ZionsRodeVos Posted March 21, 2011 Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 I've tried to figure out how women seem to manage everything and some men in the same situation can't. This was one of the main reasons I joined a parenting forum. I separated from my children's mother about 6 years ago and divorced her a few years later. I'v had custody of our 4 children for about 5 years now. They range in age from 15 to 10. The youngest is the only girl. I asked lots of questions of the women on the parenting forums I've been a part of, especially about girls. One told me how to braid hair. Others helped me know what kind of nail polish to get for my girl. I learned these things because they were ways I thought of to do things with my daughter and at the same time didn't require too much time and gave me something to do with her instead of just all boy things. I've considered having help in the home too. For a while I had a house keeper. I've debated the pro's and con's of a live in nanny. I've considered getting a cousin to come out here and help as I too am far from any family. If hiring a guy I'd be concerned about my daughter. The reason I haven't seriously considered a female is because my custody order specifically prohibits a female sleeping at my house while my children are there. If not for that then I know I would have gone through the wondering about it and wondering if I should ask my bishop. My children help some but more help would be nice. I've managed to learn a lot but still struggle to find enough time for everything. My children do bring down the dirty clothes and take their clean clothes and put it upstairs. I put the loads in and sort the clothes into baskets in the laundry room. There is one for each of them. My children make their own meals. Each time I go shopping I buy what I know each will prepare in the microwave (most of the cooking happens there) or on the stove. A set schedule which include time to do a few chores has helped a lot so that they all know what to expect and when as the evening winds down to bed time. I think the suggestion about getting your children to help with the cooking as much as possible will help you out a lot. Then get each of them to do a few chores a day if possible and this will help a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rockmanlinux Posted March 21, 2011 Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 HAHA, I'm going to take some of those comments as funny instead of get upset. Drill sargeant with my kids. Your funny beings you barely have a seven year old while being married. Most single mom's can't handle one day of my life so... DOn't go there. My kids do work. They do their own laundry, cook etc. Thats not the issue but you'd have to be in my shoes to know that I guess. I know many believe me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rockmanlinux Posted March 21, 2011 Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Most single mothers couldn't live one day in my life so the whole thing that single moms can't do this w/o batting an eye. I laugh forever... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2011 Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 (edited) Most single mothers couldn't live one day in my life so the whole thing that single moms can't do this w/o batting an eye. I laugh forever...I agree with you. I don't know your situation at all. And yes, I do understand that I was being too... what's the word... prejudiced. I was commenting on a "general" sense. How I feel that a lot of times, women are expected to know how to deal with these things while men aren't. My comment was meant to put that perception (which is prevalent) in balance.It was really not meant to put you down - more of like a "how do other people do it?". Because... there are a lot of people who are coping in similar situations.Yeah, most non-single mothers can't live one day of my life... let alone single mothers. I don't know how single mothers/fathers do it period. But, if that becomes my lot in life, I'm sure I will face it head-on following the same principles that has allowed me to take care of my children while working and going to school at the same time.I'm a drill sergeant in my house. Only way to get things done without me having to yell at anybody... Set expectations and expect kids to follow them. Just like a fire drill. They know what to do when.Of course, you don't have to listen to anything I say... just thought I'd offer a few suggestions is all. Edited March 21, 2011 by anatess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted March 21, 2011 Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 My mother was widowed at the age of 38 with 7 children--ages 1 to 16. And we lived on a dairy farm. Talk about struggles--she went to work full time as a secretary, plus did the housework, milking, mucking, haying, and everything else that went into farming. My two older brothers helped with the farm, and the older girls helped with the housework. Mom could only keep that up for four years. We ended up selling the farm. No one seemed to bat an eyelash at her being a single mother with all that responsibility. I hope when she gets to the other side, the Lord has prepared a "Mansion" for her, because she surely deserves it. All single parents, male or female, have my full respect. I do have concerns about having a man living in the same house with a teenage girl. Friends of our family allowed a male co-worker/friend, who was separated from his wife and struggling financially, to come and stay with them. They found video tapes of the co-worker/friend having sex with their 15 year old daughter. The co-worker, no longer a friend, was jailed for rape. My husband and I happened to know this man very well, (he and his wife had lived with us for awhile too) and would have never guessed that he would do something like this. Whenever you have someone come live in, whether it be male or female, you just never know what might happen. I know the Lord is aware of your struggles. I like the idea of talking with your Bishop. See if he has any suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted March 21, 2011 Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Thread closed at OP's request. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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