Post mission rut


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I feel like i've been stuck in a rut since i've returned home from my mission 10 months ago. I feel like I was happier before my mission than I am now. I'm not sure if it's dealing with all the problems that come along with being an adult (which have literally been nonstop the last 10 months), or if i'm just super uptight and I haven't been able to let go of it. I feel like a zombie with no personality anymore. I just live to make money and make other people happy, because I don't want them to dislike me. I don't feel like I know how to have fun either. I used to love to dance, make friends, be around people, etc. It could also be that I got a boyfriend less than two months after returning home, and then we broke up last week. I don't even know if this post makes sense. Has anyone ever felt like this? Like a lame person who doesn't know how to not be lame anymore? :) I don't think it's depression. I don't feel super sad all the time. I've been depressed when things got extremely hard, but it's nothing bad like that. I just don't feel like I know who I am anymore. I feel like everyone here in Utah is fake too (I just moved here for the first time a few months ago). They all pretend to be your friend, but they're all really just looking out for themselves. Okay, i'm done venting. Does anyone get what i'm talking about? Thanks!

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"Emotionally flat" - When we feel zombified and just going through the motions, that is indeed a sign of depression.

We've all been there. We feel like we're treading water, not making any progress, and that all we're doing is passing time until something happens to make life good again.

It will get better. We've all been there.

Make this time about you. Call this time, 'How labellavita got her groove back.' Want to learn to dance? You can. Want to see England? You can. Want to go back to school? You can. We're all excited for you!

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Guest saintish

It could also be that I got a boyfriend less than two months after returning home, and then we broke up last week.

I'd guess this is 99% of your problem. I bet in a few weeks after you forget about the breakup most of your other concerns will go away. Best advice I can give you is to find a new hobby (try a bunch of different ones if you need to) something you can really enjoy and just forget about everything else for a while.

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You are experiencing Post Partum Depression. Except instead of delivering a baby and feeling the loss, you are feeling the loss of past experiences during and prior to your mission.

Time to set new goals. Life needs to be more than just working and making people happy. Go to college. Get a hobby that you can really enjoy. Go to the library and start reading all the books there. Start exercising. Spend time in nature.

I can go on with a long list. The feelings you are having are a natural event like pain when you break a bone. It is telling you that something is out of balance in your life, and you need to get balance. If you allow the emotional distress to fester, it will become long term depression. Better to fix it early by addressing your inner needs of growth and happiness. This is what Stephen R. Covey would call "sharpening the saw".

So, spend a few days writing down options that could help you be happy. Then select one or two that are within your budget (with college, you may have to borrow some money), and that will make life worthwhile again.

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Missionary lifestyle is very goal oriented. Since you have been home have you set goals? Going to school, attending Institute. Participating in all the Single Adult activities? My guess is you got home, got in a relationship for eight months and didn't develop any other friends.


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