thinking of conversion and hubby flipping out

[me1600]

Background:

we are Unitarian.

I am Christian but looking for a home. A daughter of a scholar I have research LDS a solid year before attending my first service. I feel home.

Hubby: son of intense athiests, the closest he has felt to God is 12 step, I have respected that, I love him, and I know that his lack of faith is NOT due to defiance it is due to great fear his parents instilled in him. Literally telling him those who believe in a God are mentally ill.

I have watched this man suffer such anxiety with out our Heavenly Father to lean on.

We both came from dysfunctional families.

Anyway, we have always supported each other spiritual struggles searches and journeys.

Then I got to LDS for first time today and he flips out. "please don't become MOrmon" he said to me. I was shocked and saddened. He doesn't even know the who details OF the church.

Heck, he doesn't know the details to any religion it gives him deep anxiety (rejection from family)

I was upset. We may have agreed upon a mixed marriage upon on wedding but it meant we supported each other in our quests. He even told me Hindu was appealing to him. I said go for it.

I know we won't be sealed in the Temple. But I know God is merciful, and he knows the trauma my husband has with spiritualness. MY issue is, he told me what I could not do.

It hurt me deeply. This church is FEEDING MY SOUL. I am a better person this evening then I was this morning for going to my first service??? what to do?

as a side note: I just had a friend who converted from Calvanism to Orthodoxy. And while these are different religions, her husband took it VERY badly as well. They, on the other hand had not the agreement that my DH and I had when we got married.

what to do what to do?

[estradling75]

There is no magic bullet here... No magic words that is going to make his words unsaid.

This calls for long, detailed, and heartfelt talks with your husband to work through the agreements and understandings you have together, and see where you really do stand.

It seems most likely that your Husband sincerely meant his agreement when it was just a logical thought exercise. But now that it is more a reality his non logical or rational but very real 'issues' are coming out.

Edited May 30, 2011 by estradling75

[Guest mirancs8]

My ex was flipping too for a long time about it. It takes time, open communication, and understanding from both sides. I'm sorry you are going through this. I can relate 100%. Hang in there and don't give up on what you believe in your heart. I didn't and I never looked back.

[ruthiechan]

Show him love and patience.

You can live the tenants of the Gospel without getting baptized. The most basic tenant is love and service. You can do that for your husband. Love him, support him, pray for him.

There are God-believing people who ARE mentally ill. Example, this crazy lady: Guilty verdict in 'exorcism' trial | The Journal Gazette | Fort Wayne, IN

It's the absolute of ALL that is false.

However, it sounds like he needs to know that you're not going to turn into a lunatic, that you'll still be the person he loves. Hence, follow the basic tenant of love and service and do so toward your husband.

*hugs*

[ChooseTheSun]

I'm in the same boat in a way -- husband is a nonmember and equates LDS with all the random religions that knock on doors and approach strangers.

I've actually made things work by avoiding any pressure to convert him or the children. I go to church and read my scriptures, but I don't try to invite him to events or convert him in any way. I tithe my own income (not the husbands). My VT is arranging to meet with me away from home.

For me, the hubbie's concern seemed more based in fear of "change", not the particulars of the religion. When he saw that my LDS membership didn't make me wacko and keep me from loving and supporting him, he lowered his guard. He even showed a brief flicker of disappointed shock when I didn't make it to church one Sunday (work).

Give it time. The Holy Spirit is with you, and that is always a good sign

[me1600]

I find it strange that he is Unitarian and talks of tolerance constantly yet when it comes to LDS he flips out. He has no idea what the church is about. But I love it. I am meeting with the missionaries soon!