I am suffering from depression!

[jbosyk]

I am a member of the Church and I've been fighting depression for many years. I don't have a girlfriend and I try to socialize with girls, but they act like I don't exist! I've had thoughts about becoming a disrespectful jerk to get attention, and I attend church regularly. I've also paid tithing, fasted, been to the Temple twice, and prayed daily. I feel like I'm doing all this for nothing. Does anyone feel my pain?

[bcguy]

jbosyk,

Look into your famillys history to see if there is depression. It could be something you inherited.

Take a look at medication though a doctor or, look at trans cranial stimulation. Transcranial magnetic stimulation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This has been known to eliminate depression in 50% of all patients.

[jbosyk]

I do take medication and see a therapist. I feel like it still doesn't help me. And yes depression runs in my family.

[Traveler]

You might try getting into better shape and making sure you eat well and get rest - early to be early to rise thing. And good luck

The Traveler

[bcguy]

Traveler,

Not so easy for the depressed person depending on its severity. His is more genetic then circumstantial.

jbosyk,

Do you experience angry fits some times?

If so, don't let it affect your career. It can and will cause you to get canned. Also, Checkout DCS as I stated in the second posting.

[mightynancy]

Depression is a medical problem - follow up on that with your physician.

As for the girl problem, here's advice from a girl. Get yourself involved in something you really like, perhaps a sport, classes on something, volunteering, or your job (I've no idea how old you are, sorry!). A relationship is one of those slippery things that eludes you if you grasp at it too hard. When you're busily involved in something else that brings you joy, you become more attractive and less needy. Focus on making yourself the best you can be, and don't hang your happiness on some girl, any girl. When you're a little more self-sufficient in that way, you'll have more success with girls! You sound like a nice fellow, and smart to ignore those urges to be a jerk for attention!

The above steps will also help in your recovery from depression, but they don't take the place of treatment! Hang in there.

[ryanh]

Jbosyk, it can take some time to find the right medication for your body's particular chemistry. Some meds can take a couple weeks to reach therapeutic doses in the body while others are quicker. You really need to speak with your Dr about your experiences, and if the current prescription is not working, it may be time to try one of the other meds. Seriously, one med may do nothing for person A while the same med allows person B to again choose whether to be sad or move on. Then, the next med does absolutely nothing for person B, but is the key for person A. If things aren't working, don't be afraid to talk with the Dr about adjusting the dose or trying a different med.

Re the ladies. Good luck on that one! Even us married guys can't figure out why our wives will ignore us at times!!! lol Besides, lots of good guys don't have a girlfriend. Are you planning on a mission? No need to get too serious until after that anyway.

One of the paradoxes of life is that the more we seek relationships for the purposes of filling our own voids or solving our own problems, the less successful we are at those relationships. The trick is to solve our own problems first, and success at relationships will easily follow. Just try to be patient and recognize you don't need a girlfriend to feel of worth or be a success.

[ryanh]

Traveler,

Not so easy for the depressed person depending on its severity. His is more genetic then circumstantial.

Precisely. Utah has a number of billboards running ads lately saying "You'd never hear, 'Snap out of it, it's just diabetes'" run by depressionisreal.org It makes the point clear. We so easily accept the chemical imbalances of diabetes as needing medical treatment, but too many in society don't understand that clinical depression is also a chemical imbalance (fortunately, awarness is increasing).

[Traveler]

Traveler,

Not so easy for the depressed person depending on its severity. His is more genetic then circumstantial.

jbosyk,

Do you experience angry fits some times?

If so, don't let it affect your career. It can and will cause you to get canned. Also, Checkout DCS as I stated in the second posting.

I am not an expert but I have never met someone depressed that is in good shape - eats right (no junk foods) and has proper rest. I know many people that are depressed (several in laws) and in every case they are out of shape - eat poorly and do not get proper rest. I have a son that developed depression on his mission - got involved in some addictions and sought help but always struggled - now that he is involved in bicycling competition and all it takes to get ready for events he has forgotten his problems. He may be the exception – but many problems can be helped by being healthy and involved in a cause.

The Traveler

[bcguy]

I know medical studies to state that diet, lack of exercise and rest exacerbate the depression.

As for woman, don't get attracted to them. I know that's hard, find a selfless woman who cares about people. My wife took care of a quadriplegic in exchange for rent free living. She cares about me but she does have some real issues that I have mentioned in the past. Yesterday we had a good time listing to a music festival. She was in really great spirits.

Go and visit a sick children hospital and visit the kids and play with them. Trust me, you will notice that your depression will start to subside and feel empathy for these kids.