Why I'm Wary Of Facebook by JeaNette Goates Smith

[CornMuffinsMama]

Muffins, you have made some inferences and assumptions that are out of line, and wildly inaccurate. Assume whatever you would like, I suppose it doesn't really matter what misconceptions of my thoughts and purposes you have in mind.

Nor do I understand how you, Muffins and Anatess, could so completely misunderstand the purpose of what I wrote. Did I ever once say that FB doesn’t have some potential for good? Or, upon really reading what I said, can you see that I was talking about individuals that “cannot see” and are blind to problems. I can only assume that the hyper defensiveness is either because you flatly cannot see the potential for evil, or are so emotionally vested that you can’t read my post correctly.

To attempt absurd analogies such as knives, beds, or the internet as a whole is just ludacris and without sound logic. Divest yourself of the unreasonable emotional attachment before trying to discuss something in a civil manner. Do knives really stir up deep seated emotions from hormone-heavy days of youth like private chats with an old fling does? Does FB have the same capabilities of facilitating family history like FamilySearch.org does? Or provide for resources and gospel dissemination akin to LDS.org? What critical life-necessary function does FB play that is analogous to the function that beds are used for? Utter silliness.

I have no doubt at all that the concepts and functions of MySpace, FB, and other such sites were inspirations and promptings of the adversary. I don’t disagree that they can be used for good, but the purpose of it's development was to serve his, and mankind’s selfish desires. And I’m saddened that isn’t more obvious to people.

If FB were primarily for the good purposes of keeping in contact with family, then why wasn't some ‘family-keeping-in-touch' website the one that became the craze instead of MySpace and FB? Because, such a site wouldn't be serving the self-aggrandization and hook-up purposes that have made MS and FB such successes.

If FB's dark underbelly has not yet touched your family or friends, that's good. But, maintaining an "all is well in Zion" attitude about it is sure to make it more likely to creep into your lives. I'm sorry if that ever does happen. It is enough of a problem among the saints that it has been addressed by apostles. That says enough to me right there.

What did I say that was wildly out of line and inaccurate? Especially any more so than what you said in your own post...

I have indeed had some wonderfully productive discussions on Facebook. Recently, a friend of mine posted a note about what it means to her to be a wife and asked for others opinions. The dialogue has been wonderful and created some fabulous connections with other women of God and allowed for us to uplift each other and share testimonies of what God has done in our marriages and in our lives through adherence to God's Word in our marriages. That's ONE example.

I never said that FB doesn't have capability to be used for evil, I specifically said it has capabilities to be used for both, but it all comes down to CHOICES that INDIVIDUALS make. Everything in the world around us presents opportunities and temptations for evil, but it is up to us to decide how we will act. It is also then up to us to take RESPONSIBILITY for those choices and actions. Unfortunately, Facebook, MySpace, the internet, etc. are all too often wonderfully convenient scapegoats for those who would prefer to take refuge behind an excuse that frees them from responsibility. "Oh well, it's really Facebook's fault that I cheated, even though I made the choice to go talk to an old fling and go beyond the bounds of what is appropriate Facebook is to blame.." Blaming a thing or a concept for the failings and sins of people is absolutely shirking responsibility. It's so much easier to say "Facebook is evil! Facebook should be banned! You're morally corrupt if you use Facebook!" than it is to deal head on with the issues and choices that are behind the downfall of society.

Additionally, I never said FB was created for the purpose of linking families, I said that that might be why some defend it as if it is family, because for many that is what it is. That is what people have CHOSEN to make of it. Instead of choosing to make it a way to rekindle old flames and feelings better left alone, people have chosen to make it a positive thing, a way to stay in touch with family members, friends, and other loved ones. It all goes back to that whole issue of personal responsibility and individuals making choices.

[mnn727]

So after 50+ posts what have we learned?

That Facebook has a lot of fans that plan to continue to use it and it also has some people who don't plan on using it. I didn't see one persons mind get changed from what their belief started from.

My one (rhetorical) question for those who claim to have hundreds of "friends" is this: How many of those "friends" could you borrow money from if you were broke?

[Guest]

So after 50+ posts what have we learned?

That Facebook has a lot of fans that plan to continue to use it and it also has some people who don't plan on using it. I didn't see one persons mind get changed from what their belief started from.

My one (rhetorical) question for those who claim to have hundreds of "friends" is this: How many of those "friends" could you borrow money from if you were broke?

Good question! Rhetorical or otherwise!

Most of my family and friends in there are in the Philippines, so if I were broke, they wouldn't be in a position to give me money. (Note, I have several lists - one for work, one for church, one for school, one for general news, one for networking in case I lose my job, family, friends, etc. etc. etc.). But, every single one of the people in my family list and friends list I will loan money to if they go broke. I just looked and there are 376 people if I add both lists.

So, just to give you an idea of how some people end up with a thousand friends on FB...

In case you are wondering how I get to have 376 people in my family and friends list... I can tell you now that those are only the ones that have FB accounts - I have TONS more without FB accounts. Let me give you an idea of how this came to be... my father has 8 brothers and sisters - all of them have nothing less than 3 kids most of which are married with 3 or more kids of their own. That's just my father's direct family. There's still my mother's side. Then there are my father and mother's cousins whose children would be my 2nd cousin. We all are close-knit. We all grew up in the same town. You should see my phone bill. I have 4th degree cousins on my mother's side that we visit in Orlando - no need for hotel when we go there. Okay, I have some "cousins" that are not really cousins - we just grew up together with my cousins that they just become adoptive cousins. Anyway, that's a very common occurrence in a Filipino family. My family is just "regular" size. And to think we don't have divorce in the Philippines! No extensions by double marriages unless somebody dies.

You know Friendster? It is another one like Facebook. Friendster became popular because of the Asians and their big families. I used to have Friendster for my family but a lot of them high-tailed it to Facebook - mostly because of Farmville So, I dropped Friendster.

Okay, in case you don't know this... you can limit the people who can see anything you put in FB. I used to have several profiles in FB before they made this change to the privacy settings so that I can specify which list can see things I put in FB. So, this new privacy setting makes it much better. So, when I say, "Hey guys, I'm gonna be at Panera at 6 tonight. Be there!" It doesn't just go to everybody connected to me, it only goes to the specific people that it is intended to go. It is much easier to make Church announcements now because I can just tell it to go to my Church list and not anybody else.

Also, you can make yourself unsearchable so that your name will not appear on a search function. But even then, I don't use my name on any internet site unless I intended to be found that way. So, you will not find me by my name on FB. And neither will you find my birthday. Now, you can be visible to anyone that is connected to anybody connected to you, so they can find you that way. But, you can set yourself up so that everything you put on FB is only available to your friends only and not to the friends of your friends. And for anybody to connect to you, you have to approve a friends request. You can deny the request.

This is what I'm trying to say - you need to know how Facebook works (or anything else for that matter including lds.net) before you put anything on the internet. BE VIGILANT!

Do you know that all I need is your name and the county you live in and I might be able to get a picture of your house, tell you how much you paid for your house, etc. etc.? It's fairly easy.

[Mahone]

Do you know that all I need is your name and the county you live in and I might be able to get a picture of your house, tell you how much you paid for your house, etc. etc.? It's fairly easy.

Certainly can in the UK. All a person needs is my name and age, or name and rough location and they will get my exact address off the electoral roll. Google street view can then give them a shot of my house. The details are not current in my case, but it's amazing how much information is out there free for all.

[Bini]

That's crazy @ Anatess and Mahone.

I'm not sure how many FB buddies I have. Probably around 300 though. And I do in fact know each and every one of them personally but that doesn't elect all of them as BFF's or anything of that nature. And as for "borrowing money", it'd never happen, it'd be the other way around for me.