Switching wards

[MaMeeshkaMow]

My wife and I have been in our ward for about a year now. We are in a huge ward where the overflow is overflowing all the time. We like it alright yet it's one of those wards where you feel you can get lost (almost like you don't have a unique presence). Not to say wards outside Utah are better, but the wards I've been to in New York, France, and Japan seem to have MORE warmer people, people talk to you....maybe it's because the big numbers out here in Utah, but we are feeling the social aspect of church is missing in our lives (I know it's not the most important reason to go, but it's nice to connect to people).

So here's the question. My wife is Colombian, speaks Spanish and we found out that there's a Spanish speaking ward kinda close to us. Now I don't speak Spanish (really wanting to learn) and we had our first baby (who we want to learn Spanish eventually). Do you think it's ok to switch wards? Is that a good enough reason to switch wards? Thanks!!!

Edited September 24, 2009 by MaMeeshkaMow

[beefche]

I don't know if anyone can answer that for you. You and your wife should make this decision together. Have you taken it to the Lord in prayer? Also, you should check to make sure you can attend; meaning, you can have your records moved there. Depending on the qualifications, your family may or may not be "qualified" to attend that ward.

Do you expect things to be different in the Spanish ward? Just a word of caution....don't rely on changing wards to improve a social experience. I would advise you (no matter which ward you are in) to make an effort to be friendly to others. Invite people over for dinner or games. Participate in classes, attend activities, etc. Keep an eye out at church--there is someone there who needs a friend. Even in large wards, if you look closely you will find someone who seems to be alone--sits alone, doesn't initiate conversations, etc. That person is probably feeling much like you feel--alone and unwanted.

[LDSVALLEY]

I used to feel like an outsider in our New Ward (7yrs ago now). After a conversation with a Bishop he got me to look at the situation differently and I realized it was only me who created that image. A few months after that realization several of us newer members in the Ward, around 10 or so were talking one day and we got on this topic and 8 of the 10 felt that way also. Then a few longer term members came over and most of them felt the same way!

We were a Ward where a majority of the group felt everyone else fit in but they did not!

I am a shy person when I am not in a situation I am comfortable with. IE meeting new people, small talk etc. When I became a Mission Leader I struggle for example I can conduct a baptism but then need to be alone for a few minutes to regroup. I was supposed to greet people and get to know investigators. To go with Missionaries to meetings when needed etc.

I thought about what the Lord does to change people's hearts who then can change their environment. I thought of my limitations and how I would like the Ward to appear to others when they arrive. Since I suck at small talk, unless you want to discuss military history, what could I do to make others feel welcome and important?

Starting 18 months ago I challenged myself to a 60 day experiment to look after Investigators, New Memebers and Less Actives.

Each Sunday 20 minutes before service starts you will find me standing at the main door opening it for people. Since it is not a place for small talk I can greet each person warmly, smile, shake hands, occasionally help with them getting in, and stay in my comfort zone.

Most of our few Ward Missionaries have caught on and either join me or go out of their way to greet new people, introduce them to leadership etc. With their example more members are taking a few moments to do so as well.

We appear to be a much more friendly ward to new comers then previous. We are having more investigators come back and members who had stopped coming are more interested in attending church again.

Instead of removing yourself to a new environment might I suggest first trying an eight week experiment like I did. Think about what your comfort zone will allow your family to do and then how your family can improve the atmosphere of the Ward. Then for eight weeks do it each week and every week. Don't go for big plans go for simple. If it works for you greet people at the door of the building ( I find the door into sacrament too congested and requires small talk so you can't greet everyone.) Or greet people going into a class after service etc.

You might be surprised at the difference it can make for your family and the Ward. If after 60 days you don't find a change then you should feel better about switching to another Ward.

PS I don't want you to think all the change was a result of what I did in our Ward. It was two things. The first by greeting and opening doors for people I became more aware of connections that were already there. And noticed more the efforts of members that they had already been making. The second was most people act within the situation they feel they are in. When they feel alone they act it which makes others feel unwanted. When they feel noticed they interact more with others and open themselves up more. Most of it is subconscious which is why we don't realize we reflect it.

When someone changes the expected we become more aware of our surroundings and alter our response to the new situation. Give it a try you have nothing to lose and much to gain from the attempt.

[hankpac]

Talk to your Bishop, and get his guidance.

[Compassionate]

General policy from the Church is that we need to stay in the boundries of our ward in which we live.

A few exceptions are, military going to english speaking wards in foriegn countries, temporary assignments for work. Even if there are two ward buildings on the same block or several wards in the city we need to support the one we are assigned to. Can you imagine everyone wanting to be in Pres. Monsen's ward or any of the first presidency or the 12. There is wisdom insupporting the place you are living. The best advice I have always depended on is "Become part of the solution not part of the problem". Hope this helps.

[will227457]

stay in your ward....get involved there is always someone moving or needs help....im sure they pass out sign up sheets for all kinds of crap..they do in my ward volunteer and get to know guys....