Thinking of returning after many years

[woundedknee]

What a post for a first post, eh. Sorry for the long post.

Essentially, I resigned my LDS membership many years back. I just did not believe the doctrine or history, or at least lost belief in it. Since then I have attended other churches but still continued to eat up church history. I cannot get away from it as it is my family's history. After all these years, something has sparked me to think about things in a different light. It's not so black and white anymore to me and over the past two years I have given thought to things not though about before regarding doctrine, church history, and people. Even the thought of returning has entered into my mind after all this time.

I haven't exactly found what I have been searching for in my life elsewhere, in other churches. I haven't tried them all but my thinking seems to have come full circle these days. Odd compared to what I thought years back. It wasn't like I left the LDS faith to go sin my brains out. Basically, I have lived and raised my children with LDS standards. One of my children even became LDS not so long ago. This child, adult now, gravitated toward LDS people due to her upbringing and standards. The temple wedding just added even more thought about possibly returning.

Truthfully, I am not sure I ever knew if JS was a prophet. It seemed reasonable. Then, during my inactive period, and resignation period, the thought of him being a prophet just seemed preposterous. As I mentioned, I have come almost full circle. Now, I have a thought that it could be so. I have few answers. I'm well versed in the LDS scriptures, after having just again read the BOM in hope of finding some answers. I recently tried the challenge but got nothing...even with fasting. It frustrated me to no end.

Things cross my mind such as..."What kind of waiting period is the church expecting? I have heard some horror stories from people who have tried to go back and the process and year wait was just too much for them such that they plain ran out of 'gas'. " Sure, there is some fear to that. Groveling is the term a few people mentioned to me. That's a fear for me. "How in the world can I go back to Elder's Quorum at my age. My recollection of it all was that the discussions were so crummy that I nearly wanted to slit my throat." "Would I be welcomed with opened arms like the prodigal son? Would I be welcomed back but with suspicion waiting for me to mess up again?" Yes. All these things cross my mind. It's a fearful thing. I feel like a tender shoot at this time and feel like God doesn't want to break a bent reed...but I don't know about Bishops.

I'd like to connect with any others that might have gone through the process if possible. I'd very much welcome that.

[Dr T]

Hi woundedknee,

I have not been through the same experiences as you have since I've never been LDS. I am similar to you however in that I've asked a lot of the same types of questions. I agree with you that I cannot believe for many of the same reasons. I also have a lot of questions about my own church and beliefs but the more I search and talk the better I feel about my belief in them. I hope I dont get accused of being an anti or breaking the rules of this site. I'm only responding to the OP. Thanks for the post.

[ChooseTheSun]

Welcome, for sure :)

Maybe instead of forecasting a dreadful and burdensome return, just start by going to Sacrament meeting, daily simple prayers, and listening to the Holy Spirit. If you find yourself anticipating horror stories and wanting to "slit your throat", chalk it up to lies from the Deceiver distracting you from your spiritual journey. Don't worry about every procedural hurdle for remembership right now if that brings you down and causes stagnation. Connect with the joy and wonder that you saw in your child's Temple wedding, for example, rather than predicting humiliation and dissatisfaction.

[woundedknee]

Thanks for posting. I imagine many are asking lots of questions regardless of their religious orientation. I do not feel your comments are anti-LDS here.

Here is the thing about searching(my experience), one can find anything about anything, in many different flavors and varieties. The difficult part is just sorting through it all to find truth. Some may twist, some may have different perspectives, some may lie, some may lie only a little, while others are well versed in banter and debate and can play it either way with their words. Some get satisfaction in taking your beliefs apart, and yet some are helpful.

Hi woundedknee,

I have not been through the same experiences as you have since I've never been LDS. I am similar to you however in that I've asked a lot of the same types of questions. I agree with you that I cannot believe for many of the same reasons. I also have a lot of questions about my own church and beliefs but the more I search and talk the better I feel about my belief in them. I hope I dont get accused of being an anti or breaking the rules of this site. I'm only responding to the OP. Thanks for the post.

[LDSJewess]

What a post for a first post, eh. Sorry for the long post.

Essentially, I resigned my LDS membership many years back. I just did not believe the doctrine or history, or at least lost belief in it. Since then I have attended other churches but still continued to eat up church history. I cannot get away from it as it is my family's history. After all these years, something has sparked me to think about things in a different light. It's not so black and white anymore to me and over the past two years I have given thought to things not though about before regarding doctrine, church history, and people. Even the thought of returning has entered into my mind after all this time.

I haven't exactly found what I have been searching for in my life elsewhere, in other churches. I haven't tried them all but my thinking seems to have come full circle these days. Odd compared to what I thought years back. It wasn't like I left the LDS faith to go sin my brains out. Basically, I have lived and raised my children with LDS standards. One of my children even became LDS not so long ago. This child, adult now, gravitated toward LDS people due to her upbringing and standards. The temple wedding just added even more thought about possibly returning.

Truthfully, I am not sure I ever knew if JS was a prophet. It seemed reasonable. Then, during my inactive period, and resignation period, the thought of him being a prophet just seemed preposterous. As I mentioned, I have come almost full circle. Now, I have a thought that it could be so. I have few answers. I'm well versed in the LDS scriptures, after having just again read the BOM in hope of finding some answers. I recently tried the challenge but got nothing...even with fasting. It frustrated me to no end.

Things cross my mind such as..."What kind of waiting period is the church expecting? I have heard some horror stories from people who have tried to go back and the process and year wait was just too much for them such that they plain ran out of 'gas'. " Sure, there is some fear to that. Groveling is the term a few people mentioned to me. That's a fear for me. "How in the world can I go back to Elder's Quorum at my age. My recollection of it all was that the discussions were so crummy that I nearly wanted to slit my throat." "Would I be welcomed with opened arms like the prodigal son? Would I be welcomed back but with suspicion waiting for me to mess up again?" Yes. All these things cross my mind. It's a fearful thing. I feel like a tender shoot at this time and feel like God doesn't want to break a bent reed...but I don't know about Bishops.

I'd like to connect with any others that might have gone through the process if possible. I'd very much welcome that.

Hi Woundedknee,

Regardless of where you are in your thinking and beliefs regarding Joseph Smith, you do share something in common with him. Joseph himself was confused regarding what to believe and what was the true church. He prayed and got his answer in a most amazing way.

What I am saying is at one time or another we all have doubts about something. Perhaps our questioning is how we learn and progress.

When you return to church, and I believe that you will, just know you are doing this from the prompting of the spirit and it is about you and Heavenly Father more so than what the Bishop or Elders Q, or anyone thinks. I do think you will be welcome though more than you think.

One thing you may want to do is invite the missionaries to visit you and talk with them and ask loads of qyestions and pray with them. In a sense since you resigned, you are indeed starting over, and this is how new investigators begin. Plus you may feel more comfortable going back to church when you have the missionaries familar faces greeting you at the door.

You may even ask if the Bishop will visit you in your home. Sometimes it is more comfortable having a discussion on familair settings rather thana cross a desk.

As for how long it takes? How long to what? Each day is another day in your progression. There is no set time, but just take each day at a time and enjoy the journey.

My husband and I stopped being active for about 10 years. We never resigned, nor did we have issues regarding the basic beliefs of the church. Suffice it to say we moved around, and did not connect with people more our fault than anyone elses since we were getting lazy and not making the effort.

Our prompting came in a random (or it seemd that way to us) visit from missionaries who had our name from the member rolls and came to visit because "they hadn't seen us in a while". You think? 10 years is indeed a while. That visit was followed up by a call from the Bishop to ask to come and visit us. We had a wonderful talk and the rest is history. We came back a few months ago and I already have been given a great calling, and am making an appointment to discuss renewing my Temple recommend, which may or may not take time, but will be worth it.

Things may take longer for you because of your resignation. I'm no expert, but I am assuming this means getting baptized all over again???? If so think of it as a double blessing. Your kids and loved ones can attend and support you in all this.

I would think there are many members that have qustions or uncertainties about a doctrinal issue or two. Prayer, scripture reading, and giving yourself the opportunity to interact with others that will support and help you on your journey.

I cannot say if everyone will welcome you with open arms or not, but from my experiences, I believe more will welcome you than you think.

Just do it! Make that first step. Call a missionary, the Bishop of your ward, or just show up on a Sunday morning and you may be amazed at the welcome and support you will feel. Just be as open and honest with others and yourself as you have been on this forum.

Before you know it, you will feel like you have never been away.

[Vort]

Truthfully, I am not sure I ever knew if JS was a prophet. It seemed reasonable. Then, during my inactive period, and resignation period, the thought of him being a prophet just seemed preposterous. As I mentioned, I have come almost full circle. Now, I have a thought that it could be so. I have few answers. I'm well versed in the LDS scriptures, after having just again read the BOM in hope of finding some answers. I recently tried the challenge but got nothing...even with fasting. It frustrated me to no end.

In my opinion, this is the crux of the question. If and when you receive personal revelation to the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon (and other aspects of the gospel you are praying about), you have what is commonly called a testimony. With this foundation of personal revelation, or testimony, you can build the structure of faith that will serve you for the rest of your life and beyond.

Look, the idea of some fourteen-year-old kid on the American frontier conversing with God is a bit preposterous. No more than many other things we freely believe, but still, it's not an obvious thing to swallow. But once you have that personal revelation, it is not only easy, it's the most natural thing in the world. Of course Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon. Of course the Priesthood was restored through him. Of course Thomas S. Monson holds the keys today and presides in the role of prophet to the world.

My suggestion is to study, ponder, and pray about these things. It will probably help you immensely to talk with the missionaries, and maybe your local bishop.

Things cross my mind such as..."What kind of waiting period is the church expecting? I have heard some horror stories from people who have tried to go back and the process and year wait was just too much for them such that they plain ran out of 'gas'. " Sure, there is some fear to that.

My advice: Don't worry about this. The "horror stories" are almost certainly overblown. But if this Church is what it claims to be, it is worth any price. And if you receive that revelatory testimony from God, you will be strong enough to pay whatever that price may be.

Groveling is the term a few people mentioned to me. That's a fear for me.

Don't let it be. Ignore that fear. Besides, to whom would you "grovel"? The bishop? The congregation? Missionaries? Preposterous. Perhaps you must "grovel" before God, in some manner. Let that be as it may. We all may feel to grovel before our perfect Father, but he expects only humility and obedience -- self-effacement, but not self-mortification.

"How in the world can I go back to Elder's Quorum at my age. My recollection of it all was that the discussions were so crummy that I nearly wanted to slit my throat."

I am your same age and an elder. I love my Priesthood quorum and our discussions. Certainly I'm at a different stage in life than many of the other men. What of it? If their comments sometimes seem naive or occasionally even silly, so be it. They are only men, just like I'm only a man. We're all doing our best and trying to help each other. They are not perfect, and neither am I. But they don't condemn me for my imperfections, and I try to return the favor.

"Would I be welcomed with opened arms like the prodigal son? Would I be welcomed back but with suspicion waiting for me to mess up again?"

When you watch a performer on the stage, do you greedily anticipate the point where he drops the balls he's juggling or misremembers the punchline of his joke? On the contrary, the tendency for (non-sociopathic) people is to root for the success of the other person. It's highly doubtful that many, or even any, people will be just standing by with bated breath waiting for you to mess up. On the contrary, the likelihood is that they will want to welcome you as a brother and help you on your path.

Anyway, best of luck. Let us know how you're progressing.

Edited July 6, 2011 by Vort

[LittleWyvern]

While I haven't been through your situation, I have as a missionary helped a few people with situations similar (while not identical) to yours come back to church attendance and becoming a part of their local ward. So, I can tell you this: while the process will be slow and extremely frustrating at times, if you just stick with it and believe in yourself you'll never regret it.

I'm glad you're here. We need a lot of different perspectives to make this board work, and I'll think your journey back to church attendance will be helped by participating here. :)

[rameumptom]

WoundedKnee, perhaps the answer you are looking for is in the feelings that keep bringing you back. The Book of Mormon notes that a group of Lamanites were converted by the Holy Ghost, yet they did not recognize it at the time. Why? Because they did not recognize how the Spirit would work for them in their personal lives.

We do not always gain a complete testimony of all the gospel. But it can begin with just a few things that make sense, as you've noted in your own life.

As for the preposterous things, such as Joseph being a prophet, well is it any more preposterous than to say that a man resurrected from the dead and became God? Sometimes our brains get in the way, and we just have to allow for faith to work. If living a LDS standard brings goodness and happiness into your life, then there is something to it. If its teachings seem to work, then there is something to it.

In my decades of studying the gospel, along with ancient Jewish/Christian texts, etc., I see the faith promoting and the faith destroying concepts revolving around the Church. Yet, the evidences are just amazing. It's just that most people have not begun to scratch the surface concerning the things Joseph Smith "guessed right" about.

[woundedknee]

I'm not quite sure what I might contribute to the conversations here but I'll chime in where I can.

Thanks, LittleWyvern!

wk

While I haven't been through your situation, I have as a missionary helped a few people with situations similar (while not identical) to yours come back to church attendance and becoming a part of their local ward. So, I can tell you this: while the process will be slow and extremely frustrating at times, if you just stick with it and believe in yourself you'll never regret it.

I'm glad you're here. We need a lot of different perspectives to make this board work, and I'll think your journey back to church attendance will be helped by participating here. :)

[woundedknee]

Thank you all for your kind comments and responses to my questions and comments. I think I have received many answers to the questions I had on this topic. There appear to be many good people on this forum with refreshing points of view and opinions. I hope I have not offended others and may have helped some others that were having similar questions.