SomeAnonymousGuy Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 My friends and family don't sympathize with me so I hope that I can have advice from my lds brothers and sisters. So, I left my girlfriend for a week and a half to go to visit my aunt who just had a stroke and the day I came back to see my gf I was clingy without noticing and that somehow lead to an argument. I gave her time for herself but she now says everything I say to her is annoying (no matter what i say), and the thing is she doesn't want me to leave her either... I don't know if the relationship is damaged forever, and I've prayed to god to give me strength many times but I'm still confused and I don't know what to do. She's the only girl I've dated that's made me feel loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gabelpa Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Here's the thing, if she gets all huffy over a small matter like you described, do you really want to spend Eternity with her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alana Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 I'm really confused. You're clingy, she got annoyed... this sounds like a normal part of a relationship, learning about the other person. Why would something small like this be ruining things forever? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomeAnonymousGuy Posted May 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 She doesn't talk to me anymore and tells me to go away when I talk to her too much. She believes I've become less of a man since I came back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomeAnonymousGuy Posted May 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 The real question is how I can leave her and have both I and her happy afterwards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Godless Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 Based on what you've told us so far, leaving sounds like the best option, or at least taking a break. It'll suck for a while, but you have to move on and get past it. Take it from someone who's found "the One" three times, a failed relationship isn't the end of the world, as much as it may feel like it. You'll heal after a while and hopefully find happiness with someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 She doesn't talk to me anymore and tells me to go away when I talk to her too much. She believes I've become less of a man since I came back.When I read that I thought that perhaps it's time to move on. If she's not talking to you anymore then that's a sign of a number of things, from lack of interest in the relationship, to an inability to resolve differences in a mature fashion. When she says she doesn't think you're as much of a man anymore, that also shows a tendency toward disrespectful judgments toward you that you can do without.I wouldn't persist in a relationship with someone who treated me that way.I agree with Godless that it'll hurt for a while, and I don't want to minimize what you'll be feeling. But you need to be with someone who knows how to talk through problems. Someone by whom you feel respected, and who has that willingness to listen and talk through problems without being too judgmental.I say move on based on the limited information we have to go on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alana Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 AH, basically, things were great while they lasted but things have come to an end. Well, is there an easy way to end a relationship? Just be honest. Before you talk to her, be honest for yourself about what you want to have happen. Do you want to give it an other shot? If she's upset and wants to give it an other shot, do you? Think of it from different sides so that whatever happens you don't get caught up in the emotion of things and seeing her mad/sad/mean/hysterical/overly loving when she hasn't been in a while. "things aren't working out, I think it's time we moved on. It's harder for me to be my best around you and you deserve better bla bla bla.." Good luck;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 My friends and family don't sympathize with me so I hope that I can have advice from my lds brothers and sisters. So, I left my girlfriend for a week and a half to go to visit my aunt who just had a stroke and the day I came back to see my gf I was clingy without noticing and that somehow lead to an argument.That weird. She said I was starchy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 The real question is how I can leave her and have both I and her happy afterwardsYou can't make her be happy. You can only control yourself, and for some of us that takes more work than we thought we need to do. If she wants space, then give her space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 That weird. She said I was starchy.Pasta and potato starchy, or stiff starchy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 How close are you? I'm assuming fairly close because one generally doesn't talk about leaving the girl they've gone to the movie with a few times for a family emergency but I just wanted to make sure because if you aren't particularly close I could see why the arguments and the feeling you are overly clingy after such a trial. As far as feeling you are being less manly because of your tender state of mind at the moment, it sounds like someone has bought into John Wayne's Myth of Manhood . Personally I'd be leery of anyone who takes the opportunity while you are vulnerable and showing them that vulnerability to attack you. It is when we are most vulnerable that we need to be able to trust the people we love the most not to abuse/take advantage of that vulnerability. Of course on the other hand nobody is perfect and if she's in a vulnerable place herself she may be lashing out to give herself a sense of being in control particularly if she feels you are the reason for her vulnerability. Additionally if she's having a hard time herself she may be seeking out solitude in an effort to deal with it and people it seems rarely have the foresight to just say, "Yeah, I'm having a hard time and need to be left alone to deal with it*" but instead push people away. * Depending on the level of this that could be a indicator of trouble in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomeAnonymousGuy Posted May 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 It's okay everyone, I broke up with her and now I'm happy. I haven't felt so relieved in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mormonmusic Posted May 30, 2010 Report Share Posted May 30, 2010 It's okay everyone, I broke up with her and now I'm happy. I haven't felt so relieved in a long time.There's you're answer right there. I remember feeling that way after I broke up with someone who wanted to marry me years ago. Afterwards there was a flood of relief.Good luck going forward; I hope you find someone around whom you naturally feel good about yourself due to their respect for you.....onward! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john doe Posted May 31, 2010 Report Share Posted May 31, 2010 It's okay everyone, I broke up with her and now I'm happy. I haven't felt so relieved in a long time.Now that this is resolved, I'll close this thread........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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