Doubts

[arden2011]

My testimony has wavered. I have a very hard time reading the Book of Mormon because I start to feel that it may not be authentic. Yet there are times that it does feel that it is authentic and so try to plow forward in reading. However my doubts have troubled me for several years yet I have tried to ignore them and have stayed active in the church. I haven't wanted to share specifics about my doubts to others because I don't want to create doubts in their minds and do not let on to others about my doubts. There are some great spiritual experiences that I can't deny so I have had so I try to rely on that to escape my doubts.

I have recently been involved in a relationship that has overstepped bounds in chastity. I want to repent and have met with bishop before on the matter. It is necessary to meet with him again about continued chastity issues but I am starting to wonder if all of that is in vain. My doubts in the validity of the church make me think whether moving forward in repentance and working with a priesthood leader in that matter is also in vain but I am working toward that end.

I am just wondering how to approach this all. Should I be afraid to talk about these doubts with some trusted members? I am afraid that it will cloud their perception of me and open me up to a barrage of concern that is exaggerated and unrelated. I have thought of sharing this with my bishop but, although a very good man, I have a very hard time talking to him.

What is your wise counsel?

[JudoMinja]

Sounds like you are going through some pretty standard feelings given the nature of your trials. We all go through periods of doubt. Hopefully, they make us stronger, but for that to happen we cannot give up on ourselves You cannot give in to the feelings of futility. Address your doubts. Talk them over with people who can help you understand them. Look for answers in the scriptures. Pray.

Ultimately it will all come down to whether or not you want to believe in the church and in the atonement, and whether you want to believe you are worth saving. The actions you then choose will reflect your faith.

[HiJolly]

Even if one believes the Book of Mormon to be false, as in, not literally true, that does not make it useless. Were Jesus' parables literally true? We have good reason to believe they were not literally true.

Yet we study them, we meditate on them, we learn from them, and they change our lives for the better. So in this sense, whether the Book of Mormon is 'authentic' or not, it has the power, if we believe in it, to change our lives for good. So it's worthwhile to study it regardless.

As for doubt. Happens to all of us, and my opinion is that given most Church member's weaknesses, you probably shouldn't talk to anyone except your Bishop about your doubts, and not him either, if he can't keep a secret.

The downside:

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might

win by fearing to attempt.

-- William Shakespeare,

Measure for Measure, Act 1

The upside:

"To refuse to doubt, think about or question what you are told

is to miss an opportunity to talk to God"

-- Father Leo Booth

The annoying truth:

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and

the intelligent are full of doubt."

-- Bertrand Russell

The uplifting truth:

"Living with ambiguity is a form of intellectual honesty, of

humility. It is only when we admit that we don't know that we

are receptive to what lessons may be taught. In some strange

way, it also brings an inner peace since we are no longer

fighting reality to maintain our inner fantasies on how things

should be. While I am characterizing it as an intellectual

process, it also has spiritual implications, since only an open

mind is capable of hearing God."

-- Andy Piereder (on Eyring-L)

Best wishes to you.

HJ

[Guest]

You can't really gain a solid testimony without first questioning.

That's the crux of the Garden of Eden. We need an opposition to all things so that we may learn the truth of the matter. For example, I was born Catholic. How do I know that I am on the right path unless I question the path I'm on? Those questions led me to a conversion. And now I'm with the LDS church. I still question until today. Every single question I have, I face squarely and bring to God to help me with an answer. Every answer I receive makes my testimony that much stronger.

A person born LDS still requires a conversion. You don't just stay LDS because that's what you grew up as. You stay LDS because, after you have searched for the truth of all things, you found the answer in the LDS church.

Doubting, in itself, is not bad. You don't just ignore your doubts. Otherwise, it will just fester. Doubt is the absence of a testimony. Face that doubt squarely. Bug people if you have to. Kneel down in prayer always asking God to tell you what is the right path. Blast through it until you find the answer. Because, once you find that answer, then there lies your testimony.

The reason why there is repentance is because man comits sin. It doesn't make you a lost case. It just means you have something you need to work on. God loves you that much that he provides for you a way to come back to Him. What makes it bad is if you give up on it. Everytime you stumble pick yourself back up and work some more.

Spend every single day of your life diligently and honestly searching for truth in all things pleading for help from the Holy Spirit. Go bug your bishop - or your home teacher - or your RS/YW Presidency - or your visiting teacher - or your mother... or anybody who you think can help you find the answer. Ask nicely - not accusatory. Make sense?

Good luck.

[Vort]

My testimony has wavered. I have a very hard time reading the Book of Mormon because I start to feel that it may not be authentic. Yet there are times that it does feel that it is authentic and so try to plow forward in reading. However my doubts have troubled me for several years yet I have tried to ignore them and have stayed active in the church. [...]

I have recently been involved in a relationship that has overstepped bounds in chastity. I want to repent and have met with bishop before on the matter. It is necessary to meet with him again about continued chastity issues but I am starting to wonder if all of that is in vain. My doubts in the validity of the church make me think whether moving forward in repentance and working with a priesthood leader in that matter is also in vain but I am working toward that end.

[...]

What is your wise counsel?

Try looking at it this way:

We must have the Spirit with us. If we have the Spirit, we can know and even do all things required of us. Our testimony grows brighter, our attachment to the world lessens, and we come unto Christ. As we have the Spirit and read (for example) the Book of Mormon, the Spirit teaches us the truths in that book, and we come to love and value it even as our testimony of its truthfulness and divinity deepens.

Fornication and other transgressions of chastity cut us off from the Spirit immediately. Few things are more effective in severing the lines between us and our Father in heaven than chastity violations. So when you "overstep bounds in chastity", you deafen yourself to the voice of God and, in effect, strand yourself alone in a vast wilderness. No wonder you find your testimony wavering!

Now, people who do not violate the laws of chastity can nevertheless find themselves struggling. This is the common lot of humanity and a necessary condition of our mortal existence; we are cut off from God and we must struggle to find him and come unto him. So the point is not that you are experiencing these things only because of fornication. But violating the laws of chastity does make it a great deal more difficult to feel the Spirit and hear the voice of God.

My suggestion: Shelve your doubts for the moment. Continue reading your scriptures and talking with your bishop. Put your heart and soul into changing your life and your attitude so that fornications are no longer any part of you. Once this change is taking effect -- and that might take weeks or months, or perhaps even longer -- then take stock of your situation and see if you still feel the same way about the Book of Mormon. My guess is that you won't; but if you do, you will be in a much better position to pray about things and hear the voice of God testifying to you.

[JudoMinja]

Fornication and other transgressions of chastity cut us off from the Spirit immediately. Few things are more effective in severing the lines between us and our Father in heaven than chastity violations. So when you "overstep bounds in chastity", you deafen yourself to the voice of God and, in effect, strand yourself alone in a vast wilderness. No wonder you find your testimony wavering!

I can testify to this. This is part of why I have such a strong testimony- because I know the Spirit is real. I went through a period where I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. As with most sins of that nature, it happened gradually and I didn't really sense the Spirit departing me. It was hard to remember just how good it felt when my testimony had been strong before and the Spirit had been with me always. There was an empty void where He used to be, and it hurt. This fueled a great many doubts and led me to making some more pretty unwise decisions.

However, when I decided it was time to repent and come back to church, I found myself experiencing something amazing. I delved back into my scripture study, cut off everything that could tempt me to pursue my addictions and worked hard on rebuilding my testimony, faith, and self-control. The change was once again gradual, but I eventually reached a point where I once again had that continued presence of the Spirit.

Then, some earthly stresses and problems, I found myself once again strongly tempted to masturbate and I relapsed. The departure of the Spirit was immediate and frightening. So frightening was this obvious departure and feeling of emptiness that at that moment, I knew in my very soul that this church is true. I confessed the relaspe to my bishop, explained how I felt, prayed for forgiveness... and I highly doubt I will ever relapse again.

[Guest]

I can testify to this. This is part of why I have such a strong testimony- because I know the Spirit is real. I went through a period where I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. As with most sins of that nature, it happened gradually and I didn't really sense the Spirit departing me. It was hard to remember just how good it felt when my testimony had been strong before and the Spirit had been with me always. There was an empty void where He used to be, and it hurt. This fueled a great many doubts and led me to making some more pretty unwise decisions.

However, when I decided it was time to repent and come back to church, I found myself experiencing something amazing. I delved back into my scripture study, cut off everything that could tempt me to pursue my addictions and worked hard on rebuilding my testimony, faith, and self-control. The change was once again gradual, but I eventually reached a point where I once again had that continued presence of the Spirit.

Then, some earthly stresses and problems, I found myself once again strongly tempted to masturbate and I relapsed. The departure of the Spirit was immediate and frightening. So frightening was this obvious departure and feeling of emptiness that at that moment, I knew in my very soul that this church is true. I confessed the relaspe to my bishop, explained how I felt, prayed for forgiveness... and I highly doubt I will ever relapse again.

Judo, thank you for this! This is one great testimony.

[JudoMinja]

Judo, thank you for this! This is one great testimony.

Thank you... though my writing brain is reading over it and groaning. Can't believe how many times I used the term "once again" in the same paragraph. And then I said it once again () in the next paragraph!

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Can't believe how many times I used the term "once again" in the same paragraph. And then I said it once again () in the next paragraph!

And now you've said it twice more in this post! (sorry I couldn't resist teasing you.)

Thanks for your testimony!

[rameumptom]

If by "authentic" you mean historical, don't focus on that so much. focus on whether the words are of God or not. Seek out the mind of God as you study the scriptures. He'll guide you to where you need to be.