Competing with a Soulmate

[Bini]

This has been discussed at length on this website in the past, but I just wanted to say that this "rule" is fine and dandy for many people, but does not need to be black and white. As long as there are trust and open communication in a marriage, as well as mutually agreed-upon guidelines regarding communication with exes, some people may find that they don't need to block such people.

(Full disclosure: one of my best friends is my ex-fiance's wife. I didn't know her until after they got together, and she and I developed our friendship over Facebook...after I briefly re-connected with him, publicly.)

Wingnut, that's a great outcome.

For us, DH and I, we choose not to add any of our ex-flames on FB. We have fantastic communication, however, both our FB accounts are open books of our personal lives, and neither of us want our exes to be apart of that. We reserve FB invites to some classmates, friends and family only.

[mdfxdb]

No ex girlfriends on FB, thats the rule When I first got on FB all my friend requests were from ex girlfriends.

No ex girlfriends I didn't friend any of them and trust me I wanted to, but the fact that I wanted to was an indication that I shouldn't

For the OP in your case you need to call him out.....it stops TODAY......or your done...

x2 there is no valid reason to "reconnect" with an ex on FB. I will repeat NO VALID REASON

It stops or you're done. He is cheating.

[Guest]

There was a guy before my husband that I loved. I mean really, really loved. I was crushed when his mind changed (especially the way he "got rid of me", to use his own words). It took me a long time to get over it.

Now he's in my brother's ward. I hear about what a great spiritual man he is now and how my brother really likes him. At first there were little pangs of what might have been, but for one, I am married and covenanted to my husband and I cannot even entertain those thoughts. It's a pointless and dangerous road to go down. For another thing, if I use the good brain God gave me and listen to the Spirit, I know without a doubt that my husband is the one who I would be happiest with; not just because of some notion of "meant to be", but because of everything we've been through together. I don't know how the other guy would have handled the challenges that come with being my husband :), but in the end it doesn't really matter, because I've built this beautiful marriage with the man who IS my husband. And the truth is, DH is better to me than the other guy ever was or ever would have been, we are more compatible, we have more fun together, and I like him and love him more than anyone in the world. Any thoughts of the other guy would just be speculation and fantasy. I've never had to wash his underwear or share a bank account with him or dealt with illness or any of that real life stuff.

[bluedreams]

Is there such thing as a soulmate in Heavenly Father's eyes?

Don't know much about previous loves. So you'll have to take into account that I've only loved one man so far in my life (plenty of crushes and likes). But first off, that doesn't exactly sound like love to me between your husband and the other lady. I have plenty of guys/friends that I share a special spiritual/emotional connection to...or have in the past. But part of love, to me, is tied with duty and responsibility. Duty and responsibility to me entails letting go of them when they've chosen someone else and encouraging that first and foremost. Love is not so selfish to assume that happiness can only come from having your ultimate desire and any other person as a spouse would simply not do. To me that sounds more like obsession.

As for soulmates. I don't know, I don't easily negate it as I think about my life. I've decided there are 4 categories of mates out there: heck no, good, better, and best. There are people we will never ever ever be partnered with, ever. And then there's the rest who can range. Some are good some are even better a few are the best. I just let go of one of my close friends because he liked me more than as a friend...again. He made perfect sense on paper, always has. We talk well, he's smart, he's ambitious, good looking, etc. He's got a lot going for him. I'd say he's at least a better option for me. But he's not what's best. I say so, but beyond that God says so, and I listen to the Boss as much as possible.

All of this is from the musings of someone not married. I've got options. I haven't made strong commitments or covenants to another man. I can shop around for my bests. As for soulmates once married....as long as they're not on the heck no list (ie abusive, of poor repute, etc) then that's your soulmate and it's time to work on that. As long as both are willing to do so. Then there's no reason not to work on it.

With luv,

BD