Helping a friend (Preventing falling away)

[jrm_1]

Hello,

I thought I'd post on these forums, as it is nice to know that we all have support from each other.

Several months back, as I was called as a Gospel Doctrine teacher, a certain individual showed up in my class and I had this feeling that I should eventually talk to this person. I felt like I should be a friend. Fast forward to today, we are now best friends. But something happened. When I met him, he was strong in the church, attended nearly every week. But as the months progressed, I saw his attendance fall.

Eventually he started missing church for months at a time. I'd always tell him I missed him being in my class, and that perhaps he'd be able to come the next week. I'd never push him, or tell him what to do.

I then noticed the kindness and that spectacular shining light started to change within him. I believe he has stopped reading the scriptures, and at this point in time, he isn't that friend that I once knew.

Yet, I still treat him with the same kindness, and an amazing friendship. However, I don't know what to do other than tell him that I care for him, and will support him.

He has recently started reading anti-religion books, listening to religious debates, and videos about atheism. He is now reading books with these titles, "God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything", "The God Delusion", and a few others.

Because I care for him, I have great concern. It's heart breaking to see this happen. I have tried to talk to him about it. At one time, I didn't even really know what to say, so I asked him to promise me that he wouldn't give up the church. His response was that, that wasn't a promise someone could keep, but that he still thought the church was the best way to live.

He joined the church nearly 5 years ago, so he doesn't have a strong background in the church. I do know that people who go through this should be loved, respected, and that you should be their friend. Which is exactly what I am doing.

We have another friend in common who is arguing with him, and in my opinion, making things worse.

I know besides prayer, fasting, even putting the name in the temple... it is ultimately up to him how he lives. I respect that. But that doesn't stop the fact that I worry about him, or the fact that I feel responsible because I am his friend and don't know how to help.

Have any of you gone through this? Or have suggestions?

[JesusParadox]

It sounds like he has hardened his heart to the things of God. Since that is the case only the spirit can soften his hearten. What you can do is continue to be his friend. Just continue to be his friend and never cease to be his friend. If you continue to be his friend, when he falls he will have you to pick him up.You could even approach him lovingly and say, "I can tell you are not interested in the church and I don't like your decision but I still consider you a great friend."

[Guest]

Have any of you gone through this? Or have suggestions?

The LDS Church is not the only source of good. Yes, it is where you find the most complete truth, but truths are also found everywhere else.

As a friend of someone who is struggling with his testimony, I wouldn't do anything to confuse him any more than he is already. I would stick to the basics just like you are doing - love him, respect him, be there for him. Worry about him, sure. Pray for him, even better. But, in the end, this is his journey and you can't walk that path for him.

My own personal view on the matter is that as long as he is honestly, diligently, and humbly seeking truth, the light of Christ will lead him home. It might not be the same strait and narrow path that you are taking, but he will get there. So, I wouldn't worry about where he is looking for truth. I would only worry that he is honestly, diligently, humbly, and constantly seeking it.

[jrm_1]

Thank you both MasterOrator and Anatess.

I appreciate that. I will continue to be his friend. I will support him. Anatess, I do like how you said "this is his journey and you can't walk that path for him". I agree. MasterOrator, it possibly could be something that will resolve itself, as I think some trials have happened just recently that have tested his faith.

So for now, I will do the basics. Love, respect, be there! Thank you. I appreciate it.

[laydeebugg]

I myself have a very good friend who is struggling with her testimony. She has only been a member for a year and came from a very difficult background. I have struggled with her decisions to back away from the church, but have finally come to realize that she has free agency and I cannot force her to make good decisions. I continue to pray for her, be an example to her, and be her friend. I've turned my focus on trying to change her to changing myself-since I can really only control MY decisions. :) Good luck-I know it's difficult to watch a friend struggle.

[Guest pspence2]

I've gone through this. Let it be. Let him be how he is. From my experience, he needs to find his own way to process the world. Mormonism can empower lots of people but it can be poison for other people. He sounds like the latter. THis might just make him a better person even though you don't see it that way. Maybe he will be able to live more authentically because you aren't trying to push/pull him back to the fold which gets really annoying.

[Guest pspence2]

gee I'm seeing a theme...It seems like....maybe we baptize people too quickly???