Feeling a little down

[mlbrowninwa]

Hi all, hope everyone is having a good day. I am feeling a little down after church today. When I arrived at church it seemed I was bombarded with requested to do things tonight and throughout the week. I was asked to go out with the missionaries tonight and go to the temple and help out with the youth on Tuesday night and meet with the stake president on Thursday night. I had missionaries and the Bishop inquiring at the same time. I already had plans with my family for tonight, so i told the missionaries I was unable to make it. I have been very careful not to break times I have promised to be with my wife. No big problem there.

However, I would like to help at the temple and the Bishop was going to interview me after church this afternoon so I would be able to attend Tuesday night. While in church though I remembered that my counterpart at work is on vacation this week and i would most likely have to be working later than normal each night. So after church I had to decline, but told him that I would really like to, but it would have to be next time. He seemed really disappointed.

Sometimes I feel I am letting things get in the way of church and it's activities. I haven't missed a Sunday since i was baptized and I think i have been available for most things that have been asked of me. I guess i feel a bit uneasy about having to set appointments outside my home and get more than last minute notice when I am needed for something. Being a part member family has it's own challenges that I have to deal with as I always ask my wife if it's ok if whoever stops by. Am i being too hard on myself here? How do you all fit it all in? Am I expecting too much than to ask for more than 12 hours notice before an event is coming up? We knew months ahead about the temple. I didn't even know I could help, so I hadn't volunteered. I just feel I am having troubles keeping up with everything at times. Am I alone?

[Gwen]

no you are not alone. it is also not unreasonable for you to request 1 or 2 weeks (depending on how tight your schedule gets) notice on all requests unless an emergency. it is more than acceptable to remind them that the purpose of the church is to sustain and support the family. given your circumstances you need a weeks notice on requests for your time to be able to do that. they may be disappointed at first but they will adjust and learn to start calling with more notice.

don't try to go faster than you are able.... be careful not to get complacent either... it's a hard balance. hang in there.

[TheJosmo]

Don't overdo it. "It is not seemly that a man run faster than he has strength" or something to that effect. Just do your best to do what you can. The atonement is there to make up for the things you cannot do on your own. Pray for that support, and you might find the time and strength to have more opportunities to serve.

[Guest Godless]

It's okay to say no every now and then. For as long as I can remember, my parents were the go-to people for church activities, especially my mom. She'd give people rides to Church, Mutual, the Temple, where-ever. She'd help plan Boy Scout campouts. She'd help plan YW activities. And so on and so on. Recently she's been having some health issues and is having trouble just getting around the house. She's having to put limits on the things she's able to do to help out the Ward. She has the same burning desire to serve that she's always had, but she's physically unable to keep up with the strenuous pace that she used to give herself.

Point being, everyone has limits. Do what you can to help out, but remember that family comes first. If you're able to help the Elders in your ward from time to time, then that's great, but don't bite off more than you can chew. Know your limits and know when to say no.

[jadams_4040]

Hi all, hope everyone is having a good day. I am feeling a little down after church today. When I arrived at church it seemed I was bombarded with requested to do things tonight and throughout the week. I was asked to go out with the missionaries tonight and go to the temple and help out with the youth on Tuesday night and meet with the stake president on Thursday night. I had missionaries and the Bishop inquiring at the same time. I already had plans with my family for tonight, so i told the missionaries I was unable to make it. I have been very careful not to break times I have promised to be with my wife. No big problem there.

However, I would like to help at the temple and the Bishop was going to interview me after church this afternoon so I would be able to attend Tuesday night. While in church though I remembered that my counterpart at work is on vacation this week and i would most likely have to be working later than normal each night. So after church I had to decline, but told him that I would really like to, but it would have to be next time. He seemed really disappointed.

Sometimes I feel I am letting things get in the way of church and it's activities. I haven't missed a Sunday since i was baptized and I think i have been available for most things that have been asked of me. I guess i feel a bit uneasy about having to set appointments outside my home and get more than last minute notice when I am needed for something. Being a part member family has it's own challenges that I have to deal with as I always ask my wife if it's ok if whoever stops by. Am i being too hard on myself here? How do you all fit it all in? Am I expecting too much than to ask for more than 12 hours notice before an event is coming up? We knew months ahead about the temple. I didn't even know I could help, so I hadn't volunteered. I just feel I am having troubles keeping up with everything at times. Am I alone?

start telling these people the truth; and that is that you are currently under stress and need to slack up a bit; they will very soon come to understand and respect that. my bet is that individually they have no idea about your problems; start letting them know! They "will" understand.:)

[lost87]

while its true that our ward ought to be a family to us and we to them, I think that the OP is doing something very wise and honorable in respecting his non-member wife and the time that they share together

I think that if you were to explain to those people who are requesting these things of you that you have to maintain the time you have set aside for your own family but would love to help in any way you can outside of that time then they should absolutely understand and RESPECT you for being such an honorably husband. Your ward is a family to you but it should never take priority over the needs of your own family..."no success can compensate for failure in the home"...that includes success in the church, its not worth much to you if you lose your family in the process. Your ward leaders and the elders will understand that. GREAT job on everything you are doing! I love the way you honor and respect the feeling of your spouse despite the differing beliefs, it is such a wonderful example of Christlike love and compassion!

[mlbrowninwa]

Thanks to everyone for the responses, it's a big help! I hope in the future things will calm down a bit and give me more time to serve more in the church. I have a calling and participate in as many meetings as I can. Over the last few weeks I have really been feeling the spirit. I feel that I have struck a good balance between the church and those in my life that are not part of the church. Sometimes I feel that maybe I am not doing enough with the church family and today was one of those days. I do have a different circumstance than most in my ward and I try to keep that in mind. I just hope that those in the ward do as well.