Help???

[Lindsey_H]

Okay, well first off I'm Lindsey. I was baptized at 17 in november 2008. I was a active member up until a few months before my 1 year as a member came up when I moved. I came back 3 months later and got a job and it's been an additional 5 months since then. I haven't been able to attend any church due to work at home depot and I'm going through a difficult time.

I feel like I've lost my virtue I guess. I swear, have a tattoo[in memory of a deceased friend], I smoke occasionally, I do lots an lots of things I shouldn't. I've become more and more saddened by my actions and have been begging work for Sundays off and 3denied requests later here I am. Still fighting what is right and wrong internally. I miss church and I want to go on a mission when I'm 21 but I'm also in love with a man in AZ that is a whole different set of problems...

With him everything is total perfection we want kids together and have planned our loves together bit he's too afraid to be a man and live away from his family. He's a devout Jehovahs witness and is treated like a baby literally at the age of 23. I've expressed to him that I don't see his church as true and his faith actually depresses me a little...well it does a lot...but he still is set that if we marry I MUST be JW. I can't do it. I'm sure he is the one for me. I feel it with every bone in my body and like heavenly father has sent him to me. He refuses to see any of the lds missionaries or even look at the docterine. But we have managed to have a middle ground and have the occasional scripture reading and discussion of the two printings of scripture.

Any ways, in a nutshell work is destroying my ability to stay close to heavenly father through sacrament meetings and this guy is perfect only he wants me to join his church which I can't join because I know the LDS church is true and the gospel is true.

Thank you for reading.

Any tips or advice will be welcomed.

- Lindsey H

[rameumptom]

Lindsay, you have to determine between good, better and best.

When you are ready to begin following God the way you know you are supposed to (and I'm not saying you have to be perfect, but just started in the right direction), God will open up doors for you.

If you cannot get off on Sundays right now, then attend a local Institute class on an evening. Or ask the bishop if you can help with Young Women's on a week night. These steps will help you stay spiritually charged until you can get a few Sundays off. If Home Depot won't give you any Sundays off, then prayerfully look for another job at a place that will give you at least some Sundays off.

Don't worry about the tattoo. Focus on what you can control. Start praying daily. Start studying your scriptures daily. Work on cutting down on the smoking - set a goal to quit. Put a rubber band on your wrist, and every time you swear, snap your wrist lightly. Every time you consciously choose not to swear, give yourself some great praise and a pat on the back. You can overcome these issues.

Don't stick with a man who is a mama's boy, and that insists on being JW with you. Get your life in order and God will prepare you and the eternal man of your dreams for you. Love is an emotion. It is also a choice. You can love this man, and you can learn to love others, as well. This man is good, but you deserve to have the best. No, he is NOT perfect. You even state that he has issues, such as being a mama's boy. There are many other more wonderful and more righteous men out there, who are LDS. Prepare yourself, and God will open the door for you to meet one or several. Don't settle for less.

As for a mission, it may be in the cards for you. First, prepare yourself. Become spiritual. Once you are in a good place, you will then be able to determine whether a mission is still the correct path or not. Right now, however, you need goals that will get you ready for either a mission or a sealing in the temple.

In all things, follow the Spirit and not your hormones. You are a daughter of God. Don't sell your birthright for a mess of pottage, whether cigarettes, a marriage outside the temple, or cussing, etc.

[Guest mirancs8]

I know you feel it's so tough for you right now. First of all talk to your Bishop about these issues. He is there to help you. Don't worry about that tattoo I'm sure there are a few of us out there sporting them under our clothes. You are so very young please get your life in order before you get to attached to a young man. When it comes to relationships make sure to date others. You don't have to commit to anyone right now... just get to know different guys. You don't want a mamas boy trust me. Your denominational differences will cause greater conflict if you get married AND even greater conflict if you have children with this man.

Take your time... talk to you Bishop... and work on yourself before you bind yourself exclusively to a young man. You have so much going for you and your someone special is out there for you. God will bring you both together when HE sees it's fit to do so.

[Roseslipper]

i agree with what the others said. I know its real hard. But its not as hard as you think. Remember your a Child of God. And He loves you always. And wants the very best for you. Build up your confadence, Sorry I dont know how to use spell check lol.. Build up your Faith. Draw closer to God, in thought and deed. Remember non of us is perfect. And try to get another job where u can have Sundays off. You can do it!!

[FunkyTown]

You are facing a difficult time, Lindsey. You're a convert. You can remember when you felt the spirit and when you wanted to be better, but life is weighing you down and you aren't so much turning away from the church as feeling like the road is too difficult. I've been there and fought through it and I know you can, too.

You want to go back to church, but I should warn you that it won't make everything better. If anything, it will get more difficult as you're tested to the limits of your endurance. But there is a happy answer:

It will get better. You are loved. You aren't alone. If you want it, there is a support network of people who can help you through. You don't have to tough it out alone.