Need a Testimony

[Tazzerina]

I'm not sure how long this will get, but props to anyone who makes it all the way through. I really don't know what to do anymore.

To start at the beginning, my family is not religious at all. They're happy for me to go to church, but of course it's only "that mormon church" that concerns them. Anyway, I started dating my first boyfriend three years ago and he was LDS. At this point I knew nothing about the church and didn't have any desire to. But I loved and was just attracted to the people I met through his family. I went to church with him once but didn't take it seriously and didn't really get anything from it. A year later, we stopped dating, but I was still close with his family and the friends I'd made.

Now fast forward to this summer. I had just come back from an exchange in Chile and started dating another guy from the church. We'd been really good friends all throughout high school and a long time ago I had asked him for a Book of Mormon (his dad's the bishop). At some point during the summer, I just decided to find that old BoM and actually try to read it this time. I know it looks like it was just because of the boy (that's what I keep hearing from people), but I was honestly curious about what it was that all of these amazing friends I had had in common. Anyway, I was talking to him on the phone one night and I told him that I had started reading the BoM again. He was caught totally off-guard but was so excited. The next day I met him in a park and he started teaching me about the church. The next week he brought me to church, sunday school, and I met up with my girl friends for young women's.

That was in August and I've been participating in all the activities, classes, and seminary since then. I've also made a lot of changes in my life to meet church standards, which is not easy in a house full of people who just don't get it. Now the problem is that I simply don't have a testimony. I LOVE the church. I love the people and I love the ideals. It's not even the doctrine or practices I have a problem with. It's simply a matter of knowing that by getting baptized I would be making the most important decision of my life correctly. I've been praying nonstop, studying scriptures (almost through Alma!), talking to friends, and doing a ton of outside research on the tougher questions. I WANT to believe the church is true more than anything. But then I'm scared that by wanting it, I'm just making myself think a certain way. I know I need Heavenly Father in my life but I just don't know how He wants to be in it. Like I said, I've been praying about it for months but haven't gotten any kind of answer or confirmation like those that I hear about from other members. I know He has a plan already, and maybe I'm just not ready for the truth yet, but I just don't know what else to do. I'm trying to just turn it all over to Him and let Him know that I'm completely ready to do whatever He would have me do. I just don't know what that is. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[skippy740]

Testimonies are earned through personal trial, sharing them or by simply DETECTING them within ourselves.

Try asking yourself these questions:

1. Who do you believe God is?

2. Who is Jesus Christ? What did He do for you? How do you know this?

3. How has God communicated with us throughout time? Do you think God's pattern changes?

4. Who was Joseph Smith?

5. How do you feel when you read the Book of Mormon? Have you prayed about it?

6. How does the Holy Spirit communicate truth to you? How do you feel when you know God has answered a prayer? Has he answered your prayers on this?

You've been searching EXTERNALLY for what is an INTERNAL and very personal decision. It's my opinion that if you've really done all that you've written, that you probably already have more than enough information to help you base a decision and to pray for the conviction OF that decision.

Doctrine & Covenants 9:7-9

7 Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

9 But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me.

You may want to fast and pray for guidance and faith to help you make your decisions.

We'll be pulling for you here on LDS.net too!

[ryanh]

Your experience isn't too dissimilar to my experience when trying to figure out whether or not to join the church when I was 16. It took quite a bit of time and effort to get that answer that reassured me this was the restored church and Heavenly Father wanted me to be baptized. Perhaps it just took quite a bit of time to recognize the answer. Listening to the Spirit was not something I had ever done previously (and still struggle to hear).

There was a talk given in General Conference this last May that may be of help. Despite the title, the talk is about learning to recognize the whisperings of the Spirit and gaining a testimony.

Finding Strength in Challenging Times

You are in Alma huh? Have you made it to chapter 32 yet? Verse 17 on.

I can empathize with the worry about knowing vs convincing yourself because of desires. What is the chicken an what is the egg here? "But then I'm scared that by wanting it, I'm just making myself think a certain way." Or is the converse true - that you are wanting it because you have already felt and recognized it's right and true? Just some food for thought.

[rameumptom]

Be patient. Brigham Young took two years to gain a testimony and join the Church. But when he gained it, it was solid enough to withstand all the attacks and trials brought on by the enemies of the Church.

For now, consider Jesus' statement, "by their fruits ye shall know them." If the things you see and learn seem good, follow them. If these things are leading you closer to God and a belief in Heavenly Father, then they are good things to follow and believe in.

Specific testimonies on Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and other things will come with time. Focus on learning, but do not over-concern yourself about when the testimony comes. Make a list of the things you do believe in right now that correspond with the Church's teachings. You'll be surprised with how much of a testimony you may already have.

Sometimes we do not recognize the testimonies we have, or how the Holy Spirit is working within us. When I was 16, a friend of mine took me to play basketball in the LDS Church. The bishop invited me into his office for a chat. I did not know it then, but the Spirit worked strongly upon me in his office and afterward, preparing me for the day when I would recognize my testimony and join. The Book of Mormon notes that some Lamanites had received a witness of the Spirit, but did not recognize it as such when it occurred.

I remember seeking a testimony like Joseph Smith's with angels or God appearing to me. Didn't happen. What I didn't understand then was God would witness to me in his own way and time. And he did through the Holy Ghost. And as I now look back on my conversion, I recognize many of the times when the Spirit witnessed to me, but I was too inexperienced to recognize it at the time.

So, be patient. Do what you know you need to be doing that is right, to follow God. He will gently lead you to your testimony, and he will help you recognize it as it grows within you.

[Hemidakota]

I'm not sure how long this will get, but props to anyone who makes it all the way through. I really don't know what to do anymore.

To start at the beginning, my family is not religious at all. They're happy for me to go to church, but of course it's only "that mormon church" that concerns them. Anyway, I started dating my first boyfriend three years ago and he was LDS. At this point I knew nothing about the church and didn't have any desire to. But I loved and was just attracted to the people I met through his family. I went to church with him once but didn't take it seriously and didn't really get anything from it. A year later, we stopped dating, but I was still close with his family and the friends I'd made.

Now fast forward to this summer. I had just come back from an exchange in Chile and started dating another guy from the church. We'd been really good friends all throughout high school and a long time ago I had asked him for a Book of Mormon (his dad's the bishop). At some point during the summer, I just decided to find that old BoM and actually try to read it this time. I know it looks like it was just because of the boy (that's what I keep hearing from people), but I was honestly curious about what it was that all of these amazing friends I had had in common. Anyway, I was talking to him on the phone one night and I told him that I had started reading the BoM again. He was caught totally off-guard but was so excited. The next day I met him in a park and he started teaching me about the church. The next week he brought me to church, sunday school, and I met up with my girl friends for young women's.

That was in August and I've been participating in all the activities, classes, and seminary since then. I've also made a lot of changes in my life to meet church standards, which is not easy in a house full of people who just don't get it. Now the problem is that I simply don't have a testimony. I LOVE the church. I love the people and I love the ideals. It's not even the doctrine or practices I have a problem with. It's simply a matter of knowing that by getting baptized I would be making the most important decision of my life correctly. I've been praying nonstop, studying scriptures (almost through Alma!), talking to friends, and doing a ton of outside research on the tougher questions. I WANT to believe the church is true more than anything. But then I'm scared that by wanting it, I'm just making myself think a certain way. I know I need Heavenly Father in my life but I just don't know how He wants to be in it. Like I said, I've been praying about it for months but haven't gotten any kind of answer or confirmation like those that I hear about from other members. I know He has a plan already, and maybe I'm just not ready for the truth yet, but I just don't know what else to do. I'm trying to just turn it all over to Him and let Him know that I'm completely ready to do whatever He would have me do. I just don't know what that is. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Adding to other wonderful posts, I approach GOD the same way as Joseph Smith did in receiving a testimony. I wanted to learn it for myself and not to be reliant on others. IN doing so, I used Moroni approach with GOD until it was answered. Not just asking once, but determined in a daily ritual of prayer until it was answered. Now, before this happened and it did not happen in a day, a week but months, I made a change to my life style and began to testify to others what I had already learned in proving myself before GOD. It was the desire of my soul in receiving an answer by no other way. I wanted to know…

Allow GOD to answer and testified to you when HE knows you are ready. As Ram stated, be patience before your maker but continue on in attending meetings, get in involve, study the words of the Savior, and continue to ask for a testimony. I will attest, it would be an answer you will know for sure it was from GOD.

God bless you in your effort in seeking the Truth.

[LDSVALLEY]

Often times in our quest for knowledge about some things we get into the can't see the forest for the trees issue. We spend so much time trying to insure we understand each aspect that we lose the basic simple answers right in front of us.

I used logic to guide me into the church at first, I received an answer when I prayed about one aspect of the church, the Book of Mormon. I liked the concept of Home Teaching but didn't get an answer about it. I didn't get anything about tithing, Joseph Smith, Prophets etc. But logic told me a youth who made up the story wouldn't keep saying it was true when getting attacked for saying it. Prophets on Earth today made sense because logic said God would love us as much as those in ancient times etc.

If I had a testimony of one thing then everything else had to be true as well. Read page 435 BOM, its in 3rd Nephi vs twenty something. Seek ye first the kingdom of God....

I figured if God did not exist then when I die I;ll never know I was wrong, if he does it would suck to not have done what I should have to be with him.

Testimonies are living things, they take time and effort to grow. Some grow slow others fast, but once you get a small one about something the rest will come.

Remember God loves you.