I can't stand someone!

[LittleWyvern]

I also think that part of learning to be more like our Heavenly Father (as that's also our goal, in addition to trying to please Him and keep His commandments) is learning to be patient with others and always act with a sense of Christlike love. When I have trouble being patient with others, something that helps me is to think of how patient Heavenly Father is with me. And He certainly is incredibly patient with me!

[bcguy]

I would stand up and not put up with it.

BTW, this story reminds me once as a teen, visiting my grandmothers church. A new visitor priest came in to do his quick sermon. He was so loud so verbal, you could see the veins popping out on his neck. Al the church people heads looked like they were wind blasted with there heads tilted slightly back by this intimidating very vocal priest :)

[Hala401]

I would stand up and not put up with it.

BTW, this story reminds me once as a teen, visiting my grandmothers church. A new visitor priest came in to do his quick sermon. He was so loud so verbal, you could see the veins popping out on his neck. Al the church people heads looked like they were wind blasted with there heads tilted slightly back by this intimidating very vocal priest :)

While reflecting on the incident, I realised that his voice sounds somewhat like my very abusive stepfather. The realisation has had the effect of giving me a bit of peace on the matter. I will do my best before Heavenly Father, and perhaps we shall both learn from the experience. :)

[Gramajane]

The most important things about the Gospel are that we are to love God and one another. We are to forgive when we are hurt, but we also get to protect ourselves from being hurt again. Some times it helps to try to understand where the other person who is being an agent of unease in us, is coming from. Is he afraid if he teaches incorrect doctrine that it will be on his head, and so if you leave it is his fault?

That would be not helpful thinking on his part and might cause him to be pushy which is not Christlike. It is not the doctrines ABOUT Christ (what he looks like exactly, what "powers" he has etc- ) that are so important, but what we are to DO to be like Christ.

I do think all of life is a test-- how are we going to act/react, are we going to choose to be loving and kind or angry and rejecting? I think you are on the right track, but realize that it is not a "all or nothing" type of thing-- it is line upon line, precept upon precept.

Would it help if you could feel comfortable enough to share your feelings with this teacher? What if you said something to him like---

"I have issues from my childhood with having things forced things on me that hurt me, so I really like to be invited/shared with and not force fed even the wonderful teachings of the gospel. So if I start feeling forced, then I have trouble not fighting back. Can you be extra SUPER gentle in teaching me please? "

Do you think something like that might help?

[MormonMama]

I'm curious to know, how did this past Sunday go?

[Hala401]

The most important things about the Gospel are that we are to love God and one another. We are to forgive when we are hurt, but we also get to protect ourselves from being hurt again. Some times it helps to try to understand where the other person who is being an agent of unease in us, is coming from. Is he afraid if he teaches incorrect doctrine that it will be on his head, and so if you leave it is his fault?

That would be not helpful thinking on his part and might cause him to be pushy which is not Christlike. It is not the doctrines ABOUT Christ (what he looks like exactly, what "powers" he has etc- ) that are so important, but what we are to DO to be like Christ.

I do think all of life is a test-- how are we going to act/react, are we going to choose to be loving and kind or angry and rejecting? I think you are on the right track, but realize that it is not a "all or nothing" type of thing-- it is line upon line, precept upon precept.

Would it help if you could feel comfortable enough to share your feelings with this teacher? What if you said something to him like---

"I have issues from my childhood with having things forced things on me that hurt me, so I really like to be invited/shared with and not force fed even the wonderful teachings of the gospel. So if I start feeling forced, then I have trouble not fighting back. Can you be extra SUPER gentle in teaching me please? "

Do you think something like that might help?

Well, that is a great suggestion, and I had the germ of an idea to approach him like that and I just hope that my emotions don't interfere. Part of this issue is that in Islam, women are not to argue with men because they say we get too emotional; it is forbidden. So there is that to overcome. Heavenly Father will guide us.

[Hala401]

I meet with him again on Thursday. :)

[MormonMama]

Hopefully he will have a spirit of humility as well. Hopefully he realized that he came across too harsh and didn't mean to. Maybe he's worried ever since the incident that he offended you.

But even if not, even if he's convinced that he handled things the right way, I think it's great of you to be so humble about it and willing to forgive and work with him. You are taking the high road here and the Lord is pleased with your efforts. :)

[shine7]

Hala, you don't have to grow into LDS shoes. You are already more humble than most LDS people!!!!

I was wondering if your life/background has given you teachings about God taking many forms? Just know that Father in Heaven wants you and has called you by His Holy Spirit into His Truth. Know that He is patient with us as we grow into His Will, and He will be there with you every step of the way, no matter what.

May I welcome you into the marvelous Gospel with open arms.

I don't stand up to men......this was what/how I was taught in my home/experiences. So, when I must deal with someone that is pushy beyond my comfort, I tend to just try to avoid them as much as possible.

Hugs........

Edited March 4, 2012 by shine7

[Hala401]

I have lived through some really horendous things at the hands of men, none of whom were LDS. And, though Heavenly Father has given me so much healing and blessed me so abundantly, I am still very frightened of a man who is being assertive with me. So, I really do understand not "standing up to men".

Now is different and just from the things that Holy Spirit has shown me in the short time I have been involved, I know that I am protected.

Mashallah (All good comes from God) for your kind comments.

Hala

[Blackmarch]

I am really ashamed to tell this but right now I just don't know what do to.

So I finally got Baptised last month, and am really thankful for that. Heavenly Father has blessed me so much.

So, now we are starting the New Member Lessons and what happened last night felt like the Spanish Inquisition. The man was blunt and rude and it felt like he tried to force me to believe just a certain thing. It started with The Articles of Faith, and I belive them and will obey them. Then he moved on to D&C 130:22-23. He practically forced me to say that God has a body of flesh and blood. Well, fine, I agree, but I also assert that Heavenly Father can take pretty much any form he wants to. He seemed really upset by that, and really pushed me to the point that I really wanted to just get up and go home.

Today, another sister, and a good friend, said that i missinterpret what he says and see him as another abuser. Yalllah !!!!

So, right now I am not in a good place. I want to please Heavenly Father, and will be praying and trying to find a way to cope with him. I would really appreciate some sage advice and prayer.

Much peace

Hala

well in my experience there will be plenty of folks you'll come across in the church who will be annoying. Probably the best thing is to tell them that you're still learning one thing at a time and you havent' gotten to that point yet.. then if he still hounding you about it tell him you need time and for him to just be patient. I'ts pretty rare for someone to get revelation about everything in one day... or even a year or more.

As for a testimony regarding things in the church, is stick with what has been revealed to you, this is what you know for sure from the holy ghost, and then you can work from there on other principles and subjects.

For me it was coming to know that God indeed existed and that he had a Son Christ who is our savior and that Joseph Smith is their servant and that they brought forth the book of mormon, and that the LDS church was where ineeded to be. This is what i know for sure. Because of this i have been able to accept many things, but there are still some things i don't understand completely, or i'm still studying and pondering on that I still need to accept but I'm taking my time with them because generally it's not as important to me as what i recieved.

For instance with my experience in regards to the principle that God the Father has a physical body like Christ does, I've come to accept because over time i've felt the assurance of the Holy Ghost about it and because it makes sense to me... but on the other hand it's not a deal breaker in my personal salvation- whether God the father has an body or not or whether its changeable or not, and has no affect over my obedience and reliance on Christ and being obedient to him.

[Hala401]

Thanks to the Holy Spirit, the situation is resovled to my satisfaction. I had to face that he reminded me of my step father, and that any male who gets loud really sets my nerves on edge. That is my problem, not his and it is up to me to listen to the Holy Spirit on the issue.

One thing that seems to set me at odds is that I just don't believe that we will ever, in this life, understand everything about Heavenly Father or the things that he has done. True, my understanding has increased, but I am just so awed by Heavenly Father, that I want to show respect and adoration.

Much peace

Hala

[Hala401]

We try to follow Heavenly Father's will, but often our own will and pride gets in the way. In my old age, there is a small chance that truth will penetrate my will.

[Hala401]

I am at a stage of confusion as to why after all these years of pain, error, and willfullness that Heavenly Father would choose now to rescue me? I understand that it took the will, anger and stuborness to just survive my childhood. I was horribly abused then beyond description.

Yet, when I became a young adult, and no longer had to put up with the drunkenness, beatings, and assaults, I kept my will, anger, and stuborness and sometimes it served me and others it hindered me. Some told me that I was trash, but somehow I got out of the gutter without them. So much for their plastic Jesus.

Then slowly after many people helped me or were nice to me, I began to ask why they would show kindness to someone who showed little love and much anger? Why? Who was doing this? Why did they just not send me for Hell? It is what I expected.

In my youthful exhuberance I wanted to find this one who was kind to me in spite of the fact that I did not deserve it. Who was this? Was he nuts? Did he not realise that I had been created to fuel the fires of hell? I still did not know that Heavenly Father was doing it.

So, late in my 20's I tried to find this Jesus Christ; find those who followed him, and beg for him to teach me, if he would. So many of my experiences with the followers of Jesus just seemed to reinforce my sense of worthless ness, after all I was a sinner and destined for Hell. Most of the messages were about how we had failed and produced great guilt in me and those around me. Later I questioned and began to face who I really was and eventually they threw me out. So much for them and their bobble head Jesus.

Still thoughts of my creator and rescuer haunted me and wanting to know the "One God", led me to the people who said, "There is only one God and his name is Allah SWT". Those people helped me to begin to understand asking forgiveness from God, and expecting it to happen. How could this be? They introduced me to modesty, devoutness, keeping Allah SWT ever in my thoughts. Still being a white American Muslim woman that does not speak Arabic is very hard, and eventually hope began to fade that true love would ever be in my life. Optimism about life died to be replaced by utter dispair. Knowing that God would be just and loving and that it was not likely that I would encounter it in my life, the next life began to look more appealing.

So it was that there was an encounter on the road through Kirtland, Ohio and the being led to meet the Sister Missionaries, and of their expressions of love that did not feel real to me at first, though even not believing them, still something drew me to continue meeting with them.

A time or two a man has tried to minimize their role; saying that the real work is done by the elders. For that, I would refer them back to the words of President Hinkley about the role of women. He was known to be our champion. The Women in Our Lives - Gordon B. Hinckley - October 2004 General Conference - YouTube

And, for me, it had to be a woman that would approach me, to still my fears, and to begin to convince me that the love of Heavenly Father and the power of the Holy Spirit. Had a man confronted me, it would never have happened.

The 13th of March it will have been a year since I first met the Sisters at Kirtland. Through them, Heavenly father using the Holy Spirit began to change life for me in a way that I still can not fully comprehend. It is difficult to write about that time; the screen becoming somewhat less distinct due to some unbidden moisture that forms to obscure my vision.

Yet, these days joy fills the life that I once nearly terminated. It is hard to comprehend, yet it can no longer be ignored. Heavenly father redeemed a life that seemed unredeemable. It is in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that the love that would gentle me, still my fears, and quench my anger would overtake me. It is the true church and as long as I breathe, I will testify to that. :)

Edited March 5, 2012 by Hala401