A problem with myself or my ward

[josh85]

Hello, I am a new member of the LDS in Austria. My problem is that there are no church activities during the week.

The only ones who think about other activities and not "just" going into church on Sundays are our missionaries.

I met them a lot during the week, but it is frustrating, that I am the only member with some investigators who are there.

Since I thought about that a little bit, I don´t go there anymore, because I think it is strange, that I am the only member who meets them.

A former president said that a new convert needs a calling and a friend in church, but I

don´t have both of it.

On Sundays I talk a lot to the young adults, but no more things do happen. We see each other at church and that´s it.

It is really frustrating, that I don´t have a LDS-friend and that I lost a lot of old friends, because I joined the LDS.

On Sundays I always sit next to the missionaries during the sacrament meeting and in the time between the different meetings I always feel lost and uncomfortable.

Since a few months I am scared to go to church, because I don´t know where I belong.

Every time the missionaries talk about their own home wards and all these active people there and I think that this has to be paradise.

It seems that the church in my ward is a little bit strange. There are nearly no activities and so not a chance for a new member to really integrate himself in the ward.

So I "only" have the scriptures to study and to become stronger.

Perhaps it is my problem, but everything in our ward doesn´t fit the LDS-picture I had.

Sometimes I think that the real church with all the people is somewhere else and that my ward in Austria is just a cheap picture of that, like a fake brand.

Another thing is that I won´t talk to the bishop about my problems because I was never somekind of a "loser" who doesn´t fit in and has no friends.

Of course I still believe in the bible, the book of Mormon and Joseph Smith, but there is not a big will to go to church again every Sunday. I don´t like it to go there to feel terrible, lost and alone.

Perhaps there is someone out there who can give me an advice.

Before someone will judge me because of my false use of words and grammar, I would like to add that I am not just a new member in Austria, but also a young man from Austria who just learned the English language at school.

[Ozone]

Dear Mr. Josh85,

It is with sincere thanks that I received your posting and would love to be among your friends,

I do understand fully as to where you are coming from. I too am now single again and have not returned to my ward for sometime due to " Mormon want to bees " out there. Yes it is very tuff to be single and be in this church as they seem to view only familys and couples. I have not given up on our Heavenly father as I know that he lives and therefore knows our personal needs.

Until I see the time for my return to the ward, I shall do only the prompings of the Holy Spirit

that moves my heart in the direction of what Heavenly father would have me do and go. Do not give up.. There are many people out there like us and if we use alll that God has given us to unite as singles

then I am sure a change will come. After all " With God all things are positable ". Look on the bright side for now as the missionarys are there for you, I have seen mine only once in three years and even then it was for only a moment.

Respectfuly Mr. Ozone

[Jbs2763]

you mentioned earlier that you are in school, is there an institute program there? or a YSA ward? if so they tend to have social stuff going on, including FHE, maybe find kids your age on facebook.

[BenRaines]

When I lived in a small country we created an informal institute. We held it on Wednesday nights so that there was somewhere for the members to go in the middle of the week. Many churches have Bible study in the middle of the week so we organized a scripture study in the middle of the week too. You may need to use the missionaries to do this if the Bishop can't get a member to do it. More of an informal Sunday School class in the middle of the week.

Ben Raines

[Misshalfway]

If I were you, I might take the bishop or branch president aside and share your concerns. Perhaps you need a calling. Perhaps you need to find out if there are any activities that are being organized on a Stake level rather than the ward level. Then I wonder if it wouldn't be a bad idea to jump in and just be a leader. Who cares that you are new!! Call some singles and have them over for a game night. Perhaps the missionaries or ward mission leader could help you get to know key people who might be up for some fun socializing.

I might also just jump in! Go teach a primary class. Or volunteer to help in the nursery if you have one. Get a Home teaching assignment and get to know some people that way. Phone up the Elders Quarum President and Relief Society Pres. and get a list of all the singles in your area. ANd then seek opportunities to introduce yourself.

It is most certainly intimidating and sometimes a struggle to fit your way into mormon culture and practice. Give it some time and don't always believe those feelings of loneliness. Not knowing you or your ward makes me guess, but I wonder if God is going to use you to ignite a fire. Perhaps there are other singles out there who feel as you do and wish for more activities.

And just another note....just because you have joined the church doesn't mean that your entire social life has to revolve around it. Still maintain your relationships with good people of other faiths. We need people and people need us no matter what faith we belong to.

The church is suppose to be better at fellowshipping new members, but sometimes the ward just needs a kind kick in the pants. Tell those missionaries of yours to find you some friends!

[talisyn]

*hug* I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, that's never a fun thing. Misshalfway has really good ideas, maybe you're the one that your ward has been waiting for!

Another thing is that I won´t talk to the bishop about my problems because I was never somekind of a "loser" who doesn´t fit in and has no friends.

You don't have to be a 'loser' to talk to your bishop He's there for a very good reason. He can help organize and get you involved with others who may be feeling the same as you. A very wise man said 'be the change you wish to see in the world'. It's tough and probably not fair to a new person like yourself, but you can help others.

And I totally agree with Miss:

Tell those missionaries of yours to find you some friends!

or we'll tell their moms.

[Guest]

Hey, we're here! Who says we have to be neighbors to socialize! Friday nights on the forum - a-okay party! LDS.net is socialization, yes? Okay, just say yes, because, I would hate to admit that I really don't have friends...

[Guest JoshDwellington]

Hey josh85 :)

I totally understand your situation, b/c I've been there, done that. (no thread highjack)

First, it's not your fault at all !

It's great to know there are some youth out there who keep on believing and attending sacrament, even though they don't necessarily have friends or family there. Props for that !

The thing you should know is that in Europe, the Church is (as you may have noticed) small and not popular. To change this trend, some people have to make things move. I'm trying to be one of those. I've made some friends out of investigators, that got baptized later and became members. (serious)

It took some time, but you know young people attract other young investigators.

However, as far as weekdays activities are concerned, I only focus on my 'non member friends', b/c as I said previously, the church is very small in here. Sometimes, I do travel quite a bit to meet some other wards, and other youth.

Ever tried this Josh ??

Once again, I do understand your frustration. Don't worry, ask your bishop about WHEN the time will be ok to have a calling.

You're doing good man, keep it up :)

[josh85]

Hello. I would like to say thank you to everyone who gave me an advice.

I think that I will try to involve myself more, instead of waiting that I will get someday a calling.

Before our Sunday School starts the teacher always asks us, if there is anybody who wants to say something or if anyone has an idea for something.

Perhaps I will ask the other brothers if they would like to play soccer someday in the week.

We have a nice gym and I don´t know why nobody uses it.

Another thing is, that I will read the scriptures everyday, continue to go to church on Sundays and keep my old non LDS- friends together too.

So there wouldn´t be such a big problem, if I won´t find so many LDS-friends in church.

Perhaps I will make myself a plan with the following aims:

- To get a calling before the year is over

- To organize some meetings with YSA before the year is over

- To find at least one nice person in church I will be able to call a good friend.

- To have a few dates with nice female church members.

Right now I am very optimistic that I can make it. I mean we are all human beings and we like it to find new friends and new people we like. So I won´t be the only one who feels the same way as I do.

So, thank you very much, many of you gave me such a good advice:

Exspecially JoshDwellington who lives in France and who understands how difficult it can be to live as a LDS in Europe.

And Misshalfaway who has a lot of good ideas that say that I should be a little bit more active and involve myself more.

Thank you very much.