mightynancy

It's a false dichotomy. A woman can work AND be a great mom. Why does it have to be one or the other?

Therapy and medication were the answer for my daughter, who was 9 when the anxiety reached crisis level. Don't dismiss medication out of hand; for my child, the medication took the anxiety to a level where she could employ the techniques learned in therapy. Without the meds, the anxiety would run away with her and she'd be unable to do anything about it. When people claim that meds "cover" I don't understand what they mean. The right meds help the child be her truest self. If a child is "doped" then they're not on the right drug or the right dose. I understand that meds alone are not a fix, that therapy + medication is the gold standard. Richards is spot on.

I don't think you can lump all teens into the same pot. I think that looking at people as individuals is infinitely more helpful than looking at them as part of a group. When bad behavior comes up, it's more useful to discover the root of the behavior than to just chalk it up to "teen" issues. You may recognize your child in the Mistaken Goals Chart that is part of training in Adlerian psychology. Also, even though it was ages ago, I remember wishing to be noticed for what I was doing right, and for the bad things I wasn't doing...I work to do that for my teen!

Wow, harsh (Eo). Information can be a burden; think twice about handing this one to your kids.

Another patriarchy bites the dust.

In your shoes, I'd try to avoid the drama as much as possible and focus on your immediate family (wife and baby). Practice being polite, for those times when you can't avoid those who will try to start stuff. Do you and your brother live near enough to get together often? What's your wife's family like? I'd focus energy on those relationships that work. It's painful when family members don't do what one would expect from them. That said, what can you do but move forward with your life? It's important to acknowledge the sadness of it, but not to remain "stuck" there. My kids have some grandparents they've never met - while they're curious why (what can I say? They don't care to come see you?), that "hole" is filled with aunties and uncles and cousins, and the other grandparents. We readily preach the ideal, but reality is often more complicated and messier. Best wishes to you as you move forward.

If there were a laugh, button, I'd click it.

One size does not fit all. I think the definition of compassion is understanding that we each have our gifts and weaknesses, and taking that into account when "holding others to standards." bcguy, I'm sorry things are so hard for you now. What LiterateParakeet said is true - even when those near to you don't get it, the Savior does. I often feel alone in church, not because nobody is intervening on my behalf, but because my questions are rebuffed; I'm even told I shouldn't think about things so much. We've had a couple of sacrament meetings in the last year that were really fulfilling for me because they were so human and it was clear that we were a community of worshippers. It's a pity it's so rare, but it happens. I pray that fulfillment comes your way, in whatever form is most meaningful for you.

You're kidding, right?

There are a lot of false dichotomies, and I think that making the depicted haircut exclusive to respecting the Sacrament is one of them.

Another thing to keep in mind is that we don't only serve God through the Church. We can serve God in our families, at work, and in the community. I don't just mean volunteering, I mean that when we treat others with love, we're serving God. Being stretched too thin make this much more difficult. Best wishes to you, Wolfboy.

Keep in mind that this church is run by volunteers. If you want to be released, let the bishop know, without waffling, that you can't do this right now. Due to a stressful family situation, I asked to be released from a time-consuming calling, and it was exactly the right straw to remove from this camel's back. If my bishop were unwilling to release me from this volunteer position, I'd let any impacted people know and then just stop doing it. Mental illness and med changes can be really hard, and a lot of people don't understand that. I'm glad your family is there for you. :)

A bit of perspective, by Anne Campbell. To My Child You are the trip I did not take, You are the pearls I cannot buy. You are my blue Italian lake, You are my piece of foreign sky. I first read this poem when I was expecting my first child and memorized it immediately. While on one hand, this is about giving up certain things, but on the other hand, it's about the wonder of getting to know this new little person. My children are pearls that no money can buy; they're a whole new world.

Wow. So, at what age does a tank top broadcast a desire for sexual contact? How about on a four year old? Seven? Ten? Fifteen? Eighteen? Is this young lady's clothing saying anything other than, "It's summertime!"? Also, how did you obtain this mind reading ability? I want me some of that.

I'd recommend trying to live on the one income for a few months, and pop one income into savings. See what happens; see which activities and purchases you can modify to be more budget-friendly. Make any significant and necessary purchases now while you have the money to spare. Being a new mom *can* be isolating - so go into it with a commitment to find and maintain supportive friendships. If your current friends view your baby as a drag on the fun, well, you'll need to find more like-minded friends. If you're open minded and not shy, meeting people in a similar life situation is easy (at the park, pediatrician's office, etc). AND it's not against the law to take some time for yourself even post baby. Best wishes!