you need Sunday school and Priesthood, but that could come as you feel more spiritual and stronger.

[LittleWyvern]

I think a great thing to do would be to join the Elder's Quorum with a service project if you feel able. The groups are usually small and there's a great sense of community in service. :)

[Ivy64]

You didn't seem like you got a lot of responses, and I like alot so I thought I would reply :)

I also wanted to have my bf read it, and I asked him to and asked him if he identified with you.

Immediatly after reading he said "yup." There are a lot of people that feel this way.

You got some good advice here but let me remind you of something...

I think there is so much organization and extracurricular things, as far as ingrained traditions etc in the "church culture" that we sometimes lose sight of things. My bf is a convert, so he got to have that fresh look and I have been more inactive then ever in my life- I was always a Molly Mormon- But I feel like now I have a more real perspective on myself, the world and the church. Its a blessing...

What I want to say is this: Do not forget why we go to church. Yes, it is important to fellowship. Yes its important to interact and give service. But all of those things we do ONLY to HIGHTEN and help stablilize our testimonies and relationship with Heavenly Father. The atonement is the central part of our believes...Jesus Christ. Make him the center, and all else will fall into place.

Also, don't forget that we grow by changing. Sometimes it is not easy. It has been hard for me and my bfs relationship because i was born and raised and he has NEVER had spiritual things come easy to him or even emotional things. But I have really had to take a step back, CHANGE myself, not expect him to change and be understanding. Never forget prayers are answered through other people most often.

Gigi gave you some sound advice. Tell someone...they will keep it to themselves. THe bishop is there as a mouthpiece for a Loving Heavenly Father. He will recieve inspiration for what you need.

I moved from city to city and they are VERY different. I find I don't really have a desire to interact with the people in my ward. its something that can reall hurt someones testimony if they seeit wrong or satan gets involved. Do what you need to for yourself, for your relationship with Heavenly Father and how you feel about others and what you do with them will balance out- The Lord will help you.

But I do too hope you come back because you most definitly have the power within you to bless someone elses life there. Think about it... It is never the same with one less person. There is always something you can do that no one else can.

Best of Luck. And if you ever need anyone to talk to...well, you know

Oh and thanks for posting :)