Coaches

[Misshalfway]

So, my 12 yr old kid plays competition soccer. We are new to the team and the coach. As with most teams like this we knew it would be a time commitment, but things are getting out of hand.

The practice field is 30 min away from our house and so we've been carpooling with the assistant coach who lives across the street from us. The boys are supposed to return each night at 7:30. But our boy has been coming home at 9:30 and 10:00. The other night it was 10:30 (on a school night) and we had to go the coaches house to find out where our son was. come to find out, he had fallen asleep in the back of the coaches car. Coach forgot about him and just parked his car in the garage. Last night it was 9:30 because the coach had to go to Salt Lake for an errand.

I raised a little cane with the head coach. Her answers were "wow. That's crazy. But I can't do anything to control my coaches."

At what point do you pull your kid from the team? We've put nearly $600 into it so far. Money we prolly won't see again.

[MorningStar]

She can't do anything to control her coaches?

You guys paid a lot of money for this. If they can't be responsible, then they need a new coach who will be responsible. He should at least communicate with you that they are going to be late. I would be fearing all sorts of things with a coach returning my child two to three hours late.

[Guest]

Unfortunately, carpooling your kid is not part of the coach's paid duty. Basically, he's doing you a favor.

If it's really that much of a problem, you have 3 choices: 1.) Find a better carpool, 2.) Drive him yourself - 30 minutes is nothing compared to what I drive to get my kid to soccer! 3.) count your losses and pull him out of the team.

[Misshalfway]

Unfortunately, carpooling your kid is not part of the coach's paid duty. Basically, he's doing you a favor.

If it's really that much of a problem, you have 3 choices: 1.) Find a better carpool, 2.) Drive him yourself - 30 minutes is nothing compared to what I drive to get my kid to soccer! 3.) count your losses and pull him out of the team.

Yeah. You are right. The carpool isn't part the coaches duties. The team is split between two cities (half the players from each) with a practice field right in between. And then half the team is playing up. So the carpool was promised as a way to recruit players and to help offset the time commitment for parents. I guess I trusted them to be responsible.

I have gotten him into a different carpool, but even that was problematic. I drove yesterday and waited at the drop off point for 45 min for the parents to show up to pick up their boys. This whole thing is just beyond my comprehension. Why would parents be so lax about getting their kids? One said to me, "Why did'n't you just leave them?" That is just something I would never do.

[Misshalfway]

She can't do anything to control her coaches?

You guys paid a lot of money for this. If they can't be responsible, then they need a new coach who will be responsible. He should at least communicate with you that they are going to be late. I would be fearing all sorts of things with a coach returning my child two to three hours late.

I wish there was someone to report the coach to. This is my first year in the league so I feel like I'm a little lost. Any experience with this?

[Guest]

I wish there was someone to report the coach to. This is my first year in the league so I feel like I'm a little lost. Any experience with this?

I've been in soccer youth programs since my nephew was 8... and he's 21 now! Unless transportation arrangement was written into the soccer league's program guidelines, reporting a coach wouldn't guarantee you action. Coach code of conduct may be addressed by the league and more than likely the solution would be to ban coaches from carpooling players to avoid the liability which would get the "good coaches" off the carpool route instead of making the "bad coaches" good. But if you want to report a coach, you can write a letter to the Coaching Director copied to the appropriate age group Commissioner (usually each U-level has a Commissioner). If you don't get a proper response from there, then you can escalate the problem to the League Director. And above that would be the President of the Board of Directors. Or, if your soccer club has a website, all that information should be on that site.

It really just seem like you got a bad program going on there. But really, a soccer program is just that - a soccer program. Most recreational leagues employ volunteer coaches. These coaches are usually parents of children in the team. Only Academy leagues have paid coaches. And in Academy, it is just like a school - the coaches go there to teach your kid the skillset needed to play soccer. They really don't have any other responsibility beyond that. Some Academies don't even hire their coaches for game-day coaching. They leave it to a parent volunteer.

In all the clubs/associations I've been in - and I've been in several - the parents tend to bond together and make their own social club. This is where all the things like picture-taking, game-day snacks, end-of-season parties, and yes, carpooling help is done. But, just like any other carpooling groups, you have to trust the group before you send your kid along with one of them or take their kids. And you're ultimately responsible for your own child. This is really where all the drama happens. If you get a good group then it makes the soccer experience a lot easier and fun. Otherwise, it can make soccer a bad experience.

Edited September 13, 2012 by anatess

[Pahoranite]

Unfortunately, competition soccer is now driven by the economics.

[Guest]

Unfortunately, competition soccer is now driven by the economics.

Can you explain this comment? Because, I just couldn't for the life of me see, even vaguely, what you mean.

[Pahoranite]

In my opinion, competition soccer has become driven largely by money. If you are willing to pay the going rate, your child can become a member of the team. Having paid large sums of money, parents then often feel certain entitlements (whether warranted or not). If the situation is not working out, because of the financial investment parents then feel economically unable to change the situation which otherwise may not be in their best interest or the interest of the child.

[Backroads]

Doesn't sound like there's much you can do about complaining about the coaches. If the carpool is just a nice volunteer part that isn't part of the officiall soccer time deal and that isn't working and you driving isn't feasible, cutting your losses just might be the way to go.

[Guest]

In my opinion, competition soccer has become driven largely by money. If you are willing to pay the going rate, your child can become a member of the team. Having paid large sums of money, parents then often feel certain entitlements (whether warranted or not). If the situation is not working out, because of the financial investment parents then feel economically unable to change the situation which otherwise may not be in their best interest or the interest of the child.

Then your opinion is wrong.

Competition soccer. What does THAT even mean in the US?

Soccer clubs do not train competitively from babyhood to professional. They only train important skillset to be a successful soccer player if they do decide to take it seriously. It's not a secret that American soccer is a "trophy for everyone" sport. I mean - pick an MLS club - L.A. Galaxy for example. They have an Academy for children. These teams do not compete with other MLS teams in tournaments. They only compete among themselves as part of the training or do exhibition plays with other MLS programs.

So, the only competitive anything you really do in soccer is if you're in a Travel League where you play other clubs all over the place. But even then, everybody gets trophies even if they lost every single game that season.

I have been involved in club soccer for over 15 years. And all those years, soccer is only around $200-$250 per season for Academy (paid professional coaches), $100-$150 for Rec (no paid coaches). That's 10 weeks. Yeah, the price has not changed much in 15 years. So, soccer is only $15 or $25 a week. You pay more for your weekly McDonald's Happy Meal. If you're in the Travel League it's not a different cost to join the league. But of course, you get to pay for your fare and hotel if necessary. Where does the $100-$250 per kid go? No, it doesn't go to the club for PROFIT. It goes to the maintenance of the fields, paying Academy coaches, and purchasing uniforms. Nothing is free here. Somebody has to pay to cut that grass.

My nephew was 12 years old when he got plucked from the club to join the American Team and was sent all over Europe to play in the Gothia cup. Joining the team was FREE. The only thing we had to shell money for is the hotel and airfare which was tons of money. This is 10 cities all over Europe after all. And of course, you have to pay that money... who is going to shoulder the expense of flying 20 kids all over Europe?

So, $100-$250 for 10 weeks. If that's what you call BIG MONEY, then don't even look into MMA... It's $100 per MONTH to join a Gracie Barra jiu-jitsu club and that doesn't even count the cost to join tournaments.

Edited September 14, 2012 by anatess

[mtnbikemom]

Hi Anatess,

I don't know where Pohranite is from but the competitive leagues/teams in my area quite costly and definitely not a trophy for everyone set up. The team for my 12 year old son was $1800 for the year and that did not include equipment; equipment was part of a fundraising obligation. In fact, if we didn't fund raise they tried to tell us that we wouldn't have balls or nets at practices or games. On top of that they asked the kids to sign a contract agreeing not to participate in any other extra-curricular activities. My son opted not to play. So yes, I can see where Pahoranite is coming from. It's very frustrating.

[Guest]

Hi Anatess,

I don't know where Pohranite is from but the competitive leagues/teams in my area quite costly and definitely not a trophy for everyone set up. The team for my 12 year old son was $1800 for the year and that did not include equipment; equipment was part of a fundraising obligation. In fact, if we didn't fund raise they tried to tell us that we wouldn't have balls or nets at practices or games. On top of that they asked the kids to sign a contract agreeing not to participate in any other extra-curricular activities. My son opted not to play. So yes, I can see where Pahoranite is coming from. It's very frustrating.

What state are you in?

I'm in Florida. I have not seen any of that happening in Florida. It doesn't make sense. Soccer players do not make big money here in the States.

I'd understand it if it was football or basketball or even baseball. But even then, Pop Warner football/cheering here is priced not much more than soccer and so is baseball. Tennis, gymnastics, martial arts is higher prized. Golf is higher too. Hockey is about the same level as soccer but they have a lot more equipment and they have to pay for ice as it doesn't come naturally here in Florida.

Soccer is the low end of the stick that's why most kids around here play soccer. Even those who don't really want to play soccer which sucks if you're in a Rec team... and hence the coinage, "the soccer mom" because... it's been a cultural thing for moms to have mini-vans so they can truck around all these kids to soccer games.

Edited September 14, 2012 by anatess

[mtnbikemom]

I live in the Salt Lake area and have been involved with competitive soccer for almost 25 years as a player, coach and parent. The costs have truly escalated to the point where it's cost prohibitive for so many kids. Playing for fun seems to have fallen by the wayside and as the financial investment increases, so does the deplorable behavior from uber competitive parents. Alas, a conversation for another day.

For this particular team, so many parents revolted due to cost and participation requirements that the team actually disbanded. A new competitive club has formed as a result and is doing quite well.